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根据OG AWA第一道例题写的习作,请大家不吝赐教

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发表于 2013-5-20 00:16:01 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
大家有兴趣的可以作为阅读和句子改错练习哦
先贴题目:
The following appeared as part of an annual reportsent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.
“Over time, the costs of processing godown because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become moreefficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inchprint fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-dayservice in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. Andsince Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we canexpect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thusmaximize profits.”

陋作:

In the report, the author argued that their company, Olympic Food Company, canminimize cost and thus maximize profits because of the long experience gained from its 25 years' history. To support his argument, he used an example of the dramatic reduction of color film processing cost and time over about 15 yearsbetween 1970 and 1984. For the same purpose, he also used a general principle-"Over time, the cost of processing go down because as organizations learnhow to do things better, they become more efficient.” The argument in this report, however, is not convincing for the following three reasons:

First, long experience itself cannot lead to minimizing cost. A possible pathway of reducing cost is that after the experts of the company learned knowledge of efficient frozen food processing from the long experience, they apply the knowledge to reduce costs of production. Furthermore, not only production cost,but also labor, raw material and power can influence the total cost. So in order to minimize the total cost, the CEO of this company should also control those costs.

Second, minimized cost cannot guarantee profit maximization. As we all know, cost as well as revenue can determine profit. If revenue is not maximized, profit will not be maximized. Therefore, in this report, the author should also give the stockholders a plan of how to drive the company’s revenue.

Finally,it is doubtful that the example from color film industry is applicable to frozen food industry, because the differences between the two industries outweigh the similarities. For instance, their processing technologies, products and tasks are totally different.

Thus,in order to make the report more convincing to the stockholders, the author should amend the report by fixing the above flaws.

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