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请NN帮忙看看这篇AI拙作能打几分?

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楼主
发表于 2009-8-20 19:04:00 | 只看该作者

请NN帮忙看看这篇AI拙作能打几分?

“It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading

Which one is the better way to conserve energy, by individual nations or by worldwide cooperative cooperation? The speaker asserts that the latter is always better. While I agree with the speaker to a large degree, I have to point out that the speaker might overestimate the comparative importance of worldwide cooperation because cooperation cannot solve problems without the support from individual nations.

On the one hand, every single nation might only consider its own interests if there is no good supervision in the world. The rapid consumption of oil across the world serves as a fitting and public example. Although oil is a  non-renewable resource and unable to be substituted by other renewable energies in a foreseeable future, nearly all countries think of many ways to consume the limited resource or store it only for themselves. OPEC, a worldwide oil organization, which aims to develop oil rationally, is still negatively impacted by many countries, especially those who have a strong economic power. Consequently, some experts predict that all oil conserve might be exhausted in less than one hundred years.

Furthermore, similar to individual nations, individual persons usually behaves to realize the greatest benefits of their own if conditions permit. In effect, we have to concede a fact that selfishness is the intrinsic nature of personalities. Under the control of selfishness, one tends to consider how to meet with one's own benefits to a greatest degree while thinking little of others' demands. Therefore, cooperation might be a efficient way to restrain the appetite of individuals because individuals who commit themselves to an agreement in a team might have to maintain their reputation and long-term benefits.

On the other hand, cooperation cannot resolve any problem in the world. Cooperation is after all a loose approach that does not have a mandatory impact on the members in an organization. Accordingly, some members might choose to withdraw from the organization once they feel that continual cooperation brings fewer benefits and more infringements to themselves. If this situation emerges, the anticipated influence by cooperation might be tremendously weakened. Therefore, can only cooperation deal with a tough problem of energy conservation? Probably not.

In sum, I agree that world cooperation is essential for conserving energy. However, we should be aware that cooperation alone cannot entirely solve the problem of energy conservation.
                        

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2009-8-21 17:34:00 | 只看该作者
自己顶,请各位随便评论,帮助我进步一下
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2009-8-22 15:10:00 | 只看该作者

机器怎么能够改作文啊?还有很多NN说用了模板反而低分,哪怕是考试的时候遇到的题目恰好复习过,而且考场发挥的很好,难道机器对于套话异常敏感?如果套话是自己想好的,不是照抄别人的,它怎么能够检测出来啊?

还有一种可能,就是人工改卷发现与正文不沾边的套话,直接往低了打,如果是这样,怕怕!

地板
发表于 2009-8-22 23:31:00 | 只看该作者

如果正篇的用词不consistent的话,应该机器能感觉出来

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