一篇文章和一点观点欢迎拍砖

偶5,19考, 基本上准备套模版, 现在模版还没完全准备好.

以下是一篇做BARRON模考时候狂敲出来的作文, 请各位拍砖.

(说明, 我打算我去考的时候就追求两点, 字多, 少犯语法错误, 以这个指导思想写的下面的作文, 所以用词用句完全没有斟酌过， 大虾看起来可能比较菜了哈，576个字, 不知道我这个知道思想对不对, 请高人指点)

College years are the best times in our lives

Most of those people who have experienced the college lives may have this point of view that the college years are the best time in a person's life. Although I am now still a senior undergraduate student, I personally hold my positive opinion towards this statement.

First, during the college years, we are accompanied by our fellow students and teachers. Fellow students may be our closest friends in our daily lives in college, with whom we live together, study together, experience lives together, and achieve common goals together, from which we established our deep friendships. When I find any problems or difficulties in my life, I will instantly run into my close friends for suggestions or help, this make me release when passing through these years in college. And teachers, on the other hand, are the ideal advisors in helping us with our life and academic issues. Once a professor told me that professors or teachers in the college are having willingness of the great achievements and brilliant futures of their students; they will try to help their students to address the problems that will prevent them from being success; so the students should try to exploit the resources or opportunities available from their teachers in college, this would be a great help for them.

Second, after our gradation, we will have no such free life time as it was in the college. We have to find jobs to sustain out family and we have to work hard to get the promotion. Facing those life burdens we haven't been responsible for, we will need to suffer a period of hard time before we get accustomed to it. After we getting a job, the thing occupies most of the time in our lives is working, we need to work hard to get a good salary, to get promotion, to earn our selves better lives. However, life is not easy for any of us. Competitions, the frustrated rules which you have to follow in our society, and lack of time to relax yourself may drive you crazy. No teachers will guide you through these hard period of live any more, you have to grope it yourself, and it is more than likely there are fewer friends who can help you or give you suggestions on your personal issues like it was in the college years.

Third, those trivial things in our lives will also be a frustration, especially after your marriage. Lives become more and more complicated and not easy to follow. Looking back at those college years, what you need to worry about is simply yourself, while a lot of people can give you help and guide you to conquer those difficulties; in contrast, now you have to take care of your wife or husband, your parents, and your children, and for most of these jobs you have to do it yourself.

If I could, I prefer to stay in the college phase in my whole life, because it is the best time I have experienced so far, and I think I won't have such pleasure time in my future because of the pressure from the work, the heavy burden from both the job and family and the competition in such a fast pace society. Anyway, I will be facing my future with hope, no matter how difficult it will be, I will just make up my mind to be responsible for my relatives, my future, and our society.

楼主呀,你还差得很远呀.

1.对你能否在30分钟内打出500个单词,我很表示怀疑.

2.你的文章冗长而无味,很难让考官有兴趣读下去.

3.你犯了很多TOEFL写作的禁忌.

.....还有很多

解决方法:

介于楼主还有10来天就要考是,我的意见如下:

1.背新概念3的41课,50课;新概念4的16课,33课,34课,45课.并熟练的应用-这几课对写作的帮助很大.

2.TWE185里边的模版楼主一定要熟背几个.

3.下面是我的一些模版,楼主可以择优使用,红色部分是可以替换的

INDRODUCTION

1)

Currently, there is a growing tendency for more and more students to enter universities. From my personal perspective, the emergence of such a vogue due to the mainstream goes behind the stereotype that a student without a university education, might be a victim of adverse circumstance,  to some extent, inferior to those who have one, deprived of one of the greatest opportunities to attain a superior status. However, as far as I am concerned,…

2)

It has never been explained why a multitude of people run into raptures at a mere mention of the life in a small tiny town. However, the life in the small town is invariably failing to exert a peculiar fascination on me. City born and bred, I have always regarded that the city is where I rightly belong, (and in this, I believe, I do not stand alone)...

3)

Factory, as the outcome of industrialization revolution, which is designed basing on the conception of the maximum production at the lowest cost, in order that individuals may earn as much money as possible, obviously, is not been planned for the good of its inhabitants. Most factories in our country, have neglected the negative influence upon the state of the dwellers nearby, physiologically and mentally, completely. Consequently, I would be the last person to concur with the project to establish a factory adjacent to our neighborhood.

4)

As human potential is deemed infinite by a multitude of people, it has never been defined that how inconceivable accomplishments we can achieve. Consequently, myriads of people go behind the stereotype that they can reach their goals via incessant endeavors ultimately. It might sound inspiring, nevertheless, as we, no matter how preeminent or wise, are human, without machinery perfection and the capacity to handle everything, some of the our aspirations are beyond attainment, indubitably and inevitably, unfortunately.

Others

While acknowledging that B has its moments/advantages, I would emphasize the priority in comparing with the pros and cons presented by A. Furthermore, A could as well achieve the same quality performed by approach of B which is well recognized by public…

It might be an interesting theory for the majority/mainstream, considering many people actually B in many ways (with different methods/access/approaches). As I am concerned, the seemingly controversial/debating point is the priority issue in pros and cons in both sides.

The reasons/actual situation as a fact is, sometimes, more sophisticated/simpler than hypothesis established by the public especially without extending research/relevant experience, say,

In terms of the weakness, we might notice that… however, under this circumstance, it still comes to be a better way if we take the comparatively high ratio of benefit/cost into consideration.

Generally, the main idea of… is that… The weakness exists while the high beneficial strength could cover the lost in many ways.

Opinion

Currently, the controversial issue of... urges great attention from both public and individual. From the perspective of students/Environmentalist/Realist/Pragmatist the actual complexity of this phenomenon lies behind the case-specific fact. Personally, I have the awareness of…, nevertheless, I would agree that…

The general concept of… indicates that… (用于阐明自己的观点)

As one of the actors in this issue, A has its interests specialized in…

On the other hand, B with the need of… pays great attention to…, which might be a supportive theory/contradict with A

总结

To sum up, the problem could be identified with the end of conflict of different interests. Since people with different intention hold different ideas/perspectives/ideologies/methodologies, it might be very difficult to cover all the actors as a whole, therefore…