大家帮忙看看我的作文吧。。

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-10-16 23:34:00

本来不太好意思发上来的，心里实在没底。。。还是请大家帮忙看看吧。。。这篇大概什么水平啊。。。觉得自己用词都太简单了，唉，词汇量不够。。。题目就是说要去一个64K远的地方，问选择哪种交通工具~~~

It's a fine day today,and I'm going to travel to my uncle's home,a place where is 64 kilometers away from here.There are some different kinds of transportations I can use,such as bus,airplane,boat and train.All of them have their own advantages and disadvantages,it seems to be a hard decision I should make among them.But as for me,I will certainly choose bus to travel.This is based on the three main thoughts as follows.

First of all,64 kilometers is not a very far distance,so it’s not necessary for me to take the airplane or the train.Obviously,they are both more expensive than the bus.Although I can reach my destination much faster with them,as a student still depend on parents,I would rather choose bus to save money.This is the thought of economy.

Secondly,I will take my personal interest into account.Maybe it’s a little strange for some people,taking bus is one of my favorate things.It’s really a great joy for me.I like enjoy the different sights outside the window,while listening my favorate CD.At that time,I would think of many things without limits.Sometimes I would recall my happy memories,sometimes I would imagine my further,and sometimes I would miss someone I care.Doing all these things always make me feel peace and delighted.This is the thought of my own habit.

The third reason,however,not as important as the former ones,is my body reaction to boat.Taking boat sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable.It’s thus not a good choice for me.This is the thought of my health.

Therefore,with the three reasons above,economy,habit,and health,taking bus is my best choice.I’m sure I would have a pleasure trip with it.

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-10-16 23:34:00

264words

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-10-17 00:38:00

282words

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Some people prefer to spend most of their time alone,and others like to be with friends most of the time.As for me,I would prefer to choose the latter one,that is ,to be with my friends most of the time.My choice is based on several reasons as follows.

First of all,when I talk with my friends,I always feel happy.Especially after class or the busy study,talking with friends is the best way for me to relax.We can discuss everything we are interested in,or complain about the difficult problems in class and exchange our thoughts with each other.Sometimes when I feel down,my friends' company and encourage could make me feel much better.If I spend most of my time alone,I will feel lonely and depressed.

In the second place,spending most of the time with friends also has another
advantage.It can help me obtain many useful information that I don't have from my friends.I would also share the information I know with them.By this kind of communication,we can all know much better about the surroundings,and broaden our knowledge in this information age.

Thirdly,in the modern society, inter-personal relationship is very important for every one.Spending time with friends is the best way to expand our inter-personal relationship.From doing this,I can enhance the friendship with my friends,and when I am in dilemma,I would not feel helpless.I would also be pleased to help my friends when they have difficulties.This can make me feel my value among people.

Of course,spending most of the time alone also has some advantages,for instance,it can provide people with a quiet space to think over carefully.But in my view,due to the reasons listed above,spending most of the time with friends is much more suitable for me.

invisiblewy · 发表于 2003-10-17 14:37:00

交通工具这篇题目太无聊了，还是说说第二篇吧，我建议如下Revision，仅供参考哦：）

第一段：As for me,I would prefer to choose the latter one--->As far as I am concerned, I prefer the latter
第二段：... encourage could make me feel much better---> encouragement can make...
第三段：...we can all know much better about the surroundings,and broaden our knowledge in this information age---> we all broaden our horizon and get to know better about the world around us.
第四段：to expand our inter-personal relationship--->to build up a network (因为上面刚刚用过interpersonal relationship，换一下下啦~~)

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-10-17 14:41:00

感谢！！！^^
终于有人指点了~~~
我的作文大概在什么水平啊？。。。心虚ING。。。

invisiblewy · 发表于 2003-10-17 14:43:00

还有，thirdly那段，我感觉主题不够鲜明，你是想说develop interpersonal relationship呢？还是想说feel your value呢？读到这一段结尾的时候有点点confused

记住哦，一段只写一个point，因为ETS比较傻，写多了它会晕的，千万不要高估了ETS的理解能力，呵呵

我觉得你的文章挺好的，5分以上没问题的：）加油哦！

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-10-17 14:46:00

真的吗？？55555555感动ING~~~
本来在担心能不能有4分呢。。。

那个是想说扩展人际关系的，feel my value只是说说扩展的好处，不过自己也觉得这么写有点晕。。。呵呵~~~

usdusaj · 发表于 2003-10-17 18:05:00

俺觉得作文多用不一样的词,句式变化一下.

260 自少了一点吧.写到350 以上吧.

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-10-19 14:20:00

考完了！！作文居然是感觉最好的。。。-_-|||四分应该没问题吧！后面就。。。
anyway，特来感谢invisiblewy和usdusaj的帮助！！

invisiblewy · 发表于 2003-10-20 14:26:00

哈哈，谦虚了，看你这个感觉，minimum 5分啦~~~~

大家帮忙看看我的作文吧。。

大家帮忙看看我的作文吧。。

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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