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TWE119。想了一晚上早上总算挤出来了。请大家斧正

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楼主
发表于 2006-6-8 22:46:00 | 只看该作者

TWE119。想了一晚上早上总算挤出来了。请大家斧正


    

感觉有点罗嗦,而且写了快1个小时,主要实在不知怎么阐述。汗。。。


No one can deny that people behavior
differently when they wear different clothes. But why? As far as I am
concerned, I believe that people’s different behaviors when wearing different
clothes result from the limitation of certain kinds of clothes, the intrinsic
feelings and the extrinsic opinions.

            

For one thing, the design or function of clothes confines or permits one’s
movement. Certain kinds of cloth or uniform or costume are designed according
to the occasions where they are supposed to be worn. Without proper clothes
one’s behaviors will be limited. For instance, when you wear a set of tight
suit you can not play tennis because you might worry about breaking your nice
suits or performing not as well as wearing a set of sports suit. To an extreme
situation, a diver can not dive without a diving suit simply because his life
will be in danger without the protection of diving suits. If these examples are
accurate we can safely reach the conclusion that the limitation of different
clothes or costume influence people’s behaviors.

            

Secondly, when one wear a certain kind of clothes one’s behaviors will be
affected by his or her intrinsic feelings and also by some extrinsic opinions.
Let take children for examples. Children tend to behave themselves when they
wear a set of very elegant formal suit, such as children’s tuxedos or children’s
formal wedding wear, because they have the intrinsic feeling that they look
like adults and should not do something childish. At this time, their behavior
is influenced by their intrinsic feelings. It is quite often to witness some
guys wearing different animal costumes on streets to attract the attention of
walkers. Those who wear a costume of tiger definitely act like a tiger, roaring
and growling; those who wear costume of rabbit act like a rabbit, tamed and
cute. The way they behave is affected by what they are supposed by others. In
this situation one’s behavior is affected by extrinsic opinions.

            

Admittedly, the way people behave is also influenced by ones’ personalities and
various occasions, which in fact account for most of ones’ behaviors.
Nonetheless, the influence of different clothes on the way people behave can
not be overlooked. Sometimes, people choose their behavior according to the
limitation of clothes design, the self consciousness and the extrinsic opinions
resulting from different clothes they wearing.


沙发
发表于 2006-6-10 14:16:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用lilyljh在2006-6-8 22:46:00的发言:

 

感觉有点罗嗦,而且写了快1个小时,主要实在不知怎么阐述。汗。。。


No one can deny that people behavior 要用动词的,否则句子没谓语了
differently when they wear different clothes. But why? As far as I am
concerned, I believe that people’s different behaviors when wearing different
clothes 这个句子语法有问题,不知道那个WHEN是什么成分 
result from the limitation of certain kinds of clothes, the intrinsic
feelings and the extrinsic opinions.

   在基本语法有问题的时候,不用追求词语华丽

For one thing, the design or function of clothes confines or permits one’s
movement. Certain kinds of cloth or uniform or costume are designed according
to the occasions where they are supposed to be worn. Without proper clothes
one’s behaviors will be limited. For instance, when you wear a set of tight
suit you can not play tennis because you might worry about breaking your nice
suits 单复数 or performing not as well 这个好像也不对 as wearing a set of sports suit. To an extreme
situation, a diver can not dive without a diving suit simply because his life
will be in danger without the protection of diving suits. If these examples are
accurate we can safely reach the conclusion that the limitation of different
clothes or costume influence people’s behaviors.

   

Secondly, when one wear a 这个A肯定是多余了 certain kind of clothes one’s behaviors will be
affected by his or her intrinsic feelings and also by some extrinsic opinions.
Let take children for examples. Children tend to behave themselves when they
wear a set of very elegant formal suit, such as children’s tuxedos or children’s
formal wedding wear, because they have the intrinsic feeling that they look
like adults and should not do something childish. At this time, their behavior
is influenced by their intrinsic feelings. It is quite often to witness some
guys wearing different animal costumes on streets to attract the attention of
walkers. Those who wear a costume of tiger definitely act like a tiger, roaring
and growling; those who wear costume of rabbit act like a rabbit, tamed and
cute. The way they behave is affected by what they are supposed by others. In
this situation one’s behavior is affected by extrinsic opinions.

   

Admittedly, the way people behave is also influenced by ones’ personalities and
various occasions, which in fact account for most of ones’ behaviors.
Nonetheless, the influence of different clothes on the way people behave can
not be overlooked. Sometimes, people choose their behavior according to the
limitation of clothes design, the self consciousness and the extrinsic opinions
resulting from different clothes they wearing.


先不说阐述,说语法。我只修改了一点点,您好好看看,其他地方还有很多。

第二,没有结论段

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