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Competition has been existing(直接existed就可以了) for centuries since the trade emerged. To the sellers(最好这里用宽泛一点的,businesspeople), the word competitor which means a sharing(这里用的不好,share是分享的意思,太友好了,应该说:a distributary of profits) of profits is not a welcomed concept(我这里还是建议使用one来对应the word) between them(我觉得你这句话太局部了,和后面的联系不是很好). However, to the whole society, competition brings development to both technology and market. Desert(这里不能写desert,应该是deserting,不过,我觉得这里用setting aside更好) someone's personal abhorrence to it, competition is a beneficial phenomenon which is helpful to the balance of social economic. Firstly, competition always gives positive effects to the development of scientific technologies. For example(我希望你把我以前的修改看一看,我是不建议用for example的,这里可以说let us say), two companies which manufacture the same kind of products(kind要前后对应,这里应该是:the same kind of product) are definitely competitors(避免重复,这里可以用rival) to each other. When one of them wants to get more profits from the market, an effective way is (required) to improve the technology of producing. In this way(Via this method,避免用词的重复), more products (with better qualities) will be created with higher technology(这个在这里重复了) in a (comparatively) limited period, and the manufacturer can decrease the price of each commodity to gain more market spaces which help them chase more profits. Finally, manufacturers are forced to improve their methods of producing continually. As an important cause to this improvement, competition is the real one which promoted(can promote) the development of scientific technology. (你的重复太多了,而且论述太空洞了)
改了一部分,你的写作太简单了 我希望你在发上来之前可以自己先修改升级 然后多看看我的修改和iBT区上的修改 再发上来改 | 
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发表于 2007-6-24 11:43:00
