初次在写作专区发帖..希望能批改我的开头段

最近文章写了倒是有几篇，但总感觉太滥没敢拿上来，而且，现在写作的速度很慢，一般要50min+，让我好是郁闷。我分析了一下，主要是开头段花的时间太长，不知该怎么写；还有就是，在写主体部分时，对自己要表达的句子总要经过一个翻译过程，并且有时会想个半天，这也花了很多时间。不晓得各位好心的朋友对此有什么建议，我会认真地接受并学习。

今天练了几个开头，非常希望大家能仔细地批改一下。虽然我也看了很多高手批改的文章，但是自己没有尝试过，就不会有很深刻的体会，所以再次拜托大家了。过两天，我会把自己整篇的文章拿来让大家修修改改的~

175. When an admission of new school is coming, a multitude of students always go into raptures at the mere mention of the coming life of high school or college they will begin. However, as soon as they start the brand new day in new school, most of them will regard it as unpleasant experience on their first day on campus. Virtually, to compare with the life before, there are enormous of differences existing, which make freshmen feel hard to adapt to.

160. This is a money worship age, a multitude of people only concern about how much money they can earn but fail to take the moral standard into account. That’s why a large amount of people are forever complaining terrible services or products they received. Simultaneously, those consumers are looking for some accesses to reason with their suppliers. Generally, there are two avenues people give their complaints frequently- in writing or in person. However, in light of a survey, consumers who complain face-to-face seem to get a feedback more effectively rather than those via writing. (问，这之后是否还再需要亮出我自己的观点？因为我觉得，如果再说一遍我当然是选择in person，会不会有点重复了呢？不过如果要加的话，这个句子怎么写比较好？)

146. Some people regard appreciating a piece of art as it could purify one’s soul in a gallery while others consider that climbing a mountain exerting some stimulation of human potential. Actually, both of the ways that people spend their leisure time are beneficial to them. To some extent, whether to relax someone outdoors or indoors depend on his/her characters-extroverted or introverted. So for my part, I would rather stay at home, enjoying a cup of tea, than do some extreme sports.

p.s 哎，很郁闷的是，平均每一个开头都要写上15分钟...真是完了