马上要考试了~大家帮我看看这篇文章~2月23号换题后新题~

B10. Portrayals of violence have proven commercially successful in television programs, movies, songs, and other forms of popular entertainment. Therefore, those who create popular entertainment should continue to incorporate violence into their products.

The author’s assertion brings about the recently controversial and complex issue: Whether we should continue to involve the violence into popular entertainment? The author upholds that more violence should be contained in creating entertainment.However, I find no empirical evidence to wholly accept the author’s position,for each of these alternatives is viable in certain circumstances,and we cannot conclude generally.My view can be greatly substantiated by the following disccussion.

Admittedly,the television programs, movies,songs, and other forms of popular entertainment are indeed commercially successful with portrays of violenc.Several reasons contribute to this phenomenon. In the first place, a great deal of people who prefer to watch violence contained entertaiments find it a perfect way to relieve their pressure. What’s more,A recently scentific research has found that the violence programms can satisfy the mental need of people who want to utilize violence in real life.For example, someone may intented to beat another guy , but by watching violence programs, he image himself to be the hero who beat the bad guy in the movie and finally do the justice, after that he will find himself not so desired to beat that guy in the real world.  In that way, the potrayals of violence in entertainment can help the society to be more peaceful and become less violent.

Nevertheless, that is not to say, we should continue to incorporate violence as much as possible in our poplular entertainment. As a matter of fact, the violence evovled in entertainment has many bad influences on people’s life.First of all, many people may imitate the violent action in programs or movies. Especially some young people who can not distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. In the movie or program, the people who kill or hit others hardly get any punishment, so these young people simlpy takes the violence as a way of  show their  cool and never think of the punishment they would get. Take a recent case for example, a young girl imitated the movie’ action and hang herself for fun, and finally direct a tragedy herself.

Furthermore, the voilence in the programs give people who watch them an illusion that the world around them is saturated with violence and not peaceful. In that way, the violence program will give people a feeling of unsafety, and give unnecessary worries to their life. All evidences above fully demonstated that the violence in program has a great deal of harmful effects, and we should not creat a large number of violence evolved entertainment products without these considerations.

In conclusion, this issue is a intricated one and required a case-by-case analysis. From my perspective, we should confine the creation of violent evolved entertainment products, especially impede children from these products.Only in these way, can we strike the balance between the commercial success and healthy personal growth.

欢迎大家拍砖！

个人建议，举的例子可以在具体一些，这样更生动。

然后就是拼写了，还是有不少小错误的

谢谢rio大Ｎ～呵呵～最好具某个人的例子更好吧～

至少写得比较真实 感人肺腑的就好