可不可以幫我看一下 AA97

In this argument, the author concludes that Nair does not need to adopt the special programs. To support his view, he reasons that there programs which were avaliable in Summit Company did not benefit their employees. This argument is unconvincing for some reasons.

Firstly, the author falsely assumes that Summit Company analogous Nair Company in all respects. Summit Company , the leader in this industry, may be different from Nair Company in some important factors such as location, employee numbers, or company's goals. Therefore, these programs did not work in Summit Company does not mean these programs can not achieve the goals in Nair Company.

In addition,  Summit Company's employees did not participate these programs may have several reasons. For example, the company already provide excellent warfare to their employees, so the employees did not need to join other programs. But we do not know what situations in Nair Company, we can not reject these program just because these programs were not work in another company.

Finally, the author's assumption that concentrating on offering extensive training will increase productivity is oversimplification. Other factors also affect productivity, but the author did not mention. The author can not argue that concentrating on offering extensive training will increase productivity, because he conclude this argument too hastyly.

In this argument, the author concludes that other companies can learn from the success at Apex. To support his view, the author reasons that employees will work additional hours at home. In addition, the author mentioned that will increase company profit. This argument is unsound for several reasons.

In the first place, the author rests on false assumption that other companies are analogous to Apex company in all respects. The success at Apex company does not mean other companies will success. Maybe there are some important different factors at Apex company from other companies. It is obvious that argument is unconvincing.

In addition, the author depends on gratuitous assumptions that accessing the company resources is responsible for profits. Doing there may have some negative impacts , because some of important data may be loss to competitive companies.

Finally, the author commits a fallacy assumption that "all things are equal". The success last year is not a sound evidence that other companies will get the advantages this year. Possibly other reasons are responsible for the success of Apex company last year such as growing economy, new technologies, or new manager. Therefore the author can not have this conclusion.

Due to the author commits the above mentioned faults . This argument is not convincing. To strengthen his argument, the author must have to assume that other companies have some vital resemblances that Apex company has and that there are no other reasons are responsible for the productivity.  

沒人回
                自己再PO另一篇
            

坦白讲，整体比较初级，呵呵，原谅我的直接。随便第三段就有n个错误。看好了啊。

In addition,  that
                    Summit Company's employees did not participate（participate是不及物动词，应该用participate in。另外整个句子有两个谓语，不知道你有无发现，应该在in addition的逗号后面加一个that，变成主语从句） these programs may have several reasons. For example, the company already provide excellent warfare to their（这个their用的也不对，应该指代company，company是单数啊，用it） employees, so the employees did not need to join other programs. But we do not know what situations in Nair Company （这是个宾语从句，宾语从句却没有谓语，所以应该在situation 后面加上are）, we can not reject these program（这种错误也有） just because these programs were not work
                    （这种错误都有？自己改吧。）in another company.

我草草看了一下就这么多问题。另外觉得整体内容太过模板化了，需要加入一些血肉。

个人意见：

1. 多看基本语法和gmat改错。

2. 锻炼写长句子，不要出错的长句子。

3. 少一点模板式的东东。