首先楼主花了远不止20分钟来写，还修改了几遍，但是还是没想到witer给了6分。马上要考试了还没怎么复习过作文，昨天开始准备模板，写的时候就感觉witer还是很宽松的，文中很多句子不太流畅。觉得模板好重要，一下子可以填很多词，convention什么的也靠模板了，添加论证和例子会提高写错句写别字的几率，有时候还不如用模板。
第一段还是要简单陈述对文章的理解和自己的意见，精炼文章的重大错误。其次尽量写三段，前两段写得详细点，第三段相对简单一点。最后做总结，只要一句话说自己没有被说服，然后提个建议或者说自己对这类问题的理解。 贴一下文章，看看20分钟内能简化哪些部分能最终让考试成绩成为5.5分。
The Excelsior Company's memorandum reveals a plan to promote its new brand of coffee. The company believes that it can reach its goal by a combination sale promotion of free samples, price reduction, and discount coupons. The company argues such sales promotion is feasible based on their understanding and observation of the current coffee market: the coffee is expansive and there are a lot of existing brands. Then it argues that by imitating the leading coffee company, simply doing what this company did when introduce its newest brand, the company will find a place for its new brand in this profitable market. Without a reasonable casual connection between learning the experience from Superior with a future success in Excelsior, and a thorough analysis of the key factors of Superior's successful story, the company's plan might not work as it proposes.
First, there is a gap between the current situation of the market and the final choice he company made to gain customer. The author assumes that the past success can be reproduced in now and future. The situation might have changed from the time when Superior introduced its newest brand. There is no evidence provided to illustrate the market situation at that time. What if the customers in that time thought coffee affordable due to a better economic environment? Moreover, there might be only a few brands and the market was totally open to the new competitors. Simply copy the method once got the market in the past cannot guarantee Excelsior to get the same result in the future.
Second, even though the experience of a successful company is helpful to Excelsior, it is doubtful that the company will gain the customer by sales promotion. The argument is unconvincing also because it is based on a false analogy. Failing to take into account the possible differences between The Excelsior Company and Superior, the arguer makes a hasty analogy. The Excelsior Company obviously is new to the coffee market, but Superior owned multiple coffee lines and its brand mentioned in the passage is just one of them. The sales promotion worked in Superior might due to its reputation as an experienced coffee provider, and such reputation might be what Excelsior does not have. Therefore, without providing sufficient information showing that most or even all of the conditions in the two companies is similar or the same, the author cannot convince me that the method which is efficient in Superior can also be efficient in Excelsior as well.
Thirdly, according to the passage, the sales promotion seems to be the only action that the Superior had taken to gain the customer, but the author does not provide any credible resource for this evidence, therefore makes the conclusion more vulnerable. The Excelsior may overlook the other factors helped Superior to attract the customer. Such factors as advertisement, summit event in the city, the recommendations shared on the social network may be the important factors in Superior's strategy. The argument is lack of a thorough analysis about these factors and arbitrarily selects one of them.
In conclusion, the company leaves the strategy of new brand coffee highly doubtful about whether it will be successful in gaining customer. From my perspective, finding a way suitable for oneself is as important as learning the experience from the others. A mature and wise decision depends on the insight and understanding of the past, current, and future market, rather than a simple copy from the others.
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发表于 2013-8-29 14:57:40
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