[求助]TWE145 敬请修改指教

superZAP

明天下午就考了，请各位大侠给给指点指点。

145. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In nowadays modern society, advertisements occupy most media. We get in touch with advertisements in newspapers, on television, or on the radio almost everyday. What influence has advertising brought to us, consumer? Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need, while in contrary, others point out that advertisements tell us about new products that improve our lives. As far as I am concerned, I hold the view the same as the later.

First of all, advertising is a good way for the consumer to know and to compare new commodities. As I remember, when I saw a commercial post that said Panasonic have produced a type of notebook computer which battery can continuously working 9 hours without recharging, I was really excited. That was just what I wanted, because I loved to study and work in library, but usually there are no electrical outlets for me to use. From advertisement we can get to know a lot of new things. Although, perhaps, we do not want to buy them right away, it is no harm for us to know that there is such kind of new production.

Furthermore, advertising is a fair way and a widely used way for companies to compete with their rivals. Where there are competitions where there are progresses. Generally consumers are the beneficiaries in such like competitions. To make more profits, the makers have to attract the consumers, and they have to produce or invite new productions with new functions and new services. The progress in DVD recorders sold in Japan is a good case. The competitions in this market are violent for many major makers, such as SONY, Panasonic, TOSHIBA, and etc. want to extend their share in this market, and so “automatic keyword searching functions”, or “remote control functions” are adapted to their DVD recorders.

Admittedly, some advertisements exaggerate the function or effect of their productions. But in such like cases, it is not the wrong of advertising itself, but the immoral of the producer who made such unfaithful advertisement. Under an appropriate control and in the legal and fair precondition, I believe that advertising functions well in improving our lives.

brace

以下是引用superZAP在2005-2-6 21:17:00的发言：

明天下午就考了，请各位大侠给给指点指点。

145. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In nowadays modern society, advertisements occupy most media. We get in touch with advertisements in newspapers, on television, or on the radio almost everyday. What influence has advertising brought to us, consumer? Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need, while in contrary, others point out that advertisements tell us about new products that improve our lives. As far as I am concerned, I hold the view the same as the later.

First of all, advertising is a good way for the consumer to know and to compare new commodities. As I remember, when I saw a commercial post that said Panasonic have produced a type of notebook computer which battery can continuously working 9 hours without recharging, I was really excited. That was just what I wanted, because I loved to study and work in library, but usually there are no electrical outlets for me to use. From advertisement we can get to know a lot of new things. Although, perhaps, we do not want to buy them right away, it is no harm for us to know that there is such kind of new production.

Furthermore, advertising is a fair way and a widely used way for companies to compete with their rivals. Where there are competitions where there are progresses. Generally consumers are the beneficiaries in such like competitions. To make more profits, the makers have to attract the consumers, and they have to produce or invite new productions with new functions and new services. The progress in DVD recorders sold in Japan is a good case. The competitions in this market are violent for many major makers, such as SONY, Panasonic, TOSHIBA, and etc. want to extend their share in this market, and so “automatic keyword searching functions”, or “remote control functions” are adapted to their DVD recorders.

Admittedly, some advertisements exaggerate the function or effect of their productions. But in such like cases, it is not the wrong of advertising itself, but the immoral of the producer who made such unfaithful advertisement. Under an appropriate control and in the legal and fair precondition, I believe that advertising functions well in improving our lives.

It seems that there is no conclusion.

One para is missing.

Personal opinion.

Veronica_Melody

In nowadays modern society (redundant, nowadays mean modern society already) , advertisements occupy most media. We get in touch with advertisements in newspapers, on television, or (and) on the radio almost everyday (conflicting, almost doesn’t mean everyday, it’s just most of the time) . What influence has advertising brought to us, (the) consumer (consumers)? Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really (don’t necessarily to have)do not need, while in contrary, others point out that advertisements tell us about new products that (may help to )improve our lives. As far as I am concerned, I hold the view the same as the later.(restate your position)

First of all, advertising is a good way for the consumer (plural, consumesr)to know and to compare new commodities. As I remember, when I saw a commercial post that said Panasonic have (verb tense) produced a type of notebook computer which (the) battery can continuously working 9 hours without recharging, I was really excited. That was just what I wanted, because I loved to study and work in library, but usually there are no electrical outlets for me to use. From advertisement we (I, because you just shared your own experience) can get to know a lot of new things.(never use things, it shows you’re incompetent at using different vocabularies) Although, perhaps, we do not want to buy them right away, it is no harm for us to know that there is such kind of new production.

Furthermore, advertising is a fair way and a widely used way (and is widely used)for (by) companies to compete with their rivals. Where there are competitions where there are progresses. Generally, consumers are the beneficiaries (consumers may benefit) in such like competitions. To make more profits, the makers (marketers? Or producer?) have to attract the consumers, and they have to produce or invite (invent) new productions with new functions and new services. The progress in DVD recorders sold in Japan is a good case. The competitions in this market are violent (wrong word) for many major makers, such as SONY, Panasonic, TOSHIBA, and etc. want to extend their share in this market, and so “automatic keyword searching functions”, or “remote control functions” are adapted to their DVD recorders.(this sentence is way too long. Break it up into shorter ones)

Admittedly, some advertisements exaggerate the function (functions) or effect (effects) of their productions. But in such like cases,(in such cases) it is not the wrong of advertising itself, but the immoral of the producer who made such unfaithful advertisement. (unclear)Under an appropriate control and in the legal and fair precondition, I believe that advertising functions well (well?? In an appropriate way?? Is that what you wanted to say? )in improving our lives.

Veronica_Melody

it should be five paragraphs in total.

superZAP

多谢两位了. 我现在改改看

Veronica_Melody

no problem. good luck!!