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[作文互改] 第四篇issue,继续拍~~!!!

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楼主
发表于 2012-5-15 10:25:07 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.


提纲:
1.教育机构的鼓励是否会起作用?学生的职业选择可能不会受到学校等教育机构的影响。
学生是否一定要选择多金的职业,并不是教育机构应该承担的责任,也不符合教育机构的能力,要达到这个目标,在资金和人力上面的大量投入是必须的。相比较而言,教育机构应该做好守夜人的角色,鼓励学生发展自身兴趣。
2.兴趣是最好的老师。即使教育机构要达成鼓励多金职业选择的目标,势必无法达成预期的效果,因为无法保证每个学生对物质的需求都足够强大,从而决定他们未来的职业选择。
人是独特的存在,无论从内在还是外在来讲,人的独特性都会导致其兴趣的独特性,从而使得每个人有各种各样的兴趣需求。比如:梵高,穷其一生,但是创造了伟大的艺术作品。梵高并没有受到什么教育机构的影响,所以他的天分和努力才能有所成就。
3.社会文化发展的整体需求。社会全方位的进步,要求在经济、文化、科技等各方面的人才。不是每个领域的工作都能获得丰厚的物质收入,但这并不意味着可以缺少对其中任一领域的关注,相反,任何一个领域人才的缺乏都会极大地阻碍社会发展的整体进程。比如:社会学家并不是一个可以获得丰厚物质奖励的职业,但是社会学家却起了至关重要的作用,blablabla····。

正文:
The author suggests that the educational institutions should take the responsibility of students career choosing, particularly in the field of lucrative careers. Im totally disagree with this suggestion. The reasons follow in three aspects.
Firstly, I think the author has overrated the ability of the educational institutions. It’s a huge project, which includes not only the investment of money but also a large number of workers, to encourage all the students to work on the lucrative careers. Not to mention that its almost impossible to evaluate the rate of cost and income. Even if there are more students prefer the luxurious life than before, we still couldn’t be sure that it’s the result of the educational project. It might be the outcome of other factors like their own financial problems or their new interest in economical knowledge. Thus, it would be difficult for us to believe that the educational institutions could actually cause the effects like that.
Secondly, even the educational institutions have the ability to make a great impact on students career choosing, its unlikely that every student could achieve any useful suggestions from the project. As we know, interest is the best teacher to everyone. We are born as the unique creature with our unique interests, and thats what we use to identify from others. Some people like money but others might not, some people devote themselves to earn the value in economy but others might prefer mental pleasure. That means some people could achieve what they want under the influence of educational projects but others couldnt, even difficult to develop their own interests. For example, Van Gogh had lived an extremely poor live. However, his talent in art and freedom without the influence of any institution became the breeding land of the world greatest works of art.
Thirdly, my opinions are also based on the need of social development. As an organism, society need experts from all kinds of fields to keep the system alive, which includes economy, culture, art, and others. By only cultivating for the lucrative career is not enough for the society as an integer. For example, sociologist is not an occupation which could earn enough money for a luxury life. But it doesnt mean that sociologist is not important. On the contrary, the sociologists could evaluate social phenomenon through the professional angle, and conclude the cause of a certain kind of social problem. Without their guidance, the progress of social construction could be harder than ever. And the authors suggestion might cause the lake of experts in other fields, which couldnt lead to a lucrative career, like sociologist.
To sum up with, the educational institutions have their jobs to do, but do not include encouraging students to prepare for the lucrative career. Its neither rational nor reality. By encouraging students to develop their true interests and to fulfill their dreams should be the right way for education.
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沙发
发表于 2012-5-15 10:56:35 | 只看该作者
理由找的非常棒!
板凳
发表于 2012-5-15 10:58:04 | 只看该作者
The author suggests that the educational institutions should take the responsibility of students’ career choosing, particularly in the field of lucrative careers.

第一句写的不好,这里的choosing用的很不好,choose的名次形式是choice, 这里用directions更好。英文要加油!
地板
发表于 2012-5-15 20:40:41 | 只看该作者
我自己觉得,你想到的几点的确有深度,但在写进文章的时候,要注意的是不要太过于抽象或者主观了,这也是一种能力,深入浅出吧
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-16 14:20:34 | 只看该作者
写了几篇菜到家的,终于得到一点认可了,开心的咧~~加油加油!
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-16 16:24:23 | 只看该作者
soga,明白,我再试试,就是总是觉得,如果又要写的有深度,又要逻辑性很强,又不能有什么语法错误,最后还要检查一遍,每次想做到这几点都得2个小时的时间····要控制到30分钟以内,是个相当艰辛的过程啊~~~
7#
发表于 2012-5-16 17:17:31 | 只看该作者
soga,明白,我再试试,就是总是觉得,如果又要写的有深度,又要逻辑性很强,又不能有什么语法错误,最后还要检查一遍,每次想做到这几点都得2个小时的时间····要控制到30分钟以内,是个相当艰辛的过程啊~~~
-- by 会员 liucy (2012/5/16 16:24:23)

对,前期就是要养成一个好的习惯,思维发散,内容组织,语言表达,训练到位了,速度会悄然上来的
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