20号考试考试！第一次写argument求各位CDER点评指导！！

pasta逐梦 · 发表于 2011-9-14 23:52:12

20号考试啦~第一次写这是本月JJ上重复最多的一篇，今天第一次写。希望各位大神可以帮我看看文章。
另外，我问了宿舍考GRE的同学。我不知道两者的作文是不是要求一样，他指导说是一句一句反驳，思路如下：therefore（题目中）首先反驳，理由blabla，然后说明即使therefore成立，thus处反驳仍然不成立，理由blabla~请问GMAT作文是不是也可以这样写呢？
希望有时间的同学能够指导一下！非常感谢！！
V1. B岛国5年前举办了一场足球赛，随后旅游的人数增加，现在某人建议要再办一个国际体育盛会，预计能带来游客数量上升和经济增长。

V2.一个岛国B 5年前开了一个足球比赛，最近三年内游客人数涨了25%。所以说为了促进更多的游客来，我们B应该举行更多的比赛。才能带了更多的游客数量和利润。

原题：The country of Bonaria held a major soccer event five years ago. Therefore, if the country continues to hold major sport events, tourism will increase rapidly in the country and thus bring benefits to the country's economy.

某个国家5年前办了场运动会，然后发现近三年旅游人数增多鸟，经济都增长了。所以有人提出为了促进经济增长，要再办个国际赛事。

提供观点：

1、错误的由时间先后推出因果关系

2、过去的成功不能保证将来，存在他因

The author of this article argues that the country of bonaria can attract more tourists and stimulate the economy by holding an international sport event. The line of reasoning is that since this country has successfully held an sport event five years ago, which brought 25% increase on the amount of travellers in recent three years, another sport event in the future will achieve the same effect. this line of reasoning is unconvincing for a couple of reasons.

In the first place, this argument is based on an oversimplified analysis of the rising tourists and boosting economy. The improvement occurs under various reasons. the author’s argument relies on the assumption that hosting a sport event will ultimately bring the grow in both the travelling and economy. however, the author provides on evidence that substantiates this asuumption.it is possible that the world economy is flourishing in recent years; if so, to hold a sport event to boost the economy might be unnecessary .conversely, it is possible that the whole world is likelt to suffer an economy recession in the near future. To the extent this is the case, hosting a sport event may have negligible countervailing effect depending on the demand for other countries’ travellers.

In the second place, holding an event will not yield profits unless the income from the sport event and the advertisement is sufficient enough to cover early days’ t huge cost from the public finance. this raises questions the author fails to address. First, is the public finance sufficient to support the early stage’s expense. second, will the sport event can attract ripe advertisers and visitors to balance the spending. third ,is a sport event can stimulate the tourism and economy in the long term. In the absence of answers to these questions, we cannot assess the author’s proposal.

In conclusion, the author provides an incomplete analysis of the problem and ,as a result, provides a questionable recommendation. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide evidence that the government is capable to hold such an event and that the event is highly effective to attract advertisers and tourists both in the short term and in the long term.

20号考试考试！第一次写argument求各位CDER点评指导！！

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