写了一篇915作文,请大家拍砖,另外,想知道一下还有什么其它的论据

mydoggie

发现跟我刚写完的delta里的一个练习很像，贴在你后面好了，赫赫，我们互相修改吧？

Delta 4.6

3. A&D : You should not believe everything that you read in the newspaper

Newspaper, as many people think, conveys information from outside world just as it is like. On the contrary, newspaper is not a non-profit institution, which edited by normal human being. As a result, always, newspaper provides the public with incomplete informations information, distorted "fact", no matter unconsciously or intentedly intendedly. For such reasons, I can hardly believe what I read in the newspaper.

 

Information bureau, journalists, and newspaper editors always claim that they hold an impersonal attitude and look at the world with pristine eyes. Unfortunately, two factors weigh heavily against their good will; one is the fluence influence from advertize advertise sponsors, the other the pressure of the current government. As the developing of AD industry, advertize advertise almost appear on every corner of the newspaper. Sometimes, there are additional flyers come with the newspaper; or, the reader may find a huge picture of a brand or commodity taken up a whole paper; even worse, advertizer advertiser may let the editor make up articles for their sales purpose. For instance, some articles boast the unbelievable effect of a new medicine on newspaper,; they even use some fake examples to support their point. Since the financial support from the advertiser is indispensable for most newspapers, they have to write something based upon anything but fact.

 

Besides, news report is monitored and controled controlled by current government. The report must meet the favor of the governer governor. Under such pressure, a journalist can hardly write articles or reports impartially. When the flood was rampant in the south region of China, there was only one voice from the news release, that the government helped their citizen to get over the disaster with little words mentioned the adversary circumstance and unfortunate tragedy.

 

What will be like, you may wander, if the newspaper becomes an independent nonprofit institution? The situation will remain the same. The journalist would describe an event from his/her point of view, no matter intendedly or unconsciously. Even in the column of sports, editors always put too much attention on several prominent or their favorate favorite players, consequently, they simply overlook the others or give inaccurate judgenment judgment without necessary caution.

 

Whatever, we should not be too critical to the press, that the pressman is no saint. The most important is that to judge what you read in the newspaper, never believe in black and white characters. (386)

mydoggie

Nowadays there is a controversial issue about whether the news and information we get is true or not, since people are bewildered by the information comes from so many sources .It seems that the advancement of media which sparks an information explosion and fuels what we know as information chaos （That 后面不是一句话，而是一个很复杂的名词）. Thus some people maintain that it is difficult to know which is true. As far as I am concerned, However, I believe it is easier（easy） to know which is true by various sources of news（by ×××似乎也说不通）. In the following discussion, I will reason and provide concrete evidence to support my ideas.

 

The first and the foremost is that the various channel of information provide a chance to testify the truth of the news and information. In some countries, people have got used to hear the definite information from the authority source like national TV station. Take North Korean for example, their information source is controlled by the leader. Although the description of the leader might be wrong, they do not have any idea to refuse it because they do not have other sources to testify the truth of image of leaders. Therefore, the various sources of information ensure people to check the truth of the news.（therefore后面那句怎么得出来的？ 似乎你举的例子是新闻不真实，和第一句是矛盾的，另外我觉得第一句太绕了，我不知道怎么改，但我觉得如果是我，我会用更简单易懂的句子）

 

Although testifying the truth is the most important determinant（determinant是形容词，这里应该有个名词）, it is not the only explanation for the advantages of many sources of news and information. The increased value placed on the ability to distinguish the reliability of information also explains this trend. These days, people have practiced a skill to get information from many kinds of resources. And they will not satisfy only a source of information. They tend to compare the information （to what )they get(,)  and finally get a conclusion.(这段我觉得你是想说比较从各种不同渠道得来的信息是辨别真伪的一种办法，但是很不 明确）

 

Admittedly, there are several drawbacks of the booming of information. However, it depends on the people who hear it .Those wise and intelligent will distinguish fact from fiction easily by using the mighty tool of various medium.（这段完全跑题了）

 

To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlate with each other to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any single one of them, we can safely reach the conclusion that although today there are many source of news and information, it is still not difficult to know which is true. Because the various sources provide testify function.

如果我说的有什么不对请包涵，刚刚看完delta上讲怎么评价文章那节，我觉得你一定是有个模板的，但套用的太生硬，主要有两个问题：一是完全没有围绕你自己的主题来写，这个对分数影响非常大，很多时候都是在说丰富的信息多么多么好，而不是辨别真伪的问题；二是用了太多过于复杂的句式，把自己绕进去了。

加油：）