When I moved to Los Angeles for college from across the world, I knew that I had to adjust and learn a lot. Still, nothing prepared me for the ultimate lesson - mastering the Valley speak. Thanks to Hollywood and the sheer hilarity of this slang from the San Fernando Valley, this precious subset of the English language that originated in southern California is much more widely-recognized and used today.
There are some phrases, however, that are so quintessentially “Valley” that your LA friends will definitely respect your skills if you use them mid-conversation. We definitely don’t want you to sound like a newbie or, worse, a wannabe so here’s our certified Valley speak starter toolkit just for you:
1. Take a Chill Pill When someone is getting worked up over an issue and you want them to relax, don’t just use commonplace phrases like “calm down” or “take it easy”.Instead, say something more casual like “damn, take a chill pill” to let them know they need to relax.
2. Bag Your FaceIt is difficult to ask someone nicely to stop speaking, especially when they’re really annoying you. The not-so-harsh way of saying shut up is to just say “god, could you please bag your face” instead.. as long as they know you’re not being literal!
3. Bitchin’ Tired of using boring old superlatives like “awesome”, “fantastic”, and “wonderful” when you find something great because they make you sound like a middle-aged parent? Switch things up by saying something edgier like “oooh that’s bitchin’” to share your excitement. Pro tip: If you want to take it a notch higher, try adding “..to the max” at the end of your sentence to convey your passionate approval. 4. What’s Your Damage?
Never ones to sugarcoat their feelings or words, the Valley citizens tend to come on strong when they’re annoyed with a person or a situation. Rather, they attack you to your core and make you question your entire existence with probing remarks like, “Hey, what’s your damage?” Try to have tough skin and just dwell on what the problem is.
5. Talk to the Hand As a Valley native, you probably love to share your opinions, but you don’t always want to listen to what others have to say. In that instance, you could resort to something basic like “sorry, not interested,” or you could turn up the creative dial and say “you can talk to the hand” to rudely dismiss someone.
Ta-da! Welcome to the Valley!
Here are some final tips to make sure you sound 100% Valley:
A trademark of the Valley slang is that the words tend to turn quite high-pitched towards the end of sentences. Drag your finishing words like “totallyyyy”, “seriouslyyyy”, or “whateverrrr” to nail that authenticity.
Squash any awkward pauses in conversation with filler words such as “OMG”, “so like”, “ya know”, and “um” because the only thing that is worse than sounding silly is the deafening noise of silence.Don’t be afraid to improvise! The only way to be Valley is to embody the Valley attitude.
Make a word up and own it with 100% confidence because that’s how this slang caught on in the first place.
We stan a Valley King or Queen!
BTW, I recently came across a really neat video chatbot tool that I wanted to share with my fellow English learners. It helps you practice socializing in your second language and even gives you AI-generated feedback to help you improve.I tried above-mentioned phrases out a few scenarios like happy hours and coffee chats, and found it helpful. The only downside is that it currently only offers a dozen or so scenarios, but hopefully they'll add more in the future. https://www.bespokenlanguage.com/scenarios. Give it a shot and let me know what you think in the comments. Happy practicing!
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