AI023 作文NN们帮忙看看呐~~要考试了好焦虑~~~~~~~

SAILINGDAY · 发表于 2011-4-17 15:08:47

AI023 should our schools teach ethical and social values?

Since a progressively competition requires more professional employees, the speaker assertthat schools should focus on teaching academic skills and set aside ethical and social values education. However while I agree that school mustadditive to foster skillful human ， moral education should never be overlooked.

Morality is an important character of a person. A person without good moralscould be detrimental to society,no matter how excellent he is for academic works. take an example ofa tragedy happened in china is a wake-up call。 A student who performance well at school and have won 13 national price kill a woman after he run her down just for escape from responsibilities. This miserable case revealed the fact that education of ethical and social values is , if no greater than ,as important as the academic skills.

Therefore ,schools , which widely considered as the cradle of the pillars for society， have the obligation and ability to help students develop good character，Thus ethical and social values education is necessary. On the one hand, And as we know that adolescent is a crucial and sensitive period for one person to establish a healthy values。 Spending most of time in school, students learn the values from their fellow classmates and teachers. Thus although academic skills are essential to students future development, a special attention to their ethical and social values formation should be paid. On the other hand, sometimes, compare to parents schools can gain more information about students so they have the ability to analysis students' statues comprehensively and then take measure accordingly such as holding a lecture about social issue .

Furthermore teaching academic skills and ethical and social values are not mutually exclusive as oil and vinegar. On the contrary, they benefits from each. Common sense shows us that people with a healthy ethical and social value tend to performance better at academic tasks. This phenomenon may be explained that positive values facility students to study studiously. And teachers can blend social issue and life's truths in their courses especially humanities courses like history and political lessons.

Admittedly, it is always easier say than done. Teaching ethical and social values to some extend distract our educator from academic skills training which may lead to less competitive education level. Nevertheless, we should not ignore the significance of morality education only because it is hard to achieve. To the contrary, efforts should be made to figure out a way to balance the two characters. Only in this way can schools cultivate ridgepoles for society.

要考试了作文还是介个样子。。想的理由都好浅显噢。。这样的行不行呐。。。大概能有几分厄~~
谁来帮忙看看呀~~~~~~~~~~~谢谢啦~~~

SAILINGDAY · 发表于 2011-4-17 18:33:59

哎。。随便说一下感觉也好啊。。是不是真的有那么不通啊。。。。。

ssxxtt27 · 发表于 2011-4-17 19:41:26

哎。。。我也焦虑。。。

SAILINGDAY · 发表于 2011-4-17 22:09:39

有没人有没人有没人~~~~~···

rooneyfang · 发表于 2011-4-26 05:17:26

If your essay were rated by a computer. you probably would get 4-5.
If your essay were rated by a person. you probably would get 3-4. combine two rating. you probably would get 4.

小唯唯 · 发表于 2011-4-26 10:38:27

我觉得挺好的啊…………例子，观点道德重要，学校学习对孩子的重要性，应该在学校学，两者可以兼得，最后实施起来不容易。我觉得挺好的啊……为什么会3-4分啊

SAILINGDAY · 发表于 2011-4-26 12:22:19

OH ...WHY OH WHY OH WHY~~~TELL~~~ME~~~~

小唯唯 · 发表于 2011-4-26 15:56:19

我也想问，我觉得应该能5吧？

rooneyfang · 发表于 2011-4-26 22:10:10

Please excuse me for my personal opinion. Don't fret about it. You are doing very well. If the person who rate your essay were in a good mood. You probably would get higher score.

My writing skill is not strong also. But I like to read. I just felt the flow of your writing is a little bit stiff. I used to practice some AI topics and asked native speaker to rate them. I was told the same thing. I made mistakes such as using a lot of big,fancy words, fitting words into a framwork.... I thought by doing so readers would be impressed by my scholarly writing. However, I was told by native speakers-MBA graduates that they are not impressed by my wording because they think people who use those words in their writing are either showy or try to cover up the weakness in their point of view. An good AI essay need to be persuasive. you convey your idea to impress other people, a natural flow would be better than a stiff templete.

I am not the rater. I personally felt this specific topic is hard to write. I had read an AI that scored 6 by a native speaker. I was dumbfounded by his concise wording. His essay is not long either.

I think 4 is good enough to get you into a B school as long as your Q & V sections reach the requirement of the school you are applying.
I was told that if a GMAT taker screwed up his essay, he may still be accepted by some B schools, but some school may require him to take a writing class.

Don't be discouraged by me. Keep on working.

SAILINGDAY · 发表于 2011-4-26 22:47:51

thank you for your advice~~~~

And after reading your comment i know what is the concise wording, i will try hard to achieve so.........

AI023 作文NN们帮忙看看呐要考试了好焦虑~~~~~

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