ChaseDream

标题: T不死的作文贴,欢迎拍砖! [打印本页]

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-3 02:41
标题: T不死的作文贴,欢迎拍砖!
T 不死开始写作文啦! 欢迎各位筒子们拍砖,修改。在杀T的路上,一起奋斗,一起加油
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-3 02:41
题目:6月28日(TPO13)  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to solve the problem of the present and the future, people should review the past

"In our life, we will encounter different kinds of problems. No one's life is always running smoothly; no one's life does not experience strife and conflict; and no one's life does not endure the period when he or she feels confused and frustrated. What will you do when you face these troublesome problems? There are different suitable methods to handle these troubles. Maybe you can ask your friend to give you an advice; you can also consult the teacher, parents or professional experts in the areas; or you can just try to solve the problem according to the sense of your perspective. Whatever method you try, I want to remind you that do not forget the method to review the past. Reviewing the past will give your numerous benefits.
A problem will always make one feel frustrated and worrisome. When your encounter the problem, I recommend you to Retrieve your memory in your brain and select a similar problem you endure at some time in your life. Believe it or not, people will be more efficient when they handle the similar problems. It is easy to recall the circumstance when your encounter a difficult problem in your last exam. If you do the same practice in your last assignment, you will be more confident to work out the test.
Reviewing the past will make one become more mature. As a person grows up, he will encounter large number of problem. If he is mindful enough, he will learn abundantly from experience, which is helpful to solve a new problem. Even facing a total new problem, he will make himself calm down, integrate the lesson that he has learned from past experience, and then find out a suitable method to solve the brand new problem. SO treat your precious experience more careful, do not just ignore it as a obsolete stuff. After all we can accumulate the valuable lesson from it.
Maybe you will say that reviewing the past will hamper our creativity to solve the problem. Admittedly, one who abides by the stereotype experience is lifeless while he is alive. A stereotype man's life is dull and spiritless. However learning and reviewing the past will also spark the creative and genius idea, which can make a person more thoughtful and deliberate. To retrieve the information in your memory and combine them together to generate a creative idea will also save lots of time. In the sense, so we can say that reviewing the past frequently will make one's life full of vigor and vitality.
To sum up, when you encounter a problem, whether it is a normal one or a brand new one, I suggest you to retrieve your memory and then find out an appropriate method to fix it before you ask a help from other persons. If you form a habit to summary the past frequently, you will benefit the best.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-3 02:42
题目:6月30日(TPO15)  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of friends

With the urbanization development in China and the globalization in the world, today it is very common to  
see that some of your friends lived in the same surroundings with you will have to leave you and go to  
another city or country. Some persons may feel frustrated and sorrowful and sometimes they may even sob  
and weep when they know that they will have to leave their intimate friends. As for me, however, I feel  
more positive to that circumstance. Even more, AS a youth, I am anxious to leave my hometown and stay in  
another city. You might call it unfeeling, but that was the way I felt. The reason why I feel in that way  
is as following:
Thanks to the modern transportation, well build internet and telephone net, and well organized society,  
Nowadays, we can communicate each other more conveniently compared to the times when the only method to  
Communicate information with each other is via writing letters. After I graduated from university, I found a job in  
another city which is far from my hometown where most of my old friends stay. After I settled down in the  
new city, I found that the connection between my old friends and me become more stronger. They will ask me  
numerous questions, such as what kind of life in the city is or how the local people behave. We talk via  
QQ, a tool of online chatting and we call each other more frequently than when we are in the same city.  
When I want to see my friends or when my friends want to see me, I will invite them to visit my new city,  
and take them to have a sightseeing. We can meet each other easily because of the high speed train  
operation in China.
Moreover, I will never feel alone when I stay in a new city. I can join into the local life very quickly,  
learning the local language and behaving the same way as the native people. At the very beginning of the  
life when I come to a new city, I will have more time to make myself came down and think about the life in  
the future, and it is not easy to do this when my surrounding are full of talktive friends. After I am  
familiar with the new city, I can make new friend in the city, sharing their opinion about life and  
exchange idea about various cultures. In the new city, I can dive myself into the unique culture and enjoy  
the special local cuisine. I can learn more and experience more in a new city when I am young.

Admittedly, in a new city which is far from my hometown, the opportunities  to have the face to face talking  
with my old friends are less than when I stay in my hometown. However, with the help of various tool for  
communication, the distance will not hamper and hurt our relationship. Considering that we can make a new  
friends in a new city and enjoy a different way of life, I would like to stay in a new city when I am  
young.

To sum up, moving to a new city is not always a bad thing for me. As a youth, I would like to experience  
more and learn more about different life and cultures. After all, we are not bound to live in a  
stereotype type of life, and we can try to live in new lifestyle which will help to broaden our vision of life.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-3 02:43
题目 7月1日(TPO16) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Rather than help their children do schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do work independently.

Have you ever face a pile of schoolwork? Have you ever encounter a difficulty problem in your assignment? Or have you ever experience the circumstance that you have to stay up to finish the schoolwork. When you have faced these conditions what you will do, to ask a help from your parents or to handle them by yourself? In my view of point, I will choose the latter one. It is a good habit to do one's schoolwork independently, and one will benefit a lot from forming the habit.
Under the social and economic stress, fathers and even mothers have to engage themselves in the business, and the day when most of mothers stayed at home to treat their children will not come back again. After a tired day of working, parents will feel tired. To keep a physical vigor and vitality, many parents will choose to do excises in the gym house, or they may just make themselves fall asleep early to reserve the energy for the next day. When you put yourself in your parents place, you will recognize that it is better to finish the schoolwork by yourself rather than ask for a help from your parents.
Moreover, doing schoolwork independently can enhance one's ability to handle different problems, exploring more deeply to the knowledge and cultivating a sense of self-study which will be more important as one grows up. It is not so hard to recall the circumstance that last time when you feel confused with the tough question, you think and explore hard, and finally you work out it. How joyful it is to conclude the puzzle by yourself. The most important is that you will never forget the method and process to conquer the complicated question. Doing one's schoolwork independently is helpful to build up one's confidence, thus enhancing the ability to handle other difficulty problems.
Relying on the parents to do the schoolwork may hamper and hurt one's creativity and imagination. When one faces some problem, he just calls for help from the parents without trying to explore the question more thoroughly. If one forms this habit, what will happen in the latter test or the future study when the parents are no longer able to help him or her. Obviously, he will lose the sense to handle new question independently, and he cannot surpass his parents' intellectual level. So it is not a wise way to rely your schoolwork on your parents. After all we will encounter different problems which are beyond our parents’ ability to handle in the future.
From what has discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that it is better to do your schoolwork independently, which is helpful for our parents to save lots of time to reserve their energy. The most important is that it will enhance our sense of creativity and imagination, thus helping to build up our confidences.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-3 04:14
题目:7月3日(TPO18)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave

After a busy day of study, what you will do when you arrive home. Some students will choose to turn on computers and play games or they will continue to study online, while most of students will choose to watch TV. With the fierce competition of TV operators, nowadays the Tv SET has more and more channels for people to choose. You name the theme, and you will find it out among the various programs. It is so popular to watch TV and the Tv set is so attractive that we had to consider the effect it will bring on our younger. Just as the saying goes "every coin has too sights". When we enjoy the joyful and fun time that the TV has given to us, we should also appraise their disadvantages. After I compared the positive effects with the negative ones, I can say it more safely that the programs or movies on TV will do more harm to the children's behave.
To earn a big profit in making the the movies, the film producer will choose the violation or pornography theme in their product which will be more attractive among the people who want to excite their nerve. This is why the action films are full of our screen. However, we know that the younger people do not get the sense to distinguish the good from bad stuff. They are born to be good actors, and after they see the action in the movies, they will imitate it in the reality, which will cause bad effects on their hearts if we do not guide them appropriately. In the 1990s in china, the cinemas were full of movies which perform the violation themes. The crime rate was also high at that time. A survey about the youth crime rate indicates that the crime rate in younger has highly positive correlation with the violation film number.
On the other hand, TV with the romantic and ideal themes will make the children to believe that they live in a paradise. When the reality contradicts what they have imagine in their thought which is influenced by the ideal themes in movies, they will try to escape reality and hide themselves in the cherish illusions. As they grow up, they will have to pay more time to rebuild the reality world in their hearts and they will have to experience more frustrated and depression. Maybe we can conclude that too much TV times will make Tom a dull boy.
Even worse than that, TV hours will rob the valuable studying time from children. For a younger person, the most important thing to do is to manage their time to learn more things or build up an interest in certain field. Spending lots of time on TV means that they have to sacrifice their time in study. Admittedly, movies or television can bring information which has not been filtered to the children. However, we can get more nutritional knowledge from reading books or listening more lectures.
To sum up, watching TV not only will bring more negative effect on the youth, but also it is a waste of time. To help younger people grow in a more harmonious atmosphere, it is better to encourage the children to reading more books than watching more movies.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-4 00:34
题目:7月4日(TPO19)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past people eat more healthy food than what people have nowadays

Thanks to the modernization of agriculture and industry, humankind has made a big progress in the food supply. Taking china for example, it has generally solved the problem of hunger and exposure and the people live more rich lives than ever before.  However we still have to face a big problem, the increasing food unsafe issue. We have taken many measures to prevent and eliminate the problem, but none of them take a great effect.
With the modernization of agriculture, while we double the output of rice per acre, we also have to bear the loss of the nutrition in food. White rice is the world's most popular form of rice. In modern milling process, many nutrition elements in the rice may be removed. As a result, people who eat a poor diet based on white rice may not get enough Vitamins A. The World Health Organization once did a survey about the while rice, it found out that Vitamins A deficiency is a big problem,  especially in Asia and Africa. Halt of the children with the problem will die with one year of losing their sights.
There are many other factors that will influence the food safety. To increase the output of vegetable and fruit, many chemical fertilizer and additive have been brought to the modern farm. The producer only care about how to maximize their profit in growing and processing the food. To meet their aim, they will use more agricultural chemicals to make the vegetable grow well, and they will also adopt the chemical additive to keep the food look fresh and get a nice taste. While they doing this, the chemical contamination which will cause human sick and disease will remain in the vegetable or fruit. When people eat it, they will get sick.
Admittedly, food safety commission has paid more attention to food safety than ever before. They adopt various strategies to guarantee the food safety. They will lay down strict rules for the manufacturer to follow; they will install the monitor cameras in the factories to improve the food security. or they will routine or temporarily test and scan the quality of food in the supermarket. However, one of the big problems when people get sick from food is that what did the people eat that make them sick. Even more, most of the tasks carried out by government or health care organization only receive limited effect compared to more and more intense food unsafe situation we face.
From what has discussed above, we can safely conclude that now the food we eat are becoming unhealthier than before. There will be a long way for humankind to completely solve the issue of food safety.
作者: 包子不包子    时间: 2012-7-4 07:52
7月3日(TPO18)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave

After a busy day of study, what you will do when you arrive home. Some students will choose to turn on computers and play games or they will continue to study online, while most of students will choose to watch TV. With the fierce competition of TV operators, nowadays the Tv SET has more and more channels for people to choose. You name the theme, and you will find it out among the various programs. It is so popular to watch TV and the Tv set is so attractive that we had to consider the effect it will bring on our younger. Just as the saying goes "every coin has too sights". When we enjoy the joyful and fun time that the TV has given to us, we should also appraise their disadvantages. After I compared the positive effects with the negative ones, I can say it more safely that the programs or movies on TV will do more harm to the children's behave.题目给的是the young但是这段T写的是students和children包子也不知道准确来说可以不 不过开头还是很好哒

To earn a big profit in making the the movies, the film producers will choose the violation or pornography theme in their product which will be more attractive among the people who want to excite their nerve. This is why the action films are full of our screen. However, we know that the younger people do not get the sense to distinguish the good from bad stuff. They are born to be good actors, and after they see the action in the movies, they will imitate it in the reality, which will cause bad effects on their hearts感觉像心脏病的意思哈their pure heart can be contamonate if we do not guide them appropriately. In the 1990s in china, the cinemas were full of movies which perform the violation themes. The crime rate was also high at that time. A survey about the youth crime rate indicates that the crime rate in younger has highly positive correlation with the violation film number. survey举例很好啊

On the other hand, TV with the romantic and ideal themes will make the children to believe that they live in a paradise. When the reality contradicts what they have imagine in their thought which is influenced by the ideal themes in movies, they will try to escape reality and hide themselves in the cherish illusions. As they grow up, they will have to pay more time换成被动更地道些~ to rebuild the reality world in their hearts and they will have to experience more frustrated and depression. Maybe we can conclude that too much TV times will make Tom a dull boy.这个TS蛮特别 包子想不到...

Even worse than that, TV hours will rob the valuable studying time from children. For a younger person, the most important thing to do is to manage their time to learn more things or build up an interest in certain field. Spending lots of time on TV means that they have to sacrifice their time in study. Admittedly, movies or television can bring information which has not been filtered to the children. However, we can get more nutritional knowledge from reading books or listening more lectures.让步可以重起一段 显得逻辑更严密 论述更准确

To sum up, watching TV not only will bring more negative effect on the youth, but also it is a waste of time. To help younger people grow in a more harmonious atmosphere, it is better to encourage the children to reading more books than watching more movies.

观点很好很好 可以只写两个观点 最后一段让步论述
表达的时候还是有些中式英语啊 注意哦
其他都蛮好~
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-5 04:33
谢谢包子同学的意见和修改
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-5 04:34
题目7月5日(TPO20)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High school students should take a course on basic economics.

Our lives fill with various economic issues. When you go to bookstore to buy a book, you are connected to the economic; when you resister your new semester and pay your tuition, you will involve in it; when you open a new account in the bank to deposit your money, you are engaging the economic transaction. we can safely say that economics will happen in our daily life and  we will accompany with it for the whole life. It is so popular that we should pay more attention to it. Even among high students, I support the idea that the high school had better add a basic economics in the curriculum. The sub-points to support my point are as following:

To begin with, the high school students should learn to judge and manage the economic issues that happened on their daily lives. Nowadays in china, most of the families will give their children a weekly or monthly allowance. SO children will gain the responsibility in handling money. In this case, if the children are blindness to the basic economics, they will not be able to manage the money well, and they do know how to maximize use of the money. On the contrary, if a student understands the basic economic knowledge, he will know the market principle well, and he will know the different definitions between price and cost. When they buy a computer, they will compare the price provided by different vendor, and basing on their basic knowledge, they will finally choose the high cost performance one.

In modern high speed economic development age, a high school student who possesses the sense of economics accommodates himself to the society better than others. We endure a period of economic inflation and the high soaring house cost, we should care more about the economic and know how the economic runs like that way. When the high school student graduates from school, they will face these economic issues. If they know the basic principle of the economic operation, they will solve their trouble more efficiency, and they will have more opportunities to live a better life. Most of all, they are more likely to make a economic plan for their future, such as whether to take a post-graduate degree or whether to join the job, When to buy a house; how much they should save each month for buying an IPHONE at the end the year.

Admittedly, the first and foremost task for a student in high school is to learn the core curricula and get a high GPA, which will decide the admission of pursuing a college degree. However, the basic economics subject will not take up much time in the study. Even more, the new subject will inspire the students to know more knowledge about the economic society, which will encourage them to study hard in their core curricula. So the basic economics should be a critical component of the high school curriculum.

From what we have discussed above, I can safely say that a basic economic subject will benefit more to the high school students. Not only does it help the students to manage and maximize use of the money, but also boarder their economic vision and encourage them to study hard on the core curricula.
作者: chenglu9066    时间: 2012-7-5 18:36
标题: to T不死 七月4号 独立作文修改
红色为修改部分,高亮为精彩部分

Thanks to the modernization of agriculture and industry, humankind has made a big progress in the food supply. Taking china for example, it has generally solved the problem of hunger and exposure and the people live more rich lives than ever before.  However we still have to face a big problem, the increasing food unsafe issue.(是想说 食品安全问题吧? 我查了一下:food safety problem) We have taken many measures to prevent and eliminate the problem, but none of them take a great effect.


  With the modernization of agriculture, while we double the output of rice per acre, we also have to bear the loss of the nutrition in food. White rice is the world's most popular form of rice. In modern milling process, many nutrition elements in the rice may be removed. As a result, people who eat a poor diet based on white rice may not get enough Vitamins A. The World Health Organization once did a survey about the while rice, it found out that Vitamins A deficiency is a big problem,  especially in Asia and Africa. Halt of the children with the problem will die with one year of losing their sights.(不通顺,die with one year 这个短语有点不知所云哈,还有从逻辑上讲,死于失明,有点说不通)

There are many other factors that will influence the food safety. To increase the output of vegetable and fruit, many chemical fertilizer and additive have been brought to the modern farm. The producer only care about how to maximize their profit in growing and processing the food. To meet their aim, they will use more agricultural chemicals to make the vegetable grow well, and they will also adopt the chemical additive to keep the food look fresh and get a nice taste. While they doing this, the chemical contamination which will (建议删去,因为后面有个will,而且删去后,现在时表示一种客观事实,会具有说服力些)cause human sick and disease will remain in the vegetable or fruit. When people eat it, they will get sick.

Admittedly, food safety commission has paid more attention to food safety than ever before. They adopt various strategies to guarantee the food safety. They will lay down strict rules for the manufacturer to follow; they will install the monitor cameras in the factories to improve the food security. or they will routine or temporarily test and scan the quality of food in the supermarket. However, one of the big problems when people get sick from food is that what did the people eat that make them sick. (亲,这句话,我是真心有点晕,get sick from food? 虾米意思? 还有陈述语气中,应该为what people eat)Even more, most of the tasks carried out by government or health care organization only receive limited effect compared to (与···比较 compare with )more and more intense food unsafe(食品安全问题,修改同上) situation we face.
From what has discussed above, we can safely conclude that now the food we eat are becoming unhealthier than before. There will be a long way for humankind to completely solve the issue of food safety


文章总体流畅数据例子翔实,值得学习哈~!
可是,这篇文章强调了食品安全问题,最好再紧接着说,食品安全问题会造成人们吃的食物不健康。
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-6 18:30
好滴,谢谢chenglu, 我再好好看下
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-7 05:25
题目7月6日Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?
Just as the saying goes "leaning as long as one lives", in modern society, you will have more opportunities to learn something based on your interest. With the rapid development of human society, the people today have more time and disposable income to spend on education. So I total agree with the statement that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.

To begin with, thanks to the on-line education, people who live far away the education centers can get education more convenient. They can just stay at their houses, turn on the computer, and connect to the on-line education where they will get well educated based on their interest. To improve the personal quality of citizens, government and education department also invest large amount of money to build the on-line education system, thus improving the diversity of on education which make people more willing to learn on-line. It is so diversity that whenever you name it, you can check out it.

Compared with the people in the past, now the people possess more time and disposable income to spend on education. Constrained by the poor economy condition, the people in the past had to work hard all-day in the farms or factories to make a living, leading to the high rate of illiteracy. Today, the modern industry and agriculture have employed more machines instead of manpower, and people nowadays can have more time and money to dispose. To recharge or refresh their knowledge, people will participate in various formal or informal educations which are suitable to them. In this way, they will improve their life quality and the work efficiency, thus creating a loop.

Admittedly, in the old days, there are more traditional customs and traditional cultures a person should learn. Even more people in the past should begin to learn these traditions when they are still children. But this type of education is very stereotype, and it will certainly block a person's future creativity of education. Compared to modern education system, the old one is lifeless.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely conclude that the people nowadays will have more opportunity to access to education, which is decided by many factors, such as more disposable time and income, the availability of on-line education and the support of government.
作者: kchszy061ban    时间: 2012-7-7 13:43
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误



Just as the saying goes "learning as long as one lives", in modern society, you will have more opportunities to learn something based on your interest. With the rapid development of human society, the people today have more time and disposable income to spend on education. So I totally agree with the statement that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.

To begin with, thanks to
the on-line education, people who live far away the education centers can get education more conveniently. They can just stay at their houses建议用(home, turn on the computer, and connect to the on-line education where they will get well educated based on their interest. To improve the personal quality of citizens, government and education department also invest large amount of money to build the on-line education system, thus improving the diversity of on education which make people more willing to learn on-line. It is so diversity that whenever you name it, you can check out it.

Compared with
the people in the past, now the people possess more time and disposable income to spend on education. Constrained by the poor economy condition, the people in the past had to work hard all-day in the farms or factories to make a living, leading to the high rate of illiteracy(这个什么意思呢?). Today, the modern industry and agriculture have employed more machines instead of manpower, and people nowadays can have more time and money to dispose. To recharge or refresh their knowledge, people will participate in various formal or informal educations which are suitable to them. In this way, they will improve their life quality and the work efficiency, thus creating a loop.

Admittedly,
in the old days, there are more traditional customs and traditional cultures a person should learn. Even more people in the past should begin to learn these traditions when they are still children. But this type of education is very stereotype, and it will certainly block a person's future creativity of education. Compared to modern education system, the old one is lifeless.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely conclude that the people nowadays will have more opportunity to access to education, which is decided by many factors, such as more disposable time and income, the availability of on-line education and the support of government.



逻辑分段很好,只是段落内容有一点欠缺。The用的好多额。然后,最后一段是要总结的。倒数第二段全部反驳的也不是很有力,题目是获得教育,教育的内容貌似是有点次要的说。个人意见。

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-7 20:08
谢谢 KCH
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-8 00:33
7月7日 独立 it is more important to choose friends that have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them

Just as the saying goes "a friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out", with friendship, life is happy and harmonious. Without friendship, life is sad and unfortunate. I have a wide range of friends. Some of them often bring the joys to me, while others offer advices and help me out of difficulties. In my point of view, true friends share not only joys but also our sorrows. When it come to the topic that which type of friends is more important to choose, I would like to say that it depends.
To begin with, when I face the tiresome task and have the blue mood, I would like to talk to my friends who can make me happy until I cannot stop. We feel we are happy when we chat and exchange ideas with one another. After a happy chat, I will improve my study and work efficiency. I will never forget the experience that happened during my high school. I was very stressed because the college entrance exam was coming soon. And my parents expect me to gain a high score in the exam, so as to enter into top college in China. In those days, my temper was getting bad and my study was a mess. I did not know how to deal with it. At the right time, one of my best friends came to me and said "Hi, Allen, why you look unhappy". I told him my circumstance. "why not join us to chat together, we will lift you up". Then I joined in their team, and share their joyful story. We chatted from 9 pm until midnight, the topic including the entertainment news, sports and the joke happened among us. When it came to the funny topic, we kept on laughing. During the loudly laugh, my dark mood fade away. Suddenly the world seemed bright and full to me. And I also struggled from the hard time and possessed a spiritual mind to prepare the exam. From that experience, a friend with fun is benefit to me.
On the other hand, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". As life is full of strife and conflict, we need friends to support and help us out of difficulty. The friends in need will give us valuable warnings against danger. And they will also offer advice with regard to how to deal with various situations. For most of the people, maybe parents are their best friends. Taking my mother as an example, she is always there to help me. I am encouraged not only by her words but also by her action. When I feel frustrated and sad, she will listen to my complaints, and then give me an advice to solve the problem. When I was at primary school, she was waked up early to prepare breakfast for me. After I came back from school, she would help me do the schoolwork first, and then she stayed up to do her housework. She continued to do so for six years until I entered into high school. I will remember my mother's devoting love forever.
To sum up, in our life, we will need a wide range of friend, not only the friends that have fun with, but also friends that will help us when we need them. In different circumstance, we need different types of friend. Only by this way, a person will enjoy more complete and happy life.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-8 03:34
7月7日 综合 TPO 22
The lecture discussed that ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline, which differs from the main idea in the reading that ethanol is not a good replacement for gasoline. The speaker said that the points made in the reading materials is not convincing.
To begin with, the lecture point out that although the ethanol would release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere when it is burned, the plant used to produced ethanol would counteract the global warming, because the plant would remove the carbon dioxide in during its growing. On the contrary, the reading materials stated that the ethanol fuel would not help to solve the global warming, which is different from the statement in the lecture.
Furthermore, the lecture refuted the viewpoint showed in the passage by saying that by saying that large production of ethanol would not reduce the resource of food for animals. The reason is that people can use the cellulous to produce ethanol, and the animals would not eat the cellulous. So the resource animal eaten would not be reduced. In contrast, the reading showed that when the plant was used to produce ethanol, the resource for animal to eat would be reduced.
Finally, the speaker said that in the future, the price for ethanol would be more competitive. If more people was choosing ethanol as a fuel, the cost for producing the ethanol would be reduced, which would lead to the drop of ethanol price. On the other hand, the writer believed that the ethanol price could not be able to complete with gasoline because the government gives subsidies to the companies which produce the ethanol. In this point, the ideas between lecture and listening are contradictory.
To sum up, the point in the listening has a positive opinion on the use of ethanol, which is contradictory with the statement in the passage.
作者: DanielleZ    时间: 2012-7-8 19:14
Dear T不死同志,嘿嘿~
首先允许我膜拜一下,你极好的名言引用~太牛了~
但是我觉得呢~中间两段讲例子的时候,感觉比较松散,而且句式比较简单。I开头以及she开头的句子比较多。我用蓝色简单标了一下。我建议你可以加些定语从句神马的~文章会更加紧凑的~
另外啊,我有个小问题,你跟我说要多读好文,你有没有什么可以推荐一下啊?谢啦~
加油~
Just as thesaying goes "a friendwalks in when the rest of the world walks out", with friendship,life is happy and harmonious. Without friendship, life is sad and unfortunate.I have a wide range of friends. Some of them often bring the joys to me, whileothers offer advices and help me out of difficulties. In my point of view, true friends share not onlyjoys but also our sorrows. When it come to the topic that which type offriends is more important to choose, I would like to say that it depends.


To begin with,when I face the tiresome task and have the blue mood, I would like to talk tomy friends who can make me happyuntil I cannot stop(怎么理解啊?).We feel we are happy when we chat and exchange ideas with oneanother. After a happy chat, I will improve my study and work efficiency. Iwill never forget the experience that happened during my high school. Iwas very stressed because the college entrance exam was coming soon. And myparents expect me to gain a high score in the exam, so as to enter into topcollege in China.In those days, my temper was getting bad and my study was a mess.
Idid not know how to deal with it. At the right time, one of my best friendscame to me and said "Hi, Allen, why you look unhappy". Itold him my circumstance. "why not join us to chat together, we will liftyou up". Then I joined in their team, and share their joyfulstory. We chatted from 9 pm until midnight, the topic including theentertainment news, sports and the joke happened among us. When it came to thefunny topic, we kept on laughing. During the loudly laugh, my dark mood fade away.Suddenly the world seemed bright and full to me. And I also struggled from thehard time and possessed a spiritual mind to prepare the exam. From thatexperience, a friend with fun is benefit to me.

On the otherhand, "A friend inneed is a friend indeed". As life is full of strife and conflict, weneed friends to support and help us out of difficulty. The friends in need willgive us valuable warnings against danger. And they will also offer advice withregard to how to deal with various situations. For most of the people, maybeparents are their best friends. Taking my mother as an example, she is alwaysthere to help me. I am encouraged not only by her words but alsoby her actions. When I feel frustrated and sad, shewill listen to my complaints, and then give me an advice to solve the problem.When I was at primary school, shewas waked up early to prepare breakfast for me. After I came back from school, shewould help me do the schoolwork first, and then she stayedup to do her housework. She continued to do so for six years until Ientered into high school. I will remember my mother's devoting love forever.


To sum up, inour life, we will need a wide range of friend, not only the friends that havefun with, but also friends that will help us when we need them. In differentcircumstances, we need different types of friend. Only bythis way, a person will enjoy more complete and happy(happier) life.
作者: tyyhappy    时间: 2012-7-8 23:37
sorry,阿T,我7号的综合还没做,等我明儿做了再给你改行不?
作者: tyyhappy    时间: 2012-7-8 23:38
Dear T不死同志,嘿嘿~
首先允许我膜拜一下,你极好的名言引用~太牛了~
但是我觉得呢~中间两段讲例子的时候,感觉比较松散,而且句式比较简单。I开头以及she开头的句子比较多。我用蓝色简单标了一下。我建议你可以加些定语从句神马的~文章会更加紧凑的~
另外啊,我有个小问题,你跟我说要多读好文,你有没有什么可以推荐一下啊?谢啦~
加油~
Just as thesaying goes "a friendwalks in when the rest of the world walks out", with friendship,life is happy and harmonious. Without friendship, life is sad and unfortunate.I have a wide range of friends. Some of them often bring the joys to me, whileothers offer advices and help me out of difficulties. In my point of view, true friends share not onlyjoys but also our sorrows. When it come to the topic that which type offriends is more important to choose, I would like to say that it depends.


To begin with,when I face the tiresome task and have the blue mood, I would like to talk tomy friends who can make me happyuntil I cannot stop(怎么理解啊?).We feel we are happy when we chat and exchange ideas with oneanother. After a happy chat, I will improve my study and work efficiency. Iwill never forget the experience that happened during my high school. Iwas very stressed because the college entrance exam was coming soon. And myparents expect me to gain a high score in the exam, so as to enter into topcollege in China.In those days, my temper was getting bad and my study was a mess.
Idid not know how to deal with it. At the right time, one of my best friendscame to me and said "Hi, Allen, why you look unhappy". Itold him my circumstance. "why not join us to chat together, we will liftyou up". Then I joined in their team, and share their joyfulstory. We chatted from 9 pm until midnight, the topic including theentertainment news, sports and the joke happened among us. When it came to thefunny topic, we kept on laughing. During the loudly laugh, my dark mood fade away.Suddenly the world seemed bright and full to me. And I also struggled from thehard time and possessed a spiritual mind to prepare the exam. From thatexperience, a friend with fun is benefit to me.

On the otherhand, "A friend inneed is a friend indeed". As life is full of strife and conflict, weneed friends to support and help us out of difficulty. The friends in need willgive us valuable warnings against danger. And they will also offer advice withregard to how to deal with various situations. For most of the people, maybeparents are their best friends. Taking my mother as an example, she is alwaysthere to help me. I am encouraged not only by her words but alsoby her actions. When I feel frustrated and sad, shewill listen to my complaints, and then give me an advice to solve the problem.When I was at primary school, shewas waked up early to prepare breakfast for me. After I came back from school, shewould help me do the schoolwork first, and then she stayedup to do her housework. She continued to do so for six years until Ientered into high school. I will remember my mother's devoting love forever.


To sum up, inour life, we will need a wide range of friend, not only the friends that havefun with, but also friends that will help us when we need them. In differentcircumstances, we need different types of friend. Only bythis way, a person will enjoy more complete and happy(happier) life.
-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/7/8 19:14:55)


dan你改错了咦,是我改T的独立,你改我的独立~~~~(>_<)~~~~ 。那你改了我就不改了,偷个懒儿。我的哪个你改不改都行哪~~
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-9 00:40
sorry,阿T,我7号的综合还没做,等我明儿做了再给你改行不?
-- by 会员 tyyhappy (2012/7/8 23:37:14)



好的好的,木有关系的
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-9 02:27
7月8日 独立 One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help?

Just as the saying goes "knowledge is power", college is a good place for students to explore the precious knowledge, whether it is arts, physics, technology or literature. To broaden their knowledge vision, it is common for students to take other courses that are beyond their majors. For example, a student in the science will take courses in music, history or philosophy. As the students take more strange curriculums, he will inevitably confront many questions in schoolwork and need someone to help him. In this circumstance, what proposal you will recommend for your classmate? In my opinion, the solution depends on the difficulty of schoolwork for me. If it is an easy task for me, I will help him. Otherwise, I will suggest him to resort to the professional tutor.
Helping each other is a virtue. No one has no problem in his study, and a man will give a hand to someone who has help him. Most of all, during the process you are helping others, you will feel happier, and you will benefit from review the knowledge point and learn new from the teaching process. Taking one of my preparations for a final exam as an example, one of my classmates was confused about an explanation about a economic principle and asked me for help. To elaborated the definition of principle more thoroughly and make him understanding well, I used lots of examples that happened on our daily life. It is so magic that after the explanation, I understood the principle even deeper than before. Consequently, we all got a high score in the exam. So I suggest that if the schoolwork is not a tough problem, I would like to exchange my view with my classmate.
On the other hand, if it the schoolwork is difficulty, such as it is related to a tough principle or rule of physics. I will recommend my classmate turn to the professional tutor for help, even though sometimes he should pay a price for the tutor. After all, the tutor is an expert in this field. We all know that to be a tutor, one should pass lots of test and obtain permission in this area. A tutor is more likely to explain a tough problem in a easy way to understanding. Even more, a tutor not only can solve the simple difficulty in the schoolwork, but also can proposal similar questions for students to answer and summery the key point. In this way, a student can master the knowledge well. So in this condition, the investment to employ a tutor will pay off.
From what we have discussed above, when my classmate encounters a difficulty problem, I strongly suggest that he turn to a professional tutor for help. Otherwise, I would be willing to help him.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-9 03:11
7.8 综合 TPO 23

The reading passage focuses on topic of explaining the decline population of cedar, a species of tree that is common in northwestern North America.  The professor’s lecture deals with the same topic. However, the lecture refutes the three reasons for the explanation of declining population of yellow cedar, which is provided by the reading passage.
Firstly, the passage proposes that one hypothesis is that the cedar decline is caused by insect parasite, specially the cedar bark beetle. In the opposite, the lecture points out that the decline of cedar should not be attributed to the insects, such as beetle, because the tree will produce a chemical that make it resistant to the insect. Consequently, the insect parasite cannot cause the number of yellow cedar to decline.
Secondly, the writer says that the brown bears are responsible for the decline of the yellow cedar. The reason is that bears constantly feed the sugar in the tree bark, leading to the tree to die. However, the professor does not agree on this explanation.  He declares that although the bear will damage some tress, they should not be responsible for the whole tree decline, because all the trees no matter in the main land or in the island are declining. And there is not bear in the islands, so we cannot attribute the decline to the bear.
Finally, the passage states that gradual climate change may count the population drop. On the contrary, the speaker does not support this opinion. Because most of the decline happens at the low attitude, which is relative warm, the cold weather caused by the climate change is not reasonable to explain the decline of year cedar.
作者: DanielleZ    时间: 2012-7-9 18:28
hi, 我7.8的独立综合已经完成啦~http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-727156-7-1.html麻烦帮忙修改一下吧。谢谢啦~
作者: DanielleZ    时间: 2012-7-9 18:43
78 独立One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution wouldyou recommend your classmate should do to ask you for help or to find aprofessional tutor for help?

Just as the saying goes "knowledge is power", college isa good place for students to explore the precious knowledge, whether it isarts, physics, technology or literature. To broaden their knowledge vision, itis common for students to take other courses that are beyond their majors. Forexample, a student in the science will take courses in music, history orphilosophy. As the students take more strange curriculums, he will inevitably confront manyquestions in schoolwork and need someone to help him. In this circumstance,what proposal you will recommend for your classmate? In my opinion, thesolution depends on the difficulty of schoolwork for me. If it is an easy taskfor me, I will help him. Otherwise, I will suggest him to resort to theprofessional tutor.


Helping eachother is a virtue. No one has no problem in his study, and a man will give ahand to someone who has help him. Most of all, during the process you are helping others, you will feel happier, and youwill benefit from review the knowledge point and learn new from the teachingprocess. Taking one of my preparations for a final exam as an example, one ofmy classmates was confused about an explanation about a economic principle andasked me for help. To elaborated the definition of principle more thoroughlyand make him understanding well, I used lots of examples that happened on ourdaily life. It is so magic that after the explanation, I understood theprinciple even deeper than before. Consequently, we all got a high score in theexam. So I suggest that if the schoolwork is not a tough problem, I would liketo exchange my view with my classmate.


On the otherhand, if it the schoolwork is difficulty, such as it is related to a tough principle orrule of physics. I will recommend my classmate turn to the professional tutorfor help, even though sometimes he should pay a price for the tutor. After all,the tutor is an expert in this field. We all know that to be a tutor, oneshould pass lots of test and obtain permission in this area. A tutor is morelikely to explain a tough problem in a easy way to understanding. Even more, a tutornot only can solve the simple difficulty(difficulties) in the schoolwork, but also can proposalsimilar questions for students toanswer and summerythe key point. In this way, a student can master the knowledge well. So in thiscondition, the investment to employ a tutor will pay off.


From what wehave discussed above, when my classmate encounters a difficulty problem, Istrongly suggest that he turn to a professional tutor for help. Otherwise, Iwould be willing to help him.
作者: DanielleZ    时间: 2012-7-9 18:44
7.8 TPO23
我觉得综合和独立两篇作文写的都不错,没有什么大的错误。而且逻辑都很清楚。加油啦~
The readingpassage focuses on topic of explaining the decline population of cedar, aspecies of tree that is common in northwestern North America.  The professor’s lecture deals with the same topic.However, the lecture refutes the three reasons for the explanation of decliningpopulation of yellow cedar, which is provided by the reading passage.


Firstly, thepassage proposes thatone hypothesisis that the cedar decline is caused by insectparasite, specially the cedar bark beetle. In the opposite, the lecture pointsout that the decline of cedar should not be attributed to the insects, such asbeetle, because the tree will produce a chemical that make it resistant to theinsect. Consequently, the insect parasite cannot cause the number of yellowcedar to decline.(我觉得有一点,是虫子攻击的都是那些快死或者已经生病的树,那个也可以说一下的)


Secondly, thewriter says that the brown bears are responsible for the decline of the yellowcedar. The reason is that bears constantly feed the sugar in the tree bark,leading to the tree to die. However, the professor does not agree on this explanation. He declares that although the bear will damage some tress, they shouldnot be responsible for the whole tree decline, because all the trees no matterin the main land or in the island are declining. And there is not bear in theislands, so we cannot attribute the decline to the bear.

Finally, the passage states that gradual climatechange may count the population drop. On the contrary, the speaker does notsupport this opinion. Because most of the decline happens at the low attitude,which is relative warm, the cold weather caused by the climate change is notreasonable to explain the decline of year cedar

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-10 02:06
题目"7月9日Do you agree with the viewpoint that the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees"

There are many considerations and factors that will influence a company's performance, such as management level, product quality, customer loyalty or marketing strategy. If the financial budget for a company is tight, which aspect is the most important to invest? When you ask this question to different companies, the answers may be different, which is depend on the company's actual condition and position. So we cannot subjectively say that the most important investment of a company is to improve its employees' skill, rather than we should do analysis by cases.  
To make a decision on which aspect a company should invest, it is better to do a research first. We can collect critical information via different channels, such as from the finance report, consultancy and employees' eyes. After we collect the data, then we should analyze the data. In another word, we can compare the data with the competitor's data and make a trend analysis. Furthermore, a SWOT analysis (strength, weakness, opportunity, threat) is necessary, if we want to look into thoroughly a company's profile. Only based on the detail analysis of the company, can we be likely to make a reasonable decision.
Different companies have different weaknesses and strengths. If a company's fatal weakness is on marketing channel development, which means its customer cannot obtain its product information and access its product, building more channel and finding more partners to promote its product are probable the most important ways to improve its performance. In this case, maybe the company's employees' efficiency and skills are high, so when it put more money on the training program, it will not gain additional benefit to the company. Consequently, we can say that more training on employees may not be the most important investment for a company.
Admittedly, accompanying with the improvement of employees' skill, many aspects of a company's performance may increase, which is including work efficiency, productivity, and management level. However, there are also many factors that will play a more important role in deciding the performance. Moreover, when its employees receive well training, the company cannot guarantee that they will not quit their job and join into its competitors' company. If this is true, it may be a big loss for the company who had given a well training to its staff.
From what we have discussed above, we can safely conclude that when a company considers which aspect is its most important investment, it had better do a research first. After all there are many factors that will decide its future performance.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-10 03:22
7.9 TPO 24 综合写作

The lecture and the reading material are both discussing the topic whether a 70-million-year-old fossil of Trrannosaurus rex might still contain remains of the actual tissues of the animal. The reading passage convinces that the fossil may contain remains of actual tissues of the animal, while the listening material refutes the evidences provided by the writer.

To begin with, the reading passage states the presence of a soft, flexible organic substance inside the channels provides evidence that many small branching channels found inside the fossilized leg bone are related to remains of blood vessels. However the listening material says that the soft, flexible substance inside the bone channel isnot necessarily the remains of blood vessels. It may be something else.

Secondly, the wirter points out that the presence of spheres may be the remains of red blood cells, because the spheres contained iron, and the spheres had dark red centers which maybe reddish in colar with iron. In contrast, the professor believes that the spheres may come from a different origin.

Finally, the professor points out that collagen will not be found in a animal that are older than 100 hundred thousand years. Because the dinosaurs lived 70-millinion ago, it is impossible to find the collagen in their fossils. The collagen may come from the researcher's hand. While the passsage used the collagen as an evidence to support its idea which is not agree by the professor.
作者: kchszy061ban    时间: 2012-7-10 12:10
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
There are many considerations and factors that will influence a company's performance, such as management level, product quality, customer loyalty or marketing strategy. If the financial budget for a company is tight, which aspect is the most important to invest? When you ask this question to different companies, the answers may be different, which is depend on the company's actual condition and position. So we cannot subjectively say that the most important investment of a company is to improve its employees' skill, rather than we should do analysis by cases.  

To make a decision on which aspect a company should invest, it is better to do a research first. We can collect critical information via different channels, such as from the finance report, consultancy and employees' eyes. After we collect the data, then we should analyze the data. In another word
s, we can compare the data with their competitor's data and make a trend analysis. Furthermore, a SWOT analysis (strength, weakness, opportunity, threat) is necessary, if we want to look into thoroughly a company's profile. Only based on the detail(这个不是adj analysis of the company, can we be likely to make a reasonable decision.

Different companies have different weaknesses and strengths. If a company's fatal weakness is on marketing channel development, which means its customer cannot obtain its product information and access its product, building more channel and finding more partners to promote its product
are probable the most important ways to improve its performance. In this case, maybe the company's employees' efficiency and skills are high, so wheneven or though it put more money on the training program, it will not gain additional benefit to the company. Consequently, we can say that more training on employees may not be the most important investment for a company.

Admittedly, accompanying with the improvement of employees' skill, many aspects of a company's performance may increase, which
is including work efficiency, productivity, and management level. However, there are also many factors that will play a more important role in deciding the performance. Moreover, when its employees receive well training, the company cannot guarantee that they will not quit their job and join into its competitors' company. If this is true, it may be a big loss for the company who had given a well training to its staff.

From what we have discussed above, we can safely conclude that when a company considers which aspect is its most important investment, it had better do a research first. After all there are many factors that will
decide(总感觉这个词,不如determine its future performance.




总体清晰明了,另起观点是不错的选择。

The lecture and the reading material are both discussing(一般不用进行时的这里。) the topic whether a 70-million-year-old fossil of Trrannosaurus rex might still contain remains of the actual tissues of the animal. The reading passage convinces that the fossil may contain remains of actual tissues of the animal, while the listening material refutes the evidences provided by the writer.

To begin with, the reading passage states the presence of a soft, flexible organic substance inside the channels provides evidence that many small branching channels found inside the fossilized leg bone are related to remains of blood vessels. However
, the listening material says that the soft, flexible substance inside the bone channel is not necessarily the remains of blood vessels. It may be something else. (听力要点,不过这样也行)

Secondly, the wirter points out that the presence of spheres may be the remains of red blood cells, because the spheres contained iron, and the spheres had dark red centers which maybe reddish in colar with iron. In contrast, the professor believes that the spheres may come from a different origin.

Finally, the professor points out that collagen will not be found in a animal that are older than
100 hundred thousand years. Because the dinosaurs lived 70-millinion ago, it is impossible to find their collagen in their fossils. The collagen may come from the researcher's hand. While the passsage used the collagen as an evidence to support its idea which is not agreed by the professor.



结构清楚了,细节再完整下就好了。



作者: T不死    时间: 2012-7-11 03:23
7.10 综合 TPO 1

The reading passage and the listening passage are both talking about whether a new policy that offer the employees the option of working a four-day workweek for 80% percent of their normal pay would gain benefits for company, society, and employees. The reading passage convinces that the proposal policy would have positive effect on the company, society, and employees, while the listening passage refutes this opinion.
To begin with, the writer says that the shortened workweek would increase company profits. However the speaker states that the shortened workweek would lead to the company to hire more employees, and the other cost, such as welfare and new employees training fee, will increase. Consequently, the company's profit will be cut off from the20% saving from the existing employees.
Secondly, the reading passage claims that the policy would reduce the unemployment rate, which is a big benefit to the society. However, the listening passage says that the policy cannot guarantee that the company will hire more employees because of higher expense of new employees. Instead, the company is likely to expect employee to work overtime and increase more workload to employees. In this case, there would not have any benefits for the society
Finally, the writer believes in that the policy would improve the employees' life quality, because they will have more time with their families. In contrast, the speaker says that the new policy will probably have a bad effect on employees' career. They are more likely to be fired and less likely to be promoted, because they cannot adjust themselves to the work better than the staffs who work five-day workweek.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-15 03:14
8月15日 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes

In modern family, more and more parents pay more attention to children's education than ever before. Hence, the children is under better care. It is not rare to see that some parents revolve around the children to help them avoid of making mistakes.However this kind of great tender does not good to children's independent and intellectual creativity. On the contrast, I will be in favor of such parents who let their children to make mistakes and induce them to learn the lesson from the mistakes.
Preparing an ready answer will stunt the development of children's independence. In a traditional Chinese family, there is only one child, and the parents tend to spoil the children to make them feel happy. In the parents' eyes, they will feel happy as long as their children are content. Therefore, in such atmosphere, which children rely too much on parents, will do harm to children's independence characteristics. In this case, if the children leave their home, they will unavoidly feel helpless when they encouter a difficulty. In the long run, they will lose the confidence to solve the problems by themselves, which will have a bad impact in children's future life.
What is more, nowadays, parents are not always free to look after their children. Under the tense society pressure, more and more mothers have to leave their home to go to office for work; meanwhile, the days most mothers were staying at home to coax their children have gone away. After a long date of work, parents are likely to go to gym to do the fitness, because their bodies are too tire, and they need sports to refresh their energies. Thus, the children, considering the health of their parents, should do most of work independly.
Finally, making a mistake is a good start to succeed. When one makes a mistake, he is apt to learn a lesson from the mistake: he will think the mistake deeply, and make a summary about how to avoid the mistake. Moreover, in this process, they will develop their creativity. Take the great inventor, Newton, for example. Newton was hit by an apple when he stood under the apple tree. After that, he ruminated the  question why the apple would hit him. If his father told him that it was a natural phonomonem that the apple fell when it was ripe, we would miss the rule the gravity.
From what we have discussed above, it is safe to conclude that allowing the children to make mistakes and learn a lesson from the mistakes is a better method to educate the children. Only in this way, will the children be independent from their parents and develop the character of creativity.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-16 02:59
8月16日
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.


With the development of technology and science, nowadays, the modern family living condition is better off than ever before, and the education level of the parents is highly improved. Under such circumstance, some people believe that now it is much easier for children to achieve success under the guidance of parents than what is like before. In my opinion, when considering the new challenge the children have to face and other factors that involved in the success, however, I will deny that idea, and I believe that it is now more difficult for children to achieve success than ever before, regardless the help of their parents.
To achieve one's success, we should consider many other factors, which are integral to influence the result, such as persistence and talent. We know that children cannot obtain persistence and talent characters from their parents; rather only based on the children's independent effort, will the characters be formed. If the parents impose two much requirement on children, they will gain an opposite outcome. Take my neighbor for example: he was so eager to let his child know the importance of study that he invited the best tutor in our community to teach his child. In the opposite, his child felt boring to study, and was reluctant to observe his father's rule. Hence, family will stunt children's success if it does not induct children properly.
We live in a globalization and unbanization society, and the city is becoming more and more crowded. Accordingly, in the 21st century, the younger in the city will face more challenge than the times in old days: they will face the intense competition and more pressure under the fast pace of living pattern. We can hardly say that they will achieve success much easier, but rather they should pay more energy and effort to be successful. It is not rare to see that nowadays the top MBA school admission standard is becoming more strictly than in 20th century. The application should not only have high scores in GMAT and Toefl, but also experience a high management position in excellent company. Therefore, the fierce competition requires younger to pay more, which makes make the success more difficult to pick.
Admittedly, today, most of parents have abandon the illiteracy, and they can educate and instruct the children, which will make the children more likely to avoid making mistakes. However, as the society keeps on progress, the knowledge need to continually update, and the children can master the new knowledge faster than their parents. Moreover, there are various opportunities lied before children, they will choose another career path, which is completely different from their parents. Consequence, the family will have limited impact on the children's success.
From what we have discussed above, we can safely conclude that family will not largely help the success of the children. There are many other factors that will influence one's success, such as the character of persistent, and the macro economical environment that children live.

作者: 听心22    时间: 2012-8-16 08:11
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误





815
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes

In modern family, more and more parents pay more attention to children's education than ever before. Hence, the children is (are) under better care. It is not rare to see that some parents revolve around the children to help them avoid of making mistakes. However this kind of great tender does not(no, do no good to
是固定用法好像,如果用not,后面是不是要用for?查了没找到正解) good to children's independent and intellectual creativity. On the contrast, I will be in favor of such parents who let their children to make mistakes and induce them to learn the lesson from the mistakes.
Preparing an(a) ready answer will stunt the development of children's independence. In a traditional Chinese family, there is only one child, and the parents tend to spoil the children to make them feel happy. In the parents' eyes, they will feel happy as long as their children are content. Therefore, in such atmosphere, which children rely too much on parents, will do harm to children's independence characteristics. In this case, if(after) the children leave their home, they will unavoidly(unavoidably) feel helpless when they encouter(encounter)a difficulty. In the long run, they will lose the confidence to solve the problems by themselves, which will have a bad impact in children's future life.
What is more, nowadays, parents are not always free to look after their children. Under the tense society pressure, more and more mothers have to leave their home to go to office for work; meanwhile, the days most mothers were staying at home to coax their children have gone away.(w
不太理解这半句存在的必要性) After a long date of work, parents are likely to go to gym to do the fitness, because their bodies are too tire, and不理解,上了一天半很累还想去gym?they need sports to refresh their energies. Thus, the children, considering the health of their parents, should do most of work independly.(没理解“家长没时间看孩子,所以他们必须独立”和“允许孩子犯错”的逻辑关系在哪里。)
Finally, making a mistake is a good start to succeed. When one makes a mistake, he is apt to learn a lesson from the mistake: he will think the mistake deeply, and make a summary about how to avoid the mistake. Moreover, in this process, they will develop their creativity. Take the great inventor, Newton, for example. Newton这里可省略了吧)was hit by an apple when he stood under the apple tree. After that, he ruminated the  question why the apple would hit him. If his father told him that it was a natural phenomenon that the apple fell when it was ripe, we would miss the rule the gravity. 苹果引起牛顿思索怎么推出错误是成功的起点?看不懂呀,我开始怀疑自己了,哈哈。)
From what we have discussed above, it is safe to conclude that allowing the children to make mistakes and learn a lesson from the mistakes is a better method to educate the children. Only in this way, will the children be independent from their parents and develop the character of creativity.


总结:语句很流畅,上下句连接自然。我看过你以前的作文都挺好的,可这篇的中间两段的论据与论点让我疑惑不解呀。

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-17 04:15
8月17日Is the most important characteristic of a good political or business leader is the ability to take responsibility for mistakes?
There are many factors that a person will take into account when judging a good political or business leader. When it comes to the question of which is the most important, different people will hold different ideas depending on their own perspectives and judgments. As far as I am concerned, the characteristic of responsibility for mistake undoubtedly ranks the first. The reason why I hold this idea is that this characteristic not only represents that the person is mature, but also motivates the person to do well in his scope of work.

Only realizing the important of responsibility and willing to take charge of the obligation can a political or business leader be called a mature adult. In the real business or political world, responsibility is the fundamental requirement for the leader. If a person always ignores his obligation, he will never be admired by his subordinate staff. Hence, his staff will not observe his order, which will be a disaster for the company or the government because he cannot organizer and coordinate other persons to reach the preset goal. My former superintendent, whose position was responsible for the whole department's sale performance, was a selfish man. When the performance at certain month met the target, he would go to the boss office, and make a boast of how excellent he was to manage the team. However, in the performance downfall days, he would tell the boss that it is the team members' responsibility, and complaint that some staff need to be fired. He never attributed a little bit duty to himself. After witting many times of his acting, our team members unveiled his real nature, and ignored what he said. In the end, he had to leave the company. From the example, we can know that responsibility and honest is the basic quality of a good leader.

Moreover, responsibility not only is a prerequisite character for a eminent leader, but also can motive him to work hard when he realizes the mistakes. we do not need to feel fear about the mistake, but we should scare the lack courage of facing the mistake. During the long history of fight with the odious environment, human has the instinct character to solve the problem with proper methods. If one cannot confront the mistake, how can he develop the motivation to solve the problem? The only way for a spineless person to solve the problem maybe is to elude it, leading the problem exist forever. Only the valiant person who is dedicated to the responsibility will diagnose the problem carefully and seek a way to fix the mistake. My honorable high school English teacher, miss zhen, always concentrates on analyzing the students' test performance, especially on the wrong answers. she thinks that it is his fault of not imparting the knowledge to students thoroughly when she reflect the wrong answers done by students, rather than students' careless. It is not rare that the students in her class also lead the performance table. Therefore the courage to undertake the mistakes is very important for a leader to further develop his positive character and seek a solution to the difficulty.

Undoubtedly, we will also use other factors, such as intelligence, leadership, and skill level, to evaluate a good leader. However, when taking into account of all the concerns, I think the responsibility for mistakes is the most important. And it is the prerequisite requirement for a good leader. If a person loses this characteristic, he will never be a good leader.

From what we have discussed above, I strongly agree that the responsibility rank the first to judge a good leader. And it is my first concern to choose a leader, if I can choose freely based on my view.

作者: 听心22    时间: 2012-8-17 12:24
816

Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.


With the development of technology and science, nowadays, the modern family living condition is better off than ever before, and the education level of the parents is highly improved. Under such circumstance, some people believe that now (at present) it is much easier for children to achieve success under the guidance of parents than what is like before (in the past). In my opinion, when considering the new challenge the children have to face and other factors that involved in the success, however, I will deny that idea, and I believe that it is nowmore difficult for children to achieve success than ever before, regardless the help of their parents.
To achieve one's success, we should consider many other factors, which are integral to influence the result, such as persistence and talent. We know that children cannot obtain persistence and talent characters from their parents; rather only based on the children's independent effort, will(后面缺少动词) character be formed.(这句看不懂) If the parents impose twotoo笔误吧)much requirement on children, (感觉这里要说“不但不能帮助,还会起反作用”更有说服力)they will gain an opposite outcome. Take my neighborfor example: he was so eager to let his child know the importance of study that he invited the best tutor in our community to teach his child. In the opposite, his child felt boring to study, and was reluctant to observe his father's rule. Hence, family will stunt children's success if it does not induct children properly.
We live in a globalization and unbanization(urbanization) society, and the city is becoming more and more crowded. Accordingly, in the 21st century, the younger in the city will face more challenges than the times in old days: they will face the intense competition and more pressure under the fast pace of living pattern. We can hardly say that they will achieve success much easier, but rather they should pay more energy and effort to be successful. It is not rare to see that nowadays the top MBA school admission standard is becoming more strictly than in 20th century. The application should not only have high scores in GMAT and Toefl, but also experience a high management position inanexcellent company. Therefore, the fierce competition requires younger to pay more, which makes make the success more difficult to pick.
Admittedly, today, most of (the) parents have (to) abandon the illiteracy(可以这样用么?网上找没找到,) and they can educate and instruct the children, which will make the children more likely to avoid making mistakes. However, as the society keeps on progress, the knowledge need to continually update(前后换个位置好点), and the children can master the new knowledge faster than their parents. Moreover, there are various opportunities lied before children, they will choose another career path, which is completely different from their parents. Consequence, the family will have limited impact on the children's success.
From what we have discussed above, we can safely conclude that family will not largely help the success of the children. There are many other factors that will influence one's success, such as the character of persistent, and the macro economicaleconomic environment that children live.
总结:逻辑结构没问题,喜欢你行文的流畅,词汇也不缺啊,个别句子有待商榷。

BTW:谢谢你的批改,很细致,我学到很多

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-18 01:50
谢谢听心童子帮我改16号的作文,啥时候我也帮你改下哈
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-18 15:47
8.18(因为和8.16重复,根据写作小分队队长建议改题)  Do you agree or disagere that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teacher's salaries?
There are many factors that should be taken into account when we seek a way to improve the quality of education. Those factors, such as teaching method, teachers' motivation, teachers' profession level, and the advanced fundamental facility in school, etc, form the whole education system. If people ask themselves: which one is the best way to enhance the quality of education. There are various answers based on certain schools' own conditions. In my point of view, if I am a principle in my school, I will put the most energy and money on the school's infrastructure and students’ related issues, rather than on increasing teacher's salaries.
To begin with, teacher's motivation will have a big impact on the quality of education. However increasing teacher's salaries is not the best way to improve the motivation of teachers. For most of the teachers, the reason why they choose the vocation of teaching is that they just find the career fit their affections, such as broadening their knowledge vision and more free time to do deplore their research in certain field. Compared to the increase of salaries, they are more likely to be motivated by providing more fund support in their research field. Take my physics teacher for example: he is a mechanical engineer, and his dream is to invent a robot to manage the housework at home. When he joined our university faculty, he quit the high salary pay in a business company, because the company only wants to utility his knowledge rather to provide fund to support his idea of making the robot. If I am a principle, I will persuade the school to finance his research, which will make him have a sense of importance. Only the teachers, who have the sense, can dedicate themselves in teaching.
Also, if I am a principle, I will exert my effort to renew our laboratory equipments. In our school, the laboratory's instruments and implements are dated. It has been a long time since the last time school replenished the tools and equipments. Because of its poor equipped condition, students rarely go to the laboratory. It is a universal truth that practice is best way to master knowledge deeply. Hence, students' limited practice in the laboratory will impede their further understanding of the physical theory, which will also have a negative impact on their future jobs and study. Moreover, boosting the equipment quality in laboratory will do not need much money compared to the money spent on increasing teacher's salaries, and it will benefit for both students and teacher. Therefore I think concentrating the school's infrastructure is a better way to enhance education quality.
Admitted, with the remarkable increase of salaries, teacher morale will be raised. However, it needs a large amount of money to do this. If we raised the salaries on a trivial level, teachers will not be motivated accordingly. There is also other negative effects, such as the unfair pay raising policy which will, in the opposite, incur dissatisfaction.
Form what we have discussed above, I would rather prefer pay more concentration on the teacher's real requirement and the school's infrastructure level when finding a way to improve the education quality.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-19 16:11
8月19 日Do you agree or disagree, the way a person dressed is a good indication of his/her personality or characte
With the development of textile and cosmetic, compared to the old days, nowadays people can choose their dress style, such as fashion, classic, or traditional one. Although these style somewhat indicate a man's personality or character, they, however, should not be used as a good indication to judge a man's personality, and sometime judging a person in this way will cause mistakes. The reason is that people have many facet characteristics, and that they are also good at disguising their nature.
To begin with, a person has many facets, because they have many different roles in society. At home, as a man, he should show his responsibility for his child's education, which will make him be a tender and patient man. In business world, his role may be a manager or leader, so he should show his leadership and management talent. In the sport field, he will exhibit his energetic and vigor. Still, in some times, he should be a quiet person, because he needs sometime to ruminate a while for the daily work. Then the problem has comes, if we admit the saying that the clothes and dress style is a good indication of a person's personality, because in the above circumstance, the man maybe dress the same clothes. Therefore, it is difficult to judge a person's character only by the way he dressed.
Move over, in sometimes, the make-up style will disguise a person's inherent nature. For a long history period, we always judge people through their appearance and their garbs, but few of us know that what we have saw will cheat us, because the make-up mechanic. In the "millionaire" movie, because the talor judges the stranger by his ragged dress, he nearly lost a customer. There is also a good example happened in my experience. Once I was a fever fan to a movie star, because of his handsome apperance and fashion style. I insist that his inherent nature is as good as his superficial face. Until I saw his comments in TV that the most interesting thing that he loved to do is going to the drink-bar and smoking, I suddenly realized that he is not beautiful at all. Hence, we need to take more factors into account, when we judge a person, and a mere appearance will make us misunderstanding the real nature of a person.
Admitted, in some circumstance, the dress will give us a first impression to a stranger. However, as we know more about the stranger, we need to consider more factors to know him.
From what we have discussed above, it is safe to conclude that a person's appearance will cheat us, because the make-up technique will disguise his nature, so we need to take more aspects into account when we want to judge a person's real character and personality.
作者: kchszy061ban    时间: 2012-8-19 21:17
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
There are many factors that should be taken into account when we seek a way to improve the quality of education. Those factors, such as teaching method, teachers' motivation, teachers' profession level, and the advanced fundamental facility in school, etc, form the whole education system. If people ask themselves: which one is the best way to enhance the quality of education.这里就不是用句号了,与if联系啊 There are various answers based on certain schools' own conditions. In my point of view, if I am a principleprincipal in my school, I will put the most energy and money on the school's infrastructure and students’ related issues, rather than on increasing teacher's salaries.

To begin with, teacher's motivation will have a big impact on the quality of education. However increasing teacher's salaries is not the best way to improve the motivation of teachers. For most of the teachers, the reason why they choose the vocation of teaching is that they just find the career fit their affections, such as broadening their knowledge vision and more free time to
do(多余) deplore their research in certain field. Compared to the increase of salaries, they are more likely to be motivated by providing more fund support in their research field. Take my physics teacher for example: he is a mechanical engineer, and his dream is to invent a robot to manage the housework at home. When he joined our university faculty, he quit the high salary pay in a business company, because the company only wants to utility his knowledge rather to provide fund to support his idea of making the robot. If I am a principle, I will persuade the school to finance his research, which will make him have a sense of importance. Only the teachers, who have the sense, can dedicate themselves in teaching.

Also, if I am a principle, I will exert my effort to renew our laboratory equipments. In our school, the laboratory's instruments and implements are dated. It has been a long time since the last time school replenished the tools and equipments. Because of its poor equipped condition, students rarely go to the laboratory. It is a universal truth that practice is best way to master knowledge deeply. Hence, students' limited practice in the laboratory will impede their further understanding of the physical theory, which will also have a negative impact on their future jobs and study. Moreover, boosting the equipment quality in laboratory will do not need much money compared to the money spent on increasing teacher's salaries, and it will benefit for both students and teacher. Therefore I think concentrating the school's infrastructure is a better way to enhance education quality.
(这段写的不错额)

Admitted, with the remarkable increase of salaries, teacher morale will be raised. However, it needs a large amount of money to do this. If we raised the salaries on a trivial level, teachers will not be motivated accordingly. There is also other negative effects, such as the unfair pay raising policy which will, in the opposite, incur dissatisfaction.


Form what we
I 这个是不能用错的了) have discussed above, I would rather prefer pay more concentration on the teacher's real requirement and the school's infrastructure level when finding a way to improve the education quality.
整体的例证都是不错的。

作者: 浅吟天    时间: 2012-8-20 16:04
8月19 日Do you agree or disagree, the way a person dressed is a good indication of his/her personality or characte
黄色模版加好的,绿色批注红色我改的  
With the development of textile and cosmetic, compared towith the old days, nowadays people(建议people,摆句首,people,nowadays,can…) can choose their dress style, such as fashion, classic, or traditional one. Although these style(styles)somewhat indicate a man's personality or character, they, however, should not be used as a good indication to judge a man's personality, and sometime judging a person in this way will cause mistakes. The reason is(are) that people have many facet(many facets of cha..) characteristics, and that they are also good at disguising their nature.
To begin with, a person has many facets(
换个词呢,前面有了,sides), because they have many different roles in society. At home, as a man, he should show his responsibility for his child's education, which will make him be a tender and patient man. In business world, his role may be a manager or(加个a?回复我一下哈,一直不确定的一个问题) leader, so he should show his leadership and management talent. In the sport field, he will exhibit his energetic(energy) and vigor. Still, in some times, he should be a quiet person, because he needs sometime to ruminate a while for the daily work. Then the problem has comes, if we admit the saying that the clothes and dress style is(are) a good indication (那这个单复数也要改了)of a person's personality, because in the above circumstance, the man maybe dress the same clothes(为啥啊,这里再补一点逻辑就更好了,我就会想他上班西装,运动球服。。). Therefore, it is difficult to judge a person's character only by the way he dressed.(我觉得这段四个角色很好,但太多了,意思我们都懂就是角色变化,关键是强调后面的角色变化与衣服无关,而这点的叙述上反而一笔带过)
Move overmoreover哇?没懂), in sometimes, the make-up style will disguise a person's inherent nature. For a long history period, we always judge people through their appearance and their garbs, but few of us know that what we have saw will cheat us, because the make-up mechanic. In the "millionaire" movie, because the talor judges the stranger by his ragged dress, he nearly lost a customer(其实那人有钱,点出来,不然没显出judge外表判断错了). There is also a good example happened in my experience. Once I was a fever fan to a movie star, because of his handsome apperance and fashion style. I insist that his inherent nature is as good as his superficial face. Until I saw his comments in TV that the most interesting thing that he loved to do is(个人觉得可以简略比如,he is fond of…his hobby is.. going to the drink-bar and smoking(再恶劣一点如何,smoking邓爷爷也好这口的。比如劈腿啊这类的,这样反差更大,我好邪恶。。。), I suddenly realized that he is(请教一个问题,一个过去时的从句中表达一个事实可以用一般现在时哇,一直困扰我。。) not beautiful at all. Hence, we need to take more factors into account, when we judge a person, and a mere appearance will make us misunderstanding(用动词) the real nature of a person.
Admitted, in some circumstance, the dress will give us a first impression to a stranger. However, as we know more about the stranger, we need to consider more factors to know him.
From what we have discussed above, it is safe to conclude that a person's appearance will cheat us, because the make-up technique will disguise his nature, so we need to take more aspects into account when we want to judge a person's real character and personality.(
嗯,怎么说呢,我觉得题目是说衣服是不是个indicator对性格,不是从衣服就直接judge一个人了,这个程度要深一点。所以,你说judge时要考虑多方面不能从衣服直接下定论没错,但我们要讨论的是衣服能不能算那么一个方面,给点reference。不知我这么理解题目对不对)





总的来说,lz用词很好,好多好词学习了

但语法错误有点小多,再检查一遍就好了

第二个分论点很好,例子也好。第一个提过了就是再加强下叙述。

作者: 浅吟天    时间: 2012-8-20 16:05
说句无关的
咳咳,这么巧,同时在改对方的,马上过去看。。
你的名字好有个性啊。。
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-20 21:27
8.20  TPO 18 综合
In this set of materials, the reading passage and the listening passage are both discussing about the way to save Torreya taxifoha from becoming extinct. However, they hold different opinion about the ways to prevent the tree from declining. The author in the reading passage thinks that there are three way to address the decline of Terreya, and these methods will have a positive outcome. In the opposite, the professor in the lectures says that all these methods will not work.
Firstly, the author declaims that reestablish Torreya in the original location will save the tree. For example, the tree can grow in the north part of Florida, because the microclimate there is very favorable to Torreya growth. In contrast, the lecture states that Torreya is unlikely to survive in the original location, because the living environment there has been strongly affected by the climate. For example, the weather now is dry and the temperature is high.
Also, the passage holds the opinion that Torreya can be move to a different location which are suitable for its growth. However, the speaker disagrees with this method. The author states that the relocation will interrupt the ecological system in the area. The author uses the blood tree for an example. The blood tree spreads quickly and finally leads the native tree die out.
Finally, in the passage, the author thinks that it is a good method to keep the Torreya in the research center. However, the professor does not think this method will work in the long term period. The tree grown in the research center does not have the ability to resist the disease. And the scientist cannot grow large amount of tree in the research center.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-20 21:29
8月20日 your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

It is not rare to see the scene that some people dedicated all his energy and time on their jobs, while they sacrifice the precious time with their families and friends. Mostly, they prefer to attain the greater happiness from the jobs than the ones from the social life. I, however, have the opposite opinion. I am preferable staying with my family and friend if I can arrange my time schedule freely, because when I stay with my parents and good friend, it is easy for me to relax myself, and I can share my happiness and sad things with them. Hence, I think the happiness in the social life will impact more on me.

To begin with, while you immerse in your accomplished work, you should also prepare to pay more energy and vigor to achieve further success, which will burden your mental pressure. In a sense, the sense of happiness that the job brings to you just adds more sad or difficult stuff in your further work, so you could hardly take it as a truth delight. Moreover it is much more difficult to achieve the happiness in the job than in the social life. When you stay with your family, a trivial thing, such as a good cooked dinner, or a new piece of clothes you parents buy for you, will mood you and bring a sense of cheerful to you. Anyway the threshold of happiness that brought by the social life is lower than by the job.
Also, we can enjoy various kinds of happiness in the social life, which will enrich and improve our living standard, which also has a positive effect on one's work. If one only retrieves happiness from the tedious job, he will never experience the diversity life that the god has prepared for us, because he misses the beautiful thing in the daily life. Moreover, the happiness from the social life will boost one's confidence and ambition in the work. Take my uncle for an example. My uncle, who is a business man, opened a trade company in a town. In the finance crisis, his company nearly went into bankruptcy because of the decrease order from oversea. On the edge of his total defeat, my aunt persuaded him to have a vacation. During the vacation, he spent most of time with his family, and he enjoys the happiness with his family. The most important for his is that he found out that the big fortune that he possesses is his family. After the vacation, in the support of his family, he built up his confidence and sought more opportunities for his company. Finally, his companies revived and defeat the difficulty.
Admittedly, under the pressure of society and the soaring living expense, a man should work hard to make his family have a happy life. However, we could not ignore the importance of happiness that comes from family and friends. If a man only retrieves happiness from the work, I think he is a selfish person.
From what I have discussed above, we can safely conclude that social life will bring us more happiness than the job. The reason is that social life not only can bring us various kinds of happiness, but also can promote more happiness chances in the work.
作者: 猫和鸭    时间: 2012-8-21 10:37
8月20日 your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.It is not rare to see the scene that some people dedicated all his energy and time on their jobs, while they sacrifice(WHILE前后时态一致过去式) the precious time with their families and friends. Mostly, they prefer to attain the greater happiness from the jobs than the ones from the social life. I, however, have the opposite opinion. I am preferable staying with my family and friend if I can arrange my time schedule freely, because when I stay with my parents and good friend, it is easy for me to relax myself, and I can share my happiness and sad things with them. Hence, I think the happiness in the social life will impact more on me.To begin with, while you immerse in your accomplished work, you should also prepare to pay more energy and vigor to achieve further success, which will burden your mental pressure. In a sense, the sense of happiness that the job brings to you just adds more sad or difficult stuff in your further work, so you could hardly take it as a truth delight.好词 Moreover it is much more difficult to achieve the happiness in the job than in the social life. When you stay with your family, a trivial thing, such as a good cooked dinner, or a new piece of clothes you parents buy for you, will mood动词? you and bring a sense of cheerful to you. Anyway the threshold of happiness that brought by the social life is lower than by the job.好句Also, we can enjoy various kinds of happiness in the social life, which will enrich and improve our living standard, which also has a positive effect on one's work. If one only retrieves happiness from the tedious job, he will never experience the diversity life that the god has prepared for us, because he misses the beautiful thing in the daily life. Moreover, the happiness from the social life will boost one's confidence and ambition in the work. Take my uncle for an example. My uncle, who is a business man, opened a trade company in a town. In the finance crisis, his company nearly went into bankruptcy拼错了? because of the decrease order from oversea. On the edge of his total defeat,好句 my aunt persuaded him to have a vacation. During the vacation, he spent most of time with his family, and he enjoys the happiness with his family. The most important for his is that he found out that the big fortune that he possesses is his family. (改了一下,不知道合不合适the most important thing for him is that he found out the big fortune which he can possess is his family for sure.)After the vacation, in the support of his family, he built up his confidence and sought more opportunities for his company. Finally, his companies revived and defeat the difficulty.Admittedly, under the pressure of society and the soaring living expense,好句 a man should work hard to make his family have a happy life. However, we could not ignore the importance of happiness that comes from family and friends. If a man only retrieves happiness from the work, I think he is a selfish person.From what I have discussed above, we can safely conclude that social life will bring us more happiness than the job(does). The reason is that social life not only can bring us various kinds of happiness, but also can promote more happiness chances in the work.
这位同学应该是语文功底很好的样子,话说我都说不了这么有逻辑性的句子,自己瀑布汗一个,再就是我自己水平确实弱,希望我的作业不会恶心到你才好,我才刚开始练习写作,所以更别提帮人批改了,惭愧啊,你的作文总体上架构很完整的说,也没有什么特别原则性的问题,而且有些长句子也用得很到位,特别有些好句子我学习收藏了哈。另外,如果有改得不到位的和欠缺的地方还请见谅!
作者: 猫和鸭    时间: 2012-8-21 10:38
为毛WORD文档贴过来的一些下划线和标示之类的这里都显不出来啊。。。瀑布汗啊,希望LZ能看懂!
作者: kchszy061ban    时间: 2012-8-21 19:59
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
In this set of materials, the reading passage and the listening passage are(这里一般不用进行时的)both discussing about the way to save Torreya taxifoha from becoming extinct. However, they hold different opinion about the ways to prevent the tree from declining. The author in the reading passage thinks that there are three ways to address the decline of Terreya, and these methods will have a positive outcome. In the opposite, the professor in the lectures says that all these methods will not work.

Firstly, the author declaims that reestablish Torreya in the original location will save the tree. For example, the tree can grow in the north part of Florida, because the microclimate there is very favorable to Torreya growth. In contrast, the lecture states that Torreya is unlikely to survive in the original location, because the living environment there has been strongly affected by the climate. For example, the weather now is dry and the temperature is high.
(这个再加入小点吧,是不是得分的地方,另外就是reading里面的写的有些多了)

Also, the passage holds the opinion that Torreya can be move to a different location which are suitable for its growth. However, the speaker disagrees with this method. The autho
rspeaker states that the relocation will interrupt the ecological system in the area. The author uses the blood tree for an example. The blood tree spreads quickly and finally leads the native tree die out.

Finally, in the passage, the author thinks that it is a good method to keep the Torreya in the research center. However, the professor does not think this method will work in the long term period. The tree grown in the research center does not have the ability to resist the disease. And the scientist cannot grow large amount of tree in the research center.
(这里面的关系处理一下就好,不能大规模种导致基因单一不能抵抗diseases
整体还是不错的,在简单一下,能用一个词说完的就不要刻意增加字数。只要把意思说全说明白就好。

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-21 20:48
2012. 8.21  It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of oldfriends.

With the urbanization development in China and the globalization in the world, today it is very common to see that some of your friends, who live in the same surroundings with you, will have to leave you and go to another city or country. Some people may feel frustrated and sorrowful and sometimes they may even sob and weep when they know that they will have to leave their intimate friends. As for me, however, I feel more positive to that circumstance. The reason why I feel in that way is as following:

Thanks to the modern transportation, well build internet and telephone net, and well organized society, Nowadays, we can communicate each other more conveniently compared to the times when the only method to communicate information with each other is via writing letters. After I graduated from university, I found a job in another city which is far from my hometown where most of my old friends stay. After I settled down in the new city, I found that the connection between my old friends and me become much stronger. They will ask me various questions, such as what kind of life in the city is or how the local people behave. We talk via QQ, a tool of online chatting and we call each other more frequently than when we are in the same city.When I want to see my friends or when my friends want to see me, I will invite them to visit my new city, and take them to enjoy the local beautiful scene. We can meet each other easily because of the high speed train operation in China. Moreover, I will never feel alone when I stay in a new city. I can join into the local life very quickly, learning the local language and behaving the same way as the native people.
At the very beginning of thelife when I come to a new city, I will have more time to make myself came down and think about the life in the future, and it is not easy to do this when my surrounding are full of talkative friends. After I am familiar with the new city, I can make new friend in the city, sharing their opinion about life and exchange idea about various cultures. In the new city, I can dive myself into the unique culture and enjoy the special local cuisine. I can learn more and experience more in a new city when I am young.
Admittedly, in a new city which is far from my hometown, the opportunities to have the face to face talk with my old friends are less than when I stay in my hometown. However, with the help of various tool of communication, the distance will not impede and hurt our relationship. Considering that we can make a new friend in a new city and enjoy a different way of life, I would like to stay in a new city when I am young.
To sum up, moving to a new city is not always a bad thing for me. As a youth, I would like to experience and learn more about different life and cultures. After all, we are not bound to live in a stereotype type of life, and we can try to live in new lifestyle which will help to broaden our vision of life.
作者: lemonyhu    时间: 2012-8-21 23:26
2012. 8.21 It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of oldfriends.

好句时态语态错误需要添加内容
With the
urbanization development(两个名词放一起这个……)in China and the globalization in the world, today it is very common to see that some of your friends, who live in the same surroundings with you, will have to leave you and go to another city or country. Some people may feel frustrated and sorrowful and sometimes(我觉得这个句子两个and连在一起,但是其实三个内容并列并不合理,所以不如化长句为短句,变成Some people…..sorrowful. Sometimes they may….说得更清楚)they may even sob and weep when they know that they(这两个they包括前面,一共三个they指向有些模糊,个人认为需要点名出来)will have to leave their intimate friends. As for me, however, I feel more positive to that circumstance. The reason why I feel in that way is as following:
Thanks to the modern transportation, well-build internet , and telephone net and well organized society, Nowadays, we can communicate with each other more conveniently compared to the times when the only method to communicate information with each other is via writing letters. After I graduated from university, I found a job in another city which is far from my hometown where most of my old friends stay. After I settled down in the new city, I found that the connection between my old friends and me become much stronger. They will ask(时态凌乱了,注意过去时哦) me various questions, such as what kind of life in the city is or how the local people behave. We talk via QQ, a tool of online chatting and we call each other more frequently than when we are in the same city. When I want to see my friends or when my friends want to see me, I will invite them to visit my new city(你的新城市?直接my new home好些~ and take them to enjoy the local beautiful (这边两个adj相连也不行)scene. We can meet each other easily because of the high speed train operation in China. Moreover, I will never feel alone when I stay in a new city. I canjoin intothe local life very quickly,learningthe local language and behavingthe same way as the native people. (这句话里三个横线部分是平行并列的,因此语态也要一致)
At the very beginning of thelife when(总觉得这里有点别扭,但也说不出来怎么改)I come to a new city, I will have more time to make myself came downcalm down my mind and think about the life in the future, and (另起一句)it is not easy to do this when my surrounding are full of talkative friends. After I am familiar with the new city, I canmake new friend in the city,sharing their opinion about life and exchange idea about various cultures. In the new city, I can dive myself into the unique culture and enjoy the special local cuisine. I can learn more and experience more in a new city when I am young.
Admittedly, in a new city which is far from my hometown, the opportunities to have the face to face talk with my old friends are less than 先行词when I stay in my hometown. However, with the help of various tool of communication, the distance will not impede and hurt our relationship. Considering that we can make a new friend in a new city and enjoy a different way of life, I would like to stay in a new city when I am young.
To sum up, moving to a new city is not always a bad thing for me. As a youth, I would like to experience and learn more about different life and cultures. After all, we are not bound to live in a stereotype type of life, and we can try to live in new lifestyle which will help tohelp sb do broaden our vision of life.

以上为我的个人看法,总体来说文章在时态语态方面出的错有点多,老外看起来可能比较不顺,但是思路和立意没问题,第二段稍微长了,当然我的第二段也比较长。。。能精简一些就更好了

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-22 00:02
TPO 19
The lecture and the reading passage presented different opinion about buzzers. The reading passage stated that the buzzers will have bad impact on our consumers and society, while the listening material said that the reading passage was misleading people.

To begin with, the author in the reading passage claims that the buzzer will give a person incorrect information about the product, because they are paid by the company. However, the professor points out that a buzzer will tell truth information, because a company only find people who only has used the product and found it good.
Moreover, the reading passage declares that a buzzer will harm consumers, because consumers are more likely to believe what the buzzer talks about. In the opposite, the professor casts down on this saying. Consumers often obtain information about product though asking questions, and if the buzzer does not answer the question, consumers will not buy the product.
Finally, the author claims that the buzzer will have a harmful effect on social relationship. In contrast, the professor believes that a buzzer will enhance people's relationship, because the buzzer will tell truth, and he will tell other persons his experience of using the product.
作者: lemonyhu    时间: 2012-8-22 10:04
The lecture and the reading passage presented different opinion about buzzers. The reading passage stated that the buzzers will have bad impact on our consumers and society, while the listening material said that the reading passage was misleading people.


To begin with, the author in the reading passage claims that the buzzer will give a person incorrect information about the product, because they are paid by the company. However, the professor points out that a buzzer will tell truthtrue information, because a company only find people who only has used the product and found it good.


Moreover, the reading passage declares that a buzzer will harm consumers, because consumers are more likely to believe what the buzzer talks about. In the opposite, the professor casts down(是要说cast doubt还是就要说down) on this saying. Consumers often obtain information about product though asking questions, and if the buzzer does not answer the question, consumers will not buy the product.


Finally, the author claims that the buzzer will have a harmful effect on social relationship. In contrast, the professor believes that a buzzer will enhance people's relationship, because the buzzer will tell truth, and he will tell other persons his experience of using the product.



1、文章很流畅,用词也好

2、有一些小细节没有变大清楚,比如说最后一段的点

3、Lz的综合和独立都有一些两个一样的词在同一句话,或者两个名词连在一起的情况,要注意哦

作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-23 02:14
TPO 22
In the reading passage, the author claims that the method of "let it burn" has caused many damages to the forest and the local econonic condition. And the author does not think the "let it burn" policy is a good policy. In the opposite, the Professor in the lecture states that the "let it burn" policy is a good one, because it benefits the ecomonic and the park.
To begin with, the professor points out that after the forest fires, the scorched land has covered by new plant,and the plants have turned out to be more diversity. For example small trees have the oppotunity to grow in the park. However, the author believes that the fires cause large damage to the parks tress and other vegetation. Now the park has become a davastated wasteland.
Secondly, the lecture claims that the wildlife in the park has recovered. Even more, there are new species of animal live in the park becasuse the new opportuniy that created by the forest fire. And these new animals create new good chain for large animals. However, in the reading passage, the author believed that it is impossible for the animals to survive in the park anymore.
Finally, the author thinks that the fires compromised the value of park, which will have a nagative impact on the local tourism industry. In the opposite, the lecture casts doubt on this saying, and the professor points out that after the fire, the tourists come back, and they keep to come to the park every year.
作者: ykhjy    时间: 2012-8-23 14:32
TPO 22是 TPO 20 ~~~  修改:
蓝色good  黄色需修改  红色我改的 绿色批注建议
In the reading passage, the author claims that the method of "let it burn" has caused many damages to the forest and the local econonic condition. And the author does not think the "let it burn" policy is a good policy. In the opposite, the Professor in the lecture states that the "let it burn" policy is a good one, because it benefits the ecomonic and [片面,索性去掉把]the park.
To begin with, the professor points out that after the forest fires, the scorched land has covered by new plants,and the plants have turned out to be more diversity. For example small trees have the oppotunity to grow [信息错啦,文中是说trees被烧掉后,很多本来不会生长的植物现在有机会生长啦,然后有俩例子,都要写出来~~]in the park. However, the author believes that the fires cause large damage to the parks tress and other vegetation. Now the park has become a davastated wasteland. 【只要指出reading中的point就可以,不用reading中的细节】
Secondly, the lecture claims that the wildlife in the park has recovered. Even more, there are new species of animal live in the park becasuse the new opportuniy that created by the forest fire. And these new animals create new good chain for large animals.[文中是是说一些small plants给小动物提供了栖息地,让小动物继续生存,它们能活了,那一些predators自然也能活了,这就形成了一个strong food chain,这样的话就能反驳reading中动物会逃离park。] However, in the reading passage, the author believed that it is impossible for the animals to survive in the park anymore.
Finally, the author thinks that the fires compromised the value of park, which will have a nagative impact on the local tourism industry. In the opposite, the lecture casts doubt on this saying, and the professor points out that after the fire, the tourists come back, and they keep to come to the park every year.【细节太少了,为什么fire不会影响经济,要详细解释。】


【总的来说,结构是清晰的,但是有几点注意下:
  Tips: 1.这篇文章的时态应该是过去时
            2.lecture中的细节不够具体,reading中的细节没必要提
            3.每一段都表明reading与lecture相对立是好的,但是最好能直接指出他们俩的关系,不要只阐述他们各自怎么说的
                建议楼主看一下TPO综合解析  里面有说怎么打破reading中逻辑链的解释,还有怎么做笔记,我觉得对我影响蛮大的。那是个好东西啊~~ 哈哈
                       一起加油~~~    有问题可以来找我讨论喔~~                      】




欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/) Powered by Discuz! X3.3