AA124,我的第二篇[5层happyfish的时间安排]

我的第二篇,花了1小时.觉得这篇的比较好找突破点,但是还是觉得时间不够.我觉得中文写写都要半小时,我写作向来很慢,这下要死的很惨了

124．The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Carlo’s Clothing to the staff.
“Since Disc Depot, the music store on the next block, began a new radio advertising campaign last year, its business has grown dramatically, as evidenced by the large increase in foot traffic into the store. While the Disc Depot’s owners have apparently become wealthy enough to retire, profits at Carlo’s Clothing have remained stagnant for the past three years. In order to boost our sales and profits, we should thereforetch from newspaper advertising to frequent radio advertisements like those for Disc Depot.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

In this passage, the owner of Carlo's Clothing suggests that the company switch from newspaper advertising to frequent radio advertisements like those for Disc Depot to boost its sales and profits. The author bases his suggestion mainly on the presumed dramatically grown business of Disc Depot which the author believes is contributed by Disc Depot's radio advertising campaign launched last year. The augument is seriously flawed in the following respects.

Firstly, the author assumes that Disc Depot's business has grown dramatically. The only evidence the author depends on is the large increase in foot traffic into the Disc Depot store. The line of reasoning of the author is that the large inflow of people must bring a large amount of sales. However the reasoning is not convincing. It is very common that many people who come into a store will end up buying nothing from the store.It is very likely that the people are attracted to store by the appearling advertisement, but at the end, they do not buy anything because of the product's not as good as they expected. Therefore, the possibility of slow growth or even no growth on the business of Disc Depot leaves open.

Secondly, even if granted that Disc Depot's business has grown dramatically due to the radio advertising campaign, the sucess of Carlo's Clothing by adopting same advertising campain still can not be warranted. Because the similiarities of Disc Depot and Carlo's Clothing are not sufficient enough for us to base the anology on.  On the contrary,accoring to the information given, we would easily find that the two companies are very different since one is selling Disc and the other is selling clothing rather than find anything in common. Comment sense tells us radio advertise seems more suitable for Disc and newspaper advertise suits clothings better as the two products can be played or shown on the two corresponding media respectively.

Thirdly, the argument also does not provide any evidences to support the boost of profits that could be brought by the change of advertising campaign media. The possible increasing sales do not mean the profits will grow as well since whether the costs increase or not remains unknown. It is very likely the rate for radio advertising campaign is higher than that for newspaper advertising.

To sum up, the argument fails to convince the readers due to the above mentioned flaws. To strengthen it, the author should provide more information regarding the real sales increase of Disc Depot due to the radio advertising and sufficient similarities between Disc Depot and Carlo's Clothing. Moreover, the author should provide costs and earning analysis for us to assess whether the profit will be boosted or not.

以下是引用emilyjiang在2005-7-16 4:31:00的发言：

我的第二篇,花了1小时.觉得这篇的比较好找突破点,但是还是觉得时间不够.我觉得中文写写都要半小时,我写作向来很慢,这下要死的很惨了

124．The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Carlo’s Clothing to the staff.
“Since Disc Depot, the music store on the next block, began a new radio advertising campaign last year, its business has grown dramatically, as evidenced by the large increase in foot traffic into the store. While the Disc Depot’s owners have apparently become wealthy enough to retire, profits at Carlo’s Clothing have remained stagnant for the past three years. In order to boost our sales and profits, we should thereforetch from newspaper advertising to frequent radio advertisements like those for Disc Depot.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

In this passage, the owner of Carlo's Clothing suggests that the company switch from newspaper advertising to frequent radio advertisements like those for

似乎应该去掉吧？

Disc Depot to boost its sales and profits. The author bases his suggestion mainly on the presumed dramatically grown business of Disc Depot which the author believes is contributed by Disc Depot's radio advertising campaign launched last year. The augument is seriously flawed in the following respects.

Firstly, the author assumes that Disc Depot's business has grown dramatically. The only evidence the author depends on is the large increase in foot traffic into the Disc Depot store. The line of reasoning of the author is that the large inflow of people must bring a large amount of sales. However the reasoning is not convincing. It is very common that many people who come into a store will end up buying nothing from the store.It is very likely that the people are attracted to store by the appearling advertisement, but at the end, they do not buy anything because of the product's not as good as they expected. Therefore, the possibility of slow growth or even no growth on the business of Disc Depot leaves open.

Secondly, even if granted that Disc Depot's business has grown dramatically due to the radio advertising campaign, the sucess of Carlo's Clothing by adopting same advertising campain still can not be warranted. Because the similiarities of Disc Depot and Carlo's Clothing are not sufficient enough for us to base the anology on.  On the contrary,accoring to the information given, we would easily find that the two companies are very different since one is selling Disc and the other is selling clothing rather than find anything in common. Comment sense tells us radio advertise seems more suitable for Disc and newspaper advertise suits clothings better as the two products can be played or shown on the two corresponding media respectively.

Thirdly, the argument also does not provide any evidences to support the boost of profits that could be brought by the change of advertising campaign media. The possible increasing sales do not mean the profits will grow as well since whether the costs increase or not remains unknown. It is very likely the

这个用的太多了

rate for radio advertising campaign is higher than that for newspaper advertising.

To sum up, the argument fails to convince the readers due to the above mentioned flaws. To strengthen it, the author should provide more information regarding the real sales increase of Disc Depot due to the radio advertising and sufficient similarities between Disc Depot and Carlo's Clothing. Moreover, the author should provide costs and earning analysis for us to assess whether

习惯用法好象应该是benefit

the profit will be boosted or not.

呵呵写的很赞啊！结构语法用词内容逻辑都很不错哦！进步好快啊！如果是等差数列的话明天是不是10分钟就可以搞定拉呢？

期待你牛分哦！到时候来AWA讲经验哦！

谢谢 Judy的鼓励和意见.我会再努力! 只是觉得30分钟对我来说是太困难,写这篇文章的时候,我看了一下,30分钟的时候,我第二点论点还没有写完.这篇我构思的时间5分钟不到,因为这篇的论证错误比较好找,第一篇,我构思就用了快10分钟了.所以担心如果碰到比较难找突破点的,肯定是更来不及了.

还有,我觉得模版也不好总结,因为实在是题目的类别太多.

30分钟内时间的分配（我的做法，仅供参考）：

时钟剩25分钟之前：读题和构思结束，不一定要想好详细的攻击点，但结构要清楚，issue要搞清楚反对还是赞成，大负小正还是大正小负。

时钟剩17分钟之前：把第一段和最后一段的模版打上去，中间三段的开头一句打上去，这部分要根据文章类型和观点类型做一些调整。我经常是把前两个阶段合起来。先用一两分钟扫题目，然后就开始打开头段合街尾段，同时思考攻击点。汗！

时钟剩4分钟之前：把正文三段填充完毕，反驳、反驳、让步；或者反驳、反驳、反驳；我更prefer前面一种写法，显得宽容和周全。

最后三四分钟，一定要留下时间检查拼写和格式。再浏览下，在一些开始忘记加入但是确实可以插入however, therefore, moreover, in a word, otherwise, thus, nevertheless...等等连接词的地方，加入这些词，讨e-rater欢心：）

个人做法，仅供参考...我写作文这样没有超时过。

关于模版分类，emily看下本区tonyadidas的文章，他的模版总结（两个word文档下载来看）很精辟的。

我个人窃以为，aa的七宗罪前三宗就完全够用了。