国外网站关于Rhetorical constructure考点很好的解读：GMAT Sentence Correction: Rhetorical Constr

月凰 · 发表于 2012-4-19 19:42:28

OG里，explanation中有的有注明是考rhetorical construction，即修辞结构，我之前不明白这个到底是要考什么，上网查到这个，希望能帮助大家，特别是那些之前和我一样完全把握不到重点的孩子~
GMAT Sentence Correction: Rhetorical ConstructionBy: jordan schonig posted July 28, 2011
On the GMAT sentence corrections, the phrase ‘errors in rhetorical construction’ refers to any sentences with awkward, wordy, unclear, or redundant constructions. What makes these difficult is that, many times, these particular errors do not violate any grammatical rules. For some test-takers, though, the good news is that you can use your ear to eliminate these particular errors.
Errors in ‘rhetorical construction’ are loosely defined by the use of more words than is necessary to convey the information. This generally falls into three categories: unnecessary usage of the passive voice, wordiness, and redundancy.
1. assive vs. Active Voice
Active: My dog ate my homework.
Passive: My homework was eaten (by my dog).
The active voice presents the subject (my dog) before the object (my homework); we clearly know who or what performs the action. The passive voice, which makes the recipient of the action (the homework) the subject of the sentence, has the effect of concealing or deemphasizing the performer of the action, and so it impedes clarity. Not only does the passive voice make things less clear, but it adds unnecessary words.
Note that only transitive verbs (those that take direct objects) can be written in the passive voice. So, for example, I cannot use the verb “depart” in the passive voice (e.g. The family was departed from home).
Strategy
It’s important to learn that not all instances of the passive voice are incorrect. Take this sentence for example:
During the complicated procedure, plaque is removed from the arteries.
The above sentence uses the passive voice, but there is no reason it should be made active. The implied surgeon who performs the “removing” is not important to the sentence; rather, it is the “plaque” and its removal that is logically emphasized.
2. Wordiness
Wordiness denotes an excess of words. It is your job to pick the most concise and clear answer choice that retains all necessary information. This point cannot be emphasized enough. Somehow, many students believe that, when it comes to writing, more is better. This fallacy may have been inadvertently encouraged by minimum word counts for school essays.
Let’s check out a few examples.
1. Translations of French poetry into English demand significant rewordings of the poems because each language is so different from the other in possessing a different rhythm.
In this example, read the underlined portion, and try to summarize the meaning of the portion in your mind. If it seems a little difficult to make sense of the portion, or if you can summarize it in much fewer words, chances are there is a wordiness error. With the phrase “Because each language is so different from the other in possessing a different rhythm,” it sounds like the author is trying to say “because the languages possess different rhythms.” I just improved the clarity of the sentence by deleting eight words.
Translations of French poetry into English demand significant rewordings of the poems because the languages possess different rhythms.

Here’s a less flagrant example of wordiness:
2. Since the border controls were lax at several points, the result was that the smugglers were successfully able to move the contraband into the neighboring country.

This example demonstrates a much simpler kind of wordiness: unnecessary phrases. The phrase “the result was that” is superfluous. The construction of the sentence, beginning with “Since” and ending with an independent clause, already tells us that the second clause will reveal the “result” of the sentence. All you have to do to fix this sentence is remove the superfluous phrase:
Since the border controls were lax at several points, the smugglers were successfully able to move the contraband into the neighboring country.
3. Redundancy
Redundant phrases are those that unnecessarily repeat information. Redundancies are so common in everyday speech that it’s easy to overlook them. For example, examine the seemingly faultless sentence “I have to use the ATM machine, but I forgot my PIN number.” There are two errors of redundancy in this sentence: ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine and PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, so attaching the words “machine” and “number” to their respective acronyms constitutes a redundancy.
Let’s check out a couple simple examples of redundancy that more closely resemble the errors you’ll see on the GMAT:
Example 1: At first, I initially was afraid of flying.
Example 2: My first class begins at 11 a.m. in the morning.
In the first example, both “at first” and “initially” signify the idea of “at the beginning.” We only need one of these expressions to communicate this idea. To fix the sentence, remove one of the expressions.
In the second example, both “a.m.” and “in the morning” communicate the idea that the class begins before noon. To fix the sentence, remove one of these expressions.

mslancaster · 发表于 2012-4-20 04:29:33

谢谢分享

xiaqing07 · 发表于 2012-8-19 19:19:22

太好了！！

sophica · 发表于 2012-8-22 18:07:58

thanks for sharing~~~very helpful~

z53495532 · 发表于 2012-11-3 14:06:14

正在刷第三遍OG语法，多谢楼主了

lxsyt1314 · 发表于 2012-12-27 09:41:09

谢谢楼主分享

thouzand_ · 发表于 2014-3-20 15:17:25

Thanks for sharing!

Movy · 发表于 2017-3-17 23:03:38

Thanks! It helps a lot

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