[求助]各位朋友帮我看看AI

这是我用了一些模版但大部分是自己写的AI,希望大牛们给一些意见!小妹非常感谢!有明显错误,但是我不知道怎么改,希望大家帮帮我

What is the final objective of business ?it is make the obtaining of living-the obtaining of food, clothing, shelter, and a minimum of luxuries-so mechanical and so little time-consuming that people shall have time for other things.

-a business leader, circa 1930

Explain what you think the quotation above means and discuss the extend to which you agree or disagree with the view of business it express .Support your view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience.

Answer :             

The quotation is suggest that the business is so mechanical that we should minimize the time of business and spent the time to the other things. While I agree that sometimes business is a instrument for our lives, but in my view, it would be a mistake to draw this conclusion generally. The assumption is behind this view of business are that the business is always a tool for keep living, and work can’t  be integrated with the rest of our lives. I disagree both of these.

Actually, work is a important instrument for keep living. The work is needed to raise family, give best gift to children, encash promises to wife. For most people, business is more than a means to these ends. The Russian writer Maxim Gorky said “When work is a pleasure, life is joy! When work is duty, the life is slavery!” when we see this quotation we must say “the work is also give us the energy to live better, the work is give us the opportunities to get a wonderful life”.  Without work the human’s life would boredom and vice , the human would not distinct from the other animals and the human’ wisdom would not be unfold before world’s eyes. 

 In addition, the work is not distinct from the rest of life. A lot of companies supply entertainment time to employees that lead the work is not make servants feel boredom, inversely, the implementation of organize the employees to travel, sponsor family event that fulfill desires and emotion needs of employees. With the respect of individual life, the employees work more efficiency than before. We must agree with that the work could be integrated with life even help the worker do better.

In conclusion, the business is a necessary instrument of keep living and a helpful tool of promote the life more wonderful. We can’t deny and overdraw both of those, the fact is needed us to own a impersonal attitude. Moreover, we can do a good work as well as a wonderful life.

简单看了一眼

我觉得字数少了点

第一句有2个动词

是少了点哈!谢谢了!我打字特慢!