ChaseDream

标题: Sherryzhangh 　加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号 [打印本页]

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-7 17:19
标题: Sherryzhangh 　加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号
it is more important to choose friends that 更能 have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them..

Some people think choose fun friend it’s more important than the friend is needed, Because life is short and miserable, choose fun friend can help us bring more happiness than the needed. What I am thinking is needed friend is like every day meal. You cannot leave with out them. But fun friend is like after meal desert, if you have them in your life it become more colorful than ever. Those are the things you can’t live without it. Therefore I think fun friend and needed friend are equally important.

For example, When you want to solve an difficulty issue, you probably want a friend who can help than a friend who is funny and capable of make jokes about it, anyway, the priority of you at the moment is solve the issue not complaint or laugh about it. It only can make things worth when you bring a funny friend to a disaster.

But when you are ready to having fun after the issue was cleaned. You probably want to get a fun friend to have a drink; of course you should bring your needed helped friend with you to celebrate. Fun friend can help you to lose pressure, get ready for the new challenge. So in some level they also “helped” you when you needed to comfort yourself. Other than helping you in the issues, they help you tomake you a happier person.

In a summarize, what kind of friend is more important than other depends on the situation, But friends is not a thing, they are human being, and they made our life more meaningful and enjoyable, we should not label them or classified them who is important than other.

作者: annyhelijun 时间: 2012-7-8 09:09
it is more important to choose friends that 更能 have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them..

Some people think choose choosing fun friend it’s more important than the friend is needed, Because life is short and miserable, choose fun friend choosing fun with friend can help us bring more happiness than the needed. What I am thinking is needed friend is like every day meal. You cannot leave with out without them. But fun friend is like after meal desert, if you have them in your life it become more colorful than ever. Those are the things you can’t live without it. Therefore I think fun friend and needed friend are equally important.

For example, When you want to solve an difficulty issue, you probably want a friend who can help than a friend who is funny and capable of make jokes about it, anyway, the priority of you at the moment is to solve the issue not complaint or laugh about it. It only can make things worth when you bring a funny friend to a disaster.

But when you are ready to having fun after the issue was cleaned. You probably want to get a fun friend to have a drink; of course you should bring your needed helped friend with you to celebrate. Fun friends can help you to lose pressure, get ready for the new challenge. So in some level they also “helped” you when you needed to comfort yourself. Other than helping you in the issues, they help you tomake you a happier person.

In a summarize, what kind of friend is more important than other depends on the situation, But friends is not a thing, they are human being, and they made our life more meaningful and enjoyable, we should not label them or classified them who is important than other.

总体来说写的还可以的，但是觉得字数有些不够，内容还没有展开，请以后多加注意！！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-8 16:50
标题: 7月8号独立作文

One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help?

When it comes to some one should get help from me or a professional tutor with some schoolwork, It should also depends on the issue that he is facing whether or not I have the ability to solve. I always give them the help when they need with all my effort. Cause helping others can also make myself learn new things. But on the other hand, if I can’t help at all, he probably should find a professional tutor to deal it.

Take the recent schoolwork of one of my classmate as an example, He need to write a report about how the parentstakes whether or not the child should have an ipad, for organize this report he should do amount of interviews with young parents, and he only have 1 day to prepare all the interviews, So he come to me for help, in that case we worked separately can collect more interview sources in order to have a integrated report. For that kind of helping it’s not wise to ask a professional tutor to help, They might have thousands of other important things to do and it’s inappropriate to let a tutor to do a research job.

When should he or her come to a professional tutor for help instead of me, let' take another example, One time one of my classmates needs to do a schoolwork involved with lab experiment on one of the brand new field. if he came to me for help, I would only have the experience as much as he does. It would be impossible for me to give him any creative support, In that case he probably should find a professional tutor to guide, The tutor can help him with his experience and he can also get help from other related professor as long as any new incidents happened. Which for sure would be more helpful than me.

In Summary, it’s really depends on the issues that we facing. But it always welcome when classmates comes to me for helping.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-8 16:53
多谢指教！共勉！：）

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-9 22:30
标题: 交作业 7月9号，欢迎拍砖！

7月9日

Do you agree with the viewpoint that the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees?

When it comes to the most important investment of a company people tend to various. Some believes improve the skill of its employees is the priority of the company. While others asserted that invest in high tech equipment will fast the productivity of the company. Some claimed that advertising will made the company well known. In my point of view, those of the strategies are all essential to a company, what is the most important invest it’s really depends on the situation of the company.

What makes a company successfully, perfect product? Indeed. But let's drink the water without forgets the well digger. It’s the employee who made the irresistible products. In another word. Employee is the basic of the cooperate. When a company wants to be strong and competitive. The human resources should be the key of the success. To cultivate a group of talented and loyalty employee should be the first priority of one company. Take the example of my current company, when the new hire onboard, company will provide a list of training program for them, it’s a big plus for some new-graduated, cause it does a great deal of advantage for them to grow and have a better career in the future. And moreover, because of this, the company attracts even more of the talents coming, it not only buildup a positive cycle and environment for the whole cooperate. It also established a solid foundation for the company to develop and grow bigger and stronger.

However it’s not wise to neglect other aspects of the company that needs to invest. Take one of the beer factories as an example, in my hometown, there is a beer factory covered a huge amount of acres, they have big production space. But their equipment it’s a little out of date, to become more competitive than other, the first thing they need to do it’s invest the money on the equipment to enhance their productivity ability. And moreover what if they could reach the expected productivity, and they have tons of beer in the storage house. Now their priority obviously it’s advertising it and sells it. So invest in advertising seems the right thing to do now.

To sum up, what is the most important invest for company should be depends on the varioussituations and certain period of time of the company’s development phase.

作者: DanielleZ 时间: 2012-7-10 18:11
Dear Sherry, 改完啦~文章的两个例子举得非常合适，很自然。
我觉得两边好处都写的文章挺考查功力的，所以我一般不敢轻易尝试。但是sherry这篇写的挺好的。
比较清楚。里面有点小问题，我标记出来了。加油哈~

When it comes to the mostimportant investment of a company,people tend to various opinions. Some believes improve the skill of its employeesis the priority of the company. While others asserted that invest in high techequipment will fast the productivity of the company. Some claimed thatadvertising will made the company wellknown. In my point of view, those of the strategies are all essential toa company, what is the mostimportant invest it’s really depends on the situation of the company.

Whatmakes a company successfully, perfect product? Indeed. But let's drink the waterwithout forgets the well digger. It’s theemployee who made the irresistible products. In another(other) word. Employee is the basic(basis) of the cooperate. When a company wantsto be strong and competitive. The(,the这两句话应该是从句吧？ ) human resourcesshould be the key of the success. To cultivate a group of talented and loyaltyemployee should be the first priority of one company. Take the example of my currentcompany, when the newhire(我查了一下，hire好像没有雇员的意思。如果确实能这样用，请忽略我这句话哈~) onboard, company willprovide a list of training programs for them, it’s a big plus for some new-graduated, cause(过于口语化，建议用because) it does a great deal of advantage for them togrow and have a better career in the future. And moreover, because of this, thecompany attracts even more of the talents coming, it not only buildup a positivecycle and environment for the whole cooperate. It(建议改成but) also established a solid foundation for the company to develop and growbigger and stronger.

Howeverit’s not wise to neglect other aspects of the company that needs to invest. Takeone of the beer factories as an example, in myhometown, there is a beer factory covered a huge amount of acres, they have big production space. But theirequipment it’s a little out of date(我觉得这两句话可以用定语从句写，会简洁一点),to become more competitive than other, the first thing they need to do it’s(is to) invest the money on the equipments toenhance their productivity ~~ability~~. ~~And~~ moreover what if they could reachthe expected productivity, and theyhave tons of beer in the storage house(仓库一般写的是warehouse). Now their priority obviously it’s advertisingit and sells it. So invest(investing)in advertising seems the right thing to do now.(我觉得这句话可以不加,或者写成to do the next step也行)

Tosum up, what is the most importantinvest(investment) for company should be depends on the varioussituations and certain period oftime of the company’s development phase.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-11 10:18
标题: 谢谢!
多谢鼓励,我其实也很困惑,我到底是应该偏执的同意一种意见,还是两边都阐述一下, 我的思维方式倾向于两边都作阐述,可是很多人都说老美倾向于选择鲜明的立场, 然后举例论证, 两边都阐述给人一种没有立场的感觉. 困惑ING呀

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-11 10:34
7月10日自我感觉严重跑题,虎头蛇尾...
Do you agree with the following statement that patience is usually not a good strategy, we should take action now rather than later

When it comes to encounter a difficulty issue come people tend to take action immediately while some others prefer to wait a little bit, Be patience to figure out what is the core of the issue, then take actions, for me, I think what is the best strategy is really depend on the situations.

To begin with when an issue came out, usually is not the superficial thing we see, the cause of it might hidden under the superficial phenomenon, what we need to do it’s look through it and find out what is the truth behind the vile, For doing that we need to be patience and thought it through. Take the business strategy as an example, One of the company want to merge and acquisition with another company, although the selling company claim themselves in a perfect asset and financial status quo, But as the buyer need to invest a huge amount of money and it might be put them into a dangerous situation, So they need to be patience and finish the all the relative Due diligent and valuation, then make the final decision, In a word, when it comes to business, patience and then take actions becomes a reasonable procedures.

However, sometimes take the actions right away according to the instinct can prevent the catastrophic happens; It’s like somebody punch you at the face and your basic instinct ion is to shy away. This action should be taken right away otherwise you will be ending up in the hospital. Take the against the terrorism as an example. If the security has one hesitant about their judge, The London subway exploded would be happened and thousands of victims will be buried in it. Under this circumstance efficient action will be the good strategy. Some opportunities are like a meteor flying, if you missed it, you never will get it again.

In sum up, speed and reasonable judgment and take action accordingly would be the best strategy for all.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-11 23:00
标题: 7月11号，独立作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that it is good for children to have similar jobs with you.

Traditionally, people tend to assert it is sagacious if the children can inherit the business from their father, which means have similar job. Master’s son will still be master, iron crafts man’s son incline to be iron crafts man too. Because life environment does a great deal in forming people’s character and interests. They are easy to be attracted by the things that they are familiar with. However, I still think children may have different interest despite all the convenience the father provided.

To begin with, Children are individuals who capable of possess independent willingness. They have their own will to live their own life. They are tending to desire the things, which their father incapably to achieve or the things that they are lack of during their childhood. To have a similar job with their father isn’t satisfied with such desires. Take the French King Louis 16 as an example. His strong personal will is to became a lock man, he has significant interests in locks and so indulged himself into the lock world that he lost his country. What a tragedy. He could be a happen lock man instead of loser king.

Moreover, The children lives in a dynamic world, they encounter all kindsof things and events everyday, some willsow a seed in their heart and influence for the rest of their life. Take the famous movie director Woody Allen as an example, he grow up in a conservativeJewish family, his father is a worker, they live in Brooklyn, when he was a child he often go the movie theater watch movies, this could be the earliest inspiration for him to become a great movie director. And it’s really hasnothing to do with his father, what his father really did is give him life and raising him up.

Admittedly, genes also play a significant deal of role in this matters, like father, like sons, father can provideconveniences, experiences to their children which make the path easier for them to adventure, they might accomplish the goal their parents never be able to achieve. Nevertheless, it’s still depends on the children whether or not they are willing to take this path.

In conclusion, I tend to disagree the children should have the similar job with parents. It’s all about the willingness of the children.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-13 10:27
标题: 交作业 7月12号
7月12日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that colleges or universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

When it come to graduate season, youcould always see youngsters dress up properly to running in different companies for job hunting, for some who realized the manner of interview and understand the work filed better, It’s undoubting they will get the favorable of HR, However, Not everyone who just came into the work field understand that. It seems becomes relatively important for colleges and universities to offer such courses to prepare students for a better future.

To begin with, as more and more youngster have the access to apply universities education, which means a single job will have more than you could imaging’s qualified candidates apply for that. The low demanding and high providing make this competition severe. The university who offer the students better prepare courses will definitely improve their competition capability. Take the university I went for example. I was major in English Tourism, and it’s not even a very popular major compare with financial and media. But our department dean arranges a list of course that help to understand each industrial’s character and what kind of talent they really pursuing for now, which significantly help us to open our eyes and minds to understand better. In the end, a lot of my classmates find the job they really loved even they were competing with some experiences candidates.

In addition, even after the candidates get the job, it will benefits too if the universities offers more course of preparation. In some level, Universities or colleges graduates are more pensionable compare with the experienced candidates. This advantage makes the company willing to give them opportunities to develop themselves. And with the passionate and the experience they get from the university and company, they might be able to create a miracle.

Admittedly, colleges or universities prepare class will only help students in some level, it’s not like a mysteries pill after you took everything will be fine, the students have to really take this seriously and work hard on it.

In conclusion, It’s does great deal a help if the students can apply it properly. The opportunities always favor those who better prepared.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-16 17:47
标题: 补交作业
7月14日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that the advices from our grandparents have no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years

Grandparents always saying, even the bridges that I walked through are more than the road that you have passed through. Which means they had lived so long and gone through so much and that assured they have ability to give us advises when we needed it. But is it true? As far as I am concerned, I tend to disagree with it.

To begin with, nowadays, the world had been changed tremendously, The internet, high technology had change the way of people’s living style, and the way of people communicate with each other. If you try to take the advises of how can you improve your ability of in the internet related area grandparents will be confused. Take the example of my grandparents; if I ask them do they know how to twitter my photos online and Facebook with my friends, they will assume that I am talking nonsense.

Moreover, as the age goes older, grandparents tend to become stubborn and conservative. They usually not willing to accepted new things thus they won’t be able to advise us due to their lack of such experiences. Take my grandmother as example, in her opinion that girls should get married and raising children instead of work outside like a man, so if I try to get help from her about the work related problems it will frustrated us both.

Admittedly, Grandparents could give us advises regarding to some psychological issue, such as life puzzles, how do you adjust your attitude etc.

In such cases they are experienced more than us and they are capable of giving us advises, at least some moral support.

In conclude, I believe the world had changed and grandparents won’t be able to adapt themselves in the mainstream of the world, hence it would be highly possible that they can’t offer you valuable advises.

TPO 7
The reading passagefocus on the issue of whether the American wood company should try to get the ecocertification or not, the professor’s lecture deals the same question as the reading passage, The reading passage thinks the company should not pay too much attention and efforts to the ecocertificates because of the custom doesn't care. But the professor’s assertion which is contradiction to the reading, of course the company should try to get the ecocertifications, and he argues it back with three points to defend his claims.

To begin with the reading passage think the advertising of the ecocertification of the products won't attracts the consumers at all, but the professor argues that the American consumer actually don't treat the advertising the same between the advertising is about the factory itself claimed or the third independent organizations, in this case, the ecocertification is the international organization which is aim to protect the world , so the professor assert that the consumers will pay a significant of attentions to the products if it has ecocertification.

Secondly, the reading passage point out that to achieve this ecocertification the company has to cost more hence the price of the products will get higher, but the professor argues that everyone care about the price, but the consumer only care when 2 competitions product have similarly quality but the price is very much different, if the price different and controlled in less than 5%, the American consumer will tend to get the one with the ecocertification, plus ,the American consumer cares a great deal matters about the environment protection, so actually the ecocertification likely will get more consumers than the opposite.

Thirdly, of course the company should pursuing the certification in order to get a strong competition ground, otherwise the foreign competition will crowed in to American to get the domestic costumer.

In conclusion, the professors clearly identified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly show that the central argument in the reading passage that the company should not pursue to get the ecocertification is indefensible.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-16 23:46
标题: 交作业

The way a person dressed is a good indication of her/his personality and character.

When Apple launches an new product, CEO Steven Jobs will do presentation in front of all the media from all of the world, he always wear a black turtle neck sweater, and a jeans, black shoes, Since jobs already left us, this has never changed, and never will. From his way of dressed, we could easily observe Jobs was kind of person, which is simple, unique, different with other businessman, consistently focus on one ultimate thing, quality. So I tend to agree that person’s dress show her/his personality and character.

To begin with, people’s preference to color show’s personality and mood, The bright color always express the energetic, youth. The dark color usually represented calm, cool and sophisticated. Take suite man for example, in the serious business world, dark color suit usually is the first choice, but the shirt they are wearing can perfectly indicated their preferenceand character, choosing pink color shirt usually are confidents and feel good about themselves kind of person, choosing white color usually are conservative and conventional. Choosing blue colors are kind of romantic and passionate.

Secondly, the dress style people choosing also can indicated their personality and character.Some people is very fashionable, they always wear the most” In” clothes. Which means they are easy to accepted new things but too into their looks. Some people are conservative and always wear “90th” clothes, they usually very stubborn and have tedious life. Some people are favor classic style, which means they are obsess with the quality and very high demanding about every thing. Some people dressed very casual, who indicated they are relaxing kind of person, usually take on things easily.

Thirdly, the way of people dressed also indicated their social status, occupations, moreover, their personality and characters. Forexample, Lawyer always dressed with suite to show how serious and sharp they are, But artist is quite the opposite, they wear everything except the conventional suite in order to express how unique and different they are.

In summary, I tend to agree dress style is a good indication of a person’s character and personality.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-18 23:50
标题: 交作业
7月18号：
Because of the world is changing so quickly, People now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.

Currently, the economy has been far more developed than the past, although the competition in the society is fiercer than before, pressures of life and work very much intense, But people at least do not need to worry about food and place to live, in some level people just harder to get pleased and not so easier to get satisfied due to the human nature of greedy. As for as I am concerned, people are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past, when you ask them what you want, they always say I want more.

To begin with, although a lot of people have the access to higher education, but after graduate their expectation on job hunting become relatively high, even with the booming economic the competition for job positions still fierce, so a lot of people think they are qualified for the occupation they wanted but only few can get the offer, for those of the unlucky candidates they might have to take less exciting and less paid job to make living, This would definitely make them less happy, according to the poll research, most of the people are unsatisfied with their current situations and want to change.

Moreover, people tend to own things instead of just enjoy them, Take current China as an example, traditionally, Chinese people think they should possess a house when they live independently, own a house can improve their secure feelings, and it is essential for a guy to started a family, because of the high demanding of the house market, the price of the house become ridiculous high, especially big cities like Beijing, Shang Hai and Shenzhen. For those didn’t catch of the opportunities of purchase a house before it gets high, the current situation just made them more desperate than before.

Admittedly, There always happy persons, because they didn’t focus their life on the materials, they just very happy with their moderate life, But this thing only happened in small places, where is less competition and less pressure.

In sum up, every decades and times has its own issue, People are harder to be pleased.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-19 10:43
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
Currently, the economy has been far more developed than the past,（.）although the competition in the society(去掉) is fiercer than before, pressures of life and work （少谓语）very much intense,（.） But people at least do not need to worry about food and place to live, in some level people just harder（这个是什么做谓语额，adj还是比较级） to get pleased and not so easier to get satisfied due to the human nature of greedy. As for as I am concerned, people are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past, （.）(such as for example or for instance)when you ask them what you want, they always say I(they 或者加上:”)want more.

To begin with, although a lot of people have the access to higher education,(although and but 不能联用) but after graduate（after后面要么加名词，要么加动名词） their expectation on job hunting become relatively high, （.）even with the booming economic the competition for job positions still fierce, （.）so a lot of people think they are qualified for the occupation they wanted but only few can get the offer, （.）for those of the unlucky candidates they might have to take less exciting and less paid job to make living,（.） This would definitely make them less happy,（.） according to the(这里用特指不是很合适的了) poll research, most of the people are unsatisfied with their current situations and want to change.

Moreover, people tend to own things instead of just enjoying them,（.） Take current China as an example, traditionally, Chinese people think they should possess a house when they live independently, （.）own a house can improve their secure feelings, and it is essential for a guy to started a family, （.）because of the high demanding of the house market, the price of the house become ridiculous high, especially big cities like Beijing, Shang Hai and Shenzhen. For those didn’t catch of the opportunities of purchase a house before its price gets high, the current situation just made them more desperate than before.

Admittedly, There always (你把谓语忘了额亲)happy persons, because they didn’t focus their life on the materials, （.）they just （谓语）very happy with their moderate life, （.）But this thing only happened in small places（certain conditions）, where is less competition and less pressure.

In （to）sum up, every decades and timeshas its own issue, People are harder to be pleased nowadays.

还好了，嘿嘿，加油额。
sherry的整体处理的很好。语法和句子就加紧多看多练习。主要肯看怎么写句子，这个貌似是你的弱点了额。
然后就是你没有错别字的了，这一点比我好多了

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-19 11:36
标题: 谢谢鼓励和指教!

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
Currently, the economy has been far more developed than the past,（.）although the competition in the society(去掉) is fiercer than before, pressures of life and work （少谓语）very much intense,（.） But people at least do not need to worry about food and place to live, in some level people just harder（这个是什么做谓语额，adj还是比较级） to get pleased and not so easier to get satisfied due to the human nature of greedy. As for as I am concerned, people are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past, （.）(such as for example or for instance)when you ask them what you want, they always say I(they 或者加上:”)want more.

To begin with, although a lot of people have the access to higher education,(although and but 不能联用) but after graduate（after后面要么加名词，要么加动名词） their expectation on job hunting become relatively high, （.）even with the booming economic the competition for job positions still fierce, （.）so a lot of people think they are qualified for the occupation they wanted but only few can get the offer, （.）for those of the unlucky candidates they might have to take less exciting and less paid job to make living,（.） This would definitely make them less happy,（.） according to the(这里用特指不是很合适的了) poll research, most of the people are unsatisfied with their current situations and want to change.

Moreover, people tend to own things instead of just enjoying them,（.） Take current China as an example, traditionally, Chinese people think they should possess a house when they live independently, （.）own a house can improve their secure feelings, and it is essential for a guy to started a family, （.）because of the high demanding of the house market, the price of the house become ridiculous high, especially big cities like Beijing, Shang Hai and Shenzhen. For those didn’t catch of the opportunities of purchase a house before its price gets high, the current situation just made them more desperate than before.

Admittedly, There always (你把谓语忘了额亲)happy persons, because they didn’t focus their life on the materials, （.）they just （谓语）very happy with their moderate life, （.）But this thing only happened in small places（certain conditions）, where is less competition and less pressure.

In （to）sum up, every decades and timeshas its own issue, People are harder to be pleased nowadays.

还好了，嘿嘿，加油额。
sherry的整体处理的很好。语法和句子就加紧多看多练习。主要肯看怎么写句子，这个貌似是你的弱点了额。
然后就是你没有错别字的了，这一点比我好多了

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/7/19 10:43:25)

谢谢Kchszy061ban的中肯建议和鼓励！
我的语法是我的弱项，惭愧ING，我初中的英语老师是个结巴，所以从来不讲语法，只是拿着录音机一遍又一遍的放磁带听，所以我对语法一窍不通。：（
所以我一直没有给各位筒子们改文章，是真的惭愧，不会改。。。好纠结！
万幸的是发音没有被误导。我一定多加强语法练习。
没有错别字是因为WORD的自动纠正系统，要是直接在电脑上考试环境里写，后果将不堪设想。。。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-21 20:20
标题: 7月21号交作业，独立+综合
7月21日 2010.2.13NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In a team, those who do not accept other’s criticism cannot succeed. Use specific reasons to support your answer

Being success need many aspects of qualities, Such as persistent, cold headed, perseverance, flexible mentality, of course, being able to accept other’s criticism, I strongly agree that being able to accept other’s criticism, undoubtedly would be one of the most important qualitiesof succeed.

To begin with, we all have our point of view when things happened, some times we misjudge the core essence of the things, some times we misunderstand the situation, and some times we have our shortage of view things thoroughly, those of the mistakes could be avoid by accepted the different voices and opinions from our team follows or from our friends. Thus after thoroughly thought things through may lead us to a succeed resolution. Take one of emperor of Han dynasty as an example. King Xiang Yu, who have stronger troops and financial support than King Liu Bang, But King Xiang Yu fail to accepted one of his important advisors judgment of Zhang Liang, who is aspy for King Liu and still loyalty to King Liu Bang when he pretend to committed to King Xiang Yu, this is just a scheme they put for King Xiang Yu. but he believe Zhang Liang is the essential guy for him to become a emperor. Because of his misjudgment and not willing to accepted the criticism from his adviser. He lost everything in this war, and committed a suicide with his wife at the riverside. What a sad story! And how vital it is if someone cannot accept the criticism.

Moreover, accept other’s criticism is helpful for us to exam the situation more thoroughly. Some times one person’s perspective is too narrow, we can not see the things 360 angles, there is old saying: even the smartest person makes mistakes, the wisest man thought through thousands times, there may still be some detail they won’t noticed, so gather more people’s inputs and accept the criticism only will help you to succeed.

Admittedly, for those have strong persistent, and know what they really want at least know what they really don’t wanted, it might be good to keep their original mind, Take Facebook’s founder Mark zuckerburg as an example. He and his partner co-founded Facebook website, his partner insist to bring the advertising in to website in order to make profits, but mark strongly against it because he think is not cool, although at that time he don’t really know what he want to do but he certainly know what he don’t want to do, so he manage to kick his partner out of the company. And eventually Facebook attracts the virtual capital and developed into the largest social network empire.

In Conclusion, I still strongly believe the one who accepted the criticism has the better chance to be succeeding in the team.

7月21号，综合 TPO 12

To begin with, the reading article claim that this portrait was recognized by the author's family, and they has endorsed the claim that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen, But on the other hand, The professor argues the recognition do not convincinglyshow the portrait is JA herself by her loose connection siblings, giving this portrait is released 70 years later of JA's death, the professor assert even the siblings won't necessary had saw JA herself, not even to say recognize her when she was a teenager.

Secondly, JA has very large family, and she has a lot of cousin and siblings, so it is not approved the portrait it's herself, actually, there is one highly possible assumption the portrait it's one of her distanced niece.

Thirdly, The date at the back side of the canvas is much later than the portrait being painted, The black canvas of the background portrait was tracked, and showing it's William who sold the canvas, But the time when William is starting to sell canvas, JA already 27 years old. It clearly approved that teenager girl is not possible JA herself.

In Conclusion, The professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincing showed the central arguments of the reading article is incorrect.

作者: lcaecar 时间: 2012-7-22 17:59
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In a team, those who do not accept other’s criticism cannot succeed. Use specific reasons to support your answer
Being success needs many aspects of qualities, Such as persistent, cold headed, perseverance, flexible mentality, of course, being able to accept other’s criticism, I strongly agree that being able to accept other’s criticism, undoubtedly would be one of the most important qualities of succeed.
To begin with, we all have our point of view when things happened, sometimes we misjudge the core essence of the things, sometimes we misunderstand the situation, and sometimes we have our shortage of view things thoroughly, those of the mistakes could be avoid by accepted the different voices and opinions from our team follows or from our friends. Thus after thoroughly thought things through may lead us to a succeed resolution. Take one of emperor of Han dynasty as an example. King Xiang Yu, (没有谓语啊~)he was an emperor who ~~have~~had stronger troops and financial support than King Liu Bang, ~~But(~~but不能放在句首) King Xiang Yu failed to accepted one of his important advisors judgment of Zhang Liang, who is aspy（这个打错了吧？） for King Liu and still loyalty to King Liu Bang when he pretend to committed to King Xiang Yu, this is just a scheme they put for King Xiang Yu. ~~but~~（同样的问题） he believe Zhang Liang is the essential guy for him to become a emperor. Because of his misjudgment and not willing to accepted the criticism from his adviser. He lost everything in this war, and committed a suicide with his wife at the riverside. What a sad story! And how vital it is if someone cannot accept the criticism.(例子非常好，但是叙述上欠缺。可以使用逻辑连词，at very beginning, then, consequently...让句子更加连贯)
Moreover, accepting other’s criticism is helpful for us to exam the situation more thoroughly. Some times one person’s perspective is too narrow, we can not see the things 360 angles(这个不知道怎么改了..), there is old saying: "even the smartest person makes mistakes, the wisest man thought through thousands times, there may still be some details they won’t noticed"(你是想说智者千虑必有一失吧...), so gather more people’s inputs and accept the criticism only will help you to succeed.
Admittedly, for those have strong persistent, and know what they really want at least know what they really don’t wanted, it might be good to keep their original mind, Take Facebook’s founder Mark zuckerburg as an example. He and his partner co-founded Facebook website, his partner insist to bring the advertising in to website in order to make profits, but mark strongly against it because he think is not cool, although at that time he don’t really know what he want to do but he certainly know what he don’t want to do, so he managed to kick his partner out of the company. And eventually Facebook attracted the virtual capital and developed into the largest social network empire.(这个例子太牵强了，而且没有体现criticism，让步例子举出来之后没有进一步阐述关系.可以说开头who has strong will also succeed even rejects accepting other's criticism.结尾再反驳)
In Conclusion, I still strongly believe the one who accepted the criticism has the better chance to be succeeding in the team.

楼主的例子储备还是挺丰富的，思路也很清晰
但是语法上要加强啊..
尝试多用一些逻辑连接词

作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-22 19:54

7月21号，综合 TPO 12

The reading article explored the issue of whether the released for sale portraitof famous writer Jane Austen is herself or not. The professors speech deals the same issue,However(怎能大写？) the professor holds strong opposite opinions contradict with article, and use 3 specific points to argue with the court part which stated in the reading articles. (应改为：however he holds the opposite opinion, and uses three specific points to support his idea) 句式，语法。单三！！

To begin with, the reading article claims that this portrait was recognized by the author's family, and they has（自己改） endorsed the claim that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen,(怎么能是逗号呢？？) But on the other hand, The professor argues the recognition do not convincingly show the portrait is JA herself by her loose connection siblings, giving this portrait is released 70 years later of JA's death, the professor assert even the siblings won't necessary had saw（seen）JA herself, not even to say recognize (两个谓语动词能同时出现吗？) her when she was a teenager.楼主论点很好，不过这个语法错误实在是太多了！！！单三啊！！过去分词啊！！

Secondly, JA has very large family, and she has a lot of cousins and siblings, so it is not approved the portrait it's herself, actually, there is one highly possible assumption the portrait it's one of her distanced niece. 观点很好，语法错误太多。这么多层意思，若非是从句，该另起句子。

Thirdly, The date at the back side of the canvas is much later than the portrait being painted（原文不是这个意思，而是说，这个canvas后面的印章说明他是谁谁谁卖的，而那个人在奥斯汀teenage的时候不在伦敦，他后来来伦敦卖画布的时候奥斯汀已经27岁了）, The black canvas of the background portrait was tracked, and showing it's William who sold the canvas, But the time when William is starting to sell canvas, JA already 27 years old. It clearly approved that teenager girl is not possible JA herself.后半部分的信息是对的，前半部分不对。楼主的语法错误太多了！！！
In Conclusion, The professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincing showed the central arguments of the reading article is incorrect.

楼主首先要练习的就是语法。学会加单三，学会分句子，知道什么时候大小写。这个问题非常严重。基本功太不扎实了！把这些练会了再来练写作吧。。。不过别灰心，谁都不是生来就会跑的。楼主还需要漫长而艰辛的道路要走。加油吧！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-22 23:43
标题: 7月22号独立＋综合作业贴

7月22日 2010.3.6NASome peoplebelieve that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even theyare not realistic; others believe that people should focus on achievingrealistic goals. What’syour opinion and why? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Armstrong wanted to travel to the moon. Walter brotherwanted to created a plane that can fly, Dell wanted to invent a telephone whichallowed 2 people to talk even they are thousands of miles away from each other.There are millions of examples that I could list, although none of them werebelieved by the time being. Yet they conquered all the obstacles and bias,eventually succeeded. And brings unbelievable benefits for the futuregenerations. So I strongly agree that we should follow our heart and focus onour ambitions dreams and goals. Even they are sounds not realistic to others.

To start with, nothing is impossible. In this crazy world,even clone technology is succeeded. Image they could just use one of your hairsto created another identical you! It’s hard to believe yet they are achievable.How crazy that sounds like! Compare with this none of ours dream is unrealistic.So just stick with your crazy dream and work hard on it, someday you willsucceed, even if you are not finished by the time you left this world, in thefuture some body else will carry on and eventually make it come true.

Moreover, people who don’t have faith on your dream mostbecause they are lack of visionary and very conservative to this world. Theyare afraid of changes. They think this world had been changing so fast thatthey could not adapt. They just want live in their normal regular life with.Nothing is wrong with it. Most people are like that. But crazy dreamers, youare not most of them, have faith on your dream and stick with it.
Admittedly, some of the ambitions dreams are lookedrealistic in the present, but they might be possible in the future as long aspeople believing in it and work hard on it. Who knows what is going to happenin the future.

In conclusion, I believe people should follow theirambitions and work hard on it. Although it may not lead you to success, youdefinitely will not get success if you not even tried.

综合 TPO 13

The reading passage explored the issue of fossilscommercialization can bring negative impact on the public and the scientificworld, The professor's lecture deals with the same issue. However she holds theopposite opinions. And she use 3 specific points to improve her arguments.

To begin with, the reading passage assumes the publicwill suffers the fossil commercialization. Because most of the fossils are soldto private collectors. so the mass public won't be able to see any of them inthe public museum. On the other hand, the professor claimed that the fossilcommercialization will help the fossils get more exposure hence more public couldnotice of it.

Secondly, the reading passage thinks that scientist arelikely to lose access to the fossils by commercialization it, But the professorstated that fossils being commercialized has to go through scientist, onlyscientist can estimate the value of it. And she also argue that fossilcommercialized also can make some small universities or organizations capableto achieve the fossils.

Thirdly, the reading passage claimed those privatefossils collectors are usually fail to protect the valuable fossils due to theyare lack of experience and knowledge. But on the other hand, the professorargues that the fossil market demanding motivated more fossils beingdiscovered. Instead of sleeping underground for another thousands of years.

I conclusion, the professor clearly identified theweaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the centralargument is the reading passage of fossils should not be commercialized isincorrect.

作者: guodonghu 时间: 2012-7-23 09:28
Sherry 你好！
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误.
走你~~~

Armstrong wanted to travel to the moon. Walter brothers wanted to created a plane that could ~~can~~fly. Dell wanted to invent a telephone which allowed 2 people to talk even they were ~~are~~thousands of miles away from each other.There are millions of examples that I could list, although none of them were believed by the time being. Yet they conquered all the obstacles and bias, but eventually succeeded, and later brought unbelievable benefits for the future generations. So I strongly agree that we should follow our heart and focus on our ambitious dreams and goals, although they are sounds not realistic to others.
首段的三个例子举的很恰当，可以再试试把这三个例子写成 Without Armstrong's first step onto the moon, the moon can never become a true part of mankind; without Waler brothers' invention, we can never have the chance to take a plane....balabla 写成气势强一些的排比更好一些。这种开头可以适当练习一下

To start with, nothing is impossible. In this crazy world,even clone technology has already achieved~~is succeeded~~. Imagine(imagine 是动词用imagine sb doing sth) scientists using ~~they could just use~~one of your hairs to created another identical you! It is hard to believe that this is achievable ~~yet they are achievable~~.How crazy that sounds like! Compared ~~Compare~~ with this, none of our dreams ~~ours dream~~is unrealistic. So just stick with your crazy dream and work hard on it, someday you will succeed, even if you do not finish ~~are not finished~~ by the time you leave ~~left~~this world, in the future some body else will carry on and eventually make it come true.
克隆人的实验广泛受到争议，这里写不太好，换成克隆羊也行.

Moreover, the reason why people ~~who~~ don’t have faith on your dream is mainly because they are lack of imagination ~~visionary~~ and very conservative to this world. They are afraid of changes. They think this world has ~~had~~been changing so fast that they could not adapt to.(adapt 是不及物动词这种用法后面要加to) They just want live in their normally regular life ~~with~~.(副词修饰形容词)Nothing is wrong with this idea （it感觉指代不清）. Most people are like that. But crazy dreamers, you are not one of them, have faith on your dream and stick with it.

Admittedly, some of the ambitious dreams are looked unrealistic in the present, but they might be possible in the future as long as people believe ~~believing~~in it and work hard on it. Who knows what is going to happen in the future.

In conclusion, I believe people should follow their ambitions and work hard on them ~~it.~~ Although it may not lead you to success, you definitely will not get success if you do not even have a try .~~not even tried.~~

总结：
1我主要修改的是句子及语法错误。LZ在这方面不足，建议看一下初中，高中语法，可以找薄一些的语法书来看，里面写的都是重点。
2文章中多用些连词，副词，这样不仅可以使文章连续而起可以增加字数，渐进。例如what's more，moreover等等就不写多了连词没有什么实际的意思，但可以增加文章字数，增加文章的连续性。
3写完时把作文和托福作文的评分标准对比一下，这样可以看出自己写的怎么样。文章整体基本切题和解决了问题。文章第一段和结尾段写的可以。但我觉得主体234段的论证不够有力。第二段的例子举的不够恰当。文章结构不是很清晰，第2段和第4段的内容重叠，读起来感觉说的是一个意思。

tips：附件是4级考试的作文指导，对我个人很有帮助，特意推荐给你。
我的作文望尽快回改http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-683481-1-1.html#last 按照ets的评分标准改就可以，语法单词错误找不到没关系，主要在结构例子论证等方面给我些建议谢谢！

作者: guodonghu 时间: 2012-7-23 15:56
谢谢sherry的修改。文章里面的一些地方修改以后读起来很好。我以后会多注意练习避免适用性别歧视的词汇。
你也加油，坚持写，进步肯定会飞快的。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-23 17:33
标题: TPO 14 综合

The reading passage explored the issue of whether salvage logging, which is the practice of removing dead trees from damage areas and use it for other purpose. Should be encouraged or not. The professor’s lecture deals the same topic. However, the professor holds the opposite statement compared with the reading passage author who is favor of the salvage logging. She uses 3 specific points to support her idea accordingly.

To begin with, the reading passage assumes that after fire damage, it is hard and takes years for dead trees to decompose. Moreover, it will occupy the spaces of the fresh tree needed. Hence it should be removed in order to help the forest to recover. On the other hand, the professor claims that clear up won't be necessary help fresh tree to grow up faster. In addition, rapidly remove the dead tree instead of let the tree decomposed won't do any help for enrich the soil. Therefore, it is better to just let the dead tree naturally decompose to the soil.

Secondly, the reading passage contends that the dead tree will benefits the harmful insect such as spruce bark beetle. On the contrary, the professor states that the dead tree will not only will benefit the harmful insects but also the good ones. Besides, the professor also asserts that the harmful beetles have no recorded or example cause of forest environmental unbalance.

Thirdly, the reading passage claims that salvage logging also will improve economic and help to creates more jobs for local residents. On the other hand, the professor doubted the salvage logging will do any long term good for the economics. Moreover, she indicates that it will only bring temporary jobs for outsider instead of local residents.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly shows that the salvage logging is incorrect.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-24 21:59
标题: 7月24号独立
7月24号独立
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Usespecific reasons to support your answer.

Have you ever-encountered boss using figure pointat you and neck goes red? Have you ever been yelled by a difficult customer?The list will go on. If you have, you should hold the same opinion as I do, whichis no one in this world had the rights being rude to others.

To begin with, as the gradually fiercer competitiongrowing in this world, more pressures had been undertaken, the pace of livinggoes faster than ever, the communication between people actually goes moreintense, the patience was run out more easily than ever. Service commercializedmade this world easier to live with, but it will also make some clients takethe hard service work for granted. Besides, some people just had hot-temper, inaddition, they likes to challenge people. But some other may just had a roughday; they need to release the angry out. The resemblance outcome for thosepeople is they may just take it on the person around them such as family andpeople who provide service to them. Imaging how inappropriate it is. Peopleshould just switch their standpoints and have more consideration of others.

Moreover, taken the pressure on someone else, fromphysically and psychologically isn’t do any good for yourself either. Frommedical points, Once people goes angry, you blood pressure will goes up, yourheart beats will goes faster, your brain will filled with blood, and all thosewill add more dangerous effects on your body. In addition, once you takenpressure to some one, you might get regrets afterward, you may feel guilty. Itwill make you become an unhappy person. Take myself as an example, when I gothrough a rough time, my patience will run out easily when I talk with myparents. Which will hurt their feelings and make them more worried about me.Although parents will not leave me for this reason, it’s just will make thingworse and the communication harder. Therefore, we should never rude to anyone,especially to our parents.

Admittedly, Some people may claims it’s because thepeople who provide service didn’t meet their requirement and consequentlycaused a great lose. However, roaring at the service people won’t make thethings goes better, sometimes even make thing worse than before. If it isreally necessary we should go through legal action, let the judge decided ifanyone need to be punished.

Inconclusion, we should never being rude to someone else, for try to building amore harmony world sake, for try to set a better role model for the nextgeneration sake.

作者: lawlietcoco 时间: 2012-7-25 07:27
Have you ever-encountered boss using figure pointat you and neck goes red? Have you ever been yelled by a difficult customer?The list will go on. If you have, you should hold the same opinion as I do, whichis no one in this world had the rights being rude to others.
Should->will definitely
As I do->with me
To begin with, as the gradually fiercer competitiongrowing in this world, more pressures had been undertaken, the pace of livinggoes
More pressures have been suffered
faster than ever, the communication between people actually goes moreintense, the patience was run out more easily than ever. Service
三个句子连在一起不能没有连词，要么就用分号隔开来~
commercializedmade this world easier to live with, but it will also make some clients takethe hard service work for granted. Besides, some people just had hot-temper, 应该用句号重新开始句子inaddition, they likes to challenge people. But some other may just had a roughday; they need to release the angry out. The resemblance outcome for thosepeople is they may just take it on the person around them such as family andpeople who provide service to them. Imaging how inappropriate it is. Peopleshould just switch their standpoints and have more consideration of others.
这一段的说理不是很清晰，其实可以写一个稍微详细的例子，效果会更好。我们应该尽量避免大段的理论叙述，应为我们的写作功底不是那么好，长篇大论很容易词不达意。

Moreover, taken the pressure on someone else, fromphysically and psychologically isn’t do any good for yourself either. Frommedical points, Once people goes angry, you blood pressure will goes up, yourheart beats will goes faster, your brain will filled with blood, and all thosewill add more dangerous effects on your body. In addition, once you takenpressure to some one, you might get regrets afterward, you may feel guilty. Itwill make you become an unhappy person. Take myself as an example, when I gothrough a rough time, my patience will run out easily when I talk with myparents. Which will hurt their feelings and make them more worried about me.Although parents will not leave me for this reason, it’s just will make thingworse and the communication harder. Therefore, we should never rude to anyone,especially to our parents.

Admittedly, Some people may claims it’s（这里最好不要用it 因为有指代不清的嫌疑）because thepeople who provide service didn’t meet their requirement and consequentlycaused a great lose. However, roaring at the service people won’t make thethings goes better, sometimes even make thing worse than before. If it isreally necessary we should go through legal action, let the judge decided ifanyone need to be punished.

Inconclusion, we should never being rude to someone else, for try to building amore harmony world sake, for try to set a better role model for the nextgeneration sake.
楼主的中文想法应该是逻辑清晰的，但是落实到英文写作就觉得不是那么的地道，应该尝试用一些数据例子来说明问题。ETS要的是写作功底，逻辑不是那么的重要。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-25 22:11
标题: 7月25号交作业独立＋综合
7月25号独立＋综合 7月25日110304NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.

As the increasingly rapid changing of the modernworld. Human beings seems achieved a great deal of control of the world bytechnology, as well as more cultivated civilization. However, the war in themiddle east hasn’t been ceased for one day; Myriads of children in Africa stillgone through starvation and health issue; the developing country areencountering contradiction between the gradually developed economic and lesscompleted democracy and human rights issue; Moreover, the most prevalent butcontroversial issue, Global warming is still troubled this world. As for as Iam concerned, hardly can there be any problems be solved in our lifetime.
To start with, as the population roaring, moreconsuming requires thus the energy resource war become gradually fierce thanever. Although modern technology allowed the alternative energies such as solarand nuclear, wind to replace oil. The instability and inconsistence of those energiesstill make a great contribution for oil resources war. Consequently the war inMiddle East becomes more complicated than ever. In additions to the politicaland religious contradiction between each nation. Therefore, complicated it isindeed to solve the problem in our lifetime.
Another equally important point is global warming.As the modern city’s development, each family, buildings, cars hasair-conditioning system, they produced tons of Carbon dioxide. In additions tothe heavy industrial and vehicles emits. Had made the global warming severerthan ever. Though unite unions has distributed much endeavor on reduce theCarbon dioxide by legal actions, the commercialized measurement still hasn’tdecline the outcome by money penalties. Consequently more glaciers are meltedthus the water covered and impaired more cultivatable land. Needless to say howharmful it is to the world.
Admittedly, Technology did offer some alternativesolve methods such as use electricity to replace oil for vehicles. However, theout coming issue such as all the vehicles and infrastructures needs to bereplaced. It does undoubtedly necessitate much more endeavor and even law toexecute it. Which is still a challenge to most of the countries’ and regions.
In conclusion, it is unlikely any problems could becompletely solved in our lifetime due to the limited resources and time andhuman efforts.

TPO 16 综合

The reading passage explored the issue of downside of theBritish new guidelines for archaeology, which is the modern development haddestroyed the valuable artifacts of the British. Howerver, The professor in the lecture holds theoppiste ideas.

To start with,the reading passages states that modern construction has destroed a large mountof valuable artifacts. However, the professor argues that modern British hadcreated new guidelines for the construction procedure. Before there is any construction, The land has to beexamed by certain archaelogical department. If there are any archaelogicalvalue to be found. The accordingly action will be taken by the experts andconstruction company by either well categorized the artifacts or protect thelocation by move the construction site.

Moreover, Thereading passage claims that the financial support is inadequet compared withpast. whears the prodessor contends that the initial exam fee will be providedby the construction company. Which allowed the archaelogist toprocede a great range of researches before anything happened?At last, thereading passage argues, because of low pay and rare of the archaeology jobposition could offer. Many people who wanted to become archaeologists couldn'tpursue their passion instead of give up. On the contrary, the professor claimsthat more jobs actually created by the modern construction. More construction site need to be examed.Therefore more jobs postion for researches has been porvided. Moreover,if the site was categorized as the valuable site. More jobs could be created bynext step job needs.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identified theweakness of the reading passage and convincingly show the modern constructionhas harmed the archaeology is incorrect.

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-7-26 05:07
The reading passage explored the issue of downside of theBritish new guidelines for archaeology（表述的不够准确，阅读的内容并不是new guideline的downside，而是描述了整个考古界的一些limitation），, which is the modern development had destroyed the valuable artifacts of the British（总起段主要是说在大环境有缺陷，楼主说些的是第一个观点所描述的问题）. Howerver, The professor in the lecture holds the oppiste ideas.（professor介绍了new guideline带来的3个areas 的improvement）

To start with,the reading passages states that modern construction has destroed（拼写） a large mount（应该是amount ，mount是坐骑的意思）of valuable artifacts. However, the professor argues that modern British had created（用词很中文，，用implemented比较好） new guidelines for the construction procedure. Before （there is any去掉） construction, The land（land，，太中式的表达用原文的site） has to be examed by certain archaelogical department（不准确。。。是by 考古学者才对）. If there are any archaelogical value （去掉to be） found .（从句逗号，这里句号不对） The accordingly action （副词修饰名词？） will be taken by the experts （准确来说听力中是让相关人士聚集起来讨论一个plan来preserve artifacts）and construction company by either well categorized（分类？？？是要表达保存的意思吗？用听力原文的preserve比较恰当） the artifacts or protect the location（保护位置？保护地点？？） by move the construction site.(不准确)

Moreover, The reading passage claims that the financial support is inadequet compared withpast（阅读只说不够没有说比以前少。。）. （，逗号）whears the prodessor拼写 contends（这个contend用词太重了吧，，用cites says就行） that the initial examination and other work carried out under preservation will be provided by the construction company. Which allowed the archaelogist toprocede a great range of researches before anything happened（比之前多。。）

At last, the reading passage argues, because of low pay（语法错而且阅读没有说工资低） and rare of the archaeology job position could offer（语法错）。。。。。。。. （Many去掉） people who wanted to become archaeologists couldn't pursue their passion instead of give up（没太明白所要表达的）. On the contrary, the professor claims that more jobs actually created by the modern construction（不对是new guideline 创造了考古付费的job的opportunity的提升）. More construction site need to be examed.Therefore more jobs postion for researches has been porvided. Moreover,if the site was categorized as the valuable site. More jobs could be created bynext step job needs.（听力要加强。。。。）

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified theweakness of the reading passage and convincingly show the modern constructionhas harmed the archaeology is incorrect.

格式方面注意要空格啊。
造句遣词方面楼主建议你可以从翻译开始一步步做在表达上有所欠缺可能是想要表达出很亮的句子但是在用词上有一些画蛇添足，语法上也有硬伤
内容方面小作文这一块不需要太闪亮的文笔听力内容是大关键所以楼主还要多加强听力的联系因为文章中还是存在不准确的地方

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-26 09:41
谢谢小兔的中肯建议, 我的听力是该加强了.谢谢!

作者: hui刀 时间: 2012-7-26 16:21
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩红色为错误

As the increasingly rapid changing of themodern world, Human beings seems(seem主谓一致) achieved agreat deal of control of the world by technology, as well as more cultivatedcivilization. However, the war in the middle east hasn’t been ceased for oneday; Myriads of children in Africa still gone(go) through starvation and health issue; the developing country are encounteringcontradiction between the gradually developed economic and less completeddemocracy and human rights issue; Moreover, the most prevalent but controversialissue, Global warming is still troubled this world. As for(far)as I am concerned, hardly can there be any problems be solved in our lifetime.

To start with, as the population roaring, more consumingrequires thus the energy resource war become(becomes) graduallyfierce than ever. Although modern technology allowed the alternative energiessuch as solar and nuclear, wind to replace oil. The instability and inconsistenceof those energies still make a great contribution for oil resources war.Consequently the war in Middle East becomes more complicated than ever. Inadditions to the political and religious contradiction between each nation.(这句有缺失，in addition to应该只是引导从句 ) Therefore,complicated it is indeed to solve the problem in our lifetime.

Another equally important point is global warming. As themodern city’s development, each family, buildings,cars（building or car） has air-conditioning system,they produced tons of Carbon dioxide. In additions to the heavy industrial and vehicles emits. Had made the global warming severer than ever.(整个句子没有主语与上句合并较好，In addition, the heavy industry and vehicles emitshave made global warming severer than ever) Thoughunite unions has distributed much endeavor on reduce(reducing)the Carbon dioxide by legal actions, the commercialized measurement stillhasn’t decline the outcome by money penalties. Consequently more glaciers are meltedthus the water covered and impaired more cultivatable land. Needless to say howharmful it is to the world.

Admittedly, technology did offer some alternative solvemethods such as use electricity to replace oil for vehicles. However, the outcoming issue such as all the vehicles and infrastructures needs to be replaced.It does undoubtedly necessitate much more endeavor and even law to execute it. Whichis still a challenge to most of the countries’ and regions. （which修饰的是？）

In conclusion, it is unlikely any problems could becompletely solved in our lifetime due to the limited resources and time andhuman efforts.
看得出来楼主功底很好，长句子，大词信手拈来!很是羡慕~
问题就是经常忘了空格，和句子成分不完整；如果仔细检查，相信楼主能更上一层楼！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-26 21:07
标题: 7月26号独立＋综合
7月26日101030NA Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

As the gradual fiercer and increasing developedeconomy, people realized only acquire enough knowledge can improve the survivalcapacity. The individual’s willingness correspondent with government’s endeavormakes education more accessible than the past.

To start with, as the GDP and average incomes uprising, people had more financial capacities compared with the past. Take Chinaas an example, China has been through the rapidly changing and roaring growingeconomic; moreover , China has 30 years one child policy, Which created China’sunique national character, one children surrounded by 4 grandparents, 2 youngparents, needless to say the children will get everything she/he wanted, ofcourse, including the best education. Simultaneously, more education format hasbeen developed. From technical college to academic universities, even thecontinues college, as long as you have the willingness, you could apply and getenrolled by those universities or colleges. Even if someone lack of financialsupport, bank loans with no interests for students are available. Moreover, thecontinued school or universities are reachable for those grow up who still wantto get education. Therefore, financial support and diversity education formatprovides more opportunities and accessibility for modern people.

Another equally important point is that thegovernment also made a considerable endeavor for education. The governmentprovided more fiscal cost every year. Moreover, Government also encouragesprivate college and universities by offering more tax-free policies. Inaddition, the high payment and package welfare for teacher that provided by thegovernment and school attracted more qualified teacher committed in education.

Admittedly, There are still some undeveloped areawhere could not provide enough accessibility of education. However, that notnecessarily says no education at all for them. Simple reading and writing skillare still achievable. Compared with big cities and more developed area, effortstill need to be made.

In conclusion, more financial capability, divertingformat of education, provide more opportunities for modern people to achieveeducation.
TPO 17

The reading passage explored the issue of the growing population caused growing agriculture has declined the birds. However, the professor holds the opposite opinion, she use 3 specific points to supports her idea.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the human population caused more forests, wetlands and grassland convert into homes, mall, and offices, and consequently the suitable areas for birds had decreased. Therefore, the size of the bird dramatically declined, some even vanished. On the other hand, the professor argues that there are some urban effects on some bird, but also they had provide more suitable area to others, apparently, they even grow and reproduced more than before. It's not a uniformed decline for all birds. Some shrinks and some growth.

Moreover, the reading passage assumes that growing human population with the corresponding growth of agriculture consequently destroyed the habitats thus the harmful for the birds. However, the professor states that not growing population not necessitate the increasing of the agriculture of the land. In fact, they are less and less land was cultivated into former land. The new generated crops were introduced. As a result, no extreme land was needed.

Thirdly, the professor believes that the Pesticides did cause some negative effect on the environment thus to the birds, But the action has been take by two possible changes. One is new pesticides with less toxic has been invented. The other is crop which is unattractive to pest has been developed. Therefore, the pesticides downside has been resolved and less harmful to the birds

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly show the growth of the population has caused the birds decline is incorrect.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-28 22:24
sherry童鞋，我马上写综合作文额。偷懒了，给你道歉。I am really sorry！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-29 12:45
标题: 7月29号综合 TPO20

"The reading passage explored the issue of 'let it burn “policy has been caused a large scale of damage for the forest vegetation and animals as well as economic. However, the professor’s lecture holds the opposite opinions. She uses 3 specific arguments to defend her ideas.

To begin with, the reading passage claims that the "let it burn" burn policy lead to the damage of the vegetation. However, the professor argues that the burn out not necessarily cause the damage. In fact, it also created opportunity for new plants. For example, the burned tree had spared more spaces for the vegetation that need more open spaces to grow. Moreover, the burning heat also supplied the temperature and environment for those plants which needs the higher heat. Therefore forest fire not neccessrated the forest devastation.

Moreover, the reading passage point outs that the fire attributes to the park wildlife extinction such as deer, elk as well as smaller species. On the other hand, the professor states that the new ecological environment actually could create more suitable for certain inhabitants. Such as rabbit which needs lower vegetation. Furthermore, it also provides foods for other preys. Therefore, it created new whole food chains.

At last, the reading passage argues that the fire cause declines of the economics due to the local tourism have been disturbed. However, the professor argues that the fire was not happened every year, it is combination of the low rain fall and park tree and vegetation. In fact, it never happened again since 1988.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly shows the constrain of “let it burn” policy is incorrect.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-29 13:21
标题: TPO18
TPO18

The reading passage explored the issue of the decline of the Torreya trees and addressed three possible solutions. However, the professor holds the opposite opinions. And she argues against the 3 specific solutions accordingly to readdress her idea.

To begin with, the reading passage suggests use the same location to help the Torreya tree to survival. However, the professor strongly against it by pointing out the global warming has caused the dryness and drain of the Florida. Therefore, it is impossible to provide the suitable environment for Torreya to grow.

Secondly, the reading passage claims that should relocated the tree to more northern where is relatively cooler. On the other hand, the professor argues that may cause serious ecological problem. She took the Black luster as an example, which is relocated to another area due to the environmental suitable reason. But it grow so rapidly actually caused other species tress's declines, Which is also in the edge of extinction.

At last, the reading passage suggests use the monitored environment to create the microclimate in order to keep the tree live. However, the professor point out the lab capacity shortage won't provide enough population of the trees to against disease, which is easily infected by disease, therefore caused extinction.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly shows the tree solutions are not practical.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-29 15:18

TPO19
The reading passage explored the new tactics of advertising called buzz, and tends to hold the opinion of strongly agaist it. Moreover, the reading passage listed 3 specific nagative impacts on people and society to support its ideas. However, one of the buzzer holds the opposite opinions, and he argues back to the three specific points accordingly.

Secondly, the reading passage states that when buzzer hidden privately and express how great the products was, the audience will 100% trust the statement without any skeptical. However, the buzzer claims hat quite the opposite, the audience usually ask a lot of questions about the products. If the buzzer couldn’t provide answer to them properly, they won't necessarily buy the buzzer's sell.

At last, the reading passage believes the buzz will harmful the relationship between people thus causes distrustful hazard among the society. On the other hand, the buzzer claims that they only have good intentions of really eager to introduce the products which they had amazing experience to others, nothing but sincere only. Therefore, it's unlikely will cause any spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty.

In conclusion, the buzzer clearly argued back the reading passage and convincingly shows that they are nothing but sincerely appreciated the products.

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-7-30 03:17

"Thereading passage explored the issue of 'let it burn “policy has been caused alarge scale of damage for the forest vegetation and animals as well aseconomic. However, the professor’s lecture holds the opposite opinions. Sheuses 3 specific arguments to defend her ideas.

Tobegin with, the reading passage claims that the "let it burn" burnpolicy（其实是the yellowstone fire 造成的） lead to the damage of the vegetation. However, the professor argues thatthe burn out not necessarily cause the damage. In fact, it also createdopportunity for new plants. For example, the burned tree had spared more spacesfor the vegetation that need more open spaces to grow. Moreover, the burningheat also supplied the temperature and environment for those plants which needsthe higher heat. Therefore forest fire not neccessrated the forest devastation.（细节很好）

Moreover,the reading passage point outs that the fire attributes to the park wildlifeextinction such as deer, elk as well as smaller species. On the other hand, theprofessor states that the new ecological environment actually could create moresuitable for certain inhabitants. Such as rabbit which needs lower vegetation.Furthermore, it also provides foods for other preys. Therefore, it created newwhole food chains.

At last, the reading passage arguesthat the fire cause declines of the economics due to the local tourism havebeen disturbed. However, the professor argues that the fire was not happenedevery year, it is combination of thelow rain fall and park tree and vegetation. （句子表达有问题）In fact, it never happened again since 1988.+一个细节后来的每一年人们都有去。。。

In conclusion, the professor clearlyidentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly shows theconstrain of “let it burn” policy is incorrect.
[/quote]

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-7-30 03:17
和上次改楼主的相比楼主的小作文进步了超多很多细节都听出来了，，加油哦~~

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-30 22:08
标题: 7月30号独立交作业

7月30日

11.01.30NA Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now areless happy and less satisfied than people in the past

Have you ever feel so tired because of the highpressure from the work that you want to go back to you childhood? Have you everfeel even you achieved your goal but the satisfied feeling cannot compete withjust had an ice cream with a friend together when you were young. Have you everfelt when you really eager for something but when it comes to you, you justdon’t feel it attractive like before anymore. If you do, you definitely willagree with me, which are modern people are less happy and less satisfied thanpeople in the past.

To begin with, as the economic growth and societydeveloping, inevitably lead the competition fiercer than ever. Consequently, wehave to work much harder to live a better life. For example, if we want to getpromoted, further education, infinitely study will take most of the spare time,which suppose to spend on bonding with family and friends. Therefore, we haveto trade the simple happy time to a better future.

Another equally important point is spiritualsatisfaction is much hard than the material satisfaction. Maslow, Who is awell-known psychologist, uses his pyramid level needs theory illustrated to us.Human kind had 5 different levels of needs, under the bottom of the pyramid arethe basic foods and warm as well as safety needs, as long as people are nothungry and cold, they will feel happy. But when they are able to achievefurther higher needs such as love, belongingness and needs for esteem, whichare relatively more challengeable than the basic ones. When the needs are notbeing satisfied, People tend to become less happy.

Admittedly, happy or satisfaction also depends onthe individuals, some people just very easy to be pleased and they are tend tobe happy most of the time. May be they are less greedy than the regular peopleor they lived in a less competed area. However, undoubtedly, modern people aregenerally less happy than the past due to pressures from all aspects.

In conclusion, the roaring pressure from the work,less time with family and friends, as well as relatively higher needs. Indeed,modern people are less happy than in the past.

作者: 丰碑无语Yee 时间: 2012-7-31 19:04

7月30日

11.01.30NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past

Have you ever feel so tired because of the high pressure from the work so that you want to go back to you childhood? Have you ever feel even you achieved your goal but the satisfied feeling cannot compete with just had an ice cream with a friend together when you were young. Have you ever felt when you really eager for something but when it comes to you, you just don’t feel itattractive like before anymore. If you do, you definitely will agree with me(my point), which are modern people are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.(开头排比写得不错的，引题很好)

To begin with, as the economic growth and society developing, inevitably lead the competition fiercer than ever. Consequently, we have to work much harder to live a better life. For example, if we want to get promoted, further education, infinitely study will take most of the spare time, which suppose to spend on bonding with family and friends. Therefore, we have to trade the simple happy time to a better future.

Another equally important point is spiritual satisfaction is much hard than the material satisfaction. Maslow Who is a well-known psychologist, uses his pyramid level needs theory illustrated to us. Human kind had 5 different levels of needs, under the bottom of the pyramid are the basic foods and warm as well as safety needs, as long as people are not hungry and cold, they will feel happy. But when they are able to achieve further higher needs such as love, belongingness and needs for esteem, which are relatively more challengeable than the basic ones. When the needs are not being satisfied, People tend to become less happy.（学到了这个理论）

Admittedly, happy or satisfaction also depends on the individuals, some people just very easy to be pleased and they are tend to be happy most of the time. May be they are less greedy than the regular people or they lived in a less competed area. However, undoubtedly, modern people are generally less happy than the past due to pressures from all aspects.

In conclusion, the roaring pressure from the work, less time with family and friends, as well as relatively higher needs. Indeed, modern people are less happy than in the past.

（楼主写得真的很好，我的水平太次了，从你的文章学到很多的，思维清晰。有些细节问题需要注意的）

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-31 22:54
标题: 7月31号交作业综合＋独立

7月31日

11.12.17NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to becompletely honest with your friend.

Have youever tell a white lie to your friends and family? What is you intention to tellthem the white lie instead of the truth? I believe is for their best intereststo avoiding anxious as well as calming down their heart. If so, you definitelywill stand on my side, which is depends on the circumstances, for our belovedfamily and friends; it is impossible to completely honest with them.

To startwith, People tend to act protective to their family and friends when it comesto complicated issues. They do not want to cause any anxiety, which is probablywon’t do any good for the current situation. Take myself as an example, I livefar away from my parents, one time I got a favor, I just manage myself to go tothe hospital and get treated. As usually, my parents called me and see how itgoes with me. Instead of telling them that I was in the hospital, I told themthat I was with a friend, because I know telling them the truth won’t helpanything for my sickness. Moreover, it only will make them worried about me.

Anotherequally important point is white lie will help people go through the difficulttimes. Take the movie of Forest Gump as example. Little forest is a lower IQchildren, normal school won’t accept him as a student; they suggest forest’smother send him to special school which is for handicaps. On the contrary,forest’s mother not only didn’t send forest to the special school, but alsotelling him that he is just likes everybody else. Surprisingly Forest turn outto be a national hero, a championship of sports as well as a very successfulbusinessman.

Admittedly,It is very hard to tell white lies or dishonest with friends or family. We dowant to them to share our joy and sadness. However, generally speaking,sometimes telling white lies is good for the situation compared to justcompletely honest with friends or family.

Inconclusion, we want our friends and family to be happy. So when it comes tocomplicated situations I think it’s better to just tell white lies.

TPO 22

The readingpassage explored the issue of whether Ethanol is good replacement for gasoline,the author analysis three specific reasons for disagreement. However, theprofessor’s lecture holds the opposite opinions. And he argues back to the 3counterparts reasons.

To beginwith, the reading passage claims that the Ethanol will worsen the globalwarming by producing more carbon dioxide when it is burned for fuel. On thecontrary, the professor states that it is true Ethanol will release carbondioxide, but it not necessarily causes global warming. Moreover, he explainedEthanol fuel produced by corn, which is need carbon dioxide when they grow. Consequently,the carbon dioxide will be deducted when corn growing. Therefore, there is noextra harm for global warming.

Moreover,the reading passage asserts that the corn originally should be consumed byanimals will be used for produce Ethanol, which will cause a food insufficientfor animals and eventually make them disappear. However, the professor arguesthat the Ethanol was produced by one component of the plants, which will not beeaten by animals. Therefore, it won’t reduce any food for animals.

At last, thereading passage claims that the price of Ethanol has no advantages comparedwith gasoline. On the contrary, the professor states although right now theprice of Ethanol is not competitive to gasoline, and even with the government’stax subsides. When consumers were more reliable on the Ethanol, the producer ofthe Ethanol will willing to updates the technology of it, eventually the pricewill go down. If the currents needs grow 3 times bigger, the cost of producingEthanol will reduce 40%. Needless to say the price will dropdown and therefore Ethanolprice will become competitive.

InConclusion, the professor clearly identified the weaknesses of the readingpassage and convincingly show the Ethanol makes perfect alternative forgasoline.

作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-1 00:12

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
Have youever tell a white lie to your friends and family? What is you(your) intention to tellthem the white lie instead of the truth? I believe(it) is for their best intereststo avoiding(avoid) anxious as well as calming(calm) down their heart. If so, you definitelywill stand on my side, which is depends on the circumstances, for our belovedfamily and friends; it is impossible to completely honest with them.

To startwith, People tend to act protective(protectively) to their family and friends when it comesto complicated issues. They do not want to cause any anxiety, which is probablywon’t do any good for the current situation. Take myself as an example, I livefar away from my parents, one time I got a favor(fever), I just manage(managed) myself to go tothe hospital and get(got) treated. As usually, my parents called me and see(saw) how itgoes with me. Instead of telling them that I was in the hospital, I told themthat I was with a friend, because I know telling them the truth won’t(would not) helpanything(delete anything) for my sickness. Moreover, it only will(would) make them worried about me.(楼主的例子很不错!)

Anotherequally important point is white lie will help people go through the difficulttimes. Take the movie of Forest Gump as example. Little forest is a lower IQchildren, normal school won’t accept him as a student; they suggest forest’smother (to)send him to special school which is for handicaps. On the contrary,forest’s mother not only didn’t send forest to the special school, but alsotelling him that he is just likes(like) everybody else. Surprisingly Forest turn outto be a national hero, a championship of sports as well as a very successfulbusinessman.

Inconclusion, we want our friends and family to be happy. So when it comes tocomplicated situations I think it’s better to just tell white lies.

楼主的例子很不错!
作文的词汇有点贫乏.可以尝试用一些高级点的词汇来装饰一下,就更好了.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-2 21:47
标题: 8月2号独立

8月2号独立

Do you agreeor disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to moveto a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends

Nowadays, asthe gradually global economics developing, the world is become smaller andsmaller, people choosing to live and work in different countries or cities moreoften than before. For better personally career development, for furthereducation, as well as for personal fantasy for strange places. As for as I amconcerned, I tend to disagree that move to a new city or new country will loseof old friends.

To startwith, as the new technology developed, more modern communication tools such ascellphone and computer available to everyone, carry a cellphone make usreachable whatever, whenever and wherever we are, friends and family cancommunicate with us simply just dial our phone number. Moreover, Internettechnology makes the people came closer and closer. Skype, MSN, as well as QQmake Internet communication much easier; you could audio or video with friendsand family wherever the Internet is available. It’s just like talk to them faceto face. How can we say we will lose our friends if we move to another city oranother country if we can talk to them so conveniently?

Anotherequally important idea is friends or family would not be lost if they reallycare about you. When you make an important decision such as live or work inanother countries I believe your friends should be supportive. They shouldrealize the decision is not easy, and for your best interests, good friendswould not step the way for you. Besides, the transportation is so convenience;they could always take train or airplane to visit you.

Admittedly,move to a new place at first may make you feel nervous, as long as you haveyour old friends and family’s supportive. Eventually you will go through allthe hardness. Moreover, you can meet a lot of new friends, and started a newadventure for your life.

Inconclusion, new technology makes long distance communication and travel easier.Therefore, move to another city is less likely to lose old friends.

作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-8-3 19:20
8.2 独立

Nowadays, as the gradually global economics developing, the world isbecome smaller and smaller, people choosing to live and work in differentcountries or cities (没有谓语啊妹纸，应该加上一个are) more often thanbefore. For better personally career development, for further education, aswell as for personal fantasy for strange places（然后呢姑娘？为了这三个，所以要巴拉巴拉主谓宾啊，后面应该加上we should move to a new place神马的）. As for（far） as Iam concerned, I tend to disagree that move（moving主语应该是名词~） to a new city or new country will loseof （lose是vt，直接加后面的对象就好）old friends.

To start with, as the new technology developed, more moderncommunication tools such as cellphone and computer （are）available to everyone, （句号）carry（Carrying，只有名词才能做主语） a cellphone make us reachable whatever, whenever and wherever weare, （句号）friends and family can communicatewith us simply just dial（dialing） ourphone number. Moreover, Internet technology makes~~the~~ people came （come）closer and closer. Skype, MSN, as well as QQ make Internet communication mucheasier; you could （use， audio不能当动词）audio or video with friends andfamily wherever the Internet is available. It’s just like talk to them face toface. How can we say we will lose our friends if we move to another city or anothercountry if we can talk to（with） them so conveniently?

Another equally important idea is friends or family would not belost if they really care about you. When you make an important decision such aslive or work in another countries I believe your friends should be supportive.They should realize the decision is not easy, and for your best interests, goodfriends would not step the way for you. Besides, the transportation is so convenience（convenient）;they could always take train orairplane to visit you.

Admittedly,move（moving） to anew place at first（the beginning更好） maymake you feel nervous, as long as you have your old friends and family’s supportive（support）.（这句话逻辑不通顺啊，“刚到一个新地方的时候，你可能会感到紧张，只要你有你的朋友和家人的支持”，改一下呗） Eventually you will go through al lthe hardness. Moreover, you canmeet a lot of new friends, and started a new adventurefor（in） your life.

Inconclusion, new technology makes long distance communication andtravel easier.Therefore, move to another city is less likely to lose oldfriends.

Tips：

1.妹纸，你的句子结构感觉有点薄弱，短句绝对没问题，但是长句就漏掉东西，比如最重要的谓语什么的，所以建议你在写长句的时候先把主句的结构写好，然后再写那些补充的东西，这样会很大程度上减少你的错误；

2, 文章里没有例子或者数据的支持啊，在OG上的范文里属于3分的作文，最后折合下来大概是18分到22分，所以你就知道例子细节数据什么的重要性的吧？没有亲身经历的例子，不知道数据，咱们都可以编嘛对不对？

3. 有些词的词性不太混用了，一定要清楚这个词是名词还是动词还是形容词，动词到底能不能加后面的宾语，如果不想背单词的话可以多看满分作文，这样就了解了~

4. 最后的最后，题目要审清啊，题目问的是old friend，这和family没有关系啊，无关的东西带入的越少越好，显得文章不冗杂~

Anyway，加油妹纸！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-3 23:04
标题: 8月3号独立交作业

Parentsshould help children to do their work or encourage children to do their workindependently

Nowadays inChina, only child families are the mainstream of the society. No doubts aboutit the children is the center of the whole family even the whole universe.Parents, even grandparents are all have tones of time to take care of theirlittle emperor. When it comes to whether they should help children to do theirwork or just let children to do it on their own, people do hold differentthoughts. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree we should encourage thechildren to do their work independently.

To beginwith, you will never learn how to swim if you are not in the water, likewise,children will never grow up if parents do not let them do their own work independently.Children may encounter unexpected difficulties while they were trying on theirown. Moreover they might fail. However, as the old saying, fail is the motherof success. Only if they went through the process, then they could have abetter understanding of the hardness they been through. More importantly, theycould understand nothing is easier than it looks, as well as learn how toappreciate things. Take myself as an example, when I was young, I want to havea kitty-cat. But my parents told me they could let me have the kitty only inone condition, Which is I have to take whole responsibility about the kitty,including take care of the cat toilet, provide food and water. As my washed andpromised, I did have my kitty cat, and she has been with me since then.Moreover, it does make me understand more about responsibilities.

Anotherequally important idea is help should be set a degree when parents really haveto get involved. Parents are allowed to guild for children rather than just doit for them. Children are incurious to everything, some times the work they aretrying to do may lead to great danger. As parents, should offer advises to helpchildren avoid that kind of situation.

Inconclusion, I believe parents should let children to do their workindependently rather than just help them and do it for them.

作者: sarahpx 时间: 2012-8-4 15:20

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩处绿色总结红色错误

Sorry, 偶第一次在小分队改作文，也不知道对不对。可能说错的很多，如果冒犯sherry ，真是千千万万的抱歉~~

Nowadays in China, onlychild families are the mainstream of the society. No doubts about it（别扭，最好用it’s no doubt that） the children are the center of the whole family even the whole universe. Parents, even grandparents，are all have(have 有点单薄，devote如何？) tones of time to take care of their little emperor. When it comes to whether they should help children to do their work or just let children to do it on their own, people do hold different thoughts. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree（that） we should encourage the children to do their work independently.

（开头有点弱，逻辑感觉有点跳跃，独生子女家庭的现象就直接到主题了？我想可能两者之间的联系亲你想到了但没说明白。）

To begin with,you will never learn how to swim if you are not in the water, likewise, children will never grow up if parents do not let them do their own work independently（上面已经重复几次，可以考虑同意替换，do比较泛，用1,2次即可，最好用更实的词汇）. Children may encounter unexpected difficulties while they were trying（try what?） on their own. Moreover they might fail.（亲你这句应该是要说而且他们可能失败，但是表递进moreover又跟下面这个however紧挨着，有点让人混乱+_+）However, as the old saying, fail is the mother of success. Only if they went through the process, then they could(could they 倒装？) have a better understanding of the hardness they been (got) through. More importantly, they could understand nothing is easier than it looks（sorry,你是要说看起来容易做起来难的意思吗？）, as well as learn how to appreciate things. Take myself as an example, when I was young(这个范围有点广，用child 或者直接说几岁？), I want to have a kitty-cat. But my parents told me they could let me have the kitty only in one condition, Which is I have to take whole responsibility about the kitty, including take care of the cat toilet and provide food and water. As I wished and promised, I did have my kitty cat, and she has been with me since then. Moreover, it does make me understand more about responsibilities.

（这段例子还比较贴切，就是层次有点多，论证的说服性不强）

Another equally important idea is that help should be set a degree（有一个度？亲，不带这么直译的@_@。finite and rational 如何？） when parents really have to get involved. Parents are allowed to guild for children rather than just do it for them. Children are incurious to everything, sometimes the work they are trying to do may lead to great danger. As parents, should offer advises to help children avoid that kind of situation.（主语涅？as 引导的是个状语，亲）

Admittedly, helping children do their work means a great deal of joy for parents. However, it is more importantly to train the children become a better person if we give them more freedom to do it on their own（重复了几次了，替换下？）.（这段说的意思是不是跟第一段重复？）

In conclusion, I believe parents should let children to do their work independently rather than just help them and do it for them.

Sorry, 改的有点鸡婆。如果说错了千万别怪，怪我毒舌，就当一阵风飘过，飘过，过………………好了，。。。。

1. 你的论述展开不太充分，全文看上去好像就第一段一个分观点。逻辑上面也有点不连贯。

此外，第二段又退回来说如果要help应该怎么做，这个好像跟你主观点不一致哦？上考场最好不要这么摇摆不定。

2.结构：第二三段也太少了，此外结尾不有力。

3. 表达有点中文化，如果可以，试着以后用英文的思维去写。此外亲你的语法基础要加强，各类复杂句都多练练手。

4. 词汇有些单一，有的意思反复一个词说，这样被e-rater测到就杯具鸟，还有你的however，moreover 出现的时候要三思，如果用错了，也很吃亏的。

一起加油哈，亲！

作者: sarahpx 时间: 2012-8-4 15:22
额滴神，怎么复制上来的字这么小，额，sherry同学讲究看吧~

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-5 22:06
标题: 8月5号独立交作业

8月5号独立

The impact that movies ortelevisions have had on our daily life, and society in general, is undeniable. A coin has two sides, like wise, so as themovies and televisions effects on young people’s behavior. Some holds thepositive attitude argues that the movies have passed the mainstream value tothe young generation. On the other hand, some other contends that movies andtelevisions had myriads of limited and inappropriate language, scene that notsuitable for youth, so that inevitable will cause negative effects for them. Asfar as I am concerned, I agree with the latter.

To begin with, one of themovies and televisions biggest sales points would be violence; the violencescene will get the audience aroused, as well as excited their blood andimpulse. When young people watched those scenes, which subconsciously willimpact on their behaviors. Take the action movie as an example, when kids sawthe fighting scene involved with bleeding, they will excite and try to imitatethe drama scene with friends or strangers. It is possible that unpleasedincident will happen. Moreover, the youth is easy to be addicted by movies andtelevisions; coach potato is a very serious society issues nowadays, youngpeople prefer to sitting on the coach watch TV or play video games instead ofhung out with friends. Eventually, their social interact abilities will beharmed thus cause serious psychological problems. Therefore, tragedy mighthappened, the recent Unite States “Batman” premier gunshot case may relate withthe negative effects from the movies.

Another equally importantidea is movie has mainstream value orientation, but individual youth havevarious cognition. It is not rare that some inspired by the movies andtelevisions thus turn out to be a great success. Take the great movie directorJames Camera as an example, when he saw the movie “Star War”, he immediatelyquit the current job as a truck driver, and determined to be a great moviedirector. Luckily we had “Titanic” and “ Avatars”, it is not only contributes agreat deal to the audience’s value about love but also to the movie history. Onthe other hand, some others may take the opposite cognitions and leads toharmful behaviors. The psychological troubled individuals youth some timesimitate the villain in the movie.

Admittedly, every directorand producer of the movie and TV industrial initially all have good intentionsof passing the beauty of the world. However, the commercial and consumersdemands may lead to the opposite. For example, some TV channel in order toraising rates and get better financial return so as to concoct and exaggeratethe unhealthy individual value orientations and pass it to the mass, Therefore,they would created controversial topic to attracts more audiences. Indeed, needlessto say how harmful is it.

In conclusion, movies andtelevisions do great impacts on youth’s behavior. In order to wisely used suchmedia. The policy maker needs to pay more attentions on the regulations thusdecease the negative influence on youth.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-5 22:41
标题: 8月5号综合

8月5号综合
The reading passage and the professor both explored the issue of whether thepainting of older woman servant is painted by Rembrandt or not. The reading passage uses three specific explanations to argues that the painting is unlikely painted by Rembrandt himself. On the other hand, the professor holds the opposite idea and against back the three count parts that brought out by the reading passage.

To begin with, the reading passage claims that the portraits is an old servant women, it is unlikely that women servant would afford the luxurious fur collar which she was wearing which showed inconsistence with Rembrandts detail focused work. however, the professors argues that the fur was added 100 years later by someone else in order to increase value of the original painting; the original paint does painted by Rembrandt himself.

Moreover, the reading passage states that Rembrandt suppose to be the master of the painting light user, however, the painting's rarely shows that. On the contrary, the professor argues back, once the adding parts were removed. The original painting was just very simple color and realistic.

At last, the reading passage claims that Rembrandt’s painting usually painted on single piece of wood, the controversial painting reveals it was made of several pieces and glued together. On the other hand, the professor argues that the painting was enlarged and tries to make it look grander than before; the original was on the single piece of wood. Moreover, the wood it's from the same tree with another famous painting of Rembrandt, self- portraits with hat.

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-6 11:50
The reading passage andthe professor both explored the issue of whether the painting of older womanservant is painted by Rembrandt or not. The reading passage uses three specificexplanations to argues that the painting is unlikely painted by Rembrandt himself.On the other hand, the professor holds the opposite idea and against back thethree count parts that brought out by the reading passage. （开头很好）
To begin with, thereading passage claims that the portraits is an old servant women, it isunlikely that women servant would afford the luxurious fur collar which she waswearing which showed inconsistence with Rembrandts detail focused work. However, the professor argues that the fur wasadded 100 years later by someone else in order to increase value of theoriginal painting; the original paint does painted by Rembrandt himself.（讲座中提到一个细节，通过对fur collar颜料的分析，是和其他部分不一样的。Fur collar这部分不是R画的，而是后人加上去的。所以passage以这点来攻击此话非R所画是不成立的）
Moreover, the readingpassage states that Rembrandt suppose to be the master of the painting lightuser, however, the painting's rarely shows that. On the contrary, the professorargues back, once the adding parts were removed. The original painting was justvery simple color and realistic. （这个是说把furcollar移除后，原画中的light color 的领子反射了光线，于是导致了脸上没有阴影。这是很realistic的，很符合R的风格。因此也反驳了文章）
Atlast, the reading passage claims that Rembrandt’s painting usually painted onsingle piece of wood, the controversial painting reveals it was made of severalpieces and glued together. On the other hand, the professor argues that thepainting was enlarged and tries to make it look grander than before; theoriginal was on the single piece of wood. Moreover, the wood it's from the sametree with another famous painting of Rembrandt, self- portraits with hat.

作者: 浅吟天 时间: 2012-8-6 15:00

8月5号独立

黄色好的+模板红色我认为错的绿色批注

The impact that movies ortelevisions have had on our daily life, and society in general, is undeniable. A coin has two sides, like wise, so as themovies and televisions effects on young people’s behavior.（前面是对daily life有影响，后面是behavior，这里没看出a coin的正反面啊，所以建议取掉A coin has two sides） Some holds thepositive attitude argues that the movies have passed the mainstream value tothe young generation. On the other hand, some other contends that movies andtelevisions had myriads of limited and inappropriate language, scene that notsuitable for youth, so that inevitable will cause negative effects for them. Asfar as I am concerned, I agree with the latter.

To begin with, one of the（不要把）movies and televisions biggest sales points would be violence; the violencescene will get the audience aroused, as well as excited their blood andimpulse. When young people watched those scenes, which subconsciously willimpact on their behaviors. Take the action movie as an example, when kids sawthe fighting scene involved with bleeding, they will excite and try to imitatethe drama scene with friends or strangers. It is possible that unpleasedincident will happen. Moreover, the youth is easy to be addicted by movies andtelevisions; coach potato is a very serious society issues nowadays, youngpeople prefer to sitting on the coach watch TV or play video games instead ofhung（hanging) out with friends. Eventually, their social interact abilities will beharmed (加一个and） thus cause serious psychological problems. Therefore, tragedy mighthappened, the recent Unite States “Batman” premier gunshot case may relate withthe negative effects from the movies.（我觉得这个例子应该放到前一个理由那儿。后面主要讲的coath potato，这样不是很搭了哈）

Another equally importantidea is movie has mainstream value orientation, but individual youth have various cognition. It is not rare that some inspired by the movies andtelevisions thus turn out to be a great success. Take the great movie directorJames Camera as an example, when he saw the movie “Star War”, he immediatelyquit the current job as a truck driver, and determined to be a great moviedirector. Luckily we had “Titanic” and “ Avatars”, it is not only contributes（两个谓语啦） agreat deal to the audience’s value about love but also to the movie history. Onthe other hand, some others may take the opposite cognitions and leads toharmful behaviors. The psychological troubled individuals youth some timesimitate the villain in the movie.

Admittedly, every directorand producer of the movie and TV industrial initially all have good intentionsof passing the beauty of the world. However, the commercial and consumersdemands may lead to the opposite. For example, some TV channel in order toraising rates（我查了下好像rating才有收视率的意思） and get better financial return so as to concoct and exaggeratethe unhealthy individual value orientations and pass it to the mass, Therefore,they would created controversial topic to attracts more audiences. Indeed, needlessto say how harmful is it.

-- by 会员 sherryzhangh (2012/8/5 22:06:29)
我觉得你的例子真的举得很好！！我们俩这篇作文的思路有相通的地方，但你写的比我生动。唯一有点问题的就是结尾，应该再次点出你觉得positive还是negetive把，落在regulation上没很点题，你觉得呢~~~（ps lz能把字分分开吗，看起有点小吃力哈）
还有，红色的若你觉得我改错了，一定要给我说，一起学习！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-6 22:29
标题: 8月6号独立交作业

8月6日

High school students should take a course on basic economics.

Nowadays, as the gradually fiercercompetition in economics and society, understand the basic and essence of theeconomics will strengthen individual’s ability in the competition. Therefore,some people advocate high school student should take the course of basiceconomics. However, I tend to hold the opposite ideas, my statement are asfollowings.

To begin with, high school student wasburdened by heavy massive courses already. Have you ever see all high school students’context books? If you look into one of high school students’ classroom, I amsure you will see tons of books on their desk; the whole room even looks likelibrary. Needless to say how heavy the study task it is for them. Moreover,especially in China, the high school student facing the pressure of enrolled byuniversity. The students have to spear no effort to pursue a good score thusenrolled by better university. Therefore, it is unlikely they could take basiceconomics course which are not required by the university’s enroll examination.

Another important statement iseconomics rather abstract. If student never familiar with advanced mathematics,it will be very hard for them to understand economics. In economic study, thereare a lot of laws and terms, which is evolved from advanced mathematics; highschool students only have basic mathematics knowledge. In other words, highschool students just simply not qualified to study basic economics due to lackof relatively advanced mathematics knowledge.

The last but not the least, noteveryone is interested in economics. Some people interested in natural science,some are more into engineering, some are fan of medical; Thus, adding basiceconomics course may become another extra burden for students who are not sointerested in it. Take myself as an example; I am a literature major studentwho more interested in literature, history, art, and movie. If my high schooladds the basic economic course, I will be more headache than ever. Needless tosay I am already complained about the mathematics and physics.

In conclusion, high school students areburden too much courses, their insufficient basic knowledge on advancemathematics, as well as individuals different interests, all made the idea ofadding basic economics course to high school rather unreasonable.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-6 23:26
标题: 8月6号综合交作业

The reading passage and professor's lecture both explored the issue whether dinosaurs are endotherms or not. The reading passage uses three specific arguments to claim that the dinosaurs are the endotherms. However, the professor holds the opposite idea, and she argues back to court parts which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claimed that the dinosaurs are endotherms by state the dinosaurs fossils had been found in the polar regions, which approve that dinosaurs are endotherms because they could living such cold climates. on the contrary, the professor argues back the polar region in that period may not cold like nowadays. Moreover, the professor also indicates that dinosaur may migrate to other area when polar region becomes cold. Therefore, fossils been found in the polar region does not approve that they are endotherms.

Moreover, the reading passage argues that dinosaur’s legs are underneath the body instead of like crocodiles at the two sides of the body. That proves dinosaurs are just like other endotherms using body to running. However, the professor states that the dinosuar have underneath legs more like function as support body weight to grow larger instead of running.

At last, the professor agrees that dinosaur does contain Haversian canals which help them to grow quickly in their bone structure. However, the professor states that growth ring of dinosaur are rather different, some thick, some are not, which means they are not always grow so quickly, they might grow quickly in the warm period, slower in the cold period, but one of the endotherms typical characters is they always grow very fast, which approve dinosaurs are not the endotherms.

作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-7 00:13

The reading passage and professor's lecture both explored the issue whether dinosaurs are endotherms or not. The reading passage uses three specific arguments to claim that the dinosaurs are the endotherms. However, the professor holds the opposite idea(idea的意思是想法,个人觉得opinion观念更加合适), and she argues back to court parts which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claimed (时态错了,要注意)that the dinosaurs are endotherms by state(stating) the dinosaurs fossils had been found in the polar regions, which approve(approves) that dinosaurs are endotherms because they could living such cold climates. on the contrary, the professor argues back the polar region in that period may not cold like nowadays. Moreover, the professor also indicates that dinosaur may migrate to other area when polar region becomes cold. Therefore, fossils been found in the polar region does not approve that they are endotherms.

At last, the professor agrees that dinosaur does contain Haversian canals which help them to grow quickly in their bone structure. However, the professor states that growth ring of dinosaur are rather different, some thick, some are not, which means they are not always grow so quickly, they might grow quickly in the warm period, slower in the cold period, but one of the endotherms(endotherms') typical characters is they always grow very fast, which approve(approves) dinosaurs are not the endotherms.

作者: kaddish 时间: 2012-8-7 15:22

Nowadays, as the gradually fiercercompetition in economics and society, understand the basic and essence of the去掉economics will strengthen individual’s ability in the competition. Therefore,some people advocate high school student should take the course of basiceconomics. However, I tend to hold the opposite ideas, my statement areasfollowings我只看到过follows 和followed.

To begin with, high school student wasburdened by heavy massive courses already. Have you ever see all high school students’context books?能用到问句蛮好 If you look into one of high school students’ classroom, I amsure you will see tons of books on their desk; the whole room even looks likelibrary. Needless to say how heavy the study task it is for them. Moreover,especially in China, the有点喜欢乱加冠词 high school student facing (is facing)the pressure of enrolled(enrollment of) byuniversity. The students have to spear no effort to pursue a good score thusenrolled by better university.(这句话斟酌下吧，明显的语病，thus是连词) Therefore, it is unlikely they could take basiceconomics course which are not required by the university’s enroll examination.（the university entrance exam大学入学考试）这最后一句话是神马意思呢，亲，和上文的逻辑有虾米关系啊

Another important statement iseconomics rather abstract. If student （要注意单复数，还有亲老是忘记谓语啊，be familiar with）never familiar with advanced mathematics,it will be very hard for them to understand economics. In economic study, thereare a lot of laws and terms, which is(are,前面是两个部分啊) evolved from advanced mathematics; （这里建立来个转折连词吧）highschool students only have basic mathematics knowledge. In other words, highschool students（are,又是谓语==） just simply not qualified to study basic economics due to lackof relatively advanced mathematics knowledge.

The last but not the least, noteveryone is interested in economics. Some people（谓语！！） interested in natural science,some are more into engineering, some are fan（s） of medical; Thus, adding basiceconomics course may become another extra burden for students who are not sointerested in it. Take myself as an example; I am a literature major studentwho (谓语)more interested in literature, history, art, and movie. If my high schooladds the basic economic course, I will be more headache than ever.(明显的chinglish，换种说法吧亲) Needless tosay （出现两次虽然这个结构不错）I am（have） already complained about the mathematics and physics.这里建议写成因为学习经济导致你其他更重要的课程学不好了，而不是再次重复burden这个第一个论点出现过的

In conclusion, high school students areburden too much courses语病, their insufficient basic knowledge on advancemathematics, as well as individuals' different interests, all made the idea ofadding basic economics course to high school rather unreasonable.这句子结构挺好哈啊哈

总：妹纸，注意谓语，可能是疏忽了吧亲，语病有点小多，然后逻辑论证上再稍微丰富点，cheer up

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-9 14:04
标题: TPO 5 综合

The reading passage explored the issue of what is the real purpose of the Chaco Canyon's "Great houses". The author brought out three possible theories to explain the functions of the great house. However, the professor's lecture holds the opposite opinions, and he argues back three court parts theories accordingly.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the great house is for residential purpose, because the great house shares the same resemblance with the earlier versions of the architecture at Taos. On the contrary, the professor argues, although from outside it is looked like a residential building, but inside not.If it's residential apartment it should contain many fire places for cooking. However, the reality is there are only few fire places which could be used for 10 families, compared with the whole building could be used for 100 families, it's is unlikely the building is functional for residential purpose.

Secondly, the reading passage contends that Chaco structures were served as storage place. However, the professor argues back if it is a storage place, more storage food such as maize or big container would be uncovered.

At last, the reading passage states that the third possible explanation of which is served as ceremonial center. Because archaeologists identified a pile of mound such broken pots on the site. On the other hand, the professor argues that other material such as construction tools also be found. Moreover, the professor gives a possible explanation that might be just regular garbage. Therefore, the ceremonial purpose function is also not convincing.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-10 22:45
dear shery，等着你8 9 的独立作文哈，写好了告诉我就好。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-11 22:39

8月11日

To improve the quality of education,University should spend more money on salary for professor.

When it comes to thevaluation of university ‘s quality of education, talented professors, undoubtlyit is one of most important aspects. Other than that, the infrastructure, theequipment that the university possessed, ambiences of the university, as wellas the management style of the university, all combined together as a whole tocontribute the quality of the university. Therefore, it is far from enough tojust invest more money on salary for professor.

To begin with, well-planedschool architecture is essential for the quality of education, offeringstudents confortable and convenience environment for their study and live isthe prerequisite of quality education. Only those meet the needs, the moreimprovement could be implemented. Moreover, the advanced equipment forlaboratory research and study is another key points of quality education. A lotof the faculty or academic could attracts more student because they have themost advanced equipment; therefore, professor and students have better chanceto develop new discovers and consequently become the leading laboratory in thefield, which is needless to say will enhance the quality of the university education.

Another equally importantpoint is the management style and the ambience created by key individualsleader. Running a university just like running a business, capable managementlevel also will improve the quality of the education, and the key individualleader played a significant role in creating the ambience of the university.Take former principle of the Beijing University Mr. Cai Yuan Pei as an example,before principle Cai, Beijing University is surrounded by some negativeatmosphere. Students are focused on seeking for more promise future in careerand wealth instead of study knowledge. When principle Cai took over, headvocates the students should focus on academics, university are not just aplace to get a degree and use it for better future, neither just sell forknowledge. University should cultivate academics interests and personality forstudents.

Granted, offeringcompetitive compensation would be a good strategy to attract more talentedprofessors, thus can greatly improve the quality of the education. However,it’s far from enough to achieve the goal for university. Besides, theprofessors also will considered a series facts of university before he decidedto take the offer, such as will the university will help me to pursue a betteracademic goals in the future other than just money sides.

In conclusion, well-planedarchitecture, advanced equipment, individual key leader, efficient management,as well as talented professors all play significant roles in the quality of theeducation. Therefore, just focus on one single side will not succeed.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-11 23:16
TPO 9

The reading passage claims the future alternative for internal-combustion could be hydrogen-based fuel cell engine. The author provided three specific advantages of the hydrogen fuel. On the contrary, the professor cast doubts on the reading passages' statement, and she argues back with the counterparts which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the petroleum is a finite resource, but the hydrogen can be derived from many resources such as water. However, the professor argues that the hydrogen actually is not easy to achieve, from water to generate hydrogen needs fulfill several request. First the storage for hydrogen, second, the temperature has to be miner 200. Therefore, it's not practical for the accessibilities of the hydrogen.

Secondly, although the hydrogen in car use will not produce any pollution, the process of making hydrogen will produce massive pollutions. While producing hydrogen, burning coals and oils will cause severe pollutions.

At last, fuel cell engines will not be economically compared with conventional fuel engine. To produce a fuel cell engines need a special steel, which is much expensive than the regular engine material, and the equipment to produce hydrogen are also very expensive, therefore, it is unlikely the fuel cell engine and hydrogen will be a suitable alternatives for petroleum.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weakness of the reading passage, and convincingly shows the reading passage is too optimistic for the fuel cell engine thus not practical at all.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-11 23:17
嘿嘿,不好意思,犯懒了. 不知道怎么写, 不写了.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-12 13:54

嘿嘿,不好意思,犯懒了. 不知道怎么写, 不写了.

-- by 会员 sherryzhangh (2012/8/11 23:17:16)

take it easy, 今天我来跟你改吧

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-12 15:49
标题: TPO 10 8月12号

The reading passage explored the issue of what are the possible answers to the sea otter populations declining in a few years ago. the professor's lecture discusses the same issue. However, the professor holds opposite opinions, and she argues back the counterparts which brough out by the reading passage accordingly.

To start with, the reading passage asserts that the pollution seems play the most important role in impair of the sea otters. However, the professor claims that if it is indeed, the pollutions impact on sea otter, how come there are no dead body of the sea otter has ever been found at all. Moreover, the professor states that the most possible reason might be predators, rather than pollution.

Secondly, the reading passage states that other sea mammals such as seals and sea lions were also declining; therefore it must be the pollution which killed the sea species. On the contrary, the professor argues back that it does happened to other sea species, but it is the human predatory killed the sea mammals instead of pollution did.

Thirdly, the reading passage claims that due to the uneven pattern of otter decline, which indicates the pollution take place in different area also approved that pollution is the key reason. However, the professor argues back because of the uneven pattern, which indicates that is the predator rather than pollution harmed the sea otter. Because the less declining area is just the place where the predator such as orca cannot access to, shallow water.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-12 15:59
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

When it comes to the valuation of university ‘s quality of education, talented professors, undoubtly it is one of most important aspects. Other than that, the infrastructure, the equipment that the university possessed, ambiences of the university, as well as the management style of the university, all combined together as a whole to contribute the quality of the university. Therefore, it is far from enough to just invest more money on salary for professor.

To begin with, well-planed school architecture is essential for the quality of education,(这里加上个连接词)offering students confortable and convenience environment for their study and live is the prerequisite of quality education. Only those meet the needs, the more improvement could be implemented. Moreover, the advanced equipment for laboratory research and study is another key points of quality education. A lot of the faculty or academic（感觉这里有点不和后面的连贯额） could attracts more student because they have the most advanced equipment; therefore, professor and students have better chance to develop new discovers and consequently become the leading laboratory in the field, which is needless to say will enhance the quality of the university education.

Another equally importantpoint is the management style and the ambience created by key individuals leader. Running a university just like running a business, capable management level also will improve the quality of the education, and the key individual leader played a significant role in creating the ambience of the university. Take former principle of the Beijing University Mr. Cai Yuan Pei as an example, before principle Cai, Beijing University is surrounded by some（a） negative atmosphere. Students are focused on seeking for more promise future in career and wealth instead of study knowledge. When principle Cai took over, headvocates the students should focus on academics, university are not just a place to get a degree and use it for better future, neither just sell for knowledge. University should cultivate academics interests and （proper, correct, positive）personality for students.

Granted, offering competitive compensation would be a good strategy to attract more talented professors, thus can greatly improve the quality of the education. However, it’s far from enough to achieve the goal for university. Besides, the professors also will considered a series facts of university before he decided to take the offer, such as will the university will help me to pursue a better academic goals in the future other than just money sides.

In conclusion, well-planed architecture, advanced equipment, individual key leader, efficient management,as well as talented professors all play significant roles in the quality of the education. Therefore, just focus on one single side will not succeed.
整体不错，就是把例子在具体一点就好。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-13 00:13
标题: 8月12号独立

8月12日

It is better to finish aproject completely and then begin a new one than work on two or more projectsat the same time

Do you remember a highschool question refer to how to coordinate time? The question is: laundry takesyour 40 minutes, cooking consume your 30 minutes, cleaning house needs 20minutes. How do you manage to finish all those work in hour or less? Any onewho has capable logical mentality would provide the answer: put the cloth inthe laundry machine, it takes around 5 minutes; while the machine is working,you could prepare food, it probably will take 15-20 minutes. While you waitingfor you food is being boiled. You could clean the house. If you were efficientenough, it probably would only take you an hour even less to finish it. Therefore,I would believe you definitely will be on my side when it comes to whether weshould finish a project completely and then begin a new one or work on two ormore projects at the same time. Of course, I prefer the latter one, the reasonare as follows.

To start with, it is ratherpractical to just doing one thing at a time. The reality is, most of the time,when things happened, they happened together. You never know when the newproject will come to you, are you really going to say no to your boss or yourclients just because you have one single project is being processed? That youcannot take a hand out to do more? No, of course not, I believe if you said no,you had turned them off, probably they will never ask for you again. Moreover,it might make them reevaluated your work ability, I believe in the recruitingAds, there should be always have an request, which is be able to handmultitasks. Therefore, handle two or more things are essential ability for yourlife and career.

Another equally importantpoint is handle two or more things at the same time will reduce the costs suchas costs for time, human and even material resources. Take one example in theTV commercial industrial as an example, the clients needs to shoot more than 5commercials which will distribute in 5 different countries, if I was theproduce, I would suggest them to shoot together, because from the humanresource side I could hire one creating team, it probably will takes longertime than to finish a single one and more people needs to get evolved and beingmanaged. But from the long run, and the financial side or for the time sake itwill benefits all. I could get better rates for the equipment that needs to berented; get a better price for bring the location and props preparation budgetdown; even the clients can get a better package price for doing it. Therefore,we can all take advantages for doing multi-projects together.

Admittedly, handling onesingle project at one time will guarantee the project to be done perfectly. Youcould devote more time and energy to it. However, capable of handling more thanone doesn’t mean the project quality will be discounted. All in all, in thisfiercer competing society, handling multi-tasks is essential for our life.

作者: 浅吟天 时间: 2012-8-13 11:16
黄色模版加好的，绿色批注红色我改的

TPO 10 8月12号

The reading passage explored the issue of（改成that把，OF后不加句子） what are the possible answers to the sea otter populations declining in a few years ago. the professor's lecture discusses the same issue. However, the professor holds opposite opinions, and she argues back the counterparts which brough(brought) out by the reading passage accordingly.(建议第一段再实在些，那两个原因可以提一提)

To start with, the reading passage asserts that the pollution seems（有个to吧） play the most important role in impair（impairing） of the sea otters. However, the professor claims that if it is indeed, the pollutions impact on sea otter, how come there are no dead body（bodies） of the sea otter has ever been found at all. Moreover, the professor states that the most possible reason might be predators, rather than pollution.

Thirdly, the reading passage claims that due(我没看懂这句结构，但due 肯定形式不对） to the uneven pattern of otterdecline, which indicates the pollution take（单数） place in different area also approved that pollution is the key reason. However, the professor argues back （能换个词吗,每段都是这个，claim ,hold, contend, explain）because of the uneven pattern, which indicates that（加个it） is the predator rather than pollution harmed（两个动词了，我也不知道这么简练的表达，若我改：it is A rather than B that do harm to C） the sea otter. Because the less declining area is just the place where the predator such as orca (who) cannot access to, shallow water.(这句话很奇怪，我没看太懂)

总的来说，有点小语法错误，这点与lz的功底不配啊，我记得以前改过你的独立的，很好的，所以写时再注意下，不然丢分多可惜。

第二就是听的可以再细致些，这是我们俩都有的问题了，有些点可以更好的。（反省我自己，这篇也听的不好，回头重写）

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-13 18:04
标题: TPO11 8月13号

The reading passage explored the issue of today the young generation are reading far less literature-novels, plays than they used to. Thus, it affects the reading public and lower culture standard in general. However, the professor holds the opposite opinions. She uses three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the decline has been sharply for literature reading, which is harm the young generation and missing out on important benefits. On the contrary, although the professor admitted that young generation is less reading literature than before. However, that doesn't mean they didn't read at all, Science, history and political reviews all well written, available to youth. Therefore, it not necessarily causes the low culture standard if the literature not being read by youth.

Moreover, the reading passage reasons that young people likes to read prevalent self-help books which are usually poorly written, and less demanding on intellectual aspects. The professor contends; although in general youth is decline to read than before, the alternatives music and movies are actually advanced form expressions available better than literature.

At last, the reading passage blames the reader who is responsible for the declination. However, the professor asserts that is the writers who need to be blamed. Because modern literature intends to be difficulty for readers to understand. Therefore, the reading passage’s arguments are untenable.

作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-13 18:17
Do you remember a highschool question refer to how to coordinate time? The question is: laundry takesyour 40 minutes, cooking consume(s) your 30 minutes, cleaning house needs 20minutes. How do you manage to finish all those work in hour or less? Any onewho has capable logical mentality would provide the answer: put the cloth inthe laundry machine, it takes around 5 minutes; while the machine is working,you could prepare food, it probably will take 15-20 minutes. While you waitingfor you food is being boiled. You could clean the house. If you were efficientenough, it probably would only take you an hour even less to finish it. Therefore,I would believe you definitely will be on my side when it comes to whether weshould finish a project completely and then begin a new one or work on two ormore projects at the same time. Of course, I prefer the latter one, the reasonare as follows.(由题目引出主题是很新颖,不过个人觉得太长了点,例子可以作为一个body paragraph来写了...)

To start with, it is ratherpractical to just doing one thing at a time. The reality is, most of the time,when things happened, they happened together. You never know when the newproject will come to you, are you really going to say no to your boss or yourclients just because you have one single project is being processed? That youcannot take a hanod out to do more? No, of course not,(这里应该是yes吧...) I believe if you said no,you had turned them off(turn off不是关掉的意思么,难道还有拒绝?turn down吧...), probably they will never ask for(delete for/ ask for your help) you again. Moreover,it might make them reevaluated your work ability, I believe in the recruitingAds, there should be always have an request, which is be able to handmultitasks. Therefore, handle two or more things are essential ability for yourlife and career.

Another equally importantpoint is handle two or more things at the same time will reduce the costs suchas costs for time, human and even material resources. Take one example in theTV commercial industrial as an example, the clients needs to shoot more than 5commercials which will distribute in 5(楼主打算考试的时候写阿拉伯数字么?=.=) different countries, if I was theproduce, I would suggest them to shoot together, because from the humanresource side I could hire one creating team, it probably will takes longertime than to finish a single one and more people needs to get evolved and beingmanaged. But from the long run, and the financial side or for the time sake itwill benefits all. I could get better rates for the equipment that needs to berented; get a better price for bring the location and props preparation budgetdown; even the clients can get a better package price for doing it. Therefore,we can all take advantages for doing multi-projects together.

Admittedly, handling onesingle project at one time will guarantee the project to be done perfectly. Youcould devote more time and energy to it. However, capable of handling more thanone(at the same time) doesn’t mean the project quality will be discounted. All in all, in thisfiercer competing society, handling multi-tasks is essential for our life.

楼主写的很不错,错误很少.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-13 21:55
标题: 8月13日独立

8月13日

Know about the eventshappening around the world that do not affect our life. D\A

Have you ever heard about butterfly effects? The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings mightcreate tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay,accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in another location. Theflapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system,which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events.The example may be a little exaggerated, but it’s clearly showed mystandpoints. I couldn’t agree more of knowing about the events that happeningaround the world would affect our life, the reasons are as follows.

To start with, understanding what's going on with this world could help us follow the rapid steps of theworld. Which means in the up roaring economic era, we could have integrated viewpoints for what we have been encountered. If we fail to understand that, might cause severe result. Take aninvestment company as an example; if they want to invest some money in anothercountry, knowing what happened in this country such as politics, economics andculture would be essential. It will be helpful if they could understand theirpolitics environment, therefore reduce the any risks on the policy issues;knowing about their economic atmosphere would benefits the expanding strategy;of course culture will help them to integrated into the local life. Otherwisethey might confront great risks.

Another equally important point is knowing about what happened outside could enrich our life, broaden our horizons. Take myself as an example; I accidentally saw a news that cruiseline tour is expanding in Asia, then I found out that one of the biggest cruiseline group is looking for Chinese employees. Therefore, I applied for it and luckily I got the offer, so I have the opportunity to travel around theworld. If I didn’t even care about what’s going on with the cruise, I would never have the chance to see the world in this way, which gives me amazing and memorable experiences.

Granted, most of the times, knowing about events happening doesn’t necessarily affects your life. However, doesn’t

care about anything outside of your world definitely will stifle your mentality. Given humans is society species. Therefore we need to have a better understanding of others, mainly through knowing about events happening around.

作者: kaddish 时间: 2012-8-14 16:11
标题: 修改8.13综合

The reading passage explored the issue of (语法错误要么改成从句，of 后面连接的是短语或者名词)today the young generation are reading far less literature-novels, plays than they used to（不完整吧）. Thus, it affects the reading public and lower （注意单复数）culture standard in general. However, the professor holds the opposite opinions. She uses three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts（这个词再去查查吧） which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the decline has been sharply for literature reading, which is harm（用错形式了） the young generation and （这里主谓不一致，请细查，miss out是人的行为，但你这的主语是decline）missing out on important benefits. On the contrary, although the professor admitted that young generation is less reading literature than before. However, that doesn't mean they didn't read at all, Science, history and political reviews all well written, available to youth. (这里的谓语呢？)Therefore, it not necessarily causes the low culture standard if the literature not being read by youth.漏了很大的信息点吧，instigate intelligence

Moreover, the reading passage reasons that young people likes to read prevalent self-help books which are usually poorly written, and less demanding on intellectual aspects.（又缺失谓语--） The professor contends; although in general youth is decline to read than before（检查一下，有语病）, the alternatives music and movies are actually advanced form expressions available better than literature.总感觉又漏了一些点

At last, the reading passage blames the reader who is responsible for the declination. However, the professor asserts that it is the writers who need to be blamed. Because modern literature intends to be difficulty（difficult） for readers to understand. Therefore, the reading passage’s arguments are untenable.

作者: kaddish 时间: 2012-8-14 16:22
标题: 8.13独立修改

Have you ever heard about butterfly effects? The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings mightcreate tiny changes in the atmospherethat may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay,accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in another location. Theflapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system,which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events.The example may be a little exaggerated, but it’s clearly showed mystandpoints. I couldn’t agree more of knowing about the events that happeningaround the world would affect our life, and the reasons are as follows.

To start with, understanding what's going on with this world could help us follow the rapid steps of theworld. Which means in the up roaring economic era, （亲，注意语法问题呢，这里which怎么能单独引导一个句子）we could have integrated viewpoints for what we have been encountered. If we fail to understand that, might cause severe result. （有语病）Take aninvestment company as an example; if they want to invest some money in anothercountry, knowing what happened in this country such as politics, economics andculture would be essential. It will be helpful if they could understand theirpolitics environment, therefore reduce the（去掉） any risks on the policy issues;（这里的therefore 用的都点突然，，，为什么会减少没讲明白）knowing about their economic atmosphere would benefits the expanding strategy;of course culture will help them to integrated into the local life. Otherwisethey might confront great risks.

Granted, most of the times, knowing about events happening doesn’t necessarily affects your life. However, doesn’t

care about anything outside of your world definitely will stifle your mentality. Given humans is society species.（这里建议用单数吧） Therefore we need to have a better understanding of others, mainly through knowing about events happening around.这段的理由还是展开的不够充分

？？没有结尾段啊--

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-14 21:26
标题: TPO 12
The reading passage explored the issue of whether the potrait of a teenage girl belongs to Jane Austen- one of the most famous of all English bovelists, or not. Reading passage lists three supportive assumptions and claims the portaits is Jane Austen. However, the professor cast serious doubt on it, he used three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts which brought out by the reading passage.

To begin with, the reading passage claims Jane Austen's family recognized it as the portrait of the author. However, the professor states that is unlikely the loose relatives had ever saw Jane Austen themselves, because it's been 70 years after Jane Austen's death. Therefore, the approval of the relatives is untenable.

Moreover, the reading passage reasons that the portrait clearly resembles the one on Cassandra's sketch. On the contrary, the professor contends that Jane Austen has a large family; the portrait could be easily as one of the cousins or children of the cousins. In fact, it is identified as one of Jane Austen resembles cousin named Mary Ann.

At last, the reading passage assumes the portrait is created by Humphrey, who is famous painter and affordable by wealthy Austen family. However, the professor claims that the stamp on the canvas shows that it was sold by a man named William. However, this man is not work in London until Jane Austen was 27 years old. Therefore, the portrait of teenage is unlikely Jane Austen herself.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-15 20:55
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Whether the continuously advancing technology has already given birth to the most significant change of people’s live in the past several centuries is relatively a subject of discussion. Despite the fact that some legendary inventions such as light bulb, steam machine and Internet did push the human civilization into new eras, what will happen in the future still remains unpredictable. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she will be confident of the surely brighter future and therefore disagree with the title statement as I do.

At the very beginning, I have to admit that inventions worked out by our creative and smart predecessors have improved the quality of people’s life to an unprecedented level. This point can be perfectly illustrated by the development of medicine during the past several years. Among the generation of our parents and grandparents, cancer was a word that is always accompanied with death and fear. However, present medical techniques entirely changed people’s attitude towards cancer. Deeper research findings, stronger skills of doctoring, and more powerful equipments in hospitals all helped to raise the survival rate of cancerous patients, which results in worldwide longevity and high quality of life. Besides medicine, achievements reached in transportation, communication, and entertainment all seems so amazing that are impossible to be surpassed.

However, there is a saying goes that, “possibility of progress lives in the existence of flaw.” As we do not live in a perfect world, the chance to optimize those unsatisfying points makes it possible for new technologies to achieve a larger success. It is widely known that majority of African live in a poor condition, suffering poverty, illness, and war. If scientists can work out new ways to improve the situation in Africa, for example, to fertilize their sterile farmland into loam, to eliminate the wide-spread infective illness, to boost their economic development, and to peace those long-last dispute of land ownership, these new technologies would undoubtedly be treated equally important with the former ones as they contribute to the overall improvement of the world’s average live standard（standard 只是jiao的不是太合适）.

Another reason that should not be ignored is that no one is able to predict the future. The possibility that people’s life can be completely changed should never be denied. Actually, many high-tech and advanced skills we can see in the science fiction movie act as examples for the future we could expect. One of my most expressed techniques is the one that enable human to teleport. Acquiring this technique, the pace of human’s life would soar up, fuel and room used for transportation can be reserved for a better use, and the time spent on road could be used for more meaningful place. With hope of new technique like this, it is too early to conclude what the most significant technology is.（感觉着最后一句放首句的话更突出一点）

Taking into account all the factors discussed above, I am full convincing that more significant science advances is surely going to happen in the future. If there is anyone who still doubt the room for science to develop, who still wonder the existence of more advanced skills, and who still do not understand the unpredictability of future, this passage is my answer.

整篇都不错

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-15 23:14

8月15日

Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement. Parents should allow their children to makemistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes

When it comes to children,parents could be overprotective sometimes. They tend to arrange everything forchildren; offer all available conveniences; Moreover, they even try to take allthe responsibilities of their children. Because they want to assist theirchildren as much as possible and would not want them to make any mistake thusavoid the frustration. However, as far as I am concerned, this could be harmfulto the children and the parents.

Another equally importantpoint is children will never develop an independent personality if parentskeeping to be overprotective to them. From psychological point, if childrennever makes mistakes, probably have two reasons; one is children are afraid ofmake mistake thus lose the love of parents; another is parents over protectivetry to give too much conduction for their children. The consequences for thosetwo reasons probably will make children either a timid character that’s afraidof making mistakes or an arrogant personality due to never fail with theparents’ aid. None of them are independent healthy personalities, if childrennever make mistake or fail, they would never know what is appreciation means. Therefore,for the sake of children’s psychological healthiness, parents should givechildren some space to develop on their own.

Granted, mistakes made bychildren sometimes could be severe and thus bring unavoidable lost for parents.However, that doesn’t mean that parents should deprive the rights of childrento develop on their own. Only if they make mistakes, they will have the chanceto learn from it. Therefore, the same kind of mistake could be avoided in thefuture.

Taking into account all the factorsdiscussed above, make no mistakes isn’t going to help children develop,moreover, it probably will create a strong parents and a weak children.Therefore, I am fully convinced children should make mistakes and learn fromit.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-15 23:52
标题: TPO 13

The reading passage explored the issue of fossils commercialization has brought some negative results. The professor's lecture deals the same topic. However, she holds the opposite opinions, and she use three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts brought out by the reading.

To start with, the reading claims that the fossil collector has privatized all the fossils, thus the public lose the chance to view it and consequently the public interest in fossil has been declined. On the contrary, the professor argues the fossil commercialization give great exposure to fossils instead of hide them from the public. Moreover, some universities and small museum even got better opportunities to possess it. Therefore, it would not necessarily cause the public interest decline to fossils.

Secondly, the reading passage assumes the scientist will miss out the access to view valuable fossils. However, the professor states that before any fossil could be evaluated and put a price on. It has to be gone through the detail examination of the experts; therefore, scientist would not miss anything.

At last, the reading passage reasons that commercial collectors often destroy valuable fossils due to careless. However, the professor argues if it is not the collector, most of the fossils still going to be remain underground. Because universities and scientist usually do not have funds to procedure underground discover activities. Compared with all fossils still being undiscovered, some destroy could overweigh the remaining underground.

作者: 235852140 时间: 2012-8-16 16:25

8月15日独立批改 Parents should allow their children to makemistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes
建议和注意错误

When it comes to children,parents could be overprotective sometimes. They tend to arrange everything forchildren; offer all available conveniences（不可数）; Moreover（分好后面的单词用小写开头）, they even try to take allthe responsibilities of their children. Because(because书面语中一般是放在句子里的，比如I did it because they asked me to do it. 可以把前面的句号改为逗号，或者把because换成the reason is that或It was because ) they want to assist theirchildren as much as possible and would not want them to make any mistake thusavoid the frustration.（改， thus avoiding... thus的用法:1. ...and thus...。2. ..., thus doing.... ） However, as far as I am concerned, this could be harmfulto the children and the parents.（开头不错哦，还运用了排比的手法，赞，不过注意一些单词中间忘记打空格和一些小错误，这样机判的时候会扣分哦，逗号后面也要有空格）

To start with, as one of theold saying goes: practices makes perfect. If children never got a chance tomake mistakes, which means to do it on their own, they probably will neverlearn anything. Take how to learn swim as an example;（改，）some children are afraidof water, at the same time the parents also worried about their security,（run-on句型，没有连词）ifthe children had never got the chance into the pool and practice, and even tastesome salty water, they probably will drown in another kind of pool—the parents’cosset. Consequently, they may never learn how to swim. What parents should dois encourage children and conduct（用guide更好，conduct做动词有进行（研究），指挥（乐团），传导（电，热）的意思。） them on how to swim, （如果是逗号，就和后面又形成了run-on句型了）afraid of children’s mistakethat they probably will make, isn’t going to help anything.（从逻辑上讲，第一句应该统领这一段，第一句的意思大概是练习越多越好，和第二句“如果孩子们没有机会去犯错，他们也许将什么也学不到”，这两句的逻辑衔接不太好，没有表明练习和犯错有什么关系，其实第二句就可以作为本段的中心句。）

Another equally importantpoint is （that）children will never develop an independent personality if parentskeeping（改keep，要不没动词了） to be overprotective to them. From psychological point, if childrennever makes（去掉S） mistakes, probably have two reasons; one is （that）children are afraid ofmake（making） mistake（and） thus lose the love of parents; another is parents over protectivetry（拼错了） to give too much conduction（conduction是传导，不是引导） for their children. The consequences for thosetwo reasons probably will make（make改用result in或contribute to更好，另外前面说了consequences了，后面就不能是“后果又造成什么什么了”，直接就应该是 “后果是什么什么”） children either a timid character that’s afraidof making mistakes or an arrogant personality due to never fail with theparents’ aid. None of them are independent healthy personalities,（and） if childrennever make mistake or fail, they would never know what is（去掉is） appreciation means. Therefore,for the sake of children’s psychological healthiness, parents should givechildren some space to develop on their own.（试用if的频率很高，可以尝试换换其他句型。从心理学角度的分析思路很好。）

Granted,（应该不用逗号，改成Granted that...，例句：Granted that you are correct, you may find it hard to prove your point. ） mistakes made bychildren sometimes could be severe and thus bring unavoidable lost for parents.However, that doesn’t mean that parents should deprive the rights of childrento develop on their own. （这个develop on their own在文中出现频率也比较高，可以试试其他表达方法，以免考官觉得boring）Only if they make mistakes, they will have the chanceto learn from it. Therefore, the same kind of mistake could be avoided in thefuture.
Taking into account all the factorsdiscussed above, make（making） no mistakes isn’t going to help children develop,moreover（moreover是副词，前面要句号结束，开始新的一句话）, it probably will create a strong parents and a weak children.Therefore, I am fully convinced （that）children should make mistakes and learn fromit.（其实不是“孩子应该犯错误”，而是“家长应该允许孩子犯错误”）

ps：注意各种英文标点符号的应用，以免产生语法错误。一个句子只能有一个动词，否则要用连词连接。
注意空格，不要忘记打哦，电脑判分的时候会视作错误的单词，可以用最后一两分钟时间检查一下。不过我不知道是不是传上来的问题，可能你打了空格，但是贴上来就消失了吧。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-16 21:15

8月16日

Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve successwith help from one’s family than what is like before.
Undoubtedly, within family’s aid one is mucheasier to achieve success. Family could provide available networks that hasbeen build since the parents generation; Family could offer their descentsnecessary advises for avoiding possible difficulties they might be encountered;Family may also could finance the initial funds for what you really needs tostart you own business or the dream that you eager to pursue. However, that atbest is the start up, the most important roles for achieving success arecapabilities, persistent, devote as much as endeavor as possible, may be somekind of lucky as well. My reasons are as follows.

To start with, personal capabilities areessential to success. Whatever the family could provide such as good network,advise or money; if one is incapable of taking challenge, not being able tosolve all possible obstacles, most likely would not achieve any success. Take atraditional Chinese novel character Liu Chan as an example; Liu chan is theonly son of Liu Bei, who is the king of kingdom Shu, one of the countries ofthree-kingdom period. He devoted all his life and conquered kingdom Shu withhis loyalty advisers and courtiers. After he passes away, his kingdom inheritedto his only son—Liu Chan. However, Liu Chan is mental challenged. He does nothave the capabilities to run a country as a king. Even with the full support ofthe loyalty courtiers. He still cannot keep his kingdom as integrated likebefore. Not long other opponents conquered it.

Another equally important point is that persistentas well much afford devoted to may reach the goal of success. On the way tobeing achievable, one will encounter unpredicted obstacles. They may seemunconquerable. However, with much endeavor and persistent, one can solve thedifficulty soon or later, the one who can hold on it, will be the finalsuccessor. There is old saying that geniuses are one percent of talent plusninety nine percent of endeavor. Success would not come to you because you havegood family support or born with golden spoon, they come to you because youdesire for it and willing to work hard on it.

At last, let’s talk about lucky. Lucky is onemystery thing no one can tell what is really look like, but is indeed aroundus, and it’s always chosen the one who is capable and prepared for it. TakeOlympic athlete Matthew Emmons as an example; he is one ofthe most talented shooters. Like every athlete who can participate in theOlympic final games, he is not only talented but also have spirit of fight.However, he just cannot achieve the championship. Whatever you say is it luckyor psychological quality, championship of Olympic finals just never happened tohim.

Take into all accounts that has been discussedabove, strong individual capabilities, persistent, great endeavor, possiblelucky are indispensible facts to success rather than just a rich dad.

作者: 235852140 时间: 2012-8-16 21:52
综合批的晚了十分抱歉错误建议和小注意好
The reading passage explored the issue of fossils commercialization（commercialization用的不错，不过“化石的商业化”？改为the commercialization of fossil trading）has brought some negative results.（这个句子不错，不过前面说explored，后面就不能has了哦，改had）The professor's lecture deals the same topic. However, she holds the opposite opinions, and she use(uses） three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts brought out by the reading.(第一段清楚明了，赞) (注意文中保持时态一致，前面说explored，后面deals，会感觉时态混乱)

To start with, the reading claims that the fossil collector has privatized all the fossils, （+and 可以去掉thus 因为看到后面还有个consequently） thus the public lose the chance to view it and consequently the public interest in fossil has been declined. On the contrary, the professor argues （that）the fossil commercializationgive（s） great exposure to fossils instead of hide(hiding) them from the public. Moreover, some universities and small museum even got better opportunities to possess it. Therefore, it would not necessarily cause the public interest decline to fossils.

Secondly, the reading passage assumes the scientist will miss out the access to view valuable fossils. However, the professor states that before any fossil could be evaluated and put a price on. It has to be gone through the detail(detail没有形容词的意思哦，改detailed) examination of the experts; therefore, scientist would not miss anything.

At last, the reading passage reasons that commercial collectors often destroy valuable fossils due to careless. （非常简洁明了，赞） However, the professor argues（that） if it is not the collector,(说without the collector更好，如果用it is 的句型，可改写成强调句也不错，...argues that it is the collector who prevents most of fossils from remaining undergroud.) most of the fossils still going to be（少个be动词） remain underground. Because universities and scientist（s） usually do not have （enough）funds to procedure underground discover activities. Compared with all fossils still being undiscovered, some destroy could overweigh the remaining underground.（这个比较我不太确定可不可以）

ps：一些小短语用的很好啊！整体结构清晰，部分转述简洁明了。加油~

有改的不对的地方加我QQ讨论哦

作者: 235852140 时间: 2012-8-17 14:34
8.16 独立批改错误建议
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve successwith help from one’s family than what is like before.

Undoubtedly, within（within是在…内部） family’s aid one is mucheasier to achieve success. Family could provide available networks that hasbeen build （built）since the parents generation; Family could offer their descents necessary advises for avoiding possible difficulties they might be encountered;Family may also could （用一个情态动词就行） finance the initial funds for what you really needs tostart you own business or the dream that you eager to pursue. However, that atbest is the start up,(the start up 是创业，我感觉你是想说最多是个开始那就说 a beginning好了) the most important roles for achieving success arecapabilities, persistent, devote as much as endeavor as possible（这里你是并列了几项内容，并列的时候要结构一致，前面的capabilities,persistent,都是名词，这里devote动词就不并列了）,（and） may be somekind of lucky as well. My reasons are as follows. （开头结构很好，中间用排比说明，有亮点，在追求用词多样性的同时要注意准确性）

To start with, personal capabilities areessential to success. Whatever the family could provide such as good network,advise or money; if one is incapable of taking challenge, not being able tosolve all possible obstacles, most likely would not achieve any success. Take atraditional Chinese novel character Liu Chan as an example; Liu chan is theonly son of Liu Bei, who is the king of kingdom Shu, one of the countries ofthree-kingdom period. He （前文中说到liu chan 这里的he我相信你是再说liu bei, 所以he 的指代就出问题了，还是直接打上名字吧）devoted all his life and conquered kingdom Shu withhis loyalty advisers and courtiers. After he(前面的HE改成liu bei以后，这里就可以大胆的说he了) passes away, his kingdom inherited（被继承，少个be动词）to his only son—Liu Chan. However, Liu Chan is mental challenged.（这句话好像说他有精神病？我猜测你是想说这对他来说是个挑战？） He does nothave the capabilities to run a country as a king. Even with（改逗号哦，要不这句不是完整句子了） the full support ofthe loyalty courtiers. He still cannot keep his kingdom asintegrated likebefore. Not long other opponents conquered it. （亲的语法还是要注意哦）

Another equally important point is that persistentas well much afford devoted to may reach the goal of success. （这句看不懂+persistents拼写错）On the way tobeing achievable（在变得可完成的道路上，这个前半句的逻辑主语就是后面半句的one，人怎么能achievable），one will encounter unpredicted obstacles. They may seemunconquerable. （改seem to be unconquerable）However, with much endeavor and persistent, one can solve thedifficulty soon or later, the one who can hold on it, will be the finalsuccessor. There is old saying that geniuses are one percent of talent plusninety nine percent of endeavor. Success would not come to you（+just） because you havegood family support or born with golden spoon, （前面是个完整的句子，后面是个完整的句子，所以此处要不句号，要不加连词）they come to you because youdesire for it and willing to work hard on it.

At last, let’s talk about lucky. Lucky is onemystery thing(+and/that) no one can tell what is really look like,（what it really looks like） but (it) is indeed aroundus, and it’s always chosen the one who is capable and prepared for it. TakeOlympic athlete Matthew Emmonsas an example; he is one ofthe most talented shooters. Like every athlete who can participate in theOlympic final games, he is not only talented but also have spirit of fight.However, he just cannot achieve the championship. Whatever you say is it luckyor psychological quality, championship of Olympic finals just never happened tohim.

Take into all accounts that has been discussedabove, strong individual capabilities, persistent, great endeavor, possiblelucky are indispensible facts to success rather than just a rich dad.

PS: 还是有很多没有打空格的地方，两个词挨在一起了，是亲忘记打，还是上传的问题啊。我没有每处都给你画线这次。千万不要因为这个失分啊，很冤枉的。
另外，词、句的使用上还是要多注意，多揣摩，多查查。有时候可以用一些简单但很安全的词语，以免造成表述不清。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-20 22:53

8月20日

Your job hasmore effect on your happiness than your social life does.

Nowadays, withthe gradual fiercer competition in economics, people have to dedicate more timeand more endeavor to achieve a desired job. A desired job can bring you thesocial life that you being long to, meet more qualified people who also sharethe same interest with you. Therefore, I believe your job has more effect onyour happiness than your social life does. The reasons are as follows.
To start with,every one of us, more or less need to spend 8 hours per day at work. Everymorning, since the moment we open our eyes, we need to prepare work for theday. For the time sake, we need to spend one third of our time to works, theremust be some happiness, success feeling, and belongings feelings as well assecurity feelings that job can bring to us. If you do not feel excited for theday, then hardly that I can say job will bring your any happiness. You will belike walking corpses. I could not think even social life will have any help foryou either, which put you into vicious circle. Take one of people that I knowfor example, he is very unsatisfied about his current job, instead of dosomething about it, and he started to complaint it to every friend he know. Atthe beginning, people may show some sympathy for him, but as the whiningbecomes so severe, he actually pushes everyone away from himself. Needless tosay how unhappy he became.
Another equallyimportant point is that a desired job can bring your better financial rewards,thus to bring more pigment for your social life. Marx said, fundamentaleconomic determines social structures. As long as you are financiallysufficient then you will be able to pursue more spiritual needs. An economicdistressed individual hardly can have much capability for social life, whichleads to another vicious circle. It may sound harsh, but the reality is just asit is, hardly can never change. On the other hand, financial sufficient canprovide more comfortable life for families, as long as families happy, in asense it can make yourself happy too. Therefore, job does have more effects onthe individual happiness.

Admittedly, job may never bring you feelings likesocial life does as pure laugh and happiness. But take into account all thereasons above, for large extents that job could influence on our social life.Therefore, I agree that our job is more effect on our happiness than our sociallife does.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-20 22:54
标题: TPO18
TPO18

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly shows the tree solutions are not practical.

作者: winnie98 时间: 2012-8-21 17:50

批改：
8月20日Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

Nowadays, withthe gradual fiercer(gradually fierce此处不需要比较急) competition in economics(economic competition更好,没见过competition后接in的用法), people have to dedicate more time and more endeavor to achieve a desired job. A desired job can bring you the social life that you being long to, meet more qualified(不恰当,可换成like-minded) people who also share the same interest with you. Therefore, I believe your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does(此句无错,但个人建议少用第二人称。容易造成混乱。除非是疑问句). The reasons are as follows.
To start with,every one of us, more or less need to spend 8 hours per day at work. Every morning, since the moment we open our eyes, we need to prepare work for theday. For the time sake, we need to spend one third of our time to works(work当工作时,uncount), there must be some happiness, success feeling, and belongings feelings(归属感belongingness/sense of belonging) as well as security feelings that job can bring to us. If you do not feel excited for theday, then hardly that I can say job will bring your any happiness(hardly 置前需要倒装). You will be like walking corpses. I could not think even social life will have any help foryou either, which put you into vicious circle. Take one of people that I knowfor example, he is(was) very unsatisfied about his current job, (考虑and连接的平行结构,此处可以去掉逗号)instead of do(doing) something about it, and he started to complaint(complain) it to every friend he know. At the beginning, people may(might) show some sympathy for(to) him, but as the whining becomes so severe, he actually pushes everyone away from himself. Needless to say how unhappy he became.(例子部分时态问题较多，不一一改了)

Another equally important point is that a desired job can bring your better financial rewards,thus to(thus用法不对,可改为and then ) bring more pigment(色素,只有具体的含义,无抽象意思) for your(前后段一会your,一会our,人称混乱,不能按中文作文的人称思路写英文写作) social life. Marx said, fundamental economic(economics) determines social structures. As long as you are financially sufficient then(有adv./adj.词性,无conj.词性,不可连接句子) you will be able to pursue more spiritual needs. An economic distressed individual hardly can have much capability for social life, which leads to another vicious circle. It may sound harsh, but the reality is just as it is, hardly can never change(双重否定???). On the other hand, financial sufficient(这是adj.) can provide more comfortable life for families, as long as families happy(as long as后得接完整的句子), in a sense(sense后要加that才能看出是从句) it can make yourself happy too. Therefore, job(可数n.前必须接a/the,或用jobs) does have more effects on the individual happiness.

Admittedly, job may never bring you feelings like social life does as pure laugh and happiness.(这句语法错误太多...改为a job may never bring us feelings,such as pure laugh and happiness, as the social life does.) But take into account all the reasons above, for large extents that job could influence on our social life.Therefore, I agree that our job is(jobs have) more effect on our happiness than our social life does.

亲，我觉得你应该先好好的理顺一下基本语法知识，查清楚各个词语的正确使用。
虽说语法稍微有点错误没事，但是你的语法错误有点多,会被扣分的，而且表达不清。

结构方面，建议有能力的话最好写5段文。开头(1)+分论点(3)+结尾。

格式方面，可以用两种形式：1.空行式 2.首行缩进式。
我觉得你是想用空行式吧？那么段与段之间需要空一行的。

作者: klllun 时间: 2012-8-21 19:00
The reading passage explored the issue ofthe decline of the Torreya trees and addressed three possible solutions. However, the professor holds the opposite opinions.And she argues againstthe 3 specific solutions accordingly to readdress her idea.

To begin with, the reading passage suggestsuse the same location to help the Torreya tree to survival. However, theprofessor strongly against it by pointing out the global warming has caused thedryness and drain of the Florida. Therefore, it is impossible to provide thesuitable environment for Torreya to grow.（简介明了，这段写的很好！学习了）

Secondly, the reading passage claims thatshould relocated the tree to more northern where is relatively cooler. On theother hand, the professor argues that may cause serious ecological problem. She took the Black luster as an example, which is relocated toanother area due tothe environmental suitable reason. But it grow so rapidly actually caused otherspecies tress's declines, Which is also in the edge of extinction.（查了听力的文本，这里是the black locust tree，洋槐树，名字最纠结啊。）

At last, the reading passage suggests usethe monitored environment to create the microclimate in order to keep the tree live. However,the professor point out thelab capacity shortage won't provide enough population of the trees toagainst disease, which is easily infected by disease, therefore caused extinction.

In conclusion, the professor clearlyidentified the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly shows thetree solutions are not practical.
（最后一段可以不用，一般综合四段就好了。）

Sherryzhangh的文章有一气呵成的感觉。以后要常常来学习啊。感觉很好第一句都是总结了reading中的内容，而且教授指出文中的问题时都用到了概括性的名词，好厉害啊！崇拜一下下~所以表述就是简单精炼，感觉很流畅。大赞一个！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-21 21:45
标题: TPO 19

To start with, the reading passage claims that the buzz was conducted by the people we trusted. If they paid to buzz it, they would have to say the product is good instead of telling the truth. However, the buzzer argues that people becomes buzzer not only because they will get paid but also they really enjoy the products. Therefore, the positive massage which the buzzer are sending is the nothing but the truth.

Secondly, the reading passage states that when buzzer hidden privately and express how great the products was, the audience will 100% trust the statement without any skeptical. However, the buzzer claims hat quite the opposite, the audience usually ask a lot of questions about the products. If the buzzer couldn’t provide answer to them properly, they won't necessarily buy the buzzer's sell.

In conclusion, the buzzer clearly argued back the reading passage and convincingly shows that they are nothing but sincerely appreciated the products.

作者: winnie98 时间: 2012-8-21 22:49
5555

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-22 14:03
标题: 8月21号独立
Historically, People move to new places due to natural disaster or wars. In modern society, as the global economics developed, modern transportation tools are accessible to masses, people tends to move around in order to get further education or better career development. Some people hold the opinion that people should move less due to culture integrity, or most importantly, it will impair the old friendship. However, as far as I am concerned, I tend to disagree with it. The reasons are as follows.

To Start with, as the advanced development of technology, cell phone, computer, internet are accessible for everyone. Thus the communications between friends are available and convenient. Therefore, it would not harm the old friends at all. Take myself as an example, for taking further education and better career development, I moved to Capital city Beijing. Although I am far away from old friends, we are still keeping very close friendship. We talk to each other constantly via cell-phones, Skype, QQ etc. As long as there is good moment of sharing happiness and sadness, the friendship would not be impaired.

Another equally important point is that moving to new places not only will not harm old friends, but also will bring new friends and experience for us. Thanks for the modern transportation technology; people can travel from eastern side to the western side of the world less than 13 hours. Old friends can always visit us. Moreover, we will meet a lot of new friends during studying and working. Finally, from experience side, different city and country will bring us different experience; leaving some memorable times for our life.

Admittedly, Moving to a new place at the beginning can be scary and unaccustomed. People always worried about being alone or have to do everything on their own. However, as long as we survive through those difficulties, new life always can be fascinated.

Take into all accounts that has been discussed above, Moving to new place for study not only can bring us new experiences and friends for our life, but also unlikely to impair our friendship thanks to the modern technology. Therefore, we should embrace the new changes instead of just being at one place of our whole life.

作者: 桃花影子 时间: 2012-8-22 17:02
Historically, People move to new places due to natural disaster or wars. In modern society, as the global economics(economy) developed, modern transportation tools are accessible to masses(不清楚可不可以这样用), people tends to move around in order to get further education or better career development. Some people hold the opinion that people should move less due to culture integrity, or most importantly, it will impair the old friendship. However, as far as I am concerned, I tend to disagree with it. The reasons are as follows.

To Start with, as the advanced development of technology, cell phone, computer, and internet are accessible for everyone.（句子不完整，要么这里变成逗号，去掉thus） Thus the communications between friends are available and convenient. Therefore, it would not harm the old friends at all. Take myself as an example, for taking further education and better career development, I moved to Capital city Beijing. Although I am far away from old friends, we are still keeping very close friendship. We talk to each other constantly via cell-phones, Skype, QQ etc. As long as there is good moment of sharing happiness and sadness, the friendship would not be impaired.

Another equally important point is that moving to new places not only will not harm old friends, but also will bring new friends and experience for us. Thanks for the modern transportation technology; people can travel from eastern side to the western side of the world less than 13 hours. Old friends can always visit us. Moreover, we will meet a lot of new friends during studying and working. Finally, from experience side, different city and country will bring us different experience; leaving some memorable times for our life. 引申出来的这个观点挺好的，其实可以就这个来写下面那一段，应该会比较饱满，字数也会可观~

Admittedly, Moving to a new place at the beginning can be scary and unaccustomed. People always worried about being alone or have to do everything on their own. However, as long as we survive through those difficulties, new life always can be fascinated.

Take into all accounts that has been discussed above,（nice~不过后面的大小写错了吧~） Moving to new place for study not only can bring us new experiences and friends for our life, but also unlikely to impair our friendship thanks to the modern technology. Therefore, we should embrace the new changes instead of just being at one place of our whole life.

总体来说思路比较清晰，跟我写的挺像的~~主要就是语句的问题，有些读起来感觉怪怪的~其它大部分都挺好的~

作者: klllun 时间: 2012-8-22 20:59

TPO 19

TPO19
The reading passage explored the new tactics of advertising called buzz, andtends to hold the opinionof stronglyagaist (against)it. Moreover, the reading passage listed 3 specific nagative(negative) impacts on people and society to support its ideas. However, one of the buzzerholds the opposite opinions, and he argues back to the three specific points accordingly.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the buzz was conducted by thepeople we trusted. If they paid to buzz it, they would have to say the productis good instead of telling the truth. However, the buzzer argues that peoplebecomes buzzer not only because they will get paid but also (because,not only…but also 的平行要完全一致) they really enjoy the products. Therefore, the positive massage（message）which the buzzers are sending is thenothing but the truth.

Secondly, the reading passage states that when buzzer hidden privately andexpress how great the products was, the audience will 100% trust the statementwithout any skeptical. However, the buzzer claims that quite the opposite,（。） The audience usually ask a lot of questions about the products. If thebuzzer couldn’t provide answer to them properly, they won't necessarily buy thebuzzer's sell.

At last, the reading passage believes thebuzz will be harmful therelationship between people thus it(要代指的是前面的整件事情，所以用指代出来更好，而且说buzz造成逻辑上有点奇怪，说是由某件事情造成更好) causesdistrustful hazard among the society. On the other hand, the buzzer claims thatthey only have goodintentions of really eager to introduce the products which they hadamazing experience to others, nothing but sincere only. Therefore, it's （分开写it is）unlikely willcause any spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty.

In conclusion, the buzzer clearlyargued back the reading passage and convincingly shows that they are nothingbut sincerely appreciated the products.

正式的写作中都不用缩写哦，分开就好了（it's）

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-22 22:35

8月22日

Parents shouldhelp children to do their work or encourage children to do their workindependently

Currently, in China, as the one child policygeneration became the mainstay of the society; they started to have family andkid. The typical Chinese family now is four grandparents, two parents, and achild. It seems all the family members are focus on the only kid her/himself.Needless to say how spoiled the child it is. They tend to consider all the possiblethings for their kid, try to do as much as possible for them. However. Is itreally for their best interests? I doubt it. As far as I am concerned, I tendto hold the opposite opinion. My reasons are as follows.

To start with, without doing work independently,the children will never grow up. Without doing work by their own, they willnever learn things in order to develop better life. If parents gives to muchcare to the children, being afraid of the children might get hurt to do thingson their own, the children will just grow into a bigger sized baby, which isonly harmful to the children instead of for their best interests. Take one ofthe old projects as an example; this project was organized by Chinese andJapanese organizations. They invited one group of Chinese children and onegroup of Japanese children to join in a summer camp. They have been observingthose kids, Japanese children were more independent, they could take care ofthemselves and do daily work on their own, such as wash clothes, cook somesimple food. However, the Chinese kids seems lost in this battle, they do notknow how to do daily works, what they know is my parents will do it for me. Howsad is that. Therefore, it is better to let the children doing workindependently, but rather helping them do it all.

Another equally important point is that do theirown work could also help them develop a healthy psychological mind, which meansnot only they tend to become confidence after finished their work, but alsolearn to appreciate things. If children could accomplish work by themselves,they could build up their confidence gradually. Moreover, when they go throughall the hardness of accomplish one work, they will understand that theaccomplishment are not easy, they will cherish more and appreciate what theparents have done for them. Take myself as an example, when I was a student,everyday my mother have to get up early prepare breakfast for us. Aftergraduate and working in another city alone, everyday I have to get up early andprepare food for myself, I realized how exhausting my mother’s work was.Consequently I become more appreciated for what my mother have done for me.

Admittedly, if the children did not finish worksuccessfully on their own, it might impair their confidence, and frustratedtheir heart. However, with the proper instruction of parents, those situationsare likely to be avoidable. Even they did not succeed, parents could also guildthem, which actually good serve as a great lesson for their life, there is noteasy to be accomplished. Moreover, they could learn it from the failure.

Take all into accounts as discussed above, encouragechildren to do work independently not only helping them grow up but alsohelping them to develop better psychological mind. Therefore. Parents shouldlet the children do work on their own.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-23 10:04
标题: TPO 20

To start with, the reading assumes that the fire will cause tremendous damage to the vegetations and make it like a devastated wasteland. On the contrary, the professor claims that the fire actually created opportunities for certain small vegetations that needs more open space and un-shadowed environment. Moreover,some plants' seeds need high heat temprature to generates. Therefore, the fire actually contributes to the diversity of the plants.

Secondly, the reading reasons that the fire will affect park wildlife and cause extinct. However, the professor argues that new vegetation after the fire actually provides ideal habitant for certain small animals like rabbits. Moreover, the predators which eat rabbits can get more opportunities to survive too. Therefore, a new food chain is come into being.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed the fire caused wasteland is incorrect.

作者: kaddish 时间: 2012-8-23 11:53

The reading passage explores the issue of "let it born" policy, and it contends that(缺少主语) will cause serious damage for the vegetation, animals and tourism. However, the professor in the lecture holds opposite opinions, and she argues back by providing three specific reasons to the counterparts which（去掉） brought up by the reading.

Secondly, the reading reasons that the fire will affect park wildlife and cause extinct(extinction). However, the professor argues that new vegetation after the fire actually provides ideal habitant for certain small animals like rabbits. Moreover, the predators which eat rabbits can get more opportunities to survive too. Therefore, a new food chain is come into being. （是加强不是生成）

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed the fire caused wasteland？？ is incorrect.

写的挺好但模板痕迹太重

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-23 14:23
标题: TPO 21

The reading passage explores the issue of whether the genetically modified trees outweigh the natural trees. The professor's lecture deals the same topics. However, she holds opposite opinions contradict to the reading passage's statement.

To begin with, the reading passage claims that the modified tree possess hardier and stronger survival abilities compare with natural trees. However, the professor states that the genetically modified tree has more uniformed genetics, if they died, they all died. Natural trees, on the other hand, possess more diversified genetics; some of the individual trees could manage to survive in the nature poor climates or other hard situations.

Moreover, the reading passage argues that the genetically modified tree bring more economic benefits. On the contrary, the professor casts doubts about it, because the seeds of modified tree need to cost more than natural ones. Besides, according to the law, the seeds produced by farm themselves are not free either. If they want to plant more trees by their old tree’s seeds, they have to pay for it every time and every year.

Finally, the reading passage reasons that the genetically modified trees can prevent overexploitation due to the growing faster abilities. However, the professor states that the genetically modified tree actually caused a great impair to the natural trees as well as the ecological system. Because of the modified trees grow more aggressively than the natural ones. Consequently, they absorb all the nutrition which crowds out the natural trees.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weakness of the reading passages and convincingly shows that the modified trees outweigh the natural ones are incorrect.

作者: winnie98 时间: 2012-8-23 21:25
TPO 20

The reading passage explores the issue of "let it born" policy, and it contends that will cause serious damage for the vegetation, animals and tourism. However, the professor in the lecture holds opposite opinions, and she argues back by providing three specific reasons to the counterparts which brought up by the reading.(红色标注的句子语法不对。若it指代passage,那其后的that从句没有主语,而这也不可能是定从,因为木有先行词；如果it指代policy,那后面就应该改为which will cause···,如果就是想加上it contends,那请在contends that的从句部分加上主语。)

To start with, the reading assumes that the fire will cause tremendous damage to the vegetations and make it like a devastated wasteland. On the contrary, the professor claims that the fire actually created opportunities for certain small vegetations that needs more open space and un-shadowed environment. Moreover,some plants' seeds need high heat temprature to generates. Therefore, the fire actually contributes to the diversity of the plants.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park(Yellowstone Park) due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified(identifies) the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed(shows)the fire caused wasteland is incorrect.前几段professor说话一直都用的一般现在时,到这里还是应该保持一致

整体不错，细节都很到位。
还是注意一下语法问题。但这回的综合比上回改的独立的语法好很多。
加油

作者: winnie98 时间: 2012-8-23 21:26
TPO 20

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park(Yellowstone Park) due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

整体不错，细节都很到位。
还是注意一下语法问题。但这回的综合比上回改的独立的语法好很多。
加油

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-23 22:09
标题: 8月23号独立

8月23日

For future career success,is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

Undoubtedly, related well couldindeed maximally optimized the resources, hence individual student is more readilyto be successful. On the other hand, given that the students’ mainresponsibility and mission are study, emphasizing too much on related well isjust like put the incidental before the fundamental. However, none of those areunconditional. As far as I am concerned, it should depend on the conditions. Myreasons are as follows.

Traditionally, school is a place forstudy; the students should focus on their studies not others. But school alsocould serve differently according to the level of grade, study content. Such asmiddle school and high school, the students are facing more pressure onenrollment of the university. Therefore, it will be absurd if the studentsfocus their attentions on building relationships or networks. Similarly, someuniversities is more focus on the scientific research studies, the students aremore required study well than relate well. Only if students work hard on theirresearch studies, they could get more credits to be successful. In such cases,the students should focus on the studies instead of relative well.

On the other hand, some schools aremore focus on related well side. By that I mean business schools and socialstudy schools. Take MBA School as an example, in the top business school suchas Harvard, Yale, Stanford etc. Their alumnus could be very influential.Therefore, building networks could play a vital role for their success. Somesuccessful businessman’s main motivation for applying for those schools ismerely networks. For them, school is more like a place for them to meet morepeople who share the same interests rather than focus on the hard studythemselves. Therefore, in such cases, related well seems more considerable thanhard study.

Admittedly, no matter what thesituation are, the prerequisite for being success is individual possesses theessential skills. Otherwise it will be like a fully filled car without anyengine; a magnificent building without any foundation. Needless to say, none ofthem are even close to success.

Take all into accounts as discussedabove, study is the prerequisite of the success; related well plays well afterstudents possessed skills. It will be too irrational to jump into the answer ofwhich is more important than other. Therefore, which one is more important isreally depends on the specific times and situations.

作者: stephaniemax 时间: 2012-8-23 23:25
首先道歉！！昨天因为有事情耽误了！这篇定给楼主认真改！

Currently, in China, as the one child policygeneration became the mainstay of the society; they started to have family andkid（？？没打完？）. The typical Chinese family now ~~is （~~are，我认为可以用 be conposed of ) four grandparents, two parents, and achild. It seems all the family members are focus on the only kid ~~her/himself~~（主语是family，不能用反身代词）.Needless to say how spoiled the child it is. They tend to consider all the ~~possible~~（觉得这个词很多余）things for their kid, try to do as much as possible for them. However. Is itreally for ~~their~~ the child's best interests? I doubt it. As far as I am concerned, I tendto hold the opposite opinion. My reasons are as follows.

To start with, without doing the work independently,the children will never grow up. Without doing the work by on their own, they willnever learn things in order to ~~develop better life~~(chase for a better life develop不确定能与life搭配). If the parents gives to too muchcare to the children, being afraid of the children might get hurt to do thingson their own（这个分句的主语是 parents，但主句主语是the children，本句话要整个重新写一下）, the children will just ~~grow into a bigger sized baby~~（still be a baby who is just bigger in size), which(指代的是什么？本句已经很长，建议另开一句话） isonly harmful to the children instead of for their best interests. Take ~~one ofthe~~ an old projects as an example; this project was organized by Chinese andJapanese organizations. They invited one group of Chinese children and one group of Japanese children to join in a summer camp. They have been observingthose kids, Japanese children were more independent, they could take care ofthemselves and do daily work on their own, such as wash clothes, cook somesimple food. However, the Chinese kids seems lost in this battle, they do notknow how to do daily works, what they know is my parents will do it for me. Howsad is that. Therefore, it is better to let the children ~~doing~~do workindependently, but rather ~~helping them do it all~~ do for them (help sb do依旧是sb do的，不能用中文直接翻译帮他们做）.

Another equally important point is that do ~~theirown~~ ~~work~~ （working independently)could also help them develop a healthy psychological mind(develop mind不知道能不能这样搭配我会这样写 can also do good to their psychological health), which meansnot only they tend to become ~~confidence~~confident after ~~finished~~ finishing their work, but alsolearn to appreciate things. If children could accomplish work by themselves,they could build up their confidence gradually. Moreover, when they go throughall the hardness of ~~accomplish~~ one work, they will understand that theaccomplishment ~~are~~ is not easy, they will cherish more and appreciate what theparents have done for them. Take myself as an example, when I was a student,everyday my mother ~~have~~has to get up early and prepare breakfast for us me. After~~graduate~~ graduating and working in another city alone, everyday I have to get up early andprepare food for myself, I realized how exhausting my mother’s work(这样说感觉有点wordy，我会这样写how exhausted my mother had been) was.Consequently I become more ~~appreciated~~（appreciate 主动表感激，become用grateful) for what my mother ~~have~~has done for me.

Admittedly, if the children did not finish worksuccessfully on their own, it might impair their confidence, and ~~frustratedtheir heart.~~（furstrate heart不能这么搭配，改成feel frustrated) However, with the proper instruction of the parents, those situationsare likely to be avoidable. Even if they did not succeed, parents could also guildthem, which（指代什么？） actually good serve as a great lesson for their life, ~~there~~it is noteasy to be accomplished. Moreover, they could learn it from the failure.

~~Take~~Taking all into accounts as discussed above, encouraging children to do work independently not only ~~helping~~helps them grow up but also~~helping~~helps them to develop better psychological mind（be mature）. Therefore. Parents shouldlet the children do work on their own.(1,主语要是名词，不然该句没有主语 2，not only后面是谓语动词的并列，不是分词状语）

总结：楼主的观点和结构还是不错的，但是语言表达上比较中式，建议楼主多练练句子和语法，模仿范文里的句子，我也喜欢自己造句子后来发现有很多chinglish!不如从模仿做起，培养感觉

作者: freddychan 时间: 2012-8-24 17:45
The reading passage explores the issue ofwhether the genetically modified trees outweigh the natural trees. Theprofessor's lecture deals (with) the same topics. However, she holds oppositeopinions contradict to the reading passage's statement.
To begin with, the reading passage claimsthat the modified tree(s) possess hardier andstronger survival abilities (when compared)comparewith natural trees. However, the professor states that the genetically modifiedtree has more uniformed genetics, (so that)if they died, theyall died(这句表达有歧义啊，如果他们死了，他们都死了。。。if onedied, they all died out). Natural trees, on the otherhand, possess more diversified genetics; some of the individual trees couldmanage to survive in the nature poor climates or other hard situations.
Moreover, the reading passage argues thatthe genetically modified tree bring more economic benefits. On the contrary,the professor casts doubts about(可以单独的doubtabout，也可以castdoubt on，但是可以castdoubt about 吗？) it, because the seeds of modified tree need to cost more thannatural ones. Besides, according to the law, the seeds produced by farmthemselves are not free either. If they want to plant more trees by their oldtree’s seeds, they have to pay for it every time and every year.
Finally, the reading passage reasons thatthe genetically modified trees can prevent overexploitation due to the growingfaster abilities. However, the professor states that the genetically modifiedtree actually caused（will cause） a greatimpair to the natural trees as well as the ecological system. Because of（，because） the modified trees grow more aggressivelythan the natural ones. Consequently, they absorb all the nutrition（s） which crowds(crowd) out the natural trees.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identified(identifies) the weakness of the readingpassages and convincingly shows that the modified trees outweigh the naturalones are incorrect.(应该是shows the fact that …is incorrect吧)
写的挺好的，继续加油，注意下时态和句子间的连接就行。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-24 20:44

TPO 22

The reading passage exploresthe issue of whether Ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline. The authoranalyses three specific reasons for disagreement. However, the professor’slecture holds the opposite opinions. And he argues back to the threecounterparts that brought up by the reading passage.

To begin with, the readingpassage claims that the Ethanol will worsen the global warming by producingmore carbon dioxide when it is burned as fuel. On the contrary, the professorstates that it is true Ethanol will release carbon dioxide, but it notnecessarily causes global warming. Moreover, he explained that Ethanol fuelproduced by corn, which is need carbon dioxide when they grow. Consequently, thecarbon dioxide will be deducted when corn is growing. Therefore, there is noextra harm that will contribute to the global warming.

Moreover, the reading passageasserts that the corn originally should be consumed by animals will be used forproduce Ethanol instead, which will cause a food insufficiency for animals andeventually make them disappear. However, the professor argues that the Ethanolwas produced by one component of the plants, which will not be eaten byanimals. Therefore, it won’t reduce any food for animals.

At last, the reading passageclaims that the price of Ethanol has no advantages compared with gasoline. Onthe contrary, the professor states although right now the price of Ethanol isnot competitive to gasoline, and even with the government’s tax subsides. Whenconsumers were more reliable on the Ethanol, the producer of the Ethanol willwilling to updates the technology, eventually the prices will dropdown. If thecurrents needs grow three times bigger, the cost of producing Ethanol willreduce 40%. Needless to say the price will dropdown and therefore Ethanol pricewill become competitive.

In Conclusion, the professorclearly identifies the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly showthe Ethanol makes perfect alternative for gasoline.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-24 23:09

8月24日

Movies andtelevision have more negative effects than positive effects on the way youngpeople behave. Do you A/D?
Nowadays, in order to pursuing high rating and lucrative economy rewards.TV and movies are saturated to violence, pornography, as well as controversy,which are, needless to say, posting a great threat to youth. When it comes tothe question about whether movies and television have more negative effectsthan positive effects on the way young people behave? I could agree more. Myreasons are as followed.

To start with, movies and TV program are saturated with violence andpornography, which are extremely harmful to the youth. It is because childrendo not have the consciousness to distinguish what is good and what is evil.What they can do is if the scene caught their attention, they will imitate it.Quiet likely, they plant a violent seeds in their heart if they saw any impulseviolent scene. A lot of serial killers get their inspirations from the horrormovies. Take one of Japanese killer as an example, he was growing up in a verywealth family, but he has very vulnerable self-esteem. He felt lack ofattentions from his parents due to their busy business schedule. As a result hewas into horror movies. He killed his one of his classmate girl just becauseshe would not accept him as a boyfriend. He cut her into pieces, put her bodyparts into fridge and eaten her. How insane is that!

Moreover, TV stations tend to exaggerate the controversy point in order toget high rating. They would render and manipulate the trues and put a pointthey want the mass to accept. Take an Chinese reality dating show as anexample, one girl named Ma Nuo, when the show host ask her what kind ofboyfriend she is looking for, the audience is shocked by her answer, she said Irather crying in the BMW, not laughing on the bicycle. Apparently, she wants awealthy man. It was caused a massive debate in the China society; her memobecomes a lot of young girls’ recognition. Needless to say, such unhealthyassertion will effect on their love life deeply.

Admittedly, some movies and TV programs are meant to give inspirations tothe audience. James Cameron, who quit his job as a truck driver after he saw amovie called Star War, and set his goal to be a movie director. And we allknow, his great work Titanic and Averter all bring beautiful side of life tous. However, But that was like 30 years ago, as the society censor becomes moreopen and loose, most of the TV programs and movies are simply not suitable forchildren anymore.

Take all into accounts as the discussed above, children’s natural reactionof imitation, uncensored un-healthy scene and showcase dominated the TV programas well as mainstream movies, all make the negative effects on youth’s behaviorpossible.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-25 13:00
Nowadays, in order to pursuing high rating and lucrative economy rewards.TV and movies are saturated to violence, pornography, as well as controversy,which are, needless to say, posting a great threat to youth. When it comes tothe question about whether movies and television have more negative effectsthan positive effects on the way young people behave? I could agree more. Myreasons are as followed.

To start with, movies and TV program are saturated with violence andpornography, which are extremely harmful to the youth. It is because childrendo not have the consciousness to distinguish what is good and what is evil.What they can do is if the scene caught their attention, they will imitate it.Quiet likely, they plant a violent seeds in their heart if they saw any impulseviolent scene. A lot of serial killers get their inspirations from the horrormovies. Take one of Japanese killer as an example, he was growing up in a verywealth family, but he has very vulnerable self-esteem. He felt lack ofattentions from his parents due to their busy business schedule. As a result hewas into horror movies. He killed his one of his classmate girl just becauseshe would not/ did not accept him as a boyfriend. He cut her into pieces, put her bodyparts into fridge and eaten her. How insane is that!

感觉lz例子稍微简化下就好了，有点像小故事了。
Moreover, TV stations tend to exaggerate the controversy/controversial point in order toget high rating. They would render and manipulate the trues and put a pointthey want the mass to accept. Take an Chinese reality dating show as anexample, one girl named Ma Nuo, when the show host ask her what kind ofboyfriend she is looking for, the audience is shocked by her answer, she said Irather crying in the BMW, not laughing on the bicycle. Apparently, she wants awealthy man. It ~~was~~ caused a massive debate in the China society; her memo becomes a lot of young girls’ recognition. Needless to say, such unhealthy assertion will effect on/affect their love life deeply.

Admittedly, some movies and TV programs are meant to give inspirations tothe audience. James Cameron, who quit his job as a truck driver after he saw amovie called Star War, and set his goal to be a movie director. And we allknow, his great work Titanic and Averter all bring beautiful side of life tous. However, But that was like 30 years ago, as the society censor becomes moreopen and loose, most of the TV programs and movies are simply not suitable forchildren anymore.

Take all into accounts as the discussed above感觉这句很罗嗦，有点怪。楼主再斟酌下吧？, children’s natural reactionof imitation, uncensored un-healthy scene and showcase dominated the TV programas well as mainstream movies, all make the negative effects on youth’s behaviorpossible.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-25 13:41

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Nowadays, in order to pursuing high rating and lucrative economy rewards.（这里用, in order to ）TV and movies are saturated to violence, pornography, as well as controversy,which are, needless to say, posting a great threat to youth. When it comes to the question about whether movies and television have more negative effectsthan positive effects on the way young people behave? （这里是从句，还要用问号么？）I could(这里应该是否定吧？) agree more. My reasons are as followed.

To start with, movies and TV program are saturated with violence and pornography, which are extremely harmful to the youth. It is because children do not have the consciousness to distinguish what is good and what is evil.What they can do is if the scene caught（catch 用grasp是不是好点？） their attention, they will imitate it. Quiet likely, they plant a violent seeds in their heart if they saw any impulse violent scene. A lot of serial killers get their inspirations from the horror movies. Take one of Japanese killer as an example, he was growing up in a very wealth（wealthy） family, but he has very （a）vulnerable self-esteem. He felt lack of attentions from his parents due to their busy business schedule. As a result he was into horror movies. He killed his one of his classmate girl just because she would not accept him as a boyfriend. He cut her into pieces, put her body parts into fridge and eaten her. How insane is that! （着恐怖的东西我看了都怕）

Moreover, TV stations tend to exaggerate the controversy point in order to get high rating（这里不知何意，不如写成吸引更多人关注）. They would render and manipulate the trues and put a point they want the mass to accept. Take an Chinese reality dating show as an example, one girl named Ma Nuo, when the show host ask her what kind of boyfriend she is looking for, the audience is shocked by her answer, she said Irather crying in the BMW （with wealthy parter even he does not love her）, not laughing on the bicycle(with a poor boyfriend with true love) 要不然很难被rater理解额. Apparently, she wants awealthy man. It was caused a massive debate in the China society; her memo becomes a lot of young girls’ recognition. Needless to say, such unhealthy assertion will effect on their love life deeply.

Admittedly, some movies and TV programs are meant to give inspirations to the audience. James Cameron, who quit his job as a truck driver after he saw amovie called Star War, and set his goal to be a movie director. And we all know, his great work Titanic and Averter all bring beautiful side of life tous. However, But that was like 30 years ago, as the society censor becomes more open and loose, most of the TV programs and movies are simply not suitable for children anymore.

Take all into accounts as the discussed（discussion） above, children’s natural reaction of imitation, uncensored un-healthy scene and showcase dominated the TV program as well as mainstream movies, all make the negative effects on youth’s behavior possible.

整体构架是不错，小处注意就好了

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-25 23:15
标题: TPO23

The reading passage discusses the possible reasons for the yellow cedar decline issues. And the author lists three specific possibilities to support his or her claim. However, the professor does not agree with the assertions which bring up by the reading passage, and he argues back the counterparts accordingly.

To start with, the reading assumes one of the possibilities of the yellow cedar declination is insect parasites' harm. On the contrary, the professor states that healthy yellow cedar contains a powerful toxic chemical elements which resistant to the insects and cause insect dead. Therefore, the insect parasites are not the fundamental reason of the declination.

Secondly, the reading passages reasons that the brown bears might be cause. However, the professor evidences that all the continental and islands are suffered the declination, given that brown bear only live in the continental but not the islands. Therefore, brown bear is unlikely the reason for yellow cedar drastically drop.

At last, the reading states that the changes of climate might be the possibility, given the global warming, the yellow cedar tends to grow in the late winter instead of early spring anymore, consequently, the frozen root damage cause the declination. However, the professor argues back by citing the facts that declination is more severe in the warming regions than the cold regions. Therefore, the climate changes explaination is untenable.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-26 09:52

TPO 22

The reading passage exploresthe issue of whether Ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline. The author analyses three specific reasons for disagreement. However, the professor’s lecture holds the opposite opinions. And he argues back to the three counterparts that brought up by the reading passage.

To begin with, the readingpassage claims that the Ethanol will worsen the global warming by producingmore carbon dioxide when it is burned as fuel. On the contrary, the professorstates that it is true Ethanol will release carbon dioxide, but it notnecessarily causes global warming. Moreover, he explained that Ethanol fuelproduced by corn, which is need carbon dioxide when they grow. Consequently, thecarbon dioxide will be deducted when corn is growing. Therefore, ~~there is~~ no extra harm ~~that~~ will contribute to the global warming.

Moreover, the reading passage asserts that the corn originally should be consumed by animals will be used for produce producingEthanol instead, which will cause a food insufficiency for animals andeventually make them disappear. However, the professor argues that the Ethanolwas produced by one component of the plants, which will not be eaten byanimals. Therefore, it won’t reduce any food for animals.

At last, the reading passageclaims that the price of Ethanol has no advantages compared with gasoline. Onthe contrary, the professor states although right now the price of Ethanol isnot competitive to gasoline, and even with the government’s tax subsides. When consumers were more reliable on the Ethanol, the producer of the Ethanol will be willing to updates the technology, eventually the prices will dropdown. If the currents needs grow three times bigger, the cost of producing Ethanol will reduce 40%. Needless to say the price will dropdown and therefore Ethanol pricewill become competitive.

In Conclusion conclusion, the professorclearly identifies the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly shows the/ that Ethanol makes perfect alternative for gasoline.

点都找到了，就是有些小小的语法问题，但是不影响理解=）

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-26 11:24
标题: TPO 24

To start with, the reading passage assumes the remains that found in the channels are blood vessels. On the contrary, the professor states that the remains is not necessarily from T rex. And he suggests it might be just some bacteria that using the channels as a residential area, and leaves trace in it as we saw today as the soft moisture tissues.

Secondly, the reading asserts that the remains could be the blood red cells. However, the professor argues that the T rex may not have any red blood cells. It might be just some radishes minerals. Therefore, the reading passages’ statement is untenable.

At last, the reading passage reasons that the remains might be collagen matrix. On the contrary, the professor argues back by citing the evidence that collagen usually do not live more than 100,000 years. Apparently, the 7 million years T rex is not possible to leave any collagen. And the professor suggests it might be the source of others, such as the skin of the researchers when they pass the fossils.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentifies the weakness of the reading and convincingly shows the remains in fossils is not necessarily from the T rex .

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