argument77~~

山依格紫 · 发表于 2012-3-22 19:24:43

实在是不知道argument怎么提高了，感觉写了那么多天总是一个样子，语言还是那么的贫乏，希望版主可以从模板语言上提提意见~~怎么样可以使argument进步一点呀
In this argument, the mayor concludes that the best way to improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View. To support the claim the mayor points out that the tourism and tax revenue have a boom in the Ocean View after the buliding of the new golf course and resort hotel. However, I find the argument suspicious on several grounds based on unwarranted assumptions.

One, the mayor unfairly assumes that it is the building of the new golf course and resort hotel in the Ocean View that contributes the boom of the tourism and tax revenue. It is possible that other factors contribute to the improvement of the tourism and tax revenue. For instance, the government of the Ocean View increased the advertisement investment of the local places of interest, thus, an increasing more people came there for the reputation of the good view. In addition, it is also possible that the local tourist agencies implemented some preferential policies to stimulate the tourism and encourage people to have a tour to the Ocean View by decreasing the ticket prices. All these possibilities could contribute the boom of the tax revenue and tourism. Therefore, without ruling out these possibilities, the mayor cannot convince me that the golf course and resort hotel can improve the Ocean View's economy and tourism.

Two, even if the boom of tourism and tax revenue is due to the building of the golf course and hotel, the mayor provide no clear evidence to justify the assumption that Hopewell and the Ocean View are comparable. It is entirely possible that unlike the Ocean View, Hopewell is not a good place for having a tour. Thus, there would no numerous tourists that would prefer to visit Hopewell , thus, the buliding of a resort hotel and golf course is meaningfulless. Even if people would like to visit Hopewell, it is quite possible that the geological environment is not suited to build a place for golfing. Thus, without clear and detailed information about Hopewell's tourist spots and geolocial environment , the assumption that similar measures would boom Hopewell's economy is also ill-conceived.

And finally, granted that the situations between Hopewell and the Ocean View are similar, without showing the positive and negative points of other ways, the assumption that building a golf course and resort hotel is the best way to improve the local economy is also irrational. perhaps there are also other measure could increase Hopewell's revenue much more efficiently. For example, the local government can introduce some interesting recreation facilities and implenment some policies to attract people. Only by contrasting a series of measures which might be helpful to improve Hopewell's economy can we draw the conclusion that building a golf course and hotel is the best way to improve Hoprwell's economy.
另外，不写结尾真的一点风险都没有吗？我总是指出三个错误之后根本没有时间写结尾了~~

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-3-23 10:25:09

In this argument, the mayor concludes that the best way to improve。。。

concludes should be conclusions ....

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-3-23 12:36:46

其实还好了，没结尾是可以的。你的语言也没有你说的那么烂

[argument] argument77~~

所属分类: GRE考试

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