一篇AA,一篇AI，求拍砖

刚开始准备作文，拼死写了两篇习作，逻辑混乱，措辞简单，求大家的修改意见！

issue怎么也写不到400字，怎么办啊怎么办

The following is part of a business plan created by the management of the Megamart grocery store.

“Our total sales have increased this year by 20 percent since we added a pharmacy section to our grocery store. Clearly, the customer’s main concern is the convenience afforded by one-stop shopping. The surest way to increase our profits over the next couple of years, therefore, is to add a clothing department along with an automotive supplies and repair shop. We should also plan to continue adding new departments and services, such as a restaurant and a garden shop, in subsequent years. Being the only store in the area that offers such a range of services will give us a competitive advantage over other local stores.”

Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

In the argument, the author asserts that to increase the sales of the store in the future, a series of new departments and services will be added to the store, such as clothing department, automotive supplying and repairing, restaurant and garden shop. In addition, to support the conclusion, the author listed the achievement of this year--20 percent sales increase due to the pharmacy section added to the store. It sounds reasonable at the first glance, but there are several fallacies in the argument.

In the first place, the sales increase this year is not necessarily brought by the pharmacy section. The author did not mention when the pharmacy section is added to the store. Perhaps the pharmacy section has existed for several years. Perhaps the sales increase comes from the food supply or any other products. So we can not conclude that the sales increase this year is brought by the adding of the pharmacy section without more evidence.

In the second place, even though the 20 percent sales increase is brought by the pharmacy section, there is no evidence that adding other departments and services would bring more sales increase to the store. The products have to meet the customers' need. But no need of the customers is mentioned in the argument. Are the customers really interested in the clothing department and the restaurant? Moreover, maybe most citizens do not have gardens to take care of. It still needs more evidence to prove the real needs of the residents in the area.

Last but not least, being the only store in the area is not necessarily the advantage of the store. Probably the population of the area is very limited, so the consuming capability is not strong enough to support a one-step shopping mall. There might be a few customers of the clothes and automotives. So, building other departments could be a waste of money.

Based on the analysis above, we can conclude that adding departments and services may not be good for the store to increase the sales revenue. The argument is not convincing as it stands. To illustrate the argument, the author still need to provide more evidence (1) the sales increase this year is brought by the pharmacy section, (2) adding other departments and services would bring more sales increase to the store (3) the consuming capability of the citizen in the area is strong enough to support a one-step shopping mall.

 “As technologies and the demand for certain services change, many workers will lose their jobs. The responsibility for those people to adjust to such change should belong to the individual worker, not to government or to business.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your position with specific reasons and/or examples drawn from your reading, your observations, or your own experience.

Nowadays, technologies are developing fast and the demand for certain services changes dramatically. Many workers will lose their jobs for not owning the skills to meet their job requirements. In my opinion, the responsibility for those people to adjust to such changes should not only belong to the individual workers, but also belong to the government and business.

On one side, to begin with, the development of the technologies and changes of demand for certain services are driven by the economy. And advocators of the technology development and changes of the demand for certain services are government and business. With advanced technologies and better services, the corporations could product better products to meet the demands of the customers and make more profits. Since the corporations make more profits, they will hand on more tax to the government. So the government will also benefit from the technology development and services improvement. However, both the business and the government would get profit while the workers are losing their jobs. This is unfair for the workers who work for the corporations and provide services.

In addition, the responsibility of the workers is to work hard. How they work and what skill they should own are determined by the employers. As the technology develops and demand for certain services changes, the skills would be taught by the companies to meet the needs of the position. If the workers can not get the opportunities to learn the new technology and skills and is forced to leave the job, what is right of the workers?

On the other side, the workers should learn new technologies and skills to improve themselves proactively, such as taking some courses and reading some job related books. But the active side is hold by the government and business.

In conclusion, although technologies are developing fast and the demand for certain services changes dramatically, the workers should be provided the opportunities to learn the new technology and skills for their job instead of being resigned. The government and business are responsible to help the workers to meet the demand of the work..