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10.24考试,求助修改作文,才写过两篇作文,心慌啊

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楼主
发表于 2009-10-21 22:32:00 | 只看该作者

10.24考试,求助修改作文,才写过两篇作文,心慌啊

其实在写作专区发过一次,但是怕写作专区去的人少,我又时间很紧,再在这发一次了,十分谢谢各位,拜托了!

Topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

With the progress of times, abundant advanced instruments and technology are created by humans. Holding the point of view that technology will not lead to the deficiency of children’s creativity, some claim that technology provides colorful and various information to children who are rarely in touch with our society. However, from my perspective, children are losing their creativity due to the development of modern technology.

To begin with, the vast advanced technology allows children to accomplish all the work with varied tools. Children become dependent and indolent day after day because of mindlessness and no hands-on ability, which would result in the loss of creativity. For instance, if a professor assigns an original question as homework, students always eagerly search for an answer on the all-powerful internet. Hence, facing with difficulties, children are used to turning to those modern instruments instead of thinking them over and solving the problems by themselves. How could they maintain their creativity?

Moreover, with the maturation of multimedia technology, children’s addiction in the entertainment, such as online games, films, popular songs, and so forth, leads to the efficiency of their creativity. According to the survey, students have become the main players in online games. Wasting too much time on entertainment, children leave no time for acquiring other knowledge to develop their creativity, from places such as museums, libraries, cultural centers, youth centers, science and technology centers and other public establishments. As the saying goes,No work, no money”. Only if children prevent themselves from games and expand the range of knowledge, would they become more creative.

However admittedly, some modern technology is conducive to the improvement of children’s creativity to a certain extent. The advent of internet, as an example, provides children with more opportunities to contact with different people working in diverse positions and to acquire considerable information relating to various fields, which could help them cultivate the spirit of innovation. Nevertheless, only by making great efforts to improve of their state of knowledge on the internet instead of playing online games, can children establish a foundation of independent cogitation independent and inspire their creativity.

Consequently, as a modern tool, rarely is technology beneficial to children’s creativity. On the contrary, it often destroys their creative ability as a result of children’s dependence and no self-control.


[此贴子已经被作者于2009/10/21 22:35:31编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2009-10-22 14:26:00 | 只看该作者

如果是限时写出来的 鄙人觉得已经不错了哦

不用慌 加油 同日考

板凳
发表于 2009-10-22 22:07:00 | 只看该作者

才写过一篇的人飘过。。。。准备明天再写一篇  后天考了

地板
发表于 2009-10-23 03:55:00 | 只看该作者
很好。 就是词太硬,句子太长,美国人文化比较低,不一定看得习惯。我都用中学生词汇,考过27, 27, 25, 24。我要求SPEAKING考26分, 最近才考到22分,所以不停地考。现在writing都是随便写,骂美国社会糟糕,好像很容易写的, 还提前8-10分钟写完。当然, 我是美国博士毕业, 写过论文的。我也24日考,good luck!!
5#
发表于 2009-10-23 11:16:00 | 只看该作者
写的已经非常不错了~句式很丰富~语言也通顺~~结构也很完整~~加油吧~同24号~
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