issue 6 求狠拍

桌子上的梨 · 发表于 2012-7-30 20:08:18

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

It might be tempting to think about all the students in one country study the same curriculum so they may share more common sense. However, there are a lot of problems hidden in the opinion.

I agree with the opinion that in certain circumstances, same national curriculum may contribute directly to a sharing background in the whole country. What's more, the same curriculum may means same education system, same textbooks and same test standard in different areas, so it's more convinient to evaluate students from different backgrounds. Since the students all obtained the same knowledge and skills, the university can decide their syblu ,for there's no need to concern about the discrepancy . Also the students themselves may get along with each other better, because the similar history from kindergarten to high school.

However, although the same national curriculum indeed enjoy many obvious advantages, its disadvantages shouldn't be ignored and far outweigh its advantages. First, none textbook can instill all knowledge and wisdom a student need, no need to say all the students in one country .Consider the giant gap between cities and countryside of China, a majority of children in Shanghai begin to use computer at five years old, but many children in the remote countryside of Ningxia still live a miserable life and have to face the dangers of exposure and starvation. While Shanghai's children are visiting Shanghai Museum enjoying the world-class paintings, Ningxia's students may be helping their parents feeding the sheep in order to earn money to support their own study life. It’s just very difficult to reach a balance when there are so many differences in reality. More seriously, quite a few children may have unpleasant associations with study when they feel the classes are too far from their daily life. This will hamper the passion in their further study.

In addition, there is no denying the fact that teachers play an extremely important role in education, especially in the early years. Let’s go back to the example of Shanghai and Ningxia. While most teachers in Shanghai can keep pace with the updated science and technology development, there are a lot of things taught in Ningxia’s classroom are purely theoretical or even outdated. Just as one greeting expression taught in class is “How are you”, which is seldom used in western countries today. If you stand on the shoulder of giant, you can stand higher and see further. It's hard to say a nation-wide text with the same questions is a fair play. Also it's conceivable that even the best education system cannot provide ample knowledge and skills to adjust every possible situation the graduate will face to. We must take into account this problem rationally and place more emphases on eliminate the unfairness. Any government that is blind to this point will pay a heavy price.

Last but not least, the genuine purpose of education is rooted not in stuffing “knowledge” or “principles for living” but rather eliciting the potential of students aimed at helping them to realize the riches within themselves. Granted that it’s important to lay a strong foundation for the achievement of academic study, education amounts to far more than platitude. Education provides wisdom, innumerable lessons for living, and useful value-clarification and perspective—all of which help us decide how to live our lives. Understanding social cues, spawning inventions and creating works of art are all crucial mental tasks that bear little relationship to how excellent a student can fill in a unified national contest.
In sum, when it comes to the same national curriculum issue, with no doubt we should be sensible enough to eliminate the false and retain the true. Only in this way can we educate our children properly and make our dramatically changing world dimensional colorful and vigorous.

提纲:
1.统一课程体系可能方便，不同的地区之间使用同样的工具、体系和标准，避免了转换的困难。当这些孩子进入大学以后，大学也更容易教学，因为他们的基础差不多，理解起来

就很容易，老师在准备教材和教学进度的时候就不会左右为难。同学们之间也有更多的共同语言。
2.但是统一课程远远弊大于利。因为很难有放之四海而皆准的教材，举例来说，中国的东西部差距极大，上海的小孩子五岁就开始用电脑了，而宁夏仍然处于农耕社会，很多小孩

子要放了学要帮家里放羊的。这样的话要用什么标准来教小孩子呢？谁来制定这个标准呢？对国家的教材进行统一是一个很大的权力，一不小心就会被教育部的怪咖滥用，全国的

小孩就会成为他们自己口味的牺牲品。
3.再者说全国中小学的师资力量和教育资源很难一致。再看上海和宁夏的例子，上海的每个学校的教室里老师都可以用PPT进行教学，而宁夏的学校甚至没有粉笔和课本，这样的差

异条件下，能要求这两个地区的考生取得同样的成绩吗？而且很多学校有其特点，如果泯灭了这些特点，可能招不到学生了，譬如音乐学院附中……
4.教育的意义并不在于教给小孩子多少知识，而是巴拉巴拉。（罐子）
5.综上所述

求问:
1.本篇写法算不算体现了complexity？
2. Although能紧接着however用吗？
3. 这种结尾是不是垃圾中的垃圾？有什么比较好的结尾方式吗？或者有什么比较好的开头方式吗？这样我可以把开头那句话改一改放在结尾……

为什么第二篇issue写起来比第一篇还要痛苦？我现在严重的有一种壮士的心情……写的都这么痛苦，改的人可能更痛苦，thus，soooooooooooooooooooooo many thanks for revising my horrible article!

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-7-31 10:22:13

开头：It might be tempting to think about all the students in one country study the same curriculum so they may share more common sense. However, there are a lot of problems hidden in the opinion.

结尾：In sum, when it comes to the same national curriculum issue, with no doubt we should be sensible enough to eliminate the false and retain the true. Only in this way can we educate our children properly and make our dramatically changing world dimensional colorful and vigorous.

我见过最简单的开头结尾，这样随便写会吃亏。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-7-31 16:25:43

这个题目还是属于建议类的题目，第一段可以适当分析下它的目的等，再给出自己的结论，建议好不好，可行性怎么样？会有什么负面效果？等，这样你的整篇文章主题在首段就有很好的体现。
另外你需要加强语言的组织和锤炼，中间每一段字数太多了。你的思路是很不错的。

桌子上的梨 · 发表于 2012-8-2 18:30:30

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Education, since long ago, has been advocated as a long-term and profound influential factor in nation's development, in terms of economy and civilization, etc.; that is, knowledge is recognized as the cornerstone of our modern society. Thus, it’s essential to make education opportunity equal for all the students. Based on this assumption, someone claims all the students in one country study the same curriculum so they can achieve a standardized education to ensure the equality. However, the statement fails to weigh the benefits of attaining the goal against the costs, or harm, that might accrue along the way.

I agree with the opinion that in certain circumstances, same national curriculum may contribute directly to a sharing background in the whole country. The same curriculum means same education system and standard in different areas, so it's more convenient to select students who achieved same accomplishments to certain university from various regions and schools. Also the students all obtained the same knowledge and skills, for there's no need to concern about the discrepancy. Furthermore, the students themselves may get along with each other better, because the similar history from kindergarten to high school.

However, although the same national curriculum indeed enjoy many obvious advantages, its disadvantages shouldn't be ignored and far outweigh its advantages. First, none curriculum can instill all knowledge and wisdom a student need, no need to say all the students in one country .Consider the giant gap between cities and countryside of China, a majority of children in Shanghai begin to use computer at five years old, but many children in the remote countryside of Ningxia still live a miserable life and have to face the dangers of exposure and starvation. While Shanghai's children are visiting Shanghai Museum enjoying the world-class paintings, Ningxia's students may be helping their parents feeding the sheep in order to earn money to support their own study life. It’s just very difficult to reach a balance when there are so many differences in reality. More seriously, quite a few children may have unpleasant associations with study when they feel the classes are too far from their daily life. This will hamper the passion in their further study.

In addition, there is no denying the fact that teachers play an extremely important role in education, especially in the early years. Let’s go back to the example of Shanghai and Ningxia. While most teachers in Shanghai can keep pace with the updated science and technology development, there are a lot of things taught in Ningxia’s classroom are purely theoretical or even outdated. Just as one greeting expression taught in class is “How are you”, which is seldom used in western countries today. If you stand on the shoulder of giant, you can stand higher and see further. It's hard to say a nation-wide test with the same questions is a fair play.

What is more, it is unconscionable to relegate normative decisions as to which knowledge and cultural traditions are more deserving, valuable or pragmatic to a few regislators, whose notions about culture might be misguided or unrepresentative of those of the general populace. To be specific, in some minority intensive distributed area such as Tibet and Xinjiang, the students should take some courses on their own culture and religion, which add to the maintenance of nation culture and custom. It's hard to image those who know nothing about these regions can make a proper decision about what the students should learn. We must take into account this problem rationally and place more emphases on eliminate the unfairness.

Last but not least, the genuine purpose of education is rooted not in stuffing “knowledge” or “principles for living” but rather eliciting the potential of students aimed at helping them to realize the riches within themselves. Granted that it’s important to lay a strong foundation for the achievement of academic study, education amounts to far more than platitude. Education provides wisdom, innumerable lessons for living, and useful value-clarification and perspective—all of which help us decide how to live our lives. Understanding social cues, spawning inventions and creating works of art are all crucial mental tasks that bear little relationship to how excellent a student can fill in a unified national contest.

A satisfying curriculum，allows students to engage into interested field. Greater satisfaction is ensured, so that they would persistently devote more of themselves into their study. In sum, when it comes to the same national curriculum issue, with no doubt we should be sensible enough to eliminate the false and retain the true.

[作文互改] issue 6 求狠拍

issue 6 revised

所属分类: GRE考试

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