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我的写作,欢迎拍砖!给个分吧~

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楼主
发表于 2006-10-23 18:05:00 | 显示全部楼层

我的写作,欢迎拍砖!给个分吧~

我第一次写托福的作文,水平实在有限 。心里也没底,麻烦路过的大侠给点评价。鲜花奉上啦~~~

Topic: Do you agree or disagree if people want to have a good future they should have a caful plan while they are still young?

  There are some people who think planning early is better to get a good future while others hold beliefs that there is no need to have a careful plan when they are young. But I would have to say that, if I were faced with this issue, I would probablly follow planning carefully to get a glory future though in one’s young age. In the following discussion ,I would like to  reason and provide evidence to support my view point.

     No issue is more important now than one that refers to having a definite goal in one’s career . That’s also the major benefit a thorough plan made. A famous example can be seen in Einstand ,of whose achievements have influenced all over the world .He made his plan being an useful inventor when he was still in his teenage after dropping from school. And the following all as you know--he got it!

     Giving the motivation is another head and chief reason that I have chosen to put here. People who have a definite plan would make their behaviors more purposely and efficiently than the ones who have not get the plan. So the earlier people make their plan, the less time that would be waste.

      Superior as making a careful plan earlier is, however, it has own demerits as well. For instance, some people say. No plan can  catch up with changes. Nevertheless, the benefit of  having an early plan carry more weight than that of drawback of making the plan early.

      To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that for pursuing one’s achievements, He should make himself a careful plan when he is young. In fact, not only do I agree having a early careful plan, But also prefer to make the plan as more detailed as possible.

 

可能有些人觉得文章框架很熟悉吧 ,嘿嘿,用的就是CD里面的模版哦,不过水平有限,不知道套得好不好,还请高手指点啊。另外我红色标出的部分是没把握的。依次是 1,不确定是否要of.  2,辍学的表示方法。  3“计划赶不上变化”的比较地道的表示?  谢谢啦!!!!   

 

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2006-10-23 18:35:00 | 显示全部楼层

为什么 没人理我 ~~~~~~~~~

各位帮忙 吧 ~~~~~~~
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2006-10-26 01:07:00 | 显示全部楼层

真的很感谢!

看了楼上的修改,我实在是太感动了.改的好仔细啊,还都用红色标出,有评语有建议。谢谢n+1次~~~~~~~~~

真的是不看不知道。。。自己水平太差了。

不过我时间已经非常紧迫了,还有一个多星期了。

写作拉我后腿,因为之前都没有重视问题的严重性!!!!!!!!

现在很着急,不知道大家又没有什么好的建议?

真的很急啊!!!!!!!

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2006-10-26 12:08:00 | 显示全部楼层

我就是套的模板,感觉怪怪的~

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