发篇作文上来请拍，请德客的猪等众牛牛

题目是JJ里挑的一篇，以前没怎么完整写过，请大家狠砸！14号就考了，还没怎么练习，时间把握不好，这篇用了31分钟，写完后稍微改了一下个别主谓搭配错误，句子措辞都没改。

Movies and Televisions make more negetive effects than positive effects on young people’s behavior.

同意

1、充斥暴力、不健康的画面，年轻人很容易模仿

2、一旦沉迷于此，会影响学习

3、当然也有对它们有好处的节目，在家长引导下进行

As the development of mass media and information communication, the prosperous  programming of movies and televisions become more and more prevailing and eye-catching for the audience. To a large extent, we can say that movies and televisions have become an integral part in our daily lives. For the young people, however, whether these two vehicles play a positive role or a negative one are worth considering. In my point of view, I think they have more negative effects for the young generation.

In the first place, the young people tend to mimic the similar action as the movies and televions play, which usually are unhealthy for their growth. As ultimate products of increasingly intense commercial competition, the format and content of movies and televisions are depend on the taste of the mass. Consequently, a wide range of violent or unhealthy pictures are left up to the young people’s mind. For instance, the Virginia campus shoot which happened a couple of months ago, the shooter used to watch violent movies, who in turn generate a revenge impulse to other professors and classmates.

Another aspect of the negative effects of movies and televisions is that they may affect young people’s academic education. As a student, one’s main goal is to receive a well rounded education and to get into colleage/ university. If he/she is addicting into watching those that make no any help for study, the consequence will be hard to imagine. In addition, most of the teenagers are not muture enough to control themselves in a proper way, therefore, the main responsibility for them is avoiding contact with movies and televisions.

Of course, we do not opposite to introduce the young people to watch some healthy and positive programes, such as science, history, biology and so on. These information can provide a fresh air for them to know what the world like and how the world works. The best way is to conduct watching programs under the induct of their parents. For example, the movie named Harri Potter can inspire their creative imagination and the brave to challenge the old and conventional views.

In conclusion, I personally think movies and televisions make more negative effect for the young generation. On the one hand, parents and teachers should help them to cultivate a relatively positive attitude toward lives, and on the other hand, the producer of movies and television should take responsibility for the programming in order to provide mass audience a cozy atmosphere.

写的挺好.第二段可以多写一些.

As the development of mass media and information communication, the prosperous programming of movies and televisions become more and more prevailing and eye-catching for the audience. To a large extent, we can say that movies and televisions have become an integral part in our daily lives. (As our mass media, such as movies and TV, are undergoing rapid development and are becoming greatly prosperous, so attractive are they that we may draw conclusion that they, to a certain extent, become indispensable parts in our lives)   For the young people, however, whether these two vehicles play a positive role or a negative one are worth considering. In my point of view, I think they have more negative effects on the young generation.

In the first place, the young people tend to mimic the similar action as the movies and televions play (as the characters in movies or TV programs play), which usually is unhealthy for their growth. As ultimate products of increasingly intense commercial competition, the format and content of movies and televisions are depend on the taste of the mass. (Due to radical competition among commercial media industry,
            the products of making are directed by taste of the mass. On the other side, currently, staying in huge working pressure and suffering few enjoyments, a multitude of people expect to watch some programs with such contents as violence to give them stimulation…..) Consequently, a wide range of violent or unhealthy pictures are left up to the young people’s mind. For instance, the Virginia campus shoot which happened a couple of months ago, the shooter used to watch violent movies, who in turn generate a revenge impulse to other professors and classmates.

Another aspect of the negative effects of movies and televisions is that they may affect young people’s academic education. As a student, one’s main goal is to receive a well rounded education and to get into colleage/ university. If he/she is addicting into watching those that make no any help for study, the consequence will be hard to imagine. In addition, most of the teenagers are not muture enough to control themselves in a proper way, therefore, the main responsibility for them is avoiding contact with movies and televisions.

Of course, we do not opposite to introduce the young people to watch some healthy and positive programes, such as science, history, biology and so on. This information can provide a fresh air for them to know what the world like and how the world works. The best way is to conduct watching programs under the induct of their parents. For example, the movie named Harri Potter can inspire their creative imagination and the brave to challenge the old and conventional views.

In conclusion, I personally think movies and televisions make more negative effect for the young generation. For this reason, parents and teachers should help them to cultivate a relatively positive attitude toward lives, and on the other hand, the producer of movies and television should take responsibility for the programming in order to provide mass audience a cozy atmosphere.

我觉得还可以

As the development of mass media and information communication, the prosperous programming of movies and televisions become more and more prevailing and eye-catching for the audience. To a large extent, we can say that movies and televisions have become an integral part in our daily lives. (This is an age of entertainment. As the rapid development of mass media and information industry, movies and televisions, as the important forms of entertainment, have now become prevailing and eye-catching. To a large extent, I believe that, movies and televisions really exert great fascination on a multitude of people, especially on the youth.这里给你改了一个过渡的部分) For the young people, however, whether these two vehicles play a positive role or a negative one are(is) worth considering(pondering/considering). In my point of view, I think(in my point of view和I think重复了) they have more negative effects for the young generation(they have more negative effects than positive ones.).

In the first place, the young people tend to(用得好) mimic(mimic这个词,因为它的第一层意思是通过模仿来搞笑，这里用imitate比较好。因为imitate的第一层意思是模仿。) the similar action as the movies and televions(television) play, which usually are unhealthy for their growth. As ultimate products of increasingly intense commercial competition, the format and content of movies and televisions are depend on the taste of the mass(你需要解释大众的胃口是如何的：As no doubt, competition currently is becoming fiercer than it ever was-this directly exerts intense stress on the mainstream. Such a situation triggered a seemingly strange taste of the majority who are in the thirst of releasing their pressure, which is violent and sanguinary.). Consequently, a wide range of violent or unhealthy pictures are left up to the young people’s mind. For instance, the Virginia campus shoot which happened a couple of months ago, the shooter used to watch violent movies, who in turn generate a revenge impulse to other professors and classmates. (It will suffice to mention the Virginia campus shoot happened a couple of months ago. The shooter used to immerse himself in violent movies, which, many believe, caused his unreasonable and cold-blooded atrocity to the innocent.)

Another aspect of the negative effects of movies and televisions is that they may affect young people’s academic education. As a student, one’s main goal is to receive a well-rounded education and to get into(strive to attend a better) college/ university. If he/she(s/he) is addicting into watching those that make no any(no any不对，应该是no) help for study, the consequence will be hard to imagine(两个句子连接，需要用and连接：and the consequence will probably turn out to be what we do not expect.). In addition, most of the teenagers are not muture(mature) enough to control themselves in a proper way(to limit their own conduct into a modest circle), therefore, the main responsibility for them is avoiding contact with movies and televisions(hence the necessity for them to shun some movies and televisions plays).

Of course, we(不要说we,用I) do not opposite to introduce the young people to watch some healthy and positive programmes, such as science, history, biology and so on. These information can provide a fresh air for them to know(will help them to learn) what the world like and how the world works. The best way is to conduct watching programs under the induct of their parents. For example, the movie named Harry Potter can inspire their(the youth, 不要乱用代词，这个是很常见的错误。代词必须要在前面有明确的指代对象的时候才可以用。你前面根本没有可以指代的东西) creative imagination and the brave(名词) to challenge the old and conventional views(stereotypes).

In conclusion, I personally think(你写文章要forceful，用personally这样的词虽然很委婉，但是会显得你没有自信，所以，以后不要再用personally.至少在TOEFL的文章中是这样的。think这样的词汇也不要出现，用from my perspective就是了。发表你的观点之后，你还可以加一个:And in this, I believe unshakably, I do not stand alone<在这个观点上，我相信有很多的人的看法和我是一致的>.来表现出你的自信) movies and televisions make more negative effect for the young generation. On the one hand, parents and teachers should help them to cultivate a relatively positive attitude toward lives, and on the other hand, the producer of movies and television should take responsibility for the programming in order to provide mass audience a cozy atmosphere.

总的来说是一篇不错的文章，就是specific的例子没有。不过，TOEFL作文MS可以容忍这样的抽象论证<全文只有一个实例>。

开始的写作练习是可以不限制时间的

但是，在考前的一个月，就应该开始限时的训练。

论点不在于多，并非非要3个，只要well developed就可以了

如果你的例子够有说服力，而且够长，甚至一个例子就足够了

美国人是实例论证，中国人是抽象论证