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morphine001 · 发表于 2013-2-21 20:52:34

托福作文求提高

morphine001 · 发表于 2013-2-21 20:56:19

There is a heated discussion on whether young people in the world are becoming eagerer and eagerer to help others. Some may think that young people are more selfish that ever before, while others state that the opposite is right. As for me, I could not agree more on the latter opinion. The reasons are as follow.

To begin with, young people now much more always resist the direct advice from the elder than those in the past.It seems that all young people could get the same instruction about how to deal with the ask for help from others when they were still children, the advice that you'd better not offer your hands when others were in trouble. But the way we treat the advices from parents are changing so much that their influence on us could gradually become weak. Gone are the days when young people do exactly what their elders told. More often than not, they regard the asking from others for help as a sign of trust, a simply motto that encourage us to offer their help. Only in a society where people love to aid others does the peace and harmony exist.

Furthermore, with the help of development of science and technology, people are becoming easier not only to seek for help but also to offer a hand. Thanks to the service provided by websites that allows people to ask for help, there seldom exists a circumstance where we may feel helpless. According to a recent survey, people in a increasing number receive the help from the web. No doubt that only in the Modern society with the internet does those who offer help for totally strangers get the opportunity to show their helpfulness. It hasn't gone too far to say that majority of those who are eager to aid others are young people.

What's more, the whole view of the society has reached to a point where people notice the importance of offering help. In the past, it is the lack of assistance from others when strangers are in emergence that causes many disasters on society, resulting in the ignorance of discriminations and crimes on others that might happen one day on bystander. The reason why people were unconcerned in the past may result from only thinking in isolation, instead in a big picture. However, as the time elapses, people gradually understand the importance of aid others in trouble. Young people now, the elite of the society, definitely will do better than ever before to defend the moral of the society just with a simple promise, a promise to help others in trouble.

All in all, the changes among young people resulted from development of society absolutely encourage more young people to help others. So based on the reasons I listed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that young people now are more likely to help others than young people in the past.

woshimind · 发表于 2013-2-22 22:05:14

-----建议

There is a heated discussion on whether young people in the world are becoming eagerer and eagerer to help others. Some may think that young people are more selfish that ever before, while others state that the opposite is right. As for me, I could not agree more on the latter opinion. The reasons are as follow.

To begin with, young people now much more always resist(refuse) the direct advice from the elder than those in the past. It seems that all young people could get the same instruction about how to deal with the ask (asking,大牛肯定是笔误！)for help from others when they were still children, the advice that you'd better not offer your hands when others were in trouble. But the way we treat the advices from parents are(is) changing so much that their influence on us could gradually become weak. Gone are the days when young people do exactly what their elders told. More often than not, they regard the asking from others for help as a sign of trust, a simply motto that encourage us to offer their help. Only in a society where people love to aid others does the peace and harmony exist.

Furthermore, with the help of development of science and technology, people are becoming easier not only to seek for help but also to offer a hand. Thanks to the service provided by websites that allows people to ask for help, there seldom exists a circumstance where we may feel helpless. According to a recent survey, people in a increasing number receive the help from the web. No doubt that only in the Modern society with the internet does those who offer help for totally strangers get the opportunity to show their helpfulness. It hasn't gone too far to say that majority of those who are eager to aid others are young people.

What's more, the whole view of the society has reached to a point where people notice the importance of offering help. In the past, it is the lack of assistance from others when strangers are in emergence that causes many disasters on society, resulting in the ignorance of discriminations and crimes on others that might happen one day on bystander. The reason why people were unconcerned in the past may result from only thinking in isolation, instead in a big picture. However, as the time elapses, people gradually understand the importance of aid others in trouble. Young people now, the elite of the society, definitely will do better than ever before to defend the moral of the society just with a simple promise, a promise to help others in trouble.

All in all, the changes among young people resulted from development of society absolutely encourage more young people to help others. So based on the reasons I listed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that young people now are more likely to help others than young people in the past.

morphine001 · 发表于 2013-2-22 22:44:27

There is a heated discussion on which is the best way to make new friends. Someone may think that joining a sports team, or participating in community activities can definitely enhance the possibility for a student to make new friends, while in my opinion the student may be easier to know others and make friends through traveling around. The reasons are as follow.

To begin with, travel with classmates could provide students a amusing opportunity to know more about their peers and to make new friends. It is wildly acknowledged that the more time you spend with your classmates, the more easily you can get new friends. It is Travel that could provide large amount of time for you and your peers. Students cannot help to share the experiences and some funny stories with each other. Sometimes in order to avoid the boringness and aloneness in a brand new environment, the friendships can form sooner than we thought.

Furthermore, making friends required us to communicate with other in the peaceful circumstance that are the best pleasure we can get from travel. With the development of the society, gone are the days when we can live without pressures from work or study. Especially faced with the harsh competitive in school, students have no extra time to spare on nothing but practice for exam or quiz all the time. Only the travel does provide them a relatively relaxing environment in which students can express their inner thought, bringing a chance to make new friends.

Just like what I have said above, the travel could be a good way for acquaintances to create friendships. Far more than that, the friendship can also be cultivated among strangers. In the world, there are too many places for person to seek the same peace and happy from nature where definitely will provide opportunity for students to find friends who may enjoy the same altitude on the live. Those who can share with the same experience on the way to the places of interest and who can spend with the time with you in outside the cities you live in are the potential friends of your regardless whether you have known them before. Travel seems to be a bridge that bring the resonance among strangers, resulted in a amusing kind of experience.

All in all, I highly recommend students to have a trip in a group or just travel alone. The conclusion can be drawn safely that the best way for students to make mew friends is traveling around.

morphine001 · 发表于 2013-2-23 20:30:02

Health is a matter of live and the quality of live, a matter that gradually get more attention than ever before. The will to maintain the health and the ability to cure diseases truly are the reasons why I think nowadays people can keep their health condition more easily than before. I will expand the argument as the following.

To begin with, as society changed dramatically since the Science Revolution, people not only create enough treasure for the industry development but also change the will among the person. In the past, old generation such as my grandparents always devoted themselves into the work regardless of their physical condition. However，gone are these day when the only focus of the life is job, because people are gradually accustomed to physical protection, a progress that deserves to get high praise. Thanks to the change of mind, will to keep health is becoming the main stream right now, which caught more attention from all level in the society.

Furthermore, if any medical technologies have not exist in the world, the will to keep health would never exert any effect on the maintaining health. Some technologies，such as X-ray scaner, used to be regarded as advanced now are so common that each hospital can equip with them. In addition to this, the theories of keeping health and curing diseases also change lots. For example, in the past, faced with the threat of cancer, every doctor tends to use surgery to solve the problem, resulting in much pain for the patients. Instead of such kind of invasive measure, doctors nowadays prefer to use some alternatives not only just to extend the patient's life, but also to enhance the quality of life. So with the development of science and technology, the power of medicine has became much more reliable than ever before.

Last but not the least, people can afford to take part into some projects to get the appropriate advices from the expects, a truly help that definitely plays essential role on maintaining people’s health. Some older people, such as my parents, always attend some health club to communicate with others who have the same wish to extend the life and enhance the quality of life.

All in all, based on the reasons listed above,I would like to draw the conclusion that keeping health is gradually becoming a easy task. Perfect healthy assure is not a privilege for rich and powerful people any more.

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-2-24 22:32:49

Health is a matter of live ~~and the quality of live~~, a matter that gradually get(receives) more attention than ever before. The will to maintain the health and the ability to cure diseases truly are the reasons why I think nowadays people can keep their health condition more easily than before. I will expand the argument as the following.

To begin with, as society changed dramatically since the Science Revolution, people not only create enough treasure for the industry development but also change the will among the person(这句话不顺啊，people change the will among the person。可以写industry development not only bring the wealth but also change the will among the people). In the past, old generation such as my grandparents always devoted themselves into the work regardless of their physical condition. However，gone are these day when the only focus of the life is job, because people are gradually accustomed to physical protection, a progress that deserves to get high praise. Thanks to the change of mind~~, will to~~ keeping health is becoming the main stream right now, which caught(失态一致主句是一般时) more attention from all level in the society.

Furthermore, if any medical technologies have not existed in the world, the will to keep health would never exert any effect on the maintaining health.（用这种句型更好。。。。would never exert。。。without。。。简练。） Some technologies，such as X-ray scaner, used to be regarded as advanced now are so common that each hospital can equip with them. In addition to this, the theories of keeping health and curing diseases also change lots（greatly）. For example, in the past, faced with the threat of cancer, every doctor tends to use surgery to solve the problem, resulting in much pain for the patients. Instead of such kind of invasive measure, doctors nowadays prefer to use some alternatives not only just to extend the patient's life, but also to enhance the quality of life. So with the development of science and technology, the power of medicine has became become much more reliable than ever before.

Last but not the least, people can afford to take part into some projects to get the appropriate advices from the expects（experts）, a truly help that definitely plays essential roles on maintaining people’s health. Some older people, such as my parents, always attend some health club to communicate with others who have the same wish to extend the life and enhance the quality of life.

All in all, based on the reasons listed above, I would like to draw the conclusion that keeping health is gradually becoming an easy taskand Perfect healthy assure is not a privilege for rich and powerful people any more.

morphine001 · 发表于 2013-2-24 22:44:40

There is a heated discussion on whether students should attend classes on the condition that they have the capacity to pass their examination. Some students may think that passing the exam is such a easy task that there is no need to waste their time to listen what the professors said in the classes. The others think the opposite may be right, because only in classroom could professors provide students an opportunity to know the whole picture of the lesson. I prefer the latter opinion as the following reasons.

To begin with, attending classes means students get themselves involved into the process of teaching, bringing them a favorable position on the future examination. There is a tendency for students that those who always attend the class will never worry about their exam and definitely get better grade than those who get used to cut classes. More often than not, the capacity to pass examination gets from the lessons in the classroom, from the lecture they learned from their teachers. We can simplify that the more classes one attend, the much easier one can pass the exam.

What's more, in modern society, the knowledge itself could not be the most valuable any more, but the way to get new knowledge earns most value at any accounts. According to a survey, the most of knowledge we learned from the university will be outdated in almost three years. So after graduation people still have many totally new knowledge to learn by working. That’s the reason why in the labor market, almost all companies pay more attention to the applicant’s potential of adapting rapid change. It is the classes that provide students to learn how to master that way. By through participating the discuss, asking and the answering the questions in the class, students gradually master the way to deal with unknown area.

Admittedly, even though attending classes may waste your time in the case where the teachers in the class are not qualified, the appropriate way to handle this situation is to ask school administration to change the teachers, not just to refuse attending classes. The same situation really happened on my class, such a so poor math teacher that every classmates cannot tolerate him. We all hold the idea that attending his class was really good way to kill ourselves. All we could do was strongly to ask school to appoint other teacher. That is what we called the appropriate strategy.

All in all, attending classes is a right on which we spent lots of money and energy, so there is no reason for any students to cut classes. No one in the world can deny the fact that attending classes is the most efficient way to get knowledge, to learn how to deal with the issue one may face in the future. That are also reasons why I hold such idea.

改变 · 发表于 2013-2-25 11:47:26

红色错误高亮精彩

There is a heated discussion on whether students should attend classes on the condition that they have the capacity to pass their examination(examinations). Some students may think that passing the exam is such a(an) easy task that there is no need to waste their time to listen what the professors said in the classes(感觉事态上有点奇怪整句都是现在改成 what the professors say 一般状态应该更好吧). The others think the opposite may be right, because only in classroom could professors provide students an opportunity（opportunities 应该是更好吧） to know the whole picture of the lesson. I prefer the latter opinion as the following reasons.

感觉第一段很好啊学习了但是有一点感觉 there be的句子有点过多。但是我也有点不知道怎么改

To begin with, attending classes means students get themselves involved into the process of teaching, bringing them a favorable position on the future examination. There is a tendency（phenomenon 更合适吧） for students that those who always attend the class will never worry about their exam（exams） and definitely get better grade than those who get used to cut classes. More often than not, the capacity to pass examination gets from the lessons in the classroom, from the lecture they(they 在这个句子中好像没有指代。。。 students) learned from their teachers. We can simplify that the more classes one attend, the much easier one can pass the exam.

What's more, in modern society, the knowledge itself could not be the most valuable any more, but the way to get new knowledge earns most value at any accounts（应该是固定用法哈。。学习了）. According to a survey, the most of knowledge we learned（应该值得是真理吧 learn） from the university will be outdated in almost three years. So after graduation people still have many(much ) totally new knowledge to learn by working(删去 by working 感觉更好中心是 still have knowledge to learn). That’s the reason why in the labor market, almost all companies pay more attention to the applicant’s potential of adapting rapid change. It is the classes that provide students to learn how to master that way(hold that potential 感觉更好有对应). By through participating the discuss, asking and the answering（answing 像是笔误） the questions in the class, students gradually master the way to deal with unknown area.

Admittedly, even though attending classes may waste your time in the case where the teachers in the class（classes） are not qualified, the appropriate way to handle this situation is to ask school administration to change the teachers, not just to refuse attending classes. The same situation really happened on my class, such a so poor math teacher that every classmates （+可数名词单数 classmate）cannot tolerate him. We all hold the idea that attending his class was really good way to kill ourselves. All we could do was strongly to ask school to appoint other teacher. That is what we called(call) the appropriate strategy.

All in all, attending classes is a right on which we spent lots of money and energy(有点没有看懂。。。上课是一个我们花费了很多的金钱和精力的一项权利？), so there is no reason for any students to cut classes. No one in the world can deny the fact that attending classes is the most efficient way to get knowledge, to learn how to deal with the issue one may face in the future. That(those) are also reasons why I hold such idea. （感觉这就是你的主体段的观点啊。。但是为什么用also 呢。。有点不明白）

写的很标准啊 5段式除了一些小的错误挺好的加油！！

为什么在word中改好了一粘贴就什么都没有了。。

mahaofei001 · 发表于 2013-2-25 22:23:52

There is a heated discussion on whether students can benefit as much from organizations or club activities as the academic studies. Some people may think that only could the academic studies exert the positive effect on the students. Instead of benefiting the students, sometimes the organization and club activities could distract students' focus on the studying. But the others hold the different ideas that activities outside class could engender at the least same advantage for students as pure academic study could. As for me, I couldn't agree more with the latter opinion for the following reasons.

To begin with, students could improve their communication, teamwork, leadership in the after-class activities, all of which will put the students into a favorable position in the future. Gone are the days when the students only focus on the grade of test. People could get more chance to develop themselves in an all-around way through participating the organizations or club activities definitely will force students to talk with strangers, to deal with the issue that never would trouble them in the class. I still remember what a shy boy was I in the high middle school. It happened that a good friend asked me to attend a club the target to improve ability to talk with others. I spent almost two years in that club, and finally I don't fell any anxious to talk with others any more.

Furthermore, some organizations in universities could provide best opportunity to get the invaluable work experience in advanced. No one can deny the fact that there is a tendency for students who emphasize the importance of internships provided by the organizations. The internships not only could enhance the probability to get the jobs in the future, but also will simplify the process of learning in the classes. Just like my friend, Lily, whose major is the account. She is always eager to attend many kinds of organizations related to her major. Now, thanks to the practice of the knowledge she studied the advanced knowledge more easier than her classmates.

Admittedly, the attent to organization or club will occupy the time that should be spent on the study, a disadvantage that many parents and teachers present to prevent or discourage student to take part in the organizations or clubs. No doubt that it is still the study that is our first priority to consider for students. More often than not, students should keep the strike balance between the academic studies and the organization or club activities. Only when students appropriately schedule the time table, and distribute their limited energy into both side does the best result they can get having graduated from the school.

All in all, based on the reasons I listed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that students can get as many benefits from activities outsides the class as they can get from their academic studies. The result is so obvious that everyone could understand the importance of the activities outside the school, bringing experience and enhancing the ability to communicate. So I strongly recommend students attend the organization or club activities.

深水猫 · 发表于 2013-2-26 10:35:05

There is a heated discussion on whether students can benefit as much from organizations or club activities as the academic studies. Some people may think that only could the academic studies exert the positive effect on the students. Instead of benefiting the students, sometimes the organization and club activities could distract students' focus on the studying.（个人觉得改称一句,比如,while sometime….studying instead of benefiting…. 比较好，不过也可能是我的个人习惯） But the others hold the different ideas that activities outside class could engender at the least same advantage for students as pure academic study could. As for me, I couldn't agree more with the latter opinion for the following reasons.

To begin with, students could improve their communication, teamwork, leadership in the after-class（extra-curricular） activities, all of which will put the students into a favorable position in the future. Gone are the days when the students only focus on the grade of test. People could get more chance to develop themselves in an all-around way through participating the organizations or club activities (that) definitely will force students to talk with strangers, to deal with the issue that never would trouble them in the class. I still remember what a shy boy was I in the high middle school. It happened that a good friend asked me to attend a club the target to improve ability to talk with others. I spent almost two years in that club, and finally I don't fell any anxious to(anxious to是渴望的意思，anxiety) talk with others any more.

Furthermore, some organizations in universities could provide best opportunity to get the invaluable work experience in advanced. No one can deny the fact that there is a tendency for students who(to,否则是残缺句) emphasize the importance of internships provided by the organizations. The internships not only could enhance the probability to get the jobs in the future, but also will（could对称一下比较好吧,我有考GMAT的后遗症） simplify the process of learning in the classes. Just like my friend, Lily, whose major is the account. She is always eager to attend many kinds of organizations related to her major. Now, thanks to the practice of the knowledge she studied the advanced knowledge ~~more~~ easier than her classmates.

Admittedly, the attent（attendance） to organization or club will occupy the time that should be spent on the study, a disadvantage that many parents and teachers present to prevent or discourage student to take part in the organizations or clubs. No doubt that it is still the study that is our first priority to consider (in priority) for students. More often than not, students should keep the strike balance between the academic studies and the organization or club activities. Only when students appropriately schedule the time table, and distribute their limited energy into both side does the best result they can get having graduated from the school.

All in all, based on the reasons I listed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that students can get as many benefits from activities outsides the class as they can get from their academic studies. The result is so obvious that everyone could understand the importance of the activities outside the school, bringing experience and enhancing the ability to communicate. So I strongly recommend students attend the organization or club activities.

写的很好啊，逻辑很清晰，也没什么语法错误，有些地方可能是我吹毛求疵了，这样的文章如果能在三十分钟内写完我觉得就非常好了。而且你举例子的方式对我很有启发，我以后也尽量不生硬的举例子了，谢啦~

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