AI035，练笔文章请指教

首次用awa完成一篇文章。 无评价。 我该怎么办， 写的过程中发现完全把魔板忘了， 大家的经验这样的得分会不会有影响

Question:

`Business relations are infected through and through with the disease of short-sighted motives. We are so concerned with immediate results and short-term goals that we fail to look beyond them.~

Assuming that the term `business relations~ can refer to the decisions and actions of any organization " for instance, a small family business, a community association, or a large international corporation " explain the extent to which you think that this criticism is valid. In your discussion of the issue, use reasons and/or examples from your own experience, your observation of others, or your reading.

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Your Answer:

Why the businees relationship always infected and damaged by the disease of short-sighted motives?The questions disturb many economists and also becomes the oringin of the thoery of corporate governence in the passing decades.  I believe this situation and complex cannnot be solved becaused it comes from human basic instinct to pursue the foreseebal returns and the business desire for profit by nature. Unless we can curb the motives for the short-term returns from the business and business persons, we can solve the problems and suceed in the end.

Business born with the objective to pursue the profitablity and every shareholder of the business just will retain earning maximumly expanded, but the business relationship needs time and patience to build infrastructure or foundation until reap the fruit lately. For example, as a industry component manufacturer, the research and deveolpment the design-in new products need repeatly discussion with customer and testing until the customer accept the product and put order. Generally it need at least one to two years even though the electronic industry developed so rapidly. Unless the company invest hugh during the period, they cannot reap the profitable results and lost competative edge in the industry and also damage the shareholder interest.

The business manager and shareholder own desire to get returns in short-time also indefinterly damage the business relationship. We can see everyday from wall-street times that the investor push harder on the returns of the listing company and the CEO can only stand out to demonstrate their big plans in next year to boost the stock price, always their returns of options proportionally related with the price. Under this circumstance, it is inavoidable that the business can only make decision  and business actions by short-term returns  and ignore any requirement of long-term investment what will benefit company in the long run.

However, we have seen some improvemnt in industry nowadays that they begin to make steps to overcome short-term desires and impetus that they build some strategy for long run in many companies through some means such as compulsory allocation of funds in R&D projects, goverment rules of mandatory investment in envoiremnt protection and some more social liabilty and employee welfare etc.

In sum, although the short-sighted motives lure us away our long term targets because the business and human natures, we can overcome and succeed in improvment of long terms goals by rules, strategies  and employee and social involvement.

首次用awa完成一篇文章。 无评价。 我该怎么办， 写的过程中发现完全把魔板忘了， 大家的经验这样的得分会不会有影响

什么意思呢？你是说你的结构和模版不一样会不会影响分数吗？

AWA好象不可以评分吧。

谢谢。因为在新东方老师讲了要长得像。 我一写起来就忘了。

另外， 如果不能评分我们怎么估计分值呀。马上就要考试了。把精力还是放在了verbal，作文写成这样不知能不能过关。

不知道rubychang 具体还有几天要考试，但是不管怎么样这个时候作文还是要看一看的。

总的来说还是很不错的说理和例证都很充分，看得出有很好的背景和功力。但是模版还是要背的。我觉得你的这篇文章应该还是同意作者的观点但是开头结尾段JJ却没有点明。剩下的就都是小问题了。建议JJ先把文章粘到WORD里面检查一下拼写和由于马虎造成的语法错误比如下面红色字体的单词。此外有几个句子不知道是不是你上机的时候没来的及改：

1 I believe this situation and complex cannnot be solved becaused it comes from human basic instinct to pursue the foreseebal returns and the business desire for profit by nature.

complex situation

2Unless we can curb the motives for the short-term returns from the business and business persons, we can solve the problems and suceed in the end.

can't

3Business born with the objective to pursue the profitablity and every shareholder of the business just will retain earning maximumly expanded, but the business relationship needs time and patience to build infrastructure or foundation until reap the fruit lately.

make sure every shareholder of the business will get maximum reward.

lately 用在这里是什么意思呢？

4For example, as a industry component manufacturer, the research and deveolpment the design-in new products need repeatly discussion with customer and testing until the customer accept the product and put order.

For example, an industrial manufacturer can be asked to discuss the research and development of the design-in new product with the customer repeatedly until the latter decides to put order.

再就是建议以后发帖注明题号。我看的还很少，今天小找了一下才知道是AI 35，恐怕有很多人和我一样哦。

期待你的好成绩！

多谢鼓励. 我只注意了把题目写上了。 由于我的写作水平很差，只有思想但表达起来却非常吃力。 现在只能期望ets能够把重点放在思想和结构上了。 尤其在拼写和语法上。我现在只能加快打字的速度， 留下时间来改错了。 5555。 再次感谢judy

不谢

思想和结构是重点，所以没关系了。加油啊！