第一次在这里发作文，写得不好。这几天一直在看小猪给大家的修改以及他的词汇替换的方法~9月15号要考了，请大家帮忙拍砖~不胜感激~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.

    Recently people hunt for jobs for several purposes, some of them aim at earn a lot of money and don’t concern about the truly mind of their own. While some others not. From my perspective, people should table the job hunting on a basement of personal interests. Here follows several potent reasons and examples to support my opinion.

    The threshold reason is that people will focus their attention on the work if they are interested in it. No one can finish a tuition perfect if the job is not fit for his taste. For instance, I abhor math so that I’ve never get a certain score on the subject. For this reason I can’t put my vigor on solving the difficult problems. Once there is a complex calculation, I feel scared and dare not to figure it out. Working is the same concept as solving math problem. Enjoyment of the work brings you a good feeling which can improve the tempo and quality during the working time.

    To such a paramount reason, there is another added. During the working hours, people can not only find interest in the work experience, but also expand the mind. When an architect does the design of a building, the enjoyment of the design would bring him more and more fantasy idea which will be helpful for his assignment.

    On the contrary, if a person burdens a job only because of the want of money, he will feel boring after a short of time even if he has achieved his purpose. There are also a lot of examples such as the dashes of the bridges. After the presidents of the projects getting the money for the construction, they take a multitude of it for personal use and then there comes the shortage. Finally the project will not be equal to the one ever promised. These cause countless accidents and make destructive damages to the whole society.

再帮忙给个分```谢谢``

    The threshold THIS WORD IS RARELY USED FOR MODIFYING PURPOSE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GET SUCH A STRANGE WAY OF DICTION.reason is that people will focus their attention on the work if they are interested in it. No one can finish a tuition perfect if the job is not fit for his taste. For instance, I abhor math so that I’ve never get a certain score on the subject. For this reason I can’t put my vigor on solving the difficult problems. Once there is a complex calculation, I feel scared and dare not to figure it out. Working is the same concept as solving math problem. Enjoyment of the work brings you a good feeling which can improve the tempo and quality during the working time.

    To such a paramount reason, there is another added. During the working hours, people can not only find interest in the work experience, but also expand the mind. When an architect does the design of a building, the enjoyment of the design would bring him more and more fantasy idea which will be helpful for his assignment.

    On the contrary, if a person burdens a job only because of the want of money, he will feel boring after a short of time even if he has achieved his purpose. There are also a lot of examples such as the dashes of the bridges. After the presidents of the projects getting the money for the construction, they take a multitude of it for personal use and then there comes the shortage. Finally the project will not be equal to the one ever promised. These cause countless accidents and make destructive damages to the whole society.

YOUR ESSAY IS FLOWERY, BUT EQUIVOCAL.maybe, you should try to convey your thesis and line of reasoning in a clear, simple first before try to use words with higher register of speech. What i can feel is that the sophisticated, albeit inappropriate, diction actually impedes the smooth, coherent expression in your writing.

try to have fun of writing and then you will one day have fun out of it!

thank you very much```

十分感谢啊```

谢谢```，不过能得多少分呢？？？