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第一次练习写作，严重超时，却还是只挤出500字。还请各位大神们好好指点指点！
文章如下：（题目后附上）
The relation between the need for heating oil and a recommendation of investing in an industry, which is in the related line of business, superficially seems logic. However, we have little evidence to prove that oil is the absolute solution for heating fuel, let alone increasing our supply to meet the seemingly "increased" demand.
The author provides important information that people in the mentioned region traditionally had oil as their major fuel for heating. Here, in my own comprehension though, the word "traditionally" means that they used to use oil, so what are they using now? In China, increasing people nowadays prefer air-conditioner to keep their home warm in winter. That at least gives one alternative energy-electricity-for heating, and there must be more suggestions for other fuel or energy to choose. Therefore, use of oil is not the only way to produce heat, and we can come up with more selections. As investment is considered at the later stage, we should also take the cost of fuels or other energy sources into account.
Another point about that region's temperature is unclear, either. The description as "90 days with below-normal temperatures" cannot picture a clear image of the exact condition the residents are in. The author had better define "normal", as we even do not know in what condition they need heating. In a typically cold area, as I imagine, people are used to cold weather, so that they may be able to endure a low temperature to the extent that I take as extremely abnormal. Or in an opposite situation, they use heating even for the normal temperatures, so temperatures below make no difference in their use of oil. Considering above possibilities, a further research should be taken in whether heating is in need in such condition in that region.
Moreover, the fact that population growth brings new homes being built is not reasonable. How could we take venture to build many more houses without knowing if new houses are needed? We should first analyse the reasons for population growth and then assure the structure of the growing population. What if population grows because of new born babies? As we know, babies are supposed to live with their parents, so their booming births make no change to the number of homes. What's more, if most growing population is constituted by immigrating workers, no more houses will be built, either. Since immigrating workers do not live in a community for long, they would like to rent some old apartments in most situation. Under these two circumstances, neither the assumed groups of people need new homes. Thus, no more houses coming to be means no more heating.
To create better living environments for residents is a good will, but we should decide what they really need and find a best way to meet the need. As for purchasing companies for more oil, the author should answer at least two questions. Do residents really need more heating? Is oil the only fuel for heating? |
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发表于 2012-9-8 14:02:12
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