帖个黄金80里的的作文,欢迎大家砸砖!

The author states in this argument that a
company’s long-term success is based on the company's employee’s job
satisfaction and the job security felt by the emploees. The author makes the
reasonable assumption that job satisfaction and the job security of the
company's employees are crucial factors of the development of the company.
However the sub text of the argument that job satisfaction and the job security
is the basis of the company may not be valid. This calls into question he
legitimacy of the argument.

It is reasonable to expect that employee’s
job satisfaction and the job security make company's employees feel safe, give
them feel of security to work in the company, stimulate the employee to work
harder, reduce the number of employees who change their jobs. These factors
make company more stable and effective. For example, in the developed
countries, such as United States and Japan, many large companies, for example,
Microsoft, Sony, provide their employees numbers of medical programs, fit
programs, and retirement plans to minimize the risk the employee might face. As
a result, the employees have less stress, work harder, thus make company more
profitable. In this respect, I agree with the argument.

However, the author's conclusion is too
vague and fails to define what a company’s long-term success is and whether the
job security is the most effective way to realize the goal of the company and
to expand the business of the company. For example, different companies have
different definitions of success. The companies in the united state define it
mostly as high profits, while many companies in the Asia regard the successful
companies as companies having high prestige and high social respect.

In addition job satisfaction and the job
security may sometimes do damage to the companies. For example the more people
feel secure the less they are creative. In the case, however, job security may
benefit the long-term success of the companies.

In sum, it is likely true that job
satisfaction and the job security of the company's employees are vital to the
development of the company. However, it is not unclear that whether they are
the most effective ways to realize the company's long-term success and maximize
the long-term profit of the company.

The author states in this argument that a company’s long-term success is based on the company's employee’s（employees’）（连续这样用所有格不好，不如把company去掉，因为前面提到过。） job satisfaction and the job security felt by the emploees（可以去掉）. The author makes the reasonable assumption that job satisfaction and the job security of the company's（可去掉） employees are crucial factors of the development of the company. However the sub text of the argument that job satisfaction and the job security is the basis of the company may not be valid. This calls into question he legitimacy of the argument.

It is reasonable to expect that employee’s job satisfaction and the job security make company's employees feel safe, give them feel of security to work in the company(这两句意思一样吧), stimulate the employee to work harder, reduce the number of employees who change their jobs. These factors make company more stable and effective. For example, in the developed countries, such as United States and Japan, many large companies, for example, Microsoft, Sony, provide their employees numbers of medical programs, fit programs, and retirement plans to minimize the risk the employee might face. As a result, the employees have less stress, work harder, thus make（making） company more profitable. In this respect, I agree with the argument.（这一段可以接着深入说，不给职员安全感就有可能使得职员跳槽以至于跑到竞争对手那里。。。）

However, the author's conclusion is too vague and fails to define what a company’s long-term success is（直接跟宾语：a company’s long-term success） and whether the job security is the most effective way to realize the goal of the company and to expand the business of the company. For example, different companies have different definitions of success. The companies in the united state define it mostly as high profits, while many companies in the Asia regard the successful companies as companies having high prestige and high social respect.（这一段感觉像argument）

In addition job satisfaction and the job security may sometimes do damage to(这种用法在SC里就是awkward) the companies. For example the more people feel secure the less they are creative. In the case, however, job security may benefit the long-term success of the companies.（这一段太单薄了，关键是这一段要说什么呢？）

In sum, it is likely true that job satisfaction and the job security of the company's employees are vital to the development of the company. However, it is not unclear that whether they are the most effective ways to realize the company's long-term success and maximize the long-term profit of the company.

全篇都是company, employee不妨换几个词：institution, corporation, business, organization和worker, staff,