要避免的Essay Fatal Flaw

Essay Fatal Flaw #1: Lack of Substance

Writing about nothing tends to bore, like a trite sitcom or movie with no plot. They lack substance and so will your essay if it isn't based on:

• Substantive self-reflection.
• Use of specifics, examples, and anecdotes.
• Willingness to reveal your thought processes and feelings.

So start your writing process with self-knowledge. You don't have to search the internet or a large library. Start with your experiences and your dreams. Search your head and your heart. That is where the substance of a good personal statement is stored.

Then use anecdotes, specifics, and examples to reveal what's in your heart and show that your dreams are grounded in experience. Good examples can bring your essays to life and engage the reader.

At the same time, recognize that essays with only examples and anecdotes don't reveal your thought processes and consequently are also superficial. Make sure you balance your stories with insight and analysis.

Essay Flaw #3: Cliched Writing

Don't hide your lucid answers to essay questions behind meaningless verbiage and abused clichés. I recently read an interview with a recent MBA grad on BW. (To protect the guilty, I won't link .)

"As a new company in a new space, we need to exceed client expectations, so first and foremost I drive client projects in the health-care and telecom verticals. But my job requires an internal focus as well, and I spend a ton of time both building and updating scalable systems, from knowledge management to invoicing and payroll."

Ouch!!! I suppose this fellow is highly intelligent, and I hope he is good at what he does, but don't write as he talks. Write directly and clearly so people can understand you. Can the buzz! Perhaps a translation would be:

"As a new company entering a new market, we need to impress our clients with outstanding performance. I personally manage projects for clients in the health-care and telecom industries. But in addition to serving our clients, I am striving to build our business by ensuring that all our systems from personnel to invoicing support our growth."

Essay Flaw #4: Superficiality

When you write superficially you tend to blend into the great mass of applicants who on a superficial level are very much like you. They have the same goal. They have prepared similarly to to gain acceptance. Of course, blending in is exactly what you don't want to do.

How can you distinguish yourself? Use specifics to tell your unique story and portray yourself distinctively. As my colleague in MBA Admissions Advantage, Maxx Duffy, says, avoid "umbrella words." Umbrella words are words that have broad definitions and represent desirable qualities in the admissions process. For example "leadership." Yes you want to demonstrate leadership. But you don't want to do so by blabbing on and on about your leadership qualities. You want to provide an example that shows you in a leadership role and break down your role into sub-categories of leadership that were key to your success. For example, some components of leadership that you can focus on:

1. Listening.
2. Initiating.
3. Mentoring.
4. Teaching.
5. Persuading.
6. Organizing.
7. Establishing a goal or vision.
8. Motivating.
9. Managing.
10. Obtaining buy-in.

And this is just a sample. Not all leaders can claim these qualities and only a handful can write about the specific example you will provide. So remember:

• Avoid umbrella words.
• Use specific examples.

And banish superficiality from your application essays and personal statements.

Essay Flaw #5: Muddled Thinking

I am not sure why I made muddled thinking the last flaw. Good writing starts with good thinking and ends with lots of editing, but editing is a topic for another series. Let's stick with thinking in this tip.

One of the biggest causes of muddled thinking: Writing what you think the admissions committee wants to read as opposed to what you want them to know. In fact, most admissions committee members believe that is the most common mistake applicants make.

I am occasionally surprised by people who call me up and say they want to be a management consultant but their experience in IT supports continuing to work in IT. So they intend to apply to schools with strong general management programs and say they want to return to IT. If you are in that camp, you're not being honest with the school or yourself, and the readers may just decide that your goals don't match their program or that you don't need an MBA to achieve your goals.

Do you honestly believe that you can convince a consulting recruiter that your experience combined with your education is valuable when you can't convince the school of that proposition? If you can't convince the school, what makes you think you can convince a recruiter? The thousands of dollars you spend on your education won't impress him or her.

Before you put pen to paper or finger to keyboard, think about what you want to say clearly and critically. Your dreams are important. As I said in "Lack of Substance," examine your head and your heart. Just make sure your head is in good working order when it listens to your heart.