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[原创]非牛人之小挫人的第一篇练习作文 大家进来帮改改啊

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楼主
发表于 2007-3-30 20:15:00 | 只看该作者

[原创]非牛人之小挫人的第一篇练习作文 大家进来帮改改啊

是题库的第一篇:人们选择上大学的原因

Among the millions of high school graduates in China, surprisingly there are hundreds of thousands of them who enter the college annually. The freshmen can be categorized into two fields: some are intended, others are blind.

The former part attends college to increase their experiences, enlarge their knowledge and widen their insights. In China the orbit of students’ life is directly across between school and home especially from primary school to high school. The regularity is becoming much clearer than before with kids rising into higher level, the education of pre-college can be attributed to elementary one and only spread of several subjects, so the accumulation of experience and specific knowledge nearly equals to blank beyond studying, even have no possibility to deepen and specialize the knowledge. After entering the college, kids finally have more opportunities to focus on one or few subjects they are interested in and get much closer to the dream. Just like the Founding Prime Minister Enlai Chou of P.R.C. determined to study in order to raise his beloved motherland, helping her escape from poverty, starvation and so forth.

Obviously, some in the first active part are to guarantee the opportunities of advancement for future job market. In such a more and more fierce competitive society, college education becoming universal education, those high school graduates with no professional skills must have lots of difficulties in finding a decent job and even would get no job.

The second part can be concluded as blind with even no personal goal or perspective: following their parents’ cherished but failed college entrance dream, entering college with the observation of their friends’ decisions and so on so forth. All because of nescience, ironically it always becomes an reason for people to do something.

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2007-3-31 12:59:00 | 只看该作者
怎么没人啊
板凳
发表于 2007-3-31 13:48:00 | 只看该作者

第一最好写5段式,我们老师说的...老外最喜欢5段 开头 1,2,3 结尾~~

第二要写题目,并且题目和正如空两行距离(老外的essay标准模式),注意题目和文章主旨一定要刚好吻合,不要一宽一窄

第三你开头结尾都太短了..开头可以适当找个引子,一般都是3句话..结尾最好再稍微扩展一下..别多了,一句就好..,ETS还是喜欢350字左右的文章

 内容我也不怎么会写..只能在结构上写点看法

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2007-3-31 17:18:00 | 只看该作者
谢谢三楼啊
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-3-31 17:21:00 | 只看该作者
啊?要写题目么?还有请问是在哪儿上的辐导班啊?那次看过一个问山版的帖子要不要写题目 回答说不要的呀?
6#
发表于 2007-3-31 23:49:00 | 只看该作者
我也记得上说不要写题目的
7#
发表于 2007-4-1 13:08:00 | 只看该作者

这是OG 5分作文范文...

题目加空两行..再写正文

上过ESL的都知道这个格式

8#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-4-1 22:24:00 | 只看该作者
怎么没什么人来给建议啊?还有ESL是什么啊?
9#
发表于 2007-4-1 23:32:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用水柔清95在2007-4-1 22:24:00的发言:
怎么没什么人来给建议啊?还有ESL是什么啊?
ESL是English as a Second Language的缩写,也就是母语非英语的学生如果要去英语语言国家留学,那么就要上相应学时的ESL课程,或者直接通过相关语言测试(比如TOEFL)。

独立写作的作文题目,ETS没有规定要写。在旧托福考试时,TWE作文考试也是不用写题目的,大量不写题目的中国考生还是照样拿到满分(当时是6分)。题目不在评分标准之列。虽然OG的5分范文有题目,但是另一份ETS的资料中——北极星教师用书中给“教师”拿来做评分测验的数篇文章,包括满分作文都没有题目的。

至于老师的教学差异,其实也和地区有关。国内的培训机构相对功利些,只要确定题目不在评分标准之内,那么不写题目节省下来的时间就很有用,且减除了文不对题的风险。

10#
发表于 2007-4-2 00:13:00 | 只看该作者

谢谢山版~

我还是了解的太少了  呵呵

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