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ISSUE 28 求喷,水平低请不要留情

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楼主
发表于 2012-11-28 00:27:01 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
28. The surest indicator of a great nation isrepresented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, butby the general welfare of its people.
Instruction:
Write a response in which you discuss theextent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain yourreasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting yourposition, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might nothold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
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The issue of whether a nation’s greatness is represented by the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists or by the general welfare of its people is quite complicated and controversial.

Many people hold the opinion that the general welfare of citizens should be the utmost concern of the government and it to a large extent represents the modernization degree of the nation. When people talk about their dream country, despite of the culture and scenery attractiveness and so forth, people take into account a lot about if the people of that nation lived a happy and worriless life. When a society does not have awell-established social welfare system e.g. medical insurance and pension system, its people will feel unsecured living there, many of them will strive to work hard in order to leave this country and immigrate to another countrywhere the life will be less tough for them. Imagine if a person sees no future in his life because of the low employment rate or uncontrollable inflation or the lack of social welfare, will he extol his nation since the Olympic game or the World Cup will be held there, the answer is an easy no. We don’t even need to mention if the release of a world-wide popular song or a new Nobel award will pose much influence on these people who can hardly make ends meet and make them be pride of their nation. It seems that good social welfare is the premise based on which people can pursue a further discovery of how great their country is.  

However, we see things from different perspectives. When people talk about other countries, they tend to take a more objective stand than when they talk about their own country. The modern media and the internet provide us with plenty of up to date news of the world. Artistic or scientific orpolitical accomplishments of a country will easily be appreciated and leave the nation a good impression to the foreign readers when they have no idea how the social security system works in that country. In other words, we naturally focus on how a country influence the world, in a good way or not, to make the judgement of if the country is great or not, before we begin to learn about its peoples’ welfare.

The discussion above illustrated that people may appear to be subjective or objective when they think about the same issue happens on different objectives. In this issue, there is no absolute conclusion that a nation’s greatness should be solely demonstrated by its artistic,scientific and political achievements but not by its fine social welfare and vice versa. We can either take both sides into account to raise our standard of “great nation” or we can have some tolerance on the imperfection to say that a nation can be called great when it fits one of the criteria, it’s up to people.
第一次写,时间很长,请各位不要留情指出硬伤
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-28 10:54:20 | 只看该作者
自己顶
板凳
发表于 2012-11-28 11:48:40 | 只看该作者
结构需要改进,看看满分作文,背几篇。
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-28 15:04:51 | 只看该作者
谢谢普度哥。
5#
发表于 2012-11-29 22:50:57 | 只看该作者
Issue是需要你对话题本身有个比较清楚的认识的,而不是到最后还是一个模糊的态度吧,而且重点是你对话题的认知。
你的语言还是不错的,多读读OG上的范文,从结构和内容上花点心思,开头中间和结尾,可以写什么,又该怎么写,多多体会,范文对你会有很大帮助,还有OG上对AW 的要求以及评分标准。
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