[注意]请大家帮我修改一下作文!!!谢谢!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rbtop

some suggestions:
the first 2 sentences are hard to understand, awkard.
to control and teaching? to control and teach
there have? there are
I assume? I dont think you should use I assume, delete it
accumulate? not very accurate,  maybe acquired  or mastered
according to the rely of? according to
 not only can,  but also can ?  can not only, but also..
semiannual exam ? midterm exam
consequence of evaluate? evaluation . evaluate is a verb. evaluation is the noun. you should use a noun. there are si
milar mistakes at other places.
maybe is not? may not be
try do best ? try to do best
afraid of ? afraid that
there have?
violent? highly
almost students?
detest?

rbtop

also, make a progression should be make progress