argument 第一篇 谢谢指教先

以下是引用gavinreal在2003-11-10 1:40:00的发言：
agrument39(孙远)

In this argument, the author concludes that a review of the baggage-handling procedures is not important to the Avia Airlines' goal of maintaining or increasing the number of the company's customers.To support the conclusion, the author points out that only 1 percent of passengers are unsatisfied with that （those，因为后面是复数名词）procedures. At first glance, the author's argument appears to us to be somewhat appealing, however, when examine the the argument closely, you will find it groudless founded. We do not have to look very far to see the invalidaty of this argument. The argument is problematic for the following reasons.

（so far so good，第一段很利落）

In the first place, the author takes for granted that the 99 percent of avia passengers who did not complain with （about）the airline's baggage-handling services can represent that all clients are satisfied（有歧义的句子，建议改为 all the clients who found the services satisfactory）. However, the author fails to take into account the fact that some passenger who are unsatisfied with the service may probably do not （天哪，这么复杂一串！may 和do都是动词呀，不能并存。may和probably意思重复，属累赘。建议改为may not）make any complaints at all although they indeed do not like the kind of services provided. As a result, it is highly possible that the real rate of unsatisfaction is much higher than the author has been acclaimed（去掉been，这里没有被动的意思）. Therefore, this argument is unwarrented without ruling （ruling out）such possibility.

In the second place, the argument commits a logic fallacy of take （taking）the absolute value as the signal real indicator （什么意思？signal 和indicator差不多一个意思，留一个就得了）for something that must be evaluated by the means of （去掉the，这是固定词组）comparative indicators. In this argument, the author fails to consider such crucial things as the number of passengers per flight and the compaint records of tht comany's competing airlines as to the service of baggage-handling.（这句话非常漂亮！）

In the third place, the imformation given in the acclaim （用词不当，acclaim是欢呼、称赞的意思。这里要用claim。前面好象也有个地方用错了，自己改过来吧）is insufficent to draw any dependable conclusion. One example of evidence is rarely sufficent to support a gengeral conclusion such as the acclaim made above. Unless the author can show that the data collectes （？？没有这个词，应该是collection）is representative of all the passengers.

In conclusion, the author fails to estanlish the claim that the （多余，删除，前面好象也有的地方在百分数前加the，没有必要，都改了吧）1 percent of passenger's unsatisfaction is unimportant to the company's development in the dynamic and high-competitive business environment. Further information has to be given to substantiate the conclusion drawn above. To gain more valuable potential customers, the management to （of）the Avia company must do their every efforts （？？every 不能修饰复数名词。还有，effort对应的动词不是do，这里改为make efforts）in support of every improvements （同样的错误）in both the customer-service qualities and their customers' satisfaction.

以下是引用gavinreal在2003-11-10 23:05:00的发言：
谢谢！我会继续努力的，多谢你的帮助和指点，耽误了你不少时间吧？真的感动！！我会把你给我改过的作文都打印出来一点一点仔细研究的，相信会有进步！你帮我改正的英语错误比我的大学和研究生的所有英语老师改的都要多，真是三人行必有我师啊！谢谢！

以下是引用gavinreal在2003-11-11 18:53:00的发言：
谢谢，我会向你学习，如果到了，我定会请你搓一顿的。：）