偶明天就要考了，但是这是第一次作文啊，大家帮看看哪？

实在是没时间准备了，粗略的看了看前辈的模版，第一次接触AWA，刚才试着写了一篇，规定时间完成的，请大家给评价评价吧，肯定不好，但是给点建议吧！正所谓临阵磨枪不亮也光嘛！

The following appeared in a speech delivered by a member of the city council.
“Twenty years ago, only half of the students who graduated from Einstein High School went on to attend a college or university. Today, two thirds of the students who graduate from Einstein do so. Clearly, Einstein has improved its educational effectiveness over the past two decades. This improvement has occurred despite the fact that the school’s funding, when adjusted for inflation, is about the same as it was twenty years ago. Therefore, we do not need to make any substantial increase in the school’s funding at this time.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

The arguement that the increase of the rate of students who graduated from Einstein High School and then went on to attend a college or university proves the improvement of the school's educational effectiveness and then will make it unnecessary
to increase the school's funding at this year is not entirely logically convincing,since it has several mishaps:

The first mishap is that the arguement assumes that the population of the city remain  relatively unchanged,without this assumption the ratio two thirds has not to cited the increase of the real increase of amount of students from Einstein High School wo went on to attend a college or university.

The second mishap is that the arguement fail to prove that only the increase of enrollment of colleges of universities lead to a necessary improvement of educational effectiveness since there are other factors which can reflect educational effectiveness,for instance,the ratio of teacheres to students,the size of classrooms,and the equipment owned per capital,etc.

Finally,the arguement fail to state that the increased income from the increased enrollment can compensate wholely the total costs of the colleges or universities today,if the income cannot compensate the costs,even more funding is required by colleges and universities.

From all the above,this arguement is not sound enough to convince that the decrease of the rate of students who graduated from Einstein High School and then went on to attend a college or university proves the improvement of the school's educational effectiveness and then will make it unnecessary to increase the school's funding at this year,unless the author states clearer that the population of the city has not increased obviously,that the educational effectiveness can be represented by the amount of enrollment,and that the the increased income from the increased enrollment can compensate wholely the total costs of the colleges or universities today.