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[作文互改] 第一次写argument 3 (关于建议禁止在plaza玩滑板)求狠PIA谢谢!!

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楼主
发表于 2012-8-2 17:28:24 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

In this letter from a store owner, the owner argued that the city should prohibit skateboarding in Centre Plaza
. He held the point for the reason that the decrease of the shoppers was due to the increase of the skateboarding on the plaza and the increase amount of litter. And if the city would like to recover the economy in Centre Plaza, the governor must do what he ordered.


The letter seems to be meaningful at the first glance, but we could find some flaws in the letter, which make the letter not logical. Firstly, the shop owner argued that the decrease of the shoppers in the Centre Plaza
in directly due to the increase of the skateboarding on the plaza. However, the number of people who play skateboarding might have become large long before the phenomenon arose that the shoppers became less. What’s more, despite the truth that the shoppers became less after the number of skateboarding became bigger, we could not draw a conclusion that the decrease of shoppers is directly due to the skateboarding. The decrease may result from the bad quality of commodities in the Centre and bad treatment from the shop-keepers. And as far as I am concerned, the increase number of skateboarding will never decrease the shoppers, but will bring more shoppers for the shops in the Centre instead.


What’s more, in the letter, the shop owner held the point that the increase in the amount of litter and vandalism is also be related to the decrease of shoppers, which was caused by the skateboarding. This argument is not logical, either. First I would like to say that the litter and the vandalism may not be from the people who play skateboarding. The bad phenomenon may have been caused by the store keepers themselves. In another word, it may be the store owners themselves that destroyed the environment in the Centre Plaza
, which caused the shoppers becoming less. And even though the litter and the vandalism are caused by the skateboarding, it could not become the reason of the decrease of the shoppers in this area, and the two mentioned above may have little relationship between each other.


Moreover, despite the truth that the decrease of shoppers may have been caused by the increase number of skateboarding, there may be no need for the city to prohibit the citizens playing skateboarding in this area, because the decrease of shoppers may be only a transient phenomenon in this area. What’s more, the account that the store owner offered in the letter is the data of the past two years, and the data could not stand for the following years. Maybe the increase number of skateboarding will become the main shoppers of these stores in the following years.



In conclusion, the evidence that the store owner offered in order to persuade the governor to prohibit the skateboarding in the area is neither enough nor logical. So the owner ought to supply clear evident which reproves the clear relationship between the decrease of shoppers and the increase number of people who play skateboarding.

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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-2 17:28:53 | 只看该作者
好奇怪,字体不统一,好难看。。。:-(
板凳
发表于 2012-8-2 22:26:45 | 只看该作者
he phenomenon arose that the shoppers became less.?
and the two mentioned above may have little relationship between each other.这种表述是不够严谨的,需要specific
may not be from the people不够地道
the increase number of skateboarding?
建议写的时候在写字板或者纯文本格式(txt)写,然后粘贴到word上,修改基本的语法错误,最后粘贴到这里的时候选择“粘贴为准文本”,格式会有保留的
地板
发表于 2012-8-2 22:27:48 | 只看该作者
加油!在逻辑错误的反驳上是没什么问题的,你需要继续努力的还是加强语言表达和组织。
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-2 23:30:14 | 只看该作者
谢谢斑竹。。。!
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