求批改作文给建议啊～！ISSUE59

belovedkid · 发表于 2011-12-1 19:16:00

TOPIC: ISSUE59- "Scientists and other researchers should focus their research on areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people."

It is no doubt that scientists and researchers are responsible for investigate things that benefit human being, however, in reality, there are hundreds of thousands kinds of fields for them choose to concentrate on. While it may be tempting to agree with the author to some extent, after an in-depth consideration focusing on the author's claim, I find it superficial and contain a vague definition of "the greatest number of people", lack of elaborate explanation. Hence, I do not agree with the author and the reasons are as follows.
Admittedly, it is most satisfying that scientists or other researchers are carrying on meaningful and beneficial researches, which may arouse a new revolution to our world and accelerate the pace of modernization sharply. Consider, for example, the scientists are working on how to gain benefit from the most part of Earth----the sea. The multiplication of automobiles has introduced a need for fuel conservation on a global scale. However, with increasing energy demands from emerging markets, we could not only depend on conservation. Therefore, solutions to this complex energy problem require the unfettered imaginations of scientists, which is discover and invent other kinds of energy to replace the fuel. As we all known, there are plenty water in the sea. Being heated, water dissolves into hydrogen and oxygen. When the sun rises and sets, the rhythm of water changes. Both the hydrogen and the tides used to generate electricity are valuable energies. Moreover, the scientists are working hard on the research of biofuel, which can created by plants, such as corn. These researches definitely benefit every human being, because we cannot live without the energy in every day life.
Nevertheless, there are some researches have dichotomous influence to human life, combining advantage and disadvantage, and both of them are nearly equally matched. For instance, the exploitation of nuclear and cloning are bringing huge profit to human being, at the same time, they are potential bomb that can destroy the whole human being. Let me remind you of the terrible catastrophes once happened in the world, the Chernobyl nuclear power plant accident and the Fukushima nuclear power station accident. Before the disasters, the power for innumerous populace is supplied by these nuclear power stations, however, when the explosion happened, millions of its citizens are affected by radiation leaks and attacked by radiation-related ailments, which not only do great harm to victims themselves but in all likelihood infect their offspring. Correspondingly, the exploitation of cloning can cause dual effects. While applying clone techniques on creating human organ that can fit individual immune system is a real boon to people who need to sustain their lives, applying clone techniques on creating human is another disaster as dangerous as the explosion of nuclear power station, totally unethical and absolutely unacceptable.
Furthermore, the author's claim includes a vague definition of "areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people." How much does the greatest number of people exactly contain? It seems ostensibly that some researches working on advancing the treatment for some diseases, like AIDS and cancers, only benefit those who attacked by these diseases. But for a long-term scheme for human being healthy lives, these researches protect us from dying of these disease and prolong our lives, contributing great achievement to whole human species. Thus, I propose the scientists and other researchers should also focus on these areas that seemingly benefit only part of human being but actually likely to benefit our all in future.
In addition, some researches does not benefit even anyone of us by now, still worth investigating, especially the typical example, exploring the space. Although exploring the space costs a huge amount of money and risks the astronauts' lives, this research let us further comprehend the outside space, enlarging our knowledge and broadening our horizon. Supposed that one day scientists predicted a planet would collided the Earth and caused a terrible aftermath matched the catastrophe of the extinction of dinosaurs, if the scientists had already found another perfect planet for human to live in, then human species were able to escape from this catastrophe, even though not all of us.
To conclude, I suggest scientists and other researchers conduct their research on any areas as long as they benefit people. As for a long-term scheme, these researches will benefit our all anyway.

gemyang · 发表于 2011-12-1 20:51:56

我也写了一篇大家帮忙改改。
Should scientists and other researchers should focus their research on areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people? In my point of view, whether the scientists and other researchers should focus on the areas that benefits to the greatest number of people or not is a case-by-case question.
It goes without saying that it is fundamental duty of the scientists and researchers to contribute to their research to all the society, of course, including the greatest number of people, it is also where the value of science and the scientists. Science appears when the active inspiring thinking promotes people to seek a better to server for them and it is doubtless the elegant responsibility of science is serving for its people. With the rapidly increasing development of science, our living standard has a enormously change , near one hundred years ago, when someone got a smallpox, nothing can he do but waiting for a death come, scientists try every endeavor to find a possible way to attack this disease that have emerged thousands of people since an ancestor time ago. This disease become past with the appearance of the immune method largely and widely applied in these kinds of diseasies. We can also take the cancer as a good example to indicate the importance of the science, even if the scientists try their best to solve as much problems as possible, it is hard for they to surpass the rate of coming of the disease. It is hardly to think without the help of science and technology. Science and the scientists are the promoter of forwarding cars in the improvement trip of human history.
The science, however, has a myriad of uncertainties and of no prediction. It is hard to say, even to the most eminent scientist, that what he or she have done or left undone but to plan to research is unequally likely beneficial to the greatest number of the mass. As an old term to say ”the science is a two-edged sword”, it is highly possible that not all the research will inevitably has a good impact on the populace. A persuasive case is easy to seek, there are several million HIV patient including the what have detected definitely and those who are still in the latency of the HIV, but to remember China is a great nation that has 1.4 billion population all the country, for this, 2 million is a small number as compare to the whole population of China. If the science field and the scientist pay no heed to the serious problem which has killed thousands of people since it first time appears since 1985 in America, there will be considerably deteriorating impact on the whole human beings, but fortunately, a large number of scientist try every means to solve this issue. To this extent, we can not concludes that the scientists should focus on the fields that do good to the mass.
In conclusion, what scientists should focus on not only the fields that contributes to the majority of the people but the areas that the minority of the masses concerns, only from this can the science and the scientists play a increasingly important role in the journey of the human history and from which itself maximaze its value.

普渡哥 · 发表于 2011-12-2 09:52:09

我觉得第一篇有点跑题。题目是：科学家和研究者要专注在那些能给最多人带来利益的领域。而不应该从有益和无益来论述。

第二个写得很精，但是还是缺乏展看。你展开一点会提高很多分。字数也偏少。

gemyang · 发表于 2011-12-2 11:14:20

请问普度哥，该怎么展开了？
我觉得这点字数够了吧，新g的，我问了很多说够了，我不知道到底够不够了，麻烦普度哥给我点建议，我不知道再怎么展开了？然后你说下我这篇就这么写的话能打多少分呢？谢谢普度哥，这是我的处女作，呵呵。

普渡哥 · 发表于 2011-12-2 11:17:44

我的英语外教跟我讲过，一般字数和分数有个模糊的正比关系。。。。是美国人跟我讲的。。

belovedkid · 发表于 2011-12-2 14:40:41

啊～我没有在讨论有益还是无益啊～只是针对它的“大多数人”和“对人类带来利益”来提出质疑，多少人算是大多数人，怎么才算有利益。。。

我提纲大致是：
不同意。

1. 研究能造福于大多数人是最好的。例如：水生成氢气能源，生物燃料，

2. 但是，有些研究在造福人类的同时，也带来危害，应如何衡量好坏。例如：核能，克隆人和器官。

3. 不是所有有意义的研究都为大多数人谋福利。例如：cancer, Aids，

4. 某些研究虽然不能直接造福大多数人，但间接造福于全人类，为人类延续，文明，发展带来benefit. 例如：试管婴儿，探索外太空生命。

真的跑题吗...?!...

[作文互改] 求批改作文给建议啊～！ISSUE59

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