twe087,能上5分吗?

TWE 087, Families or friends are the most important influence on young adults?

In the daily life, people are continuously facing many questions, analysis of which will assist them to make
wise choice. One of such intriguing problems is which one is the most influential factor to young adults.(I would like to clearify between parents and friends rather than use the vague word "factor") Upon
this question, different people hold respective views due to their distinct experience and backgrounds. Some
prefer family, claiming that parents are the young adults's first and most important teachers; others choose
friends, indicating that they have common habits and interest. As far as I am concerned, both are extreme,
because young adults are not only affected by their families, but also by their friends.

good stance, but the way to lead to the theme statement sounds very far away from readers.(it is model. I am not against the model, but make sure that it can lead to the themestatement naturally)

On the one hand, as the first teacher and most reliable adviser to young adults, parents always play a key
role in the development of young men throughout their whole life. (good topic sentence) When teenagers graduated from high
school, they immediately faced some tough decisions, such as selecting the choice of university or major. Considering their
insufficient life experience and thoughts, young people do need their parents to offer valuable information
and suggestion. According to their own practical experience, parents usually assist their children to make
wise decisions which are suitable for their interest, promote their advantages and stimulate their ambition.
For example, when I grauated from high school, my parents gave me tremendous valuable information about
prospective major, university and career. I really appreciate their help so far.

good point and support

On the other hand, the importance of peer friends cannot be ignored. As we know, young adults generally
spend lots of time with their friends in studying, playing and sporting(?). In their rebellious age, teenagers
sometimes prefer immature suggestions from their friends rather than rational ones from their parents.(meaning is not clear. if teenagers already know that the suggestion is immature, I donnot think that they will adapt it) At
this point, a sincere and responsible friend is indispensable. There are countless instances, from the TV,
movies to our daily reality, that account for this point(which point?). Ben Affleck, the famous Hollywood movie star, became
popular partly dependent on his good friend, Matt Demon, who succeeded before Ben. Thanks to Matt's
recommendation, Ben steped to his  fantasctic movie career. (the positive influence can not support the immature suggestion)Instead, plenty of young people commited
crimes because of provocation of their improper firends. Therefore, friends influence young adults deeply,
partly to go better, partly to become worse.

good point, but seems a little contractive.

In sum, taking into account above mentioned reasons, which are adequate and persuasive, the conclusion
is obvious--that is, in the person's development period, especially for young adults, not only their parents,
but also their friends, affect their future remarkably.