A12,最后两周，求拍求建议

大剑Jade · 发表于 2011-10-11 11:12:36

Argument
新G题号：12
题目：Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
写作要求：Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

This argument is well presented but far-fetched. It lays a recommendation that the Omega University ought to terminate student evaluation of professors in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. Nevertheless, the recommendation is in effect definitely impractical due to several flaws after a close scrutiny, albeit it may appear plausible at a cursory glance.
First off, a threshold problem comes into being that the situation fifteen years ago was used by the author to compare with the situation nowadays. However, this contention is open to a number of interpretations. Besides great changes happening in this span of time, the system could also be found with a lot more weaknesses that had never been thought before. We would never know if either the professors are willing to observe the rule of this system, or the students are tired of reporting and evaluating the performance of their professors. Hence, without accounting for as well as ruling out other likely scenarios, by no means could the author contend that the system is still valuable and effective.
Moreover, even though the author might be able to provide evidence for us to deduce a solution to the problem presented above afterwards, the argument still maintains ill-conceived. Another problem could be located that the author assumes that the higher grades during these years were faked. It may be anomalous for the students to have gained 30 percent rise of grades since that time, but it’s totally possible that the students could be more competitive and they deserve the grades. Though it could be tough for students to improve themselves so quickly, but considering the difference upon appearance of this system, more talented students might be attracted by this system. Therefore, the rise of the grades might be attributed to the system, but not feasible vise versa. To corroborate his point, the author should pay a close heed to as well as cope with the representative possibilities. Only by evidence of demonstrating that the qualities of the students are the same as those before the system was executed could he bolster his recommendation.
Ultimately, even if the foregoing assumptions might turn out to be supported by ensuing evidence, a crucial problem remains that the author presumes that the reason for failure of getting jobs is the faked grades. But this doesn’t make sense since a host of factors could affect the success of students to get jobs. In this light, it’s reasonable to cast doubts upon the author’s presumption which I reject as inadequate, for the conditions between the two universities cannot be equivalent. For instance, the author omits to inform us that the situations of employment in this region, and the conditions of Alpha University. Does Alpha University has some qualities suitable for jobs whereas Omega University lacks? Has the situation of employment been in recession these years? Pursuing this line of reasoning, it proves to be the author’s responsibility to mull over his assumptions and purvey relative evidence so as to pave the way for a more tenable argument.
In retrospect, it seems precipitous for the author to jump to the conclusion based on a series of problematic premises. To dismiss the specter of implausibility, the author ought to come to grips with the flaws mentioned above: he should provide evidence pertaining to the situations fifteen years ago compared with those today, the true qualities of students, and the true reasons for the failure of the students in Omega University to get jobs. After all, feckless attempts with a fallible method could be nothing but a fool’s errand, thus only by grasping the gist of the argument could the author put forth a convincible recommendation.
613words,30min

ppguo · 发表于 2011-10-12 10:12:11

拍大剑是很有趣的事情

大剑同学是码字专家啊，30分钟就写了这么多。其它同学别有压力啊，字数不要太少就好了。
拍一点：
第二段，“We would never know if either the professors are willing to observe the rule of this system, or the students are tired of reporting and evaluating the performance of their professors.” 你是说虽然有这个evaluation system, 可能老师和学生都不care 它。这种假设是很weak的。通常大家都不会质疑题目中给出的信息的真实性，而是找出逻辑上的漏洞。所以所有的argument 的前提是，题目里提到的一切都是真的。这个题目中就有个假设是教授和学生都很认真执行survey.

大剑Jade · 发表于 2011-10-12 12:04:42

哈哈既然有趣就多拍把，你拍的太爽了，刀刀见血啊~~

呃，这个难道就是传说中的言多必失么。。本来我只是想写时间上的逻辑错误的，结果一不小心多写了，反而暴露出自己的漏洞。。嗯，以后不能再质疑跑偏了。。

ppguo · 发表于 2011-10-13 02:08:28

不过你码字的功夫的确是一流的。

大剑Jade · 发表于 2011-10-13 07:05:34

我还不行啊，我见过I700,A700的神级人物呢。。A写上了700基本没有不是6分的了。。

ppguo · 发表于 2011-10-13 11:39:08

喔喔，怪不得。那得神速打字才行啊。

大剑Jade · 发表于 2011-10-13 12:21:01

其实倒也不是，只要打字的时候不卡的话，基本都能挺多，只不过不卡不太可能啊。。

ppguo · 发表于 2011-10-16 10:42:09

还要拟提纲，没有办法一直敲的啊。

[作文] A12,最后两周，求拍求建议

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