issue 141 求拍，第二次写。。。。还是超时了

babyenoch · 发表于 2012-1-31 15:47:23

issue 141 It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to adhere to them.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

(472 words, 1 hour 8 minutes)
A belief, an idea that you accept as a factual, comes from one's own observation, experience, and reasoning, and from what one accepts from reading or listening. A person who always insists on his own beliefs may laugh at the one who sometimes compromise his beliefs since he believe it is more harmful to compromising one's own beliefs. However, I have my point slightly different from his. To better present my opinion, let me illustrate it in details.

It is no doubt that insisting on one's beliefs is very important, since behavior is important and our behavior depends on beliefs. Everything we do can be traced back to beliefs we hold about the world -- everything from brushing our teeth to our career. In some cases, we may be faced with a situation that challenge our own beliefs, such as you have been offered a job from a company which you don't like; you don't agree with your boss's opinion, but are too shy or too afraid to express your own point. When confronted with this situation, it is sometimes difficult to stick to your own beliefs. Unfortunately, the more we compromise our values, the more of a negative impact it has on our mental well-being. And, the more we compromise our values, the more we continue to do so. After a long time, you will be self-doubt. On the contrary, if we can adhere to our own beliefs, it will have positive impact on us.

We cannot insist on our beliefs blindly, however, no matter whether it is right or wrong. If our beliefs are proved to be wrong, we should give up. For example, people believed the earth was the center of the universe until Copernicus suggested the heliocentric theory. Of cause, almost all people disagreed with him except Galileo and Kepler who proved this theory with more forceful data under pressure. If they couldn't give up their own belief "the geocentric theory", maybe people still insist on the theory that "the earth is the center of the earth" now.

Certainly, we must adhere to our own beliefs if they are proved to be right. Take Kepler, the supporter of the heliocentric theory, as an example. After the heliocentric theory rose in 16th century, Kepler, a scientist from Italy, accepted this theory and spent his effort to prove that it is right. Although he was severely punished by Christian church -- burned alive, he didn't surrender from beginning to end. He stuck up for his beliefs with his life.

To sum up, from what has been discussed above, any thinking person will believe that compromising or adhering to one's own beliefs depends on the situations: if the beliefs we stick to are truths, we should try our best to adhere to them; on the contrary, we should give up them.

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-31 23:17:37

1. A belief, an idea that you accept as a factual, ---it can also be a fact that a person accepts as factual, as you prove later on.
2. sometimes compromises his beliefs since he believes it is more You should omit the more if you don't want this at the end >than to adhere to them<) harmful to compromising one's own beliefs >than to adhere to them<.
3. However, I have my >own view< point slightly different from his.
4. To better present my opinion, let me illustrate it in details (detail).
5. depends on >our< beliefs.
6. everything from brushing our teeth to our career. --- I'd kind of like to hear how you say brushing teeth can be affected.
7. situation that (which) challenge(s) our own beliefs, such as (omit, SUCH AS) >for example if< you have been
8. your own point (view).
9. After a long time, you will be >very< self-doubt(ing). On the contrary,

I liked it a lot but you know what they say "there is always room to improve". 加油！

[作文互改] issue 141 求拍，第二次写。。。。还是超时了

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