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一家健康食品商店要在一个地方开分店，作者觉得会成功。因为1.那个地方的人都很爱健康，在那种地方我们会很profitable。2.报告和数据显示，运动鞋和服装销量一直很好，俱乐部的一些课程也都是满的。3. 这里的小孩被要求参加一个 运动项目，他们作为下一代，有很大的市场。
已经查字典改过了。。。求一些写作的建议吧。我总觉得我写作特别罗嗦。。。扯来扯去一个句子写的老长，没什么思想，没什么干货。。加之我的作文老师又是周思成，哎一个有些许浮夸的老师吧，我总想着把句子写的怎么怎么漂亮，比如压头韵啊，压尾韵啊，格式工整队长整齐神马的。。总觉得自己忽略了一些ETS本质的要求，简洁，有效，深度。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
The argument states that as a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, Nature's Way will be very successful based on the fact that the new franchise is going to be located in Plansville in which residents lead healthy lives according to some statistics from a merchant report and a health club. Also, the fitness-for-life programme among schoolchildren seems make health food a very promising industry. Nevertheless, the argument still contains several loopholes, which could strongly undermine the possibility of the success of the Nature's Way's new franchise.
First of all, by citing a merchant report and a health club's membership, the author assumes that Plainsville is an area where residents living there lead to healthy lives. However, neither the merchant report or the health club's membership is highly suspicious. For one thing, since the author does not provide any information about how and when the report was made, it is very possible that the report only includes statistics from a unique time. For example, maybe there was a school athletic meeting, which can surely boost the sales of all sorts of exercise clothing and equipments and thereby explain both the high sales and the full classes in health clubs. It is also likely that the report merely concludes statistics from those companies like Nike and Puma who owns a wonderful reputation, and their sales are always remarkable and thus cannot represent every store's situation. So, without more detailed information, the author's assumption is totally unwarranted.
Even if the report and the statistics are acceptable, they do not implicate that residents of Plainsville would shop in a health food store. From the reports, we can see that the residents enjoy exercise and maybe are willing to investigate it, however, no evidence exists that can prove a relationship between their enthusiasm for exercise will cause them to purchase health food products. Maybe, just because of their enthusiasm for exercise, they prefer to keep healthy by swimming running and etc.. Even if the residents of Plainsville tend to try some health products, maybe, to purchase and take the products they need to consult their doctors first and in order to cut the medical bills, they will quite the idea, rendering a possibility that the franchise would not be as successful as the author predicted.
Another logical fallacy the author committed is that he or she ridiculously bridges a connection between the fitness-for-life programme among schoolchildren and the success of the new franchise. While it may be true that schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers, but now we cannot expect a success due to the programme. Chances are high that the aim of the programme is to compel them to exercise more instead of purchasing health products. Further more, lacking a circumstantial information and instruction about Nature's Way's products like how the products work in the human body and whether there is any side effect. Nobody can guarantee that they are suitable and safe for children to take.
In sum, the author's expectation of the success of the new franchise is based on some plausible evidences. However, since most of the evidence and assumptions are proved unwarranted as the author cannot provide any detailed information about their products and the range of the quoted report and statistics, the argument itself is likewise untenable and unjustifiable. |
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发表于 2012-8-13 00:54:32
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