ChaseDream
标题: Emily的作文楼 [打印本页]
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-1 21:30
标题: Emily的作文楼
刚刚杀完G 感觉托福水平大不如前（还是感觉G作文简单呜呜TAT） 希望小伙伴们不要嫌弃 我一定好好写 认真给大家改作文！！！
927有T考试 明天秋季入学~ 申请会计硕士~ 一起加油↖(^ω^)↗
9-1
You can know a lot about aperson through the types of friends this person has
Friends are a mighty elixir,and they play a vital role in people’s success and happiness. Currently, thereis a debate over whether people can learn other individuals via the varietiesof friends those individuals get acquainted with. Some people assert thatpeople often get together merely for corporation rather than soulcommunications. In contrast, I prefer the view that people are dived into groupsby their common preferences and people could certainly know a lot about aperson from the friends around.
Firstof all, the simple reason why people become friends is that they share commoninterests, which bring abundant common topic to discuss. For example, I am keen on jazz dance, whichneeds huge enthusiasm and sexy shows. Emily, my best friend, often dance withme in our extracurricular time for several hours. We often learn the hottestand the most popular dance, like Tik Tok , together and we are both outgoinggirls. It is hard to imagine I spend lots of time with a quite person and I wouldfeel uncomfortable and embarrassed as well. It is obvious that I intend tospend my treasure time doing my favorite things and I like to share thehappiest mood with the people who have the same feeling.
Secondly,it is a common phenomenon that people can become good friends when sharing sameview of life. Apparently, a personwith ambitious aims will not satisfy with the one who hold the belief thatleading an ordinary life is enough. Furthermore, a hardworking student arereluctant to study with a lazy one. For example, I am a diligent student and Ioften study with the top students in my class. There are several students whoare merely immersed in computer games every day. I can teach them beforeexamination because they ask for help and because we are in the same class, butI would not make deeper friends with them since we have totally life habits andI think what they do is completely wasting time.
Admittedly, it may be true that sometimes people arearranged to complete the same task with other individuals, and during theprocess, people cooperate very well with each other and set up a friendship.After all, they are aiming at the same goal. When finishing the task, theywould not contact with each other anymore. However, I don’t think this type offriends are true friends, and this is common working relationship. Furthermore,I am concerned that merely true friends can represent one person’s personality,life style, and so on.
In a nutshell, I could safely draw the conclusion thatpeoplecould certainly know a lot about a person from the friends around the people.
TPO11
The lecture and the reading passage holdcompletely different views towards the decline of reading literature-novels,plays, and poems. The reading claims that it is detrimental for the readingpublic, for culture in general, and for the future of literature itself.However, the listening holds an opposite view.
First the reading claims that onlyliterature provides the intellectual stimulation but people spend less timereading it now. However, the professor thinks reading literature books is notthe only way to stimulate the intellect. Science writing, history, politicalanalysis, etc. aren’t literature but they are of high quality. Also, they canstimulate imagination as well.
Second, the reading argues that divertingtime previously spent in reading literature to trivial forms of entertainmenthas lowered the level of culture in general. However, the professor claims thatsome kinds of valuable culture, like music and movies, are not written andpeople are not wasting time to listen to a great song or see a great movie. Nowthe culture has changed and there are more forms of culture besides novel andpoems. In addition, some of these forms speak more directly to contemporaryconcerns than literature does.
Finally, the reading passage states thatthere are many talented writers today, but they lack an audience. While thelecture states that it is not readers fault, actually it is the authors fault.Some modern articles is intended to be difficult to understand. Here is notmuch reason to suppose that earlier generations of readers would have read alot of today’s literature either.
作者: becky2014 时间: 2014-9-1 23:11
能在你的帖子上面贴一下你的文章么，我看不了你的word版本文章。。麻烦了
作者: becky2014 时间: 2014-9-2 15:30
回复Emily的作文：下面是我一些看法，如果有写错的地方，或者不好的地方，那请见谅。。有写表达我自己也不会的，我就写了下自己读完的感受了
You can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has
Friends are a mighty elixir, and they play a vital role in people’s success and happiness. Currently, there is a debate over whether people can learn（learn这里用的不适当吧，但是我不知道怎么查和Know类似的词汇） other individuals via the varieties of friends those individuals get acquainted with. Some people assert that people often get together merely for corporation rather than soul communications. In contrast, I prefer the view that people are dived （divided）into groups by their common preferences and people could certainly know a lot about a person from the friends around.（感觉应该在前面讲诉下人以群分和中心Know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has的关系，即and前面的句子应该是为后面的句子做支撑，）
First of all, the simple reason why people become friends is that they share common interests, which bring abundant common topic （topics）to discuss. For example, I am keen on jazz dance, which needs huge enthusiasm and sexy shows. Emily, my best friend, often dance (dances) with me in our extracurricular time for several hours. We often learn the hottest and the most popular dance, like Tik Tok , together and we are both outgoing girls. It is hard to imagine I spend lots of time with a quite person and I would feel uncomfortable and embarrassed as well. It is obvious that I intend to spend my treasure time doing my favorite things and I like to share the happiest mood with the people （person） who have （has） the same feeling(这一段结尾感觉还可以改进下，可是我能力有限，不好意思).
Secondly,it is a common phenomenon that people can become good friends when sharing (the)same view of life(life attitudes). Apparently, a person with ambitious aims will not satisfy with the one who hold (holds) the belief that leading(living) an ordinary life is enough. Furthermore, a hardworking student are (is) reluctant to study with a lazy one. For example, I am a diligent student and I often study with the top students in my class. There are several students who are merely immersed in computer games every day. I can teach them before examination because they ask for help and because we are in the same class( I always have to teach them before the period of examination, because we are in the same class and I don’t want to leave a bad impression on others), but I would not make deeper friends（have any genuine friendships） with them since we have totally （different） life habits and ( such as time conception, for playing computer for every single day completely wastes time in my mind )I think what they do is completely wasting time.
Admittedly, it may be true that sometimes people are arranged to complete the same task with other individuals, and during the process, people cooperate very well with each other and set up a friendship. After all, they are aiming at the same goal. (But)When finishing the task, they would not contact with each other anymore. However (Thus), I don’t think this type of friends are (belongs to主语是朋友类型) true friends, and this is common working relationship. Furthermore,I am concerned that merely true friends can represent one person’s personality,life style, and so on（最后一句话跟这段联系不紧密）.
In a nutshell, I could safely draw the conclusion that people could certainly know a lot about a person from the friends around the people.
TPO11
The lecture and the reading passage hold completely different views towards the decline of reading literature-novels,plays, and poems. The reading claims that it is detrimental for the reading public, for culture in general, and for the future of literature itself. However, the listening holds an opposite view.
First the reading claims that only literature provides the intellectual stimulation but people spend less time reading it now. However, the professor thinks reading literature books is not the only way to stimulate the intellect. Science writing, history, political analysis, etc. aren’t literature but they are of high quality. Also, they can stimulate imagination as well.
Second, the reading argues that diverting time previously spent in reading literature to trivial forms of entertainmenthas lowered the level of culture in general（提炼主谓宾之后句子意思不对，转变花在文学阅读而到其他形式的娱乐形式的时间普遍来说降低了文化水准，即时间降低了文化水准 Trivial forms of entertainments that readers spent more time on rather than literature）. However, the professor claims that some kinds of valuable culture, like(such as) music and movies, are not written and people are not wasting time to listen to a great song or see(watch) a great movie. Now the culture has changed and there are more forms of culture besides novel and poems. In addition, some of these forms speak more directly to contemporary concerns than literature does.
Finally, the reading passage states that there are many talented writers today, but they lack an audience（audiences）. While the lecture states that it is not readers fault, actually it is the authors fault.Some modern articles is(are) intended to be difficult to understand. Here is not much reason to suppose that earlier generations of readers would have read alot of today’s literature either.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-2 21:51
becky2014 发表于 2014-9-2 15:30 
回复Emily的作文：下面是我一些看法，如果有写错的地方，或者不好的地方，那请见谅。。有写表达我自己也不 ...
感谢感谢！！~~ 妹子看到我给你修改的作文有什么不明白的再找我！！~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-2 21:51
9.2
Being creative, rather than carefully planning, is more often results in better solution.
As the modern society develops, people are increasingly putting emphasizes on the efficiency and effectiveness of completing tasks. Currently, there is a debate over whether being creative or carefully planning is more significant for achieving one’s goal. Different people hold different opinions because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people assert that nowadays technology, which needs creativity, changes people’s lives. Obviously, being creative is more vital. I support this idea to a large extent, but I am convinced that both creativity and a sophisticated plan are of the same significance.
First of all, there is no denying that creativity can bring us a lot of convenience. For example, computer has a significant impact on people’s lives and computer derives from predecessors’ creativity. Using computer, we can get access to internet. As everybody knows, there will be massive information on the internet, so we can broaden our horizon by seeing different kinds of knowledge. When we surf on the internet, we can know currents and latest news, so we can know what are happening around the word. Furthermore, online shopping plays a more essential role in our daily life. As the rapid pace of life nowadays, people seldom have spare time. By online shopping, which gives more options and real-time inventory of item, we can save tremendous time and energy. We have to say online shopping is a huge progression and it has even progressed into the supermarket realm. Sit at home on a Thursday evening and order food for your Saturday barbecue for delivery on Saturday morning. No more pushing a cart around a big box store, and lugging heavy plastic bags to your car. Our life will become increasingly enjoyable and comfortable.
Secondly, several minutes planning before tackling a problem can improve our productivity and efficiency greatly. It is obviously that lots of things must have to be planned ahead for achieving a better result. For example, the most occupied time for a student is the time when preparing final examinations. Tests for compulsory courses and optional courses, papers, and researches have taken up most of time, and I am obliged to make a very specific schedule for using the limited time effectively. I arrange the tasks according to the due time and different priorities, so the most important things can be done quickly. Furthermore, a plan is also a reminder because it can remind us what we have not done, and I have to admit that I often forget trivial things easily. Consequently, not only can we manage and control the time , but also we have chances of doing multiple tasks at the same time.
In a nutshell, being creativity and carefully planning are of the same importance(和开头好重复- -). We should consider things in different aspects.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-2 22:51
In the lecture, the professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage. The lecture says that the subject in the portrait was not Jane Austen. However, the writer asserts that although the painting is not titled Jane Austen, there are several reasons to believe she is the subject.
First, the reading passage believes that Austen’s family recognized the illustration as a portrait of the author. In contrast, the reading passage believes that when the portrait was authorized to be used as an illustration in an edition of her letters, Jane Austen has been dead for almost 70 years. So the family who asserted to have seen Jane Austen have never seen her themselves.
Second, the reading states that the face in the portrait clearly resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch, which depicts Austen. Nonetheless, the speaker asserts that the face in the portrait may be that of a Jane Austen relative, because Jane’s family was very large and many of Jane Austen’s female cousins were teenagers in the relevant period. And some of these teenagers could resemble Jane Austen. Some experts considered Mary who was a distant niece of Jane Austen was the subject of the portrait.
Finally, the reading demonstrates that the style links it to Ozias Humphrey, a society portrait painter, who was active in the late 1780s and early 1790s, exactly the period when Jane Austen was the age of the girl in the painting.(这句话求完美改写...T^T) However, the speaker raises the issue that other evidence points to a later date. For example, a stamp on the back of picture indicated that the canvas was sold by a man who did not sold canvas in London when Jane Austen was a teenager. And the man only sold the canvas when Jane was 20 years old. As a result, the canvas was used when Jane was older than the girl in the portrait.
作者: GJason 时间: 2014-9-3 09:54
9.2独立修改，详细见附件，概要如下：
1.文章框架清晰，没问题
2.关于第一个论点的论述与主题略偏离
3.语法错误偶见
4.句式需要多积累
楼主的问题和我的比较类似，加油
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-3 10:15
GJason 发表于 2014-9-3 09:54
9.2独立修改，详细见附件，概要如下：
1.文章框架清晰，没问题
2.关于第一个论点的论述与主题略偏离
谢谢！~ 我也给你改完啦~ 有问题问我！！~~
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-3 20:35
改好啦~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-3 21:29
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-3 20:35
改好啦~
么么哒！！~~~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-3 21:31
9-3 独立Do you agree or disagree? The best way for a teacher to let students become interested in a subject is to help them know how to use it in lives outside schools
Nowadays education has been performing an important role in the processof a society, and teachers obviously exert huge influence on student’s interestin one subject. There is no denying that our interest in a subject is influencedby many things, but I am notconvinced that knowing how to use one subject outside schools can enhancestudents’ interest.
First of all, teachers’encouragements can become catalysts to stimulate students’ interests. As the sayinggoes, confidence in yourself is the first step to success. Therefore, buildingconfidence is a main driving force for students to learn. Without confidence,students will become disoriented. A common phenomenon is abounding in everyschool: some students might be enthusiastic in certain subjects at thebeginning, yet their confidences are gradually dampened owing to thwarts.Regretful as they feel when they abandon it. Therefore, teachers should shoulderresponsibilities to encourage students when they are disappointed. Sincestudents tend to believe words from teachers, some encouragements wouldeffectively awake their confidences, therefore strengthen their interests. OnceI was very interest in Financial Management when learning accounting, but when Iencountered the topic of fluctuation of international interest rate, I felt it wasformidable to conquer and nearly gave up learning that book. But my tutor soongave me lots of useful tips and pointed out my misunderstanding, which providedme a new view toward this subject. Consequently, my interest was aroused againand I was filled with energy and power.
Secondly, teacher’s teachingstyle actually exert vital effect on student‘s interest in one subject. Some people mayassert that History is so boring, but thanks to my outstanding history teacher,I am concerned that it is the most intriguing subject I have ever learned. My historyteacher is very humorous and talented. He doesn’t read book rigidly, instead, hetells students stories passionately according to historical point, which helpsus remember the historical events without effort. Furthermore, he always showsus precious documentary film like European Renaissance, and once I was deeply attractedby the eminent masterpiece of Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael, and Michelangelo.Since then, I have been keen on appreciating Leonardo’s painting like The LastSupper and been immersed in European culture. Meantime, he often asks us tohave discussions and debate concerning historical stories, efficientlyactivating atmosphere. Consequently, we feel stimulating and master knowledgediligently.
Admittedly, knowing how touse one subject outside school can provide students lots of study motivation.However, I do not think that can arouse one’s interest, because students justchase for the outcome they want and may ignore the voice from deepest heart(这个用法对么- -)---their genuine interest.
In a nutshell, there exists lots of significance factors producing hugeinfluence on students’ interest. A decent teacher is someone who inspirestudents to learn fishing rather than give fishes directly.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-3 22:51
TPO 13 综合
According to the passage, sale of fossils is anunfortunate development for both scientists and the general public. Conversely, the professor holds the view that the benefits of commercial fossil tradegreatly outweigh the disadvantages.
Fist, the reading argues that since fossils are soldprivate collectors and people can hardly see fossils in the public , publicinterests would decrease. However, the professor asserts that the public islikely to have greater exposure to fossils as a result of commercial fossiltrade. Commercial fossil hunting makes a lot of fossil available for purchase,and as a result, even low level of public institution like public schools andlibraries, can buy the fossils and display them in the public.
Second, the reading indicates that scientists mayloss access to valuable fossils and they would miss lots of important discoveries.Nonetheless, the speaker says that before anyone can put a value on the fossil,fossils need to be scientifically identified. The only people who can identifyfossil are scientists who perform detail examinations and tests. So evenfossils go to private collectors, fossils must have been passed through thehands of scientists. As a result, scientific communities would not loss anyimportance.
At last, the reading affirms that fossil collectorsmay destroy essential evidence which related to the fossils unearthed. On the contrary,the professor states that even thoughdamage may occur, it is better to find fossils than to have many fossils gocompletely undiscovered.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 23:16
mm的作文水平好高啊
学习了！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-5 21:40
9-4 独立 should all teachers be required to take courses every fiveyears to update their knowledge?
【重感冒脑袋全是浆糊- -主题句也不是很新颖 烦恼！希望看到好文章分享！！】
Currently, Education is one of the main pillars of a prosperous society, and it should be a life-long pursuit for people in every walk of life. Some authorities suggest that every teacher is supposed to take courses every five years to update their knowledge. In contrast, I prefer the view that a portion of teachers must shoulder the responsibility to update their knowledge every five years in line with the types of subjects they teach.
The information of some subjects, such as politics and history, changes rapidly every day; consequently, teachers are supposed to enrich their lessons with the latest news. For example, there is a hotspot concerning Pakistan opposition in talks with government to end political crisis, which would exert huge influence on the world’s pattern. History should be objective and accurate. Not only is the text book supposed to be renewed, but also teachers should catch up with the latest examination syllabus. Furthermore, the relationship between the Russia and China is changing under different historical events and the intense situation between Iran and Iraq has exerted direct effect on international politics. Provided that teachers are not conscious to update their knowledge and outlook, students’ right to broaden their views would be deprived.
However, for some other subjects, take math as an illustration, does not need teachers to renew knowledge in several years. There is no denying that the formula and theorem have been certified by predecessors for thousands of years, which, obviously, would not change anymore. As a result, it is not essential for teachers to update their knowledge no matter how the environment changes. To be specific, my text book of calculus was written in 2004 but it has no adverse effect on my studying of limits and derivatives, differential rules, integrals, and so on. Similarly, chemical equation is permanent and timeless, and all the breakthrough are on the basis of fundamental ones.
Admittedly, teachers, as professionals, need to stay engaged in their work by keeping up with our fast-changing world through frequent seminars, workshops or in-service days. Nevertheless, choosing whether or not to update the knowledge based on diverse subjects can not only save money but also limited time and energy.（这个反驳好无力..）
In a nutshell, not all teachers are supposed to take courses every five years to update their knowledge. (结尾真是太简单- -)
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-5 22:51
TPO14 综合~
According to the passage, salvage logging isbeneficial both to a damaged forest and to the economy. Conversly, the professor holds the view that salvage logging would result in longer envrionmental damage and its economic benefits are also questionable.
First, the professor argues that clearing up a forest after a fire does not necessarilycreate a right condition for tree growth. In fact, the natural process of wood decomposition enriches the soil. But the removal of dead trees can result in soil that lacks nutrients which is necessary for growth. However,the reading says salvage logging is likely to help forest areasrecover from the disaster because it removes the remains of deadtrees and makes room for fresh growth immediately.(原文有些抄的太多了....)
Second, the professor asserts that spruce bark beetle has lived in the forest forhundreds of years without damage to it. Furthermore, dead trees can provide habitat for some species like birds, which provide lots of benefits for theforest. As a result, salvage logging would do more damage to health of theforest. However, the passage states that salvage logging helps minimize the dangers of insect infestation and would contribute to the health ofthe forest, which is in sharp contrasts to the lecture.
Another evidence the lecturer adopts to refute the passage is that the economic benefits of salvage logging are very small and do not last very long. In severely damaged forest, woods can only be used by vehicles which are expensive to use and maintain. Also, job created are temporary because lots of workers are outsiders who are more experienced,differing from the statement of the passage.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-6 15:25
mm继续加油！
句子很棒哦~~~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-6 21:21
9-5 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.
A famous saying goes “Preparedness ensures success, unpreparedness spells failure”, which means that planning and organizing is of significance for the success. I strongly agree that it is indispensable for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize in the complex society currently.
First of all, planning and organizing is the catalyst to enhance people’s effectiveness. Planning is leveraged time. Several minutes planning before tackling a problem can improve our productivity and efficiency greatly. It is obviously that lots of things must have to be planned ahead for achieving a better result. For instance, at the end of every semester, I always run into a rushing time, because I have to prepare for the examinations, finish several papers, and close some research report. It is quite easy to get lost in such a busy time. Thus, I start to learn planning strategically to improve my efficiency. I would establish a “to do” list according to priorities of things and tick off the items as I move forward. In this way, I can manage my time and solve multiple problems at the same time. Consequently, not only do I improve my studying efficiency, but also I have cultivated the ability to deal with tasks comprehensively.
Furthermore, people with detailed plan and long-term goal can gain increasing cutting-edge in their career path. It is obvious that if a person has a clear goal, he would do his utmost to achieve what he is longing for and the company can get benefits as well. Thus, there is no dying that a well-organized person has(?) more superiority. For example, my sister succeeded in a tough job interview of KPMG. When the employer asked her that what she would do in future job, my sister fully expounded her plan if she could get the opportunity. She represented her career planning in two years and five years respectively, and she said her ultimate goal was to be one of partners of the company. Consequently, she was the only person that the company hired from nearly a hundred interviewers. The employer later said she was a unique person who has the ability to make a good plan. Therefore, a good plan is a magic weapon for winning.
Nowadays I am a student thus I am not financial independent; therefore, planning and organizing is vital for the proper regulation of financial situation. Everyone should learn to spend the money wisely, otherwise, overspending would occur. For instance, my mother gives me 500$ per month for my living expenses, but I always spent 60% on online-shopping without any plan. So usually I do not have any money remained in the end of months, and I even do not have money to have breakfast every day. Bad habits attributes in detrimental life style.
In a nutshell, the ability to plan and organize is very crucial for people's life in today's complex society.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-6 22:23
TPO15 综合
The lecture and reading passage hold completely different views toward the measures which have been proposed to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia.
First, the reading passage claims that national fence can be used to prevent the spread of the toad effectively. However, the professor advocates that the national fence cannot be used to stop the spread of the cane toad since young cane toads and their eggs are easily carried by streams. So cane toads can flow from one place to another in the river and they can get through the national fence ,as a result,the method would not be effective.
What's more, the reading advocates that cane toads can be captured and destroyed by volunteers. However, the professor thinks that these untrained volunteers may destroy many Australia native frogs, and some of which are endangered. Furthermore, it is not easy to tell cane toad apart from native frogs when they are young.
At last, the reading passage claims that researchers are developing a disease-causing virus to control the cane toad populations. However, the professor advocates that this method is terrible for toad’s original habitat as toads(听错了) may be transported by researchers to other continents. If animals are infected by the virus, the virus would attack the native cane toad and devastate their populations.(这句话写的很屎 原句是：Well, Australian reptiles and amphibians are often transported to other continents by researchers or pet collectors for example. Once the animals infected by the virus reach Central and South American, the virus will attack the native cane toads and devastate their populations) Ecological disaster would happen because in the America cane toads are native species and they are vital for the ecosystem. So if they are eliminated, the whole ecosystem would suffer.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-6 22:56
9-6 It is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family nowadays than before. 【需要修改】
Family provides the support and backbone that everyone needs to feel accomplished, happy, and loved in life. Thus ,family is of great necessity in our life. Some people advocate that in the recent decades, family is gradually losing its significance because of the fast development of education, which enables people to become more competitive. From my perspective, thanks to family’s help, people can achieve success more easily than ever before.
Initially, family can provide more vauable job opportunities and precious suggestions when we search for jobs. Nowadays, family members are occupied in diverse jobs, which can not only provide us various working experience ,but also help us extend the social network efficiently. For instance, last year I hunted for an intership but obtained nothing unfortunately. I complained to my uncle, one of the senior managers in the City Bank, and he firstly understood my personal situation comprehensively and then provided me some specific suggestions---what to wear in an interview, what financial knowledge I should equip with before it, how to become outstanding and confidence in the group interview, what questions I should ask to the interviewers at last,etc. All these suggestions inspired me to a large extent. After an well-organized preparation, I applied a decent position in the Charted Bank consequently.
Second, financial support is another important contribution from the family in our way to success. Psychologically, we know that there is certain bond among members of the families. When we are longing for starting a company, the family will provide financial support at first, since we seldom bail on family members. Furthermore, as the society advances by leaps and bounds, families’ financial condition has been improved dramatically, which, I have to say, is the base for offering money support. Moreover, thanks to only-one-child policy in China, nowadays Chinese teenagers can easily get more financial support than ever before for the simple reason that in the past, there was more than one child sharing the limited sources in a family. For those people who can make use of the financial advantage, there appears to be always a short cut to success.
Admittedly, sometimes family members have limited time or energy to offer help because they are all trapped in busy work and trivial daily things. However, if we encounter some major problems like downsizing, family members would definitely give us comfort and help us find a better job in first time. It is family members that show solicitude to us most.
In a nutshell, in order to achieve economic and career success, the need to get benefit from help provided by family members is more obvious than before. Without such help, the road to success seems often under construction.
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-7 15:34
The lecture and reading passage hold completely different views toward the measures which have been proposed to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia.
First, the reading passage claims that（a+） national fence can be used to prevent the spread of the toad effectively. However, the professor advocates that the national fence cannot be used to stop the spread of the cane toad（可以用disagree之类词一笔带过，重要的部分是since后的，突出主次，当然没有错，只是可以更好） since young cane toads and their eggs are easily carried by streams（and rivers）. So cane toads can flow from one place to another in the river and they can get through the national fence ,as a result,the method would not be effective.
What's（what is，要不机器人不太认） more, the reading advocates that cane toads can be captured and destroyed by volunteers. However, the professor thinks that these untrained volunteers may destroy many Australia native frogs, and some of which are endangered.（漏一点when they are young） Furthermore, it is not easy to tell cane toad apart from native frogs when they are young.
At last, the reading passage claims that researchers are developing a disease-causing virus to control the cane toad populations. However, the professor advocates that this method is terrible for toad’s original habitat as toads(听错了) may be transported by researchers to other continents. If animals are infected by the virus, the virus would attack the native cane toad and devastate their populations.(这句话写的很屎 原句是：Well, Australian reptiles and amphibians are often transported to other continents by researchers or pet collectors for example. Once the animals infected by the virus reach Central and South American, the virus will attack the native cane toads and devastate their populations) Ecological disaster would happen because in the America cane toads are native species and they are vital for the ecosystem. So if they are eliminated, the whole ecosystem would suffer.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-7 17:00
chasedreamabc 发表于 2014-9-7 15:34
The lecture and reading passage hold completely different views toward the measures which have been ...
十分感谢
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-7 22:40
Tpo16 综合
The reading passage claims that the scienceof archaeology was faced with serious problems as well as lots of limitation inUK. This claim completely contradicts the idea of the reading passage, whichsuggests that there are three new areas to improve archaeologists’ situation.
First, the reading passage contends that lots ofartifacts were destroyed by the construction projects. However, the professor believes that before the constructionprojects start, all sites should be examined byarchaeologists to assess whether they are archaeology interests and valuablethings or not. If the sites are archaeology interests, builders, archaeologistsand the official government would made a plan to preserve artifacts. Before theconstruction is allowed, archaeological artifactswould be excavated and documented properly. (听力细节好多..求速记方法T T)
Second, according to the reading passage, thefinancial support for archaeologists are inadequate. On the other hand, the lecture argues that there is a new rule andall archaeologistsare paid by construction companies not the government. Construction companiesneed to pay for the initial examination and work under a preservation plan. The new financial support allows archaeologiststo explore a wider range than ever before.
Third, in the reading passage, the author states thatit is hard to find a job as an archaeologist.In contrast, the lecture holds the opposite opinion and believes that experts arehired of all stages of process ---examine the site for archaeological value, drawthe preservation plan, do the research in a professional scientific manner, andprocess data and write the article(考试根本记不下来如此多的细节...TAT). Currently the job and career opportunityhas increased and archaeologists have increased as well.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-7 23:26
抱歉，改得好晚
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-8 09:25
angla 发表于 2014-9-7 23:26
抱歉，改得好晚
谢谢！！~~~~月饼节快乐！！！！！~~~~~~
作者: 小蘑菇开始打怪 时间: 2014-9-8 22:41
0906 revised by mushroom
[size=13.63636302948px]9-6 It is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family nowadays than before. 【需要修改】
[size=13.63636302948px]Family provides the support and backbone that everyone needs to feel accomplished, happy, and loved in life. Thus ,family is of great necessity in our life. Some people advocate that in the recent decades, family is gradually losing its significance because of the fast development of education, which enables people to become more competitive.[size=13.63636302948px] From my perspective, thanks to family’s help, people can achieve success more easily than ever before.
[size=13.63636302948px]Initially, family can provide more vauable(valuable) job opportunities and precious suggestions when we search for jobs[size=13.63636302948px]. Nowadays, family members are occupied in diverse jobs, which can not only provide us various working experience ,but also help us extend the social network efficiently. For instance, last year I hunted for an intership but obtained nothing unfortunately. I complained to my uncle, one of the senior managers in the City Bank, and he firstly understood my personal situation comprehensively and then provided me some specific suggestions---what to wear in an interview, what financial knowledge I should equip with before it, how to become outstanding and confidence in the group interview, what questions I should ask to the interviewers at last,etc. All these suggestions inspired me to a large extent. After an well-organized preparation, I applied a decent position in the Charted Bank consequently.
Second, financial support is another important contribution from the family in our way to success.[size=13.63636302948px]Psychologically, we know that there is certain bond among members of the families. When we are longing for starting a company, the family will provide financial support at first, since we seldom bail on family members. Furthermore, as the society advances by leaps and bounds, families’ financial condition has been improved dramatically, which, I have to say, is the base for offering money support. Moreover, thanks to only-one-child（可以去掉only，就是one-child policy） policy in China, nowadays Chinese teenagers can easily get more financial support than ever before for the simple reason that in the past, there was more than one child sharing the limited sources in a family. For those people who can make use of the financial advantage, there appears to be always a short cut to success.
[size=13.63636302948px]Admittedly[size=13.63636302948px], sometimes family members have limited time or energy to offer help because they are all trapped in busy work and trivial daily things. However, if we encounter some major problems like downsizing, family members would definitely give us comfort and help us find a better job in first time. It is family members that show solicitude to us most.（让步段内容相较于之前两段偏少，不过在不影响总字数的情况下应该没什么关系）
[size=13.63636302948px]In a nutshell, in order to achieve economic and career success, the need to get benefit from help provided by family members is more obvious than before. Without such help, the road to success seems often under construction.
总的来说写得真的蛮好的，语法错误也比较少。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-8 23:33
The students nowadays do not respect theirteachers as much as the students in the past.
The recent decades have witnessed the drastic improvement in every social aspect by virtue of which students’ comprehensive ability has been greatly improved. Currently, some people advocate that the students nowadays do not esteem teachers the same as students in previous years since now students’ minds are extremely active and they do not follow authority blindly. However, others have opposite ideas. From my perspective, students do respect professors as the students in the past.
To begin with, from the subjective aspect, students’ comprehensive ability is greatly enhanced and the virtue awareness is improved. There is no denying that all schools are propelling the quality-oriented education and they are putting more emphasize on the methods which can cultivate students to have a well round personality. As a result,except for the conventional subjects like maths, science, history, universities are paying more attention to some moral lessons like the Moral Education. Under this policy, students realize that respecting teachers is a virtue which is an indispensable part in the daily life and conflicts with teachers shouldn’t occur in a harmonious school;consequently, they show adequate esteem and complimentto teachers. According to a recent survey conducted by my university, 87.5% teachers agree that “when been responded about certain doubts, students actvery respectfully rather than show any aggressiveness or impoliteness. “ morethan 70% claim that “ even if there is conflict of ideas, students never disapprove the teachers’ ideas in front of them. ” Furthermore, it is the professional knowledge of teachers that enables students to respect them thoroughly. Nowadays there exist lots of methods for teachers to enhance the level of teaching, such as increasing training institutions, more communicational meetings and opportunities to study broad, which I have to say,can definitely improve the professional knowledge and build authority among students.
In addition, from the objective aspect, it is the society influence that enables students to respect teachers. First, no doubt the teachers influence has been drastically enlarged and the payment forteachers has been extremely improved. Nowadays with the mass media, some beneficial publicity is put on the screen. For example, every year there is one of the most significant TV programs called Teachers Touching China which sifts the top ten teachers devoting their love to students without selfish motives. All school students watch the program in classrooms with tears. Under such condition, why students show disrespect to teachers? Second ,with the social culture of analogizing teachers to gardeners, students are highly unlikely to behave disgracefully against teachers, which means an obvious fight against social norms.
Admittedly, some students do not think teachers are indispensable in their lives and they do not follow the authority blindly. However, in my opinion, students can have the choice to be independentand and do not rely on teachers’ help, but they are not supposed to show disrespect to teachers which is a way of exceeding moral line. I used to discussed a topic concerning the reasons of hazy whether in Beijing with my teacher. Although we had different opinions and I thought I had more objective evidence, I still regarded him as a very authoritative teacher.
In a nutshell, students nowadays do show respect to teachers and the tendency will keep.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-9 00:34
have studied many from you！！！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-9 08:51
TPO 17
According to the passage, the growth of human populationand increase of agriculture and pesticide use have detrimental effect on birds,which apparently refutes the points illustrated in the lecture.
First, the passage says the natural habitats for birdswill continue to disappear due to the expansion of human population andsettlements. As a result, the bird population will decrease. On the contrary, theprofessor contends that the urban city would not affect the growth of birds andit would provide better and larger habitats for other types of birds. So city dwellersoften complainabout the increase the population of seagulls at landfills, pigeons on the streets and so on .Even Birds like hawk and falcon which prey on the pigeons and rodents canbe found in cities. So, the populationof birds would not decline , although some populations may shrink, other typesof birds would increase.
Second, the reading asserts that The growth ofagriculture will lead to the furtherdestruction of bird habitats which are converted to agriculture use. Incontrast, the professor claims that now the United States is using less andless land for agriculture every year. They introduce a new productive cropswhich will produce more food on the land per unit. . As a result, there is noneed to destroy wildnessareas.
Third, the reading claims that chemical pesticide usewill continue to increase, which does harm to bird population. On the otherhand, the professor indicates that the government is increasing the awarenessof the consequence of using traditional pesticide. There are two changes. First,they develop the new and less toxic pesticide, which is very important. Second,more importantly, there is growing trend to develop more pest resistant crops which aregenetically designed to be unattractive to the pests. Pest resistant corpsgreatly reduce the need for chemical pesticide. As a result, pest resistantcorps do not harm birds at all.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-9 19:25
9-8过去老师比现在老师对年轻人影响力更大
Education has been performing an important role in the process of a society and teachers definitely have enormous effect on cultivating students---driven force of country’s prosperity. From my perspective, teachers, no matter in the past time or in current time, do have the same influence on youth.
In the past, the reason why teachers exerted tremendous influence upon students was that students who were longing for knowledge lacked access to study. This phenomenon was abounding in China. For instance, in the Qing Dynasty, The Imperial Civil Examination System---the unique gateway to secure an official position---was the rage. According to a survey conducted by China Daily, there were almost 16000 people attended the test but merely 308 could be admitted, which indicates the fierce competition between the students. Deficient resources enabled teachers to play a vital role in imparting knowledge. Currently, it is the internet that provides us a multitude of information we are searching for, but in ancient time, teachers were the sole intermediary for broadcasting knowledge. There is no denying that all students showed great esteem and appreciation towards teachers, which greatly enhanced their reliability and enlarged their influence. In addition, it was the professional knowledge of teachers that enabled students to respect them thoroughly. For example, Socrates, as an eminent teacher, had a far-reaching impact on Plato and Aristotle, which cannot be neglected. Socrates’s saying---I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance---embodied not only his sagacity but also modesty.
In the 21st century, students are obviously overwhelmed by homework and shouldering severe stress from various examinations, especially the College Entrance Examination. Consequently, students necessitate the help from teachers who have the ability to provide appropriate studying methods. Obviously, it is teachers who pose great effect on students’ every studying stage. Nowadays I am an undergraduate and at the end of every semester, I always run into a rushing time, because I have to prepare for the examinations, finish several papers, and close some research report. It is quite easy to get lost in such a busy time. I remembered one day I felt extremely frustrated with so many works undone and complained to my tutor. He told me that planning was leveraged time and several minutes planning before tackling a problem can improve your productivity and efficiency greatly. Thus, I started to learn planning strategically to improve my efficiency. I established a “to do” list according to priorities of things and ticked off the items as I moved forward. In this way, I not only managed my time but also solved multiple problems at the same time. Had I got the valuable advice from my teacher, I would not have dealt with such huge workloads.
In a nutshell, teachers, the beacon on my way to success, exert the same influence upon young people every time.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-9 20:18
TPO 18 综合
The reading introduces three methods to solve the decline of Torreya. However, the professor claims that these methods are not effective.
First, the reading passage contends that it is better to reestablish Torreya in the same place, which has a specific microclimate. However, the professor argues that the microclimate areas are not suitable to the growth of Torreya since they are strongly affected by changes in climate of larger region. Now the global warming has resulted in the overall increasing temperature and the wet land was drained. So lands become drier. As a result, the Torreya cannot survive anywhere within the microclimate area.
Second, the reading states that moving Torreya to a completely new area, far from its Florida microclimate and further north, is another choice. However, the speaker says that relocating trees to a new area cannot solve the problem. For example, when Black locust Tree was brought to a new area, it spread rapidly and even killed off the plants and trees, which were very endangered and nearly extinct. As a result, relocating can bring lots of unpredictable outcomes for the new environment.
Third, according to the reading passage, the third option is to protect the Torreya in research centers. On the contrary, the professor believes that in that condition, Torreya cannot resist the disease. Only large and genetically diverse trees in wild areas can resist disease. But the research area cannot keep large tress, and as a result, the trees cannot survive in the long run.
作者: jason509 时间: 2014-9-9 20:35
9-8 aggregate reviewed
作者: 小蘑菇开始打怪 时间: 2014-9-9 21:10
[size=13.63636302948px]TPO 17 revised by mushroom
[size=13.63636302948px]According to the passage, the growth of human population and increase of agriculture and pesticide use have detrimental effect(用复数） on birds,which apparently refutes the points illustrated in the lecture.（在这里我认为用把refute的主语换成lecture会比较好，因为我们是先看到的文章然后再听听力，听力的逻辑也是来反驳文章的，所以第一段的表述写成professor反驳文章观点会比较符合逻辑）
[size=13.63636302948px]
[size=13.63636302948px]First, the passage says the natural habitats for birdswill continue to disappear due to the expansion of human population andsettlements. As a result, the bird population will decrease. On the contrary, theprofessor contends that the urban city would not affect the growth of birds andit would provide better and larger habitats for other types of birds. So city dwellersoften complainabout the increase the population of seagulls at landfills, pigeons on the streets and so on .Even Birds like hawk and falcon which prey on the pigeons and rodents canbe found in cities. So, the populationof birds would not decline , although some populations may shrink, other typesof birds would increase.
[size=13.63636302948px]
[size=13.63636302948px]Second, the reading asserts that The growth ofagriculture will lead to the furtherdestruction of bird habitats which are converted to agriculture use. Incontrast, the professor claims that now the United States is using less andless land for agriculture every year. They introduce a new productive cropswhich will produce more food on the land per unit. . As a result, there is noneed to destroy wildnessareas.
[size=13.63636302948px]
[size=13.63636302948px]Third, the reading claims that chemical pesticide usewill continue to increase, which does harm to bird population. On the otherhand, the professor indicates that the government is increasing the awarenessof （我觉得用get more aware of 要简洁很多）the consequence of using traditional pesticide. There are two changes. First,they develop the new and less toxic pesticide, which is very important. Second,more importantly, there is growing trend to develop more pest resistant crops which aregenetically designed to be unattractive to the pests. Pest resistant corpsgreatly reduce the need for chemical pesticide. As a result, pest resistantcorps do not harm birds at all.
楼主听力部分还原地很好，一点建议就是每段开头可以多些变化~总体很棒！抱歉改晚了，我的文章也已经写好了。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-9 21:23
jason509 发表于 2014-9-9 20:35
9-8 aggregate reviewed
谢谢！~~一会儿给你修改！~~~~~
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-10 09:57
终于传上来了。。。。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-10 11:23
angla 发表于 2014-9-10 09:57
终于传上来了。。。。
谢谢！！！~~~~我会想你的=333=
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-10 12:22
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-10 11:23
谢谢！！！~~~~我会想你的=333=
嘿嘿
说不定过两天就痒痒想写了。。。
关键是我高级词汇太少了
每次改你的作文都有一种自己的拿不出手的感觉。。。。冏
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-10 19:25
9-9
提前声明~ 这篇文章写完后在网上看到了一个范文 觉得写得炒鸡棒 就和自己的加工组合了一下！！！最重要的是借鉴... 写得真心棒.....很有参考价值！
Modern agriculture methods like the use of pesticides and artificial fertilizers are widely used around the world. Along with such brings forth negative effects. The most obvious and detrimental impact of modern agriculture methods is environmental degradation. Many people believe that the environmental risks should not be taken into consideration since many people are suffering from the lack of food. Nonetheless, I certainly disagree with this opinion.
First, there is no denying that people’s survival depends on the environment. More often than not, whenever the environment gets damaged, the deleterious effects are always irreversible. In other words, once the environment on which we depend on is disrupted, our lives are placed at risk. Modern agriculture, although it provides enough food, has contaminated the water and soil to a large extent. When people eat crops grown with polluted water and soil, diseases will break out sooner or later. Furthermore, genetically modified crops, although their negative effects are not obvious and not yet confirmed, should also be treated with great care. According to a survey conducted by the National Statistics Bureau, nearly 87% animals, such as dogs and cats become sick after ingesting genetically modified food. If human beings are negatively affected by modern agriculture, untold dire consequences will arise. People will suffer from diseases and the government will shoulder considerable medical bills. Worse, the society may become unstable and inharmonious.
In addition, despite the fact that there are people who suffer from starvation, the reason is not because of the lack of food. As a matter of fact, tons of grains and corns are wasted every year. According to an article from www.NEWS.cn, every year nearly 13 hundred million foods are wasted by people, but in the meanwhile, 9.25 hundred million individuals are sustaining starvation. Moreover, people suffer just because of bad management, worldwide corruption, and terrible indifference. So there is no need to destroy wilderness areas or use environmentally-damaging agricultural methods to increase productivity. The world nowadays has more food than we need. If the government and the general public really care about starving people, they should exert tremendous effect on eradicating bad management and cultivating people’s conservation awareness.
From the above discussion, I can draw the conclusion that there are other more effective methods to address starvation. No matter how much food we produce, as long as corruption and wasteful use exist, there will always be starving people. Besides, a healthy natural environment is a basic requirement of our survival. We cannot increase food production at the expense of our environment, lest we are bound to suffer for our inconsideration and recklessness.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-10 21:32
TPO 19
The lecture claims that as buzzer, the description of buzzing is misleading, which apparently refutes the points illustrated in the passage.
First, the reading says people would get incorrect information concerning the buzzed product. However, the lecturer refutes that company finds people who have used the product and think the product is good. And consumers can get truth from buzzers. Also, the buzzer in the lecture was hired because he thought the company’s service was great.
Second, the reading indicates that consumers are less suspicious of the product which is buzzed by private individuals. Nonetheless, the lecture says that the people would ask lots of questions about the buzzing product concerning the price, service, and how long the buzzer has used the product. If the buzzer has no good answers, consumers would not buy the product.
At last, the reading points that buzzing is detrimental to social relationship. However, the lecturer argues that this phenomenon would not happen since if the product is bad, the company would not recruit buzzers. So people who try buzzed products would have good experience. If one person tries the service which buzzer uses, he would love it.
作者: MrWaiting 时间: 2014-9-10 22:21
9.9 改，见附件
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-11 16:49
9-10 独立：政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花更多精力
【不晓得有木有跑题呜呜 发现最近越来越喜欢中立态度了...】
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-11 17:30
TPO 20 综合
The reading passage talks about three damages caused by the "let it burn" policy, which are heavily criticized This claim completely contradicts the idea of the professor, which suggests this policy definitely have good influences.
First, the reading passage claims that the fire was detrimental to the trees and other vegetation. In contrast, the professor believes that the land which had been scorched was a better place for new plants which would increase the diversity because the fire provided opportunities for certain plants could not grow otherwise. For example, areas where trees were destroyed were taken over by smaller plants that needed open and an shaded place. What's more, seeds could survive there because they did not have to germinate in the high height places.
Second, the author states that the park wildlife was harmed too. On the contrary, the professor believes that animals could get benefits as well. The fired land replaced with small plants provided small animals, like rabbits and hares, an ideal habitat to live in. Also, predators which ate rabbits also increased, and as a result, the food chain would be stronger after the fire.
Third, according to the reading passage, the value of the tourist attraction would decrease which did harm to the national economy. However, the speaker argues that this phenomenon would not appear frequently. This time the low rainfall and strong wind cause the massive fire, which was not a frequent occurrence. But after this huge fire, this matter never occur. In the next year, the part still opens and it attracts many tourists every year.
作者: jason509 时间: 2014-9-11 23:47
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-10 21:32
TPO 19
The lecture claims that as buzzer, the description of buzzing is misleading, which apparentl ...
终于改好
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-11 23:53
thanks！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-12 19:39
jason509 发表于 2014-9-11 23:47
终于改好
谢谢！！！！~~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-12 19:42
angla 发表于 2014-9-11 23:53
thanks！
太感谢了 我也觉得这篇文章逻辑清楚 就是论证不是很有力。关键是我也不知道怎么能再加强一下... 如果有好的建议关于论证方面还望点播一下 针对这篇文章 中文的也可以.. 哎 可能是我选择的角度不是很好写。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-12 22:47
9-11
如果你的朋友在某门课需要帮忙，而你是这门课的牛人。问你认为你的朋友找你帮忙好还是找专门的tutor帮忙比较好
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-13 08:47
TPO 21 综合
The reading indicates three merits of using genetic modification to improve trees. However, the professor says there are potential problems and costs when using genetic modification method.
First, the reading says genetically modified trees are more likely to survive than unmodified trees. However, the professor refutes that genetic modified trees are unlikely to survive. Unlike unmodified trees, genetically modified trees are genetically uniform, so if they are exposed to environmental changes like climate changes that are not designed, they would all die.
Second, the reading indicates that genetically modified trees can bring lots of economic benefits. However, the professor argues that there are hidden costs of growing genetically modified trees. In fact , the seeds of genetic modified trees are more expensive and after planning those trees, farmers have to pay for the company.
Third, the reading implies that growing genetically modified trees can protect wild trees. Nonetheless, the professor thinks that actually local wild trees would be more damaged. Genetically modified trees are growing more aggressively than unmodified trees and modified frees would compete with wild trees for resource such as sunshine, soil nutrients and water. Consequenly, this situation is detrimental to wild tree’s growth.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-13 15:01
TPO 22 综合
The reading talks about three reasons of using ethanol fuel,which is supported by people to be used as the replacement of gasoline. However, the professor refutes that none of the reasons is convincing.
First, the reading says using ethanol fuel is detrimental to environment. However, the professor indicates that the use of ethanol fuel will not result in global warming. The process of growing corn, which absorb the carbon dioxide from the air, counteracts the release of carbon dioxide. So growing plants for ethanol production actually removes carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.
Second, the production of ethanol would reduce the plants needed by animals. However, the professor refutes that the production of ethanol does not reduce the resource of animals. Since people can produce ethanol using the part of plants which is not eaten by animals, the feeds of animals would not decrease.
Third, the reading implies that the price of ethanol would increase greatly. However, the professor argues that the price of ethanol fuel would compete with that of gasoline. Once people start to buy ethanol, ethanol producers would increase the production, leading to decrease of price. If ethanol production is 3 times greater than it is now, the cost would drop by 40 percent.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-13 15:06
9-12 每年上课11个月以上 学生会得到更有效的教育
作者: MrWaiting 时间: 2014-9-13 15:50
9.11改 如果你的朋友在某门课需要帮忙，而你是这门课的牛人。问你认为你的朋友找你帮忙好还是找专门的tutor帮忙比较好
sorry for the delay
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-13 22:44
by2rff9c93 发表于 2014-9-13 22:07
make a hurried journey without stop flapping in lofting,borse vuitton.
water supply and other dep ...
恩？这是？...
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-14 10:56
thanks！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-14 17:42
9-13 独立 teaching is harder than it was in the past
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-14 18:43
TPO 23综合
The reading passage indicates that scientists provide three hypotheses to explain the decline of the yellow cedar trees. However, the professor says none of the explanation is convincing.
The first hypothesis is that insect parasites, especially the cedar cark beetle cause the decline of the yellow cedar. However, the professor refutes that the beetle is not the fundamental reason. He says healthy trees are more resistant to insect infestation than unhealthy ones. The arms and leaves of the cedar trees are full of chemical which are toxic to insects. So healthy cedar trees are unlikely to suffer from insect damage. For the dead trees, they are not attacked by beetles and they are died for other reasons.
Second, the hypothesis indicates that bears’ aggressive feeding habits attribute to the decline of cedar trees. However, the professor argues that bears do not cause the overall decline of the trees. Cedar trees mainly grow in the mainland and island just off the coasts where no bears exist. The decline of island may lead to the decline of the trees and that has nothing to do with bears.
The third hypothesis implies that climate changes is the cause of the decline. However, the professor indicates that the reading neglects one important factor that majority of the trees are dying in low elevation, where is warm. As a result, the frozen effect, which appears in high elevation, has nothing to do with the decline.
作者: amylala3 时间: 2014-9-14 19:10
修改9-13
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-14 20:09
amylala3 发表于 2014-9-14 19:10
修改9-13
谢谢妹子
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-14 23:17
thanks
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-14 23:19
9.13，不好意思，写错了。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-15 09:46
angla 发表于 2014-9-14 23:19
9.13，不好意思，写错了。
哈哈 mm学傻了 学霸都是这样的 
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-15 17:38
9-14 People can take care of their family members in big cities better thanin the countryside.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-15 19:40
TPO 24 综合 【生物的感觉好难 第一次看阅读跑题 该打 听力也不是听得很好】
The reading passage indicates that the material inside T. rex’s leg bone seems to be remains of blood vessels, red blood cells, and collagen matrix.However, the professor says the finding is skeptical.
First, the reading says the presence of a substance inside channels is the indication of remains of the blood vessels. However, the professor refutes that the soft organic substances are not the remains of the blood vessels. Those substances are actually soft residue made by bacteria, which once colonized in the channel.
Second, the reading says that the presence of sphere could be the remains of red blood cells. However, the professor argues that the spheres also appeared in primitive animals’ fossils which did not include red blood cells, and the sphere may be other substances.
Third, the test showed that dinosaur leg bone contained collagen. However, the professor says finding collagen from an animal which lived 70 million years ago is contradicting the fact about how long collagen could alive. As a result, the collage may come from other much more recent sources.
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-16 10:18
The reading passage indicates that thematerial inside T. rex’s leg bone seems to be remains of blood vessels, redblood cells, and collagen matrix.However, the professor says the finding isskeptical.
PS:总述没有错误，稍微把分量倒置一下会更好，多写一些听力的句子
First, the reading says the presence of a substance inside channels is theindication of remains of the blood vessels. However, the professor refutes thatthe soft organic substances are not the remains of the blood vessels. Thosesubstances are actually soft residue made by bacteria, which once colonized inthe channel.
Second, the reading says that the presence of sphere could be the remains ofred blood cells. However, the professor argues that the spheres also appearedin primitive animals’ fossils which did not include red blood cells, and thesphere may be other substances. （pieces of reddish mineral）
Third, the test showed that dinosaur legbone contained collagen. However, the professor says finding collagen from ananimal which lived 70 million years ago is contradicting the fact about howlong collagen could alive. As a result, the collage may come from other muchmore recent sources. Probably the collagen may havecome from the skin of the researchers who are handling the bone.
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-16 11:52
People can take care of their family members in big cities better thanin the countryside.
Family provides the support and backbonethat everyone needs to feel accomplished, happy, and loved in life. Thus, familyis of great necessity in our life. Currently, urbanization has been exertingtremendous influence on people’s everyday life, especially for those settlingdown in big cities. From myperspective, individuals definitely have more chances to take care of familymembers in metropolis.
Initially,it is the medical system that has been playing a vital role in people’s qualityof life; obviously, alarge city is a place where people’s urgent medical needs could be answeredefficiently. Despite distinctive merits provided（provide） bythe countryside such as the fresh air and friendly neighbors, living in thatcondition means being far away from significant public places---hospital, movietheater, shopping mall to name few---which（where） offer great convenience to the family. Lastyear my grandma, who lived in a small village of Hebei Province, suddenly got the(a) heart attack at 11 pm（p.m.） with abrupt faint. Every second wasextremely valuable for the patient. When my grandpa got in touch with thehospital finally, he felt extremely anxious because the nurse said he(真正等救护车的应该是grandma，she) was obliged to wait the ambulanceat least 1 hour! Not only was the way from county to village very far, but alsothe rigid（可以说人，规则rigid，道路可以用muddy或者miry） road was verydifficult to drive in the evening. Although my grandma was out of woods eventually,the inconvenience of living in rural areas cannot be neglected. Indeed, thereare emergent times when a family member might become seriously ill, and in thiscase you certainly would not wait for the next week and see what could happen.For that matter, it makes sense living in a city so as to ensure that the oldand the young in the family should be under proper medical protection in time.After all, you wish to take better care of your family members, don't you?
Inaddition, there is no denying that metropolis can provide better education forchildren. In big cities, schools are filledwith high-tech equipment（+s） such as projector（+s） and laboratory equipment（+s）, which, I have to say, cannot be found inschools from rural area. For example, in my history class, Professor Sam, whodoes not read book rigidly（照本宣科：echo what the books
say 或者改下句子，he does not follow the script. 后一种说法我在wall street journal 见过 ） but showsus precious documentary film like European Renaissance. Furthermore he has shownvarious PowerPoints including pictures of historical events, like the WorldWar, helping students to remember the time and events precisely. Besides, thereare lots of methods for teachers to enhance the level of teaching in largecities, such as increasing training institutions, more seminars and moreopportunities to study abroad. Nonetheless, those opportunities are seldom inthe countryside because of poverty, leading to the fact that student’s learningright is deprived to a large extent.
In a nutshell, nothing can be compared tothe benefits that a big city has to offer for your family members, if onlyreferring to health care and quality education. People can take care of familymembers better in a large city.
每段结束能再点一下题，尤其是第二点，把题目观点再抄一遍显得会更加完整。另外第二个论据你用对比方式来展现，但是农村如何差体现性上不足
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-16 14:46
chasedreamabc 发表于 2014-9-16 11:52
People can take care of their family members in big cities better thanin the countryside.
Family pro ...
ps我在word上用equipmentS 加S显示错误！~ 所以好像是单复同形耶~~！！！
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-16 15:02
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-16 14:46
ps我在word上用equipmentS 加S显示错误！~ 所以好像是单复同形耶~~！！！
我查了一下《简明英汉字典》上面复数是+s的
回避这点可以用
facilities
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-16 18:38
9-15 作文 Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes
第三段在论述方面添加了几句别人的好句纸....希望改的小伙伴也能从中有所收获~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-16 19:32
chasedreamabc 发表于 2014-9-16 15:02
我查了一下《简明英汉字典》上面复数是+s的
回避这点可以用
facilities
gooda！~~~ 么么哒！！3Q
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-16 20:08
TPO 25 综合
The reading passage says it is unlikely that the vessels were used as electric batteries in ancient time. However, the professor indicates that all the reasons are not convincing.
First, the reading says the vessels have not been attached to some electricity conductors such as metal wires and as a result, they were not used as batteries. However, the professor refutes that it is local people who discovered those vessels, and they was not trained as professional as archaeologists. There were other materials near the location but the local people did not recognized them. Also, those materials may be overlooked. Some people even threw them away.
Second, the reading says the copper cylinders look exactly like those discovered in Seleucia where copper cylinders were used for holding scrolls instead of generating electricity. However, the professor refutes that those cylinders may originally be used as holding scrolls, but later they were used as batteries. People may find that by using the copper cylinders with iron rod and liquid, they could produce electricity. As a result, the copper were used for another purpose and the ancient batteries were first made.
Third, the reading implies ancient people have nothing to do with the electricity that generated by vessels. However, the professor argues that people would get a sensation of shock by touching the vessel, and some people used the vessel to convince other people that they have magical power. Furthermore, the current can be used to heal people and they could be used to stimulate mussel to relieve the pain. Morden doctors also use that method to cure patients.
作者: sigrid_shan 时间: 2014-9-16 21:01
加油喵喵
作者: sigrid_shan 时间: 2014-9-16 21:14
The reading passage says it is unlikely that the vessels were (says the vessels were unlikely to be) used as electric batteries in ancient time. However, the professor indicates that all the reasons are not convincing.
First, the reading says the vessels have not been attached to some electricity conductors such as metal wires and as a result（that’s to say/ it proves that…as a result在此不太合适）, they were not used as batteries. However, the professor refutes that it is local people who discovered those vessels, and they was not trained as professional as archaeologists. There were other materials near the location but the local people did not recognized them. Also, those materials may be overlooked. Some people even threw them away.
Second, the reading says（虽说综合写作不考语言还是稍微换个词嘛么么大） the copper cylinders look exactly like those discovered in Seleucia where copper cylinders were used for holding scrolls instead of generating electricity. However, the professor refutes that those cylinders may originally be used as holding scrolls, but later they were used as batteries. People may find that by using the copper cylinders with iron rod and liquid, they could produce electricity. As a result, the copper were used for another purpose and the ancient batteries were first made.
Third, the reading implies ancient people have nothing to do with（这个表达的意思似乎是与…没关系，不是拿啥没用） the electricity that generated by vessels. However, the professor argues that people would get a sensation of shock by touching the vessel, and some people used the vessel to convince other people that they have magical power. Furthermore, the current can be used to heal people and they could be used to stimulate mussel to relieve the pain. Morden doctors also use that method to cure patients.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-16 22:05
sigrid_shan 发表于 2014-9-16 21:14
The reading passage says it is unlikely that the vessels were (says the vessels were unlikely to be) ...
谢谢 我已经深深的反省过了 用词过于匮乏= =
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-17 19:41
9-16 should we always state our honest opinions, eventhough most people don't agree with you.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-17 20:44
TPO 26 综合
The reading passage indicates that the invasion of zebra mussel fish cannot be stopped and that would be detrimental to fish in North America.
First, the reading says in the history, the zebra mussels‘ spread suggests the invasion cannot be stopped easily. However, the professor refutes that in the past people had less knowledge of controlling the fish population, but currently, there are effective ways to control it. In the past, the ship took on some “ballast freshwater” in Europe and emptied it to the North America when the ship arrived, and the fresh water contained lots of zebra mussels. But the ship can be emptied out the refresh water and refilled with ocean water including salt water instead, which would kill zebra mussels.
Second, the reading proves that when zebra mussels are brought to a new habitat, they would dominate it. However, the professor refutes that the fish would not dominate because when they arrive in a new place, they would be new food resource of the birds. Also, the birds may switch to the new food instead of eating the original food, and they can eat a lot.
Finally, the reading implies that after dominating in new areas, zebra mussels would cause a decline in the fish population. Nonetheless, the professor assets that although zebra mussels have some negative effects on some fish species, they do have positive effects on other fish. They can generate some nutrients which benefit the bottom-feeding fish, even for fish eating plankton. As a result, the fish population would not decline overall
作者: echosun2002 时间: 2014-9-17 21:31
For the sake of building trust with friends, coworkers and business partners, and achieving better results in various projects, some people are convinced that they are supposed to tell their real thoughts even though others may hold adverse opinions. I agree with such a practice for the simple reason that sincerely communication is the key of a delightful and successful life.
Initially, there is no denying that we are doing our utmost to pursue dreams and use other people’s successful experience as references, but to be the elite among ordinary people, we are obliged to have unique ideas rather than cater to other individuals blindly. Sometimes we have unpractical goals and we are longing for achieving them, but unfortunately the enthusiasm would be hit by parents or friends. In this circumference, not only should we state our opinions boldly and honestly but also we ought to stick to those seemingly unrealistic targets（很棒的倒装！）, since we should be responsible for our own life. For example, I was very tall in my childhood and I did admire those girls who danced ballet elegantly. I was eager to take the extra-curricular class of ballet but the teacher refused me immediately and said my physical character was not suitable for dancing. So anxious I was that I said no matter what outcome would come out(这样的倒装，赞！学习了！), I had to try in case of regretting（理解无能：是说努力不要后悔的意思吗？）. Thanks to my honesty and bravery, I got access to learn the graceful and beautiful dance, which was the corner stone of my future success---the first rank of ballet competitions in Beijing. In addition, what I want to convey is that unrealistic dreams make life more vivid and full of hope. As we are still young, we need to preserve a stream of enthusiasm and stubbornness to go after our dreaming targets instead of compromising with other people’s opinions.
Furthermore, we need to talk frankly with our coworkers and business partners as well, so as to increase our work efficiency, explore full business potential and minimize the chance to make mistakes. Various ideas are allowed in business circumference and we are supposed to speak out loudly of our opinions regardless others' doubts and oppositions. It is universally acknowledged that Steve Jobs was bold and blunt. When everyone challenged his idea of emphasizing iPhone's innovative features, he insisted his idea and convinced those who didn't believe in him. Obviously IPhone 4 had a distinctive outlook, especially touch panel, and operating system, i.e. IOS, which were completely contrary to Nokia, but Steve Jobs still persisted the new area of smart phone would turn up. Also, he introduced the new potential market and customers and other overwhelming merits of the innovation; consequently the majority of workers were shocked by the intelligence and insight. No doubt, at last, Steve Job’s idea turned out to be a great success. If Steve he hadn't been completely honest with his colleagues, we wouldn't have witnessed such revolution the Apple Company has brought.
Admittedly, sometime we have to say white lies, especially for patients, but the reason why we deceive them transiently is that we want to provide them hope and energy. However, when we do our personal things, we have to stick to the faith and should not suppress our enthusiasm and willingness. Otherwise, we have to shoulder the regret from the bottom of heart in later time.
In a nutshell, I think we should tell our opinions regardless others' doubts and oppositions.
我是来学习的，哈哈，三点体会：论点紧扣论题；例子非常棒而且充分证明的论点；词汇量大而且句式多样，看得我眼花缭乱。这篇美文我收藏了，多谢啦，另外你可以给我一个邮箱，我把当时GMAT的一些资料发给你，希望可以有用。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-17 23:21
echosun2002 发表于 2014-9-17 21:31
For the sake of building trust with friends, coworkers and business partners, and achieving bet ...
亲爱的！！能给我挑错么！！！！肯定有错误！！！希望狠批！！！！
作者: echosun2002 时间: 2014-9-18 09:10
以我目前的水平还真是挑不出来错，我用易改软件检查了一下你的作文，显示用词出色，一个语法错误，我看了一下，这个错误是题目中should首字母没大写，
。
我会努力提升自己实力的哈，不然给你们改作文真是提不出有用的建议。
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-18 11:23
这次有明显失误
作者: cherry6891 时间: 2014-9-18 16:49
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-3 21:31
9-3 独立Do you agree or disagree? The best way for a teacher to let students become interested in a ...
亲爱滴 我改了一版，另外找了朋友帮你又改了一次，我凭记忆把他修改的地方标了一下，表达应该比较地道，他的母语是英语，共同学习啦
9-3 独立Do you agree or disagree? The best way for a teacher to let students become interested in a subject is to help them know how to use it in lives outside schools（已修改）
Nowadays, education has been performing an important role in the growth of society. Teachers always exert huge influence on a student’s interest in a subject. There is no denying that our interests are subject to influence by many things. However, I disagree that the best way for a teacher to let students become interested in a subject is through their lives outside school.
First of all, the teachers’ encouragements have always simulated the students’ interests. As the saying goes, “The confidence you have within yourself is the first step to success”. Therefore, building and having confidence is the main driving force for students to learn. Without the confidence that students need, they will lack the passion and desire to learn. The beginning and end of every school year, a common trait has usually occurs. In the beginning, the students’ confidence is rather weak and embedded with low self-esteem. Teachers carry the responsibilities to encourage and better their students when they feel discouraged or disappointed. The encouragement offered should induce confidence and strengthen the student’s interest since they rely heavily on their teacher’s teachings. I was once interested in Financial Management in Accounting, but was easily distraught when I started to learn about the Fluctuation of International Interest Rate. I felt beaten and nearly gave up. Nevertheless, my tutor soon gave me lots of useful tips and indentified my misunderstanding. His help has provided me a new fond connection towards this subject. This has consequently aroused my interest and it filled me with the confidence that I needed to continue my education.
Secondly, a teacher’s teaching style is the fundamental effect on a student’s interest on a subject. For example, some people believe and feel that history is boring, but thanks to my humorous and talented teacher, it is the most intriguing subject that I have ever learned. He passionately retells historical events in a way for us to remember history without much effort. He often encourages discussion and debates and effectively fulfills the atmosphere with historic stories. Also, he always introduced us to documentary films to retell these historical events. One such film was the “European Renaissance”. I was deeply attracted by the eminent masterpiece of Leonardo Da Vinci, Raphael, and Michelangelo. Since then, I have been immersed in European culture and ecstatic about appreciating Leonardo’s painting like the “The Last Supper”. As a result, we felt stimulated and have retained knowledge from the teachings of our history teacher.
In summary, knowing how to use one subject outside of school can provide students with lots of motivation. However, I do not believe it can arouse one’s interest because students chase their desires and will ignore the voice from their deepest part of their heart, which is their genuine interest. There exist lots of significant factors that produce huge influences on a student’s interest. A teacher is someone who inspires students to become something bigger and achieve something greater. A teacher will teach students how to fish rather than handing them the fish.
他对楼主的评价是用词高级，句式有变化，但就是有些地方不通顺
有时间也帮我看看我的作文吧，http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-918378-1-1.html，先谢谢啦，么么哒！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-18 21:06
9.17
独立：人们应该坚持具有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想
光顾着改别人作文都忘了贴出来自己的了..... 希望木有跑题哈哈 改作文的妹子一定要下手狠啊！！~~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-18 22:42
9-17 综合 第一个点第一次听的时候听错了.... 有点沾边但是逻辑意思不对..... 所以.... 哎
In the reading passage, there are causes ofthe formation of Little Ice Age. However, the professor refutes that thosereasons are out of date, and there are new information provided.
First, the reading says it is thedisruption of ocean currents that caused the cooling effect, and Little Ice Ageoccurred. However, the professor argues that the disruption merely exerted cooling effect on the North America, and the reason offered cannot explain the same phenomenon in the south area such as New Zealand(真的不会拼) and South Africa, whichcould also be affected by the Little Ice Age. [第二遍应该听对了吧]
Second, the reading implies that volcaniceruption resulted in the Little Ice age, but the professor totally disagrees with this reason. He says the dust can cause striking visual effects such as the colorful sunlight and snow appeared as brown or grey color instead of whitecolor. However, there were no routinely report for the effect. So, the effectof volcanic eruption did not produce such a strong effect that could lower thetemperature.
Last, the reading believes the tremendous decreases in human population would lead to the cooling effect and result in Little Ice Age. However, the professor argues that people would quickly grow back to the normal level. Also, the forest would be cut in accordance with theincreasing population which needs agriculture. As a result, there would existenough carbon dioxide to keep the Earth warm.
自我反思 字数少 记笔记的习惯不好！！！怎么破！！！！又要fair了么！！
作者: sigrid_shan 时间: 2014-9-18 23:27
反正我来晚了。。。先占个坑开始改
发现有人改的很用心呢额，我的你看看就好，去碎了明儿还上班T，T
作者: cherry6891 时间: 2014-9-18 23:34
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-18 21:06
9.17
独立：人们应该坚持具有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想
人们应该坚持自己有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想
Constantly reaching higher goals should be everyone’s eternal pursuit, and we definitely have various dreams in our long life journeys. Some of them are easy to achieve while others need double or even triple efforts and do not necessarily come into reality. From my perspective, unrealistic dream and practical dream are of the same significance.
Initially, in some circumstance we have to confront the reality which cannot be avoided for everyone. In China, College Entrance Examination is the most appropriate example. Unlike students in other developed countries who can start a business early and strive for it, almost every student in China has to achieve an excellent score in the College Entrance Examination---the unique gateway to success to a large extent. According to a survey conducted by China Daily, nearly 10 billion students attended that examination in 2011. That’s a striking number, right? For the children from impoverished family from（of更通顺吧） the rural area, merely obtaining a decent score can they get(去掉不过guarentee又和下面重复了) guarentee a better education and get rid of poverty. What I want to convey is that, students have no choice but do their utmost to get a higher score---the guarantee of future prospect. Consequently, it is of huge necessity for students to tackle the mere difficulty confidently. Although students have some unrealistic dreams like becoming a spaceman, the priority for him to realize his dream is getting through the gateway---passing the minimum score---of the China's aviation and Aerospace University. In short, sometimes we are obliged to encounter the reality and the only method to be outstanding is （应该加个to吧）conquer it!
On the other hand, I want to talk about the significance of having some unrealistic dreams（挑战性和不切实际不一样吧）.（另外这里是不是也要一个主题句啊？我拟了一个 你看看行不行pursuiting challenge dreams can make life to be an interesting venture and achieve the potential we never know） There is no denying that when we pursue seemingly unrealistic dreams, we tend to work much harder for it. As human nature includes laziness, we tend to relax when we do not have a goal which is difficult to achieve. When chasing unrealistic dreams, it is frustrations and challenges that enables （主谓不一致）people to become increasing mature（感觉increasing累赘 可去掉） and confident. For instance, every year I do my utmost to obtain the first-class scholarship, which is for the most outstanding student. Although the goal seems unachievable, I still have the faith of（have faith in sb/sth固定搭配 已查字典） becoming the most excellent one. Hence I exert tremendous effect on every homework, quiz, paper, research, and definitely final examination. During this process, I have to sacrifice the recreational time with classmates and work harder to catch elites in my class. When finally awarded that honor, I suddenly realized that saying---success is not an event, it is a journey. Thanks to my tough goal, I break the limit of myself over and over.
Furthermore, unrealistic dreams make life more vivid and full of hope. As we are still young, we need to preserve a stream of enthusiasm and stubbornness to go after a difficult target. I believe the motif of an excellent life journey lies in the process of striving. If we find an easy job to do and never try to make some changes in life, how can we really understand the beauty of life which lies in challenges? I used to run a 2400-meter running contest which I was not good at (this sporting item可以去掉就改成定于从句了). However, I would like to challenge my physical limit through the participation. Finally, I finished the 2400-meter running task in front of ( 感觉ahead of 好一点)my friends and parents. I was deeply proud of myself although （even though好一点 表让步 即使）I did not rank in top three. Through the process of going after a hard target, I begin to understand that changes in life is necessary if we do not want to regret for the plainness （是想表达平淡吗 ？）of our life journey in our 60s.
In conclusion, both practical and unrealistic dreams are of the same significance in our life, and we are supposed to fulfill them with huge efforts
比我写的好太多啦 是修改也是学习 结尾是不是有点弱？我也是刚开始准备作文 修改了语法 框架自己还在摸索中 看看有木有牛牛提供框架上的建议吧
PS： 我是打酱油的 楼上修改过再回来学习下
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-18 23:46
cherry6891 发表于 2014-9-18 23:34
人们应该坚持自己有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想
Constantly reaching higher goals should be ev ...
谢谢mm 你可以买本十天突破托福essay... 最简单的办法 也不用看别人咋写的了
作者: cherry6891 时间: 2014-9-19 08:06
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-18 23:46
谢谢mm 你可以买本十天突破托福essay... 最简单的办法 也不用看别人咋写的了
...
好 谢谢妹纸
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-19 08:37
sigrid_shan 发表于 2014-9-18 23:27
反正我来晚了。。。先占个坑开始改
谢谢加油上班犬 噗嗤 大四犬为你喝彩~~！！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-19 21:53
网不好作文传不上来了。。。先占个坑。。。。。。。
9-18 独立
Now more and more people are spending money on their pets,even though there can be other good ways to spend money.
写的一般 还超时了捶死我吧
作者: echosun2002 时间: 2014-9-20 14:59
It has been publically recognized that pet(the pet, 可数名词不能单独出现) has been increasingly acknowledgedas one of the most essential parts of modernpeople’s life. Although populace’s lifestyle has changed drastically in therecent centuries, the function of domestic animals or pets has not changedmuch, in which, they are human’s eternal friends and companion（复数形式） for all thetime.From my perspective, indeed, there are increasinglyindividualswho are keen on spendingmoney on their pet（pets）, even though that treasure can be utilized in other ways.
Initially, despite various health care products, suchas Nutrilite, have been surging in the market, spending money on pets is abetter way for people to enhance their health.There isno denying that by raising a pet such as a dog, the master definitely need（needs） tospend more time on outdoor activities with their pets. Last year I bought anadorable Teddy bear which has been adding color to the dull routine of everydaylife. Apparently, this lovely creature requires two walks a day---one inmorning and one in evening. So indoorsy I am that I barely went out beforeowning the dog; consequently, my physical fitness has been bothering me.However, after having Luna, the name of my Teddy Bear, I nearly spend three hourswalking with him every day. Smelling the fragrance of grass and the flowers,hearing the twitter of birds, and feeling breeze（the breeze，可数名词） on my face enables(enable,动名词做主语是单数，但是由and连接的多个概念不一样的动名词应该是复数的概念) me topossess a delight（delightful, delight people's mood） mood as well as a robust body. Previously, I used to catch acold easily when feeling a little bit cold, quite a weak person right?Nonetheless, with my persistence of(查了很多资料，觉得还是persistence in walking比较合适，persistence of一般后面接名词表示什么什么的持久性) walking with Luna, I have not suffered fromany disease anymore.
Furthermore, it is pets that provide us (+with)variable andunforgettable emotions which cannot be effortlessly replaced by other commodity.I still remember that several years ago, when my mumtook two little turtles home and told me that they were two new members of our family,I was extremely excited. From then on, I cleaned their jar, fed them and caredabout their growing everyday as if I was(were, 虚拟语气应该用were) their mother. Though I spent a lot ofmy pocket money on buying the fresh shrimp and other necessaries for them, Iwas enjoying the days with them. The happiness and sense of satisfaction fromraising pets far surpassed the money I spent. Moreover, the importance of petsis much more remarkable to some people, who live alone, especially those oldpeople without children. Under this circumstance, the pets are not only pets;they are more likely to be companions to people, in mentally. The scene that aloyal dog accompanies an old man to the end always seems toughing. Therefore,even though it is usually not a small amount of money to raise pets, more andmore people are willing to pay for this in order to achieve the sense ofbelonging, safety and happiness.
In conclusion, it is worthy(worthwhile, it's worthy后面跟名词，或者of+名词，it is worthwhile可以跟to do/doing，表示值得做某事) to spend moneyon raising a pet. In the near future, it could be expected that the importanceof pets would continue to increase, and being(be,这里and应该是连接would后面两个动词continue和be，平行结构动词形态一致) recognized by more people.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-20 23:04
9-19 ：people should not have to pay for the public transportation.
这种大的话题真心不知道怎么写 唯有看看范文 跪拜一下... 就没有然后了....
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-21 11:20
例子可以再好好想想
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-22 01:07
9-20
第二段可以更丰满一些 大晚上快死了 求指导。话说再来个让步也不错。。。。。
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-22 11:43
可以不用写让步段，2个点也可以。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-22 19:31
9-21 独立 在经济危机时期，政府将减少公共开支，以下三项可以削减哪一个？教育，医疗保障，失业保障
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-23 22:19
先说一句SORRY 因为周末就要考试了 所以这两天打算写两篇基金作文 就先不写队长留的题目了 不知道可不可以......修改的小伙伴有空就看看 我也会很认真的给你们修改的~ 就这两天~~
9-22 It is easier for people today tobecome educated than it was in the past
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-23 22:37
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-22 19:31
9-21 独立 在经济危机时期，政府将减少公共开支，以下三项可以削减哪一个？教育，医疗保障，失业保障 ...
满分，考场作文的最高水准了
标准三段论，层次清晰，论点逻辑清楚
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-23 23:04
thanks
i have studied much from you!
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-24 21:56
9-23 独立！！！~~ 今天也是写了一篇基金作文 求指点! 求狠批 万一考到了呢！哈哈~~~
老掉牙的题目~
Which way do you think is the best way for a student to make new friends?
a. Joining a sports team,
b.Participating in community activities
c.Traveling.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-25 13:23
thanks very much
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-25 19:42
嘿嘿 今天再写一篇基金~~希望能考到！！~~ 辛苦mm了！~ 老掉牙的题目！！~~
Students should take at least one year off to work or travel after high school before they go to study at a university.
作者: amylala3 时间: 2014-9-25 22:27
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-25 19:42
嘿嘿 今天再写一篇基金~~希望能考到！！~~ 辛苦mm了！~ 老掉牙的题目！！~~
Students should take at least ...
写得很赞，先不说看起来很美观，字斟句酌的句式，单说字数都有550了诶，而且没啥错。所以我真的想弱弱的问一句你是在30mins之内打出来的吗？自己有改过吗？如果真的限时并且没改过，我觉得你真的不用再练作文了，考场如果能写成这样必满了啊，留着时间干点别的吧哈哈哈，如果不是那我建议限一下时间哈
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-25 23:37
amylala3 发表于 2014-9-25 22:27
写得很赞，先不说看起来很美观，字斟句酌的句式，单说字数都有550了诶，而且没啥错。所以我真的想弱弱的问 ...
恩恩自己有改过~
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