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我的一篇作文,总觉得自己写的不好。请大家看看,谢谢了!

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楼主
发表于 2005-9-18 09:01:00 | 只看该作者

我的一篇作文,总觉得自己写的不好。请大家看看,谢谢了!

Topic 31: Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use specific examples to support your opinion.



Some people hold the opinion that spending the entire life in one place is superior to moving a number of times,looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Others, however,, contradict staying in the same place all life long. Personally, I would prefer the latter one because I think moving many times has more advantages.



There are numerous reasons why I choose moving, and I would explain a few of the most important ones. The main reason is that moving from place to place makes people know themselves much better, and then they can make the decision more suitable for them. Through comparison, people get to find out what they are in favor of. For example, one person takes a job and does it day after day. It is inclined that he might lose his enthusiasm and passion gradually, because every thing around him is so familiar and he can not draw inspiration in daily life. However, if he has the chance to go another place and start a completely new life, he will be stimulated by the fresh environment and retain more energy and power to work.



Another reason why I advocate the attitude of moving to different places is that people can encounter more friends of various culture , with various personalities, than just staying in the same place. Once they are in trouble, the more friends they have, the more help they might get. Therefore, they gain a large amount of experiences, which will benefit them all life long.



One very strong argument for moving a number of times is that people can go through a variety of natural scenes and places of interest. As a result, they learn a great deal knowledge than those who stay in one place all the time. And their lives will be much more colorful rather than dull and boring.



Of course, staying in one place also has advantages to some extent. People do not get the trouble of moving all the family stuffs from place to place, which is really a laborious job. And they will not suffer the pains when saying goodbye to the place they have lived for a long time, where there are a large amount of priceless memories.



But if all these factors are complicated, the advantage of moving carry more weigh than those of staying. From what has bee discussed above, I may finally draw the conclusion that moving a number of times, searching for a better job, house, community or even climate, is better.

沙发
发表于 2005-9-18 10:13:00 | 只看该作者

moving a number of times,looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate


lookin' 的前面是不是应该加一个连词?


a few of the most important ones。。。感觉这个地方很别扭。


mm可以多用一些从句来代替and...我感觉文章中的and太多了。


they learn a great(greater) deal knowledge than those who stay in one place all the time.比较级忘记了~


mm你这样写作文有些危险。我个人的建议是直接提出3个论据来论述你的观点,不要提你不支持的一方的优点。要想那样写你必须提及这些优点你支持的那一方也有,或是不会影响全局。

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-9-18 12:47:00 | 只看该作者

好的,真是非常感谢你!以后的作文,我会更加注意的!请多多指教!

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