从7.26开始的写作

heys · 发表于 2013-8-1 20:33:01

cpuuu 发表于 2013-8-1 17:19
In the lecture, the professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage. It is said in t ...

in the lecture, the professor completely refutes what is stated in the reading passage. It is said in the lecture that buzzers don't mislead the costumers感觉这么表达不是很清楚，可以直接说The professor says 或者The lecture states that. However, the writer arrests这个词能这么用吗，我不是很清楚 that buzzers have already generated a lot of probelms and caused可以说受到批评，用receive many critics这个是批评家的意思，应该用名词形式 friomfrom the public.

  First of all, the speaker thinks that buzzers are the people who have really used thisthe production. The speaker also( thinks) gives an example of the phone service he used which turns out to be(is) good. In contrast, the reading passage believes that we should know whether the promoters (are the people who )are being paid to praise. 这句感觉像模板

  Second, the speaker discusses  这个是讨论的意思，还是建议用states that the consumers would not believe allthat这里用定语从句而不是宾语从句( what) the buzzers said, on the contrary, they make their decisions on own experience, like how long the buzzers have been using this. Contradicting what is stated in the reading that the buzzers just pretend to the common individuals and may lead the consumers to adopt their endorsements less critically.

  Finally, the speakers raises arise? the issue that being a buzzer will not cause some bad effects on his or her social reationship. On the( other hand) contrary, it will open a new way to earn trust by people. This point disagrees with what(that) the buzzers incidence will (cause)make us (to )become less trustful as( a rule ) it demonstrated in the reading.

  In a summary, all above mentioned reasons of the lecture illustrate that the professor disagrees with the point

纯属个人意见，如果有不同意的地方，欢迎讨论
总的来说，文章结构完整，像是照着模板写过的，不建议照搬，因为有很多凑字数但是没有意义的话，还是丰富文章内容才是王道，听力的点都说到了，说明听力不错，有前途~
再就是语言的运用方面还有待提高，动宾搭配感觉有点不是很地道，更接近中式英文
还有长句的运用，建议看下语法书，把定语从句跟名词从句区分一下，所选择的关系代词就不会错了
写完也可以自己读读看，觉得有什么别扭的地方宁愿换成简单句，也不要错了
应该就这么多了，我能力也有限~嗯~加油吧~

cpuuu · 发表于 2013-8-7 00:02:47

多谢指教，对于独立写作，您觉得需要用模板嘛

heys · 发表于 2013-8-9 11:46:28

cpuuu 发表于 2013-8-7 00:02
多谢指教，对于独立写作，您觉得需要用模板嘛

要啊，不过也不用太过依赖模板，自己消化一下更好

cpuuu · 发表于 2013-8-11 22:40:35

能不能推荐下模板和例子的帖子？http://forum.chasedream.com/foru ... B%E5%86%99%E4%BD%9C这个怎么样？

heys · 发表于 2013-8-13 17:20:39

cpuuu 发表于 2013-8-11 22:40
能不能推荐下模板和例子的帖子？http://forum.chasedream.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=692197&highli ...

因为系统版本不高所以我看不到那个模板啦，但是我觉得你多看几种模板然后每种挑一个你喜欢的部分出来组成一个你自己的新模板比较好哦，这样痕迹就不会太重啦，你自己也更熟悉

heys · 发表于 2013-8-13 18:04:23

Independent Writing：
學校或工作Presentation 你習慣一個月前就開始準備或有idea 後才晚一點開始進行

Study life is usually full of a variety of tasks, for instance, we need to hand in our homework in time, and we need to prepare a presentation as requested, or we are repuired to do collection for a topic on time. We should manage these things in time, or we may leave a bad impression on others, even worse, we may be disqualified for graduation. Therefore it's significant to finish tasks as required. Some students like to prepare for a task in advance, while others prefer to starting after they get the idea. Personally speaking, I preper the former, actually I always prepare for the task a month earlier.

“Never put off what you can do today till tomorrow” is what my English teacher told me when I was a high school student. I remembered it and behaved according to it since then. Now I am at college, I still like prepare things in advance, for it gives me enough time to do all the necessary preparation orderly so I can complete the task perfectly. Last time my teacher asked me to do a presentation on the topic of "how do college students view Internet shopping". As soon as I got this task, I started preparing. First I made some questionnaire and handed them out to other students, after they filled in the forms, I analyzed the statistics and finally came to a conclusion. Then I started to make the PPT to show my work and wrote the presentation paper. After good preparation, the day I presented on the desk proved to be one of the most successful days in my life.

I don't like delaying because the task may not be complete in time if there is little time left. I get a friend who always starts right before the deadline, and he says the idea never strikes him so he can't start. I remember last term we had to hand in the presentation of a course, he had no inspiration so he delayed it untill the last day. Unfortunately he did't findish it because there was too little time for him to make it. Finally he failed the course.

In conclusion, I still strongly believe that doing presentation or other tasks in advance is a reasonable choice and I recommend you never put what you can do today till tomorrow.

cpuuu · 发表于 2013-8-14 11:17:03

　节约能源唯一有效的途径就是提高汽油和电力的价格。
There is a discussion about energy conservation. Some people may be right to think that the best way is to increase the price of gasoline and electricity. From my point of view, I cannot agree on that statement because under the circumstance that 21st century, technology development keeps the pace with economical situation improvement. 　　
To begin with, from the most convincing reasons from the supporters, one must be stressed is that in order to reduce the usage amount of the energy, we can take the advantage of the technology to change our high-carbon life styles. For example, computers have brought us a lot of convince. As the rapid pace of life nowadays, people seldom have spare time. Under this circumstance, it has become a general tendency that people can just stay at home and shop online. As is known to all, we can save time and energy with online shopping. Online shopping gives more options and real-time inventory of items. A mall store may have limited space to display all the trends, but an online store is only limited by the size of their imagination. As well, with strong competence, the costumers will spend the least money to buy the best things. Consequently, it is new epoch for us to embrace the light-carbon life style. Without any doubt, shopping online, a typical example of what is discussing, have indeed supported that technology really remove the barrier for energy-conserving.
　　In addition, it becomes totally unfair for government to focus only on money without caring about its services. For instance, some government services, such as the transportation in the city, are overstuffed in rush hours; some people cannot go to work on time because they do no catch the regular buses; a great number of the commuters spend too much on their way home for traffic jam. So it is obvious that the public transportation service is an essential part that strongly influences the living standards in our daily lives. If the traffic situation could be promoted, most of these commuters would choose the public transportation to go to work place in downtown and it would an essential ingredient of the modern energy-conservative society. Consequently, government should invest in improving its services, which will not only benefit citizens instantaneously but also for the environment preservation.
　　Admittedly, like one Native American proverb saying, we cannot deny that the high costs do sharp future demands. Nevertheless, such is human nature that we will choose the way we live, which meet the balance between environmental issues and personal finance situation , and it paves the way to the best solution to energy conservation.
　　From all the above we have discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that in order to reduce the usage of energy, we should change our life style by using the cutting-edge technology and also ask for government to improve its service. Therefore, there are several alternative methods to solve this problem instead of only increasing the price of gasoline and electricity.

从7.26开始的写作

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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