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OG 131:
While is somewhat ambiguous, since it might indicate simultaneity rather than contrast; the referent of it is ambiguous, raising questions about just what two things are being compared.
OG 134:
the phrase while raising provides a clear contrast with have reduced.
Over 75 percent of the energy produced in France derives from nuclear power, while in Germany it is just over 33 percent.
(A) while in Germany it is just over 33 percent
(B) compared to Germany, which uses just over 33 percent
(C) whereas nuclear power accounts for just over 33 percent of the energy produced in Germany
(D) whereas just over 33 percent of the energy comes from nuclear power in Germany
(E) compared with the energy from nuclear power in Germany, where it is just over 33 percent
| Rhetorical construction; Logical predication
This sentence compares percentages and uses the prepositional phrases in France and in Germany to distinguish the percentage of energy in each country coming from nuclear power. This information is most efficiently and clearly presented in two clauses joined by the conjunction whereas, which signifies a difference between the situations in the two countries. Each clause must identify what the percentage refers to—that is, the portion of the respective country's energy that comes from nuclear power.
A While is somewhat ambiguous, since it might indicate simultaneity rather than contrast; the referent of it is ambiguous, raising questions about just what two things are being compared.
B This sentence compares 75 percent to Germany; it is not clear what 33 percent refers to.
C Correct. The two clauses joined by whereas indicate clearly that the comparison is between the different percentages of energy coming from nuclear power.
D The use of the definite article the makes it seem as though the energy being referred to in this part of the sentence is that of France.
E This construction is wordy and unclear; the referent of it is ambiguous.
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Recently implemented "shift-work equations" based on studies of the human sleep cycle have reduced sickness, sleeping on the job, fatigue among shift workers, and have raised production efficiency in various industries.
(A) fatigue among shift workers, and have raised
(B) fatigue among shift workers, and raised
(C) and fatigue among shift workers while raising
(D) lowered fatigue among shift workers, and raised
(E) and fatigue among shift workers was lowered while raising
| Grammatical construction
Implementing the equations has reduced sickness, sleeping on the job, and fatigue; at the same time, it has increased efficiency. The three parallel elements (have reduced x, y, and z) require and before the final element.
A The omission of and before fatigue creates an unclear sentence.
B The omission of and before fatigue creates an unclear sentence.
C Correct. The use of and in this sentence unites the three parallel elements; the phrase while raising provides a clear contrast with have reduced.
D And is required to link the parallel elements; the verb reduced applies to all three parallel elements, so inserting lowered before fatigue illogically suggests that fatigue actually increased.
E The insertion of was lowered destroys the parallel structure, and thus while raising has no logical referent here.
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