I36 求改结尾觉得写的还行

Planetarium · 发表于 2013-3-2 22:17:09

Should the government fund on an unknown consequentialscience experiment? In the author’s speaking, the answer is definitely not.However, in my view, the speaker unfairly generalizes. In some areas,especially the chemistry, the consequence of elements compound with each otherwill not be discovered until our experiments ended. As a result, the arguer’sspeaking is supposed to be valued again.

I admit that investing in unknown scientificresearches is at a high risk of fail, considered the ratio of the fund and theprofit. In some areas, like the chemistry, to research the new elements beyondthe 116^th , government need to constitute a large group containedprofessors belonged to different subjects, such as physics, biology as well asthe geography. We can easily imagine what a great quantities of money andlabors spending on the subject, which seems to be unlikely to succeed.Moreover, nuclear research also confronts with the same difficulty, for theexpensive basic materials, in terms of the Ra and U235. What’s more, theresearchers may face to a danger of death due to the high radiation of the elements.The government needs to provide high salary for them, which encourages them todevote themselves in the research. It seems like that government will emphasisless fund on the unclear researches, considering about the arguments mentionedabove.

However, we all know that , with the rapid developmentof the technology, a country’s strength is judged by its modern technology.Lacking of new researches, the country may stop its steps to the influentialone. In spite of investing in failed researches, a chance to achieve the goalis more respectable. China develop rapidly during the last 30 years with theinvention of the atomic bomb in 1950s. Without the nuclear weapon, China wouldn’thave got the influential status in the world. If the government didn’t support QianXuesen and his researchers, only regarding the economic raise as the significantcase, China couldn’t have been a technological country. Before Mary Curie foundthe element Ra, nobody thought of the element blank was filled with all the elementsin the world. Poland government didn’t provide fund for the research. However, Francelooked on the potential consequence of the research and supported the couples’work. Fortunately, the research got the unbelievable discovery that wasrewarded of the Noble Prize. These countries with further vision graduallybecame stronger countries than those without.

On the other hand, drown into investing on the unclearresearches would reduce the countries’ strength. For instance, during theperiod of peaceful age, scientific experiments on new type of weapons areprepared for the war. When the war burst, the experiments seem useful. Duringthe period of war, researching on the new type of weapon seems like unsuitable.More money need to be fund on the practical weapons as well as the provider ofthe militaries. In my view, the scientific enthusiasm need to be hidden duringthat period. A wise government should know when to fund and how to invest,rather than aimless spending money.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2013-3-3 11:05:42

Should the government fund on an unknown consequentialscience experiment? In the author’s speaking, the answer is definitely not.However, in my view, the speaker unfairly generalizes. In some areas,especially the chemistry, the consequence of elements compound with each otherwill not be discovered until our experiments ended. As a result, the arguer’sspeaking is supposed to be valued again.

I admit that investing in unknown scientificresearches is at a high risk of failure, considering the ratio of the fund and（to） the profit.在例子和分论点之间最好有支撑性的语句，体现出自己的分析推理过程。论点+例子的形式过于简单。 Insome areas, like the chemistry, to research the new elements beyond the 116th,government need to constitute a large group contained professors belonged todifferent subjects, such as physics, biology as well as the geography. We caneasily imagine what a great quantities of money and labors spending on thesubject, which seems to be unlikely to succeed. Moreover, nuclear research alsoconfronts with the same difficulty, for the expensive basic materials, in termsof the Ra and U235. What’s more, the researchers may face to a danger of deathdue to the high radiation of the elements. The government needs to provide highsalary for them, which encourages them to devote themselves in the research. Itseems like that government will emphasis less fund on the unclear researches,considering about the arguments mentioned above.

However, we all know that, with the rapid development of technology, a country’sstrength is judged by its modern technology. Lacking of new researches, the country may stop its steps to the influential one.这样的观点显得有些不够具体，why？在Issue中证明观点的不是例子而是自己的论证过程。例子只是辅助下这个过程。 Inspite of investing in failed researches, a chance to achieve the goals is morerespectable. China
develops rapidly during the last 30 years with the invention of the atomic bombin 1950s. Without the nuclear weapon, China wouldn’t have got theinfluential status in the world. If the government didn’t support Qian Xuesenand his researchers, only regarding the economic raise as the significant case,Chinacouldn’t have been a technological country. Before Mary Curie found the elementRa, nobody thought of the element blank was filled with all the elements in theworld. Polandgovernment didn’t provide fund for the research. However, France lookedon the potential consequence of the research and supported the couples’ work.Fortunately, the research got the unbelievable discovery that was rewarded ofthe Noble Prize. These countries with further vision gradually became stronger countriesthan those without.
On the other hand, drown into investing onthe unclear researches would reduce the countries’ strength. For instance,during the period of peaceful age, scientific experiments on new type ofweapons are prepared for the war. When the war burst, the experiments seemuseful. During the period of war, researching on the new type of weapon seemslike unsuitable. More money needs to be fund on the practical weapons as wellas the provider of the militaries. In my view, the scientific enthusiasm needsto be hidden during that period. A wise government should know when to fund andhow to invest, rather than aimless spending money.
LZ始终仅停留在化学这一个领域，是否完全符合话题呢？另外Issue的结尾还是需要的，一个短而有力的结尾会增色不少。

I36 求改结尾觉得写的还行

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I36 求改结尾 觉得写的还行

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I36 求改结尾觉得写的还行