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echosun2002

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echosun2002

What is the most important objection of education? To enhance the ability of academic of children, to foster children to think independently and to make children be healthy in mental and physical. As an old saying in my country, to teach people to fish is better than give them fish. Thus, in my opinion, it is better for parents to let children make and learn from their own mistakes.
First and foremost, When children undergo a failure by themselves, they will be impressed by the experience. There is no better way to learn more from mistake than to experience by one's own. When I was five years old, one day, I did my homework and there was a difficulty mathematics problem that I could calculate by myself, so my father helped me to deal with it. The next time, I met the same problem, however, I can' t finish it once again. Because I can't remember how my father calculated it! After thinking by myself, I resolved this mathematics problem and them I found that it was so easy that I will never feel worried about it. As I have said, when a child resolve a problem by himself/herself, they will never make the same mistake for the impressed memory.
Moreover, to give children more space to make and learn from their own mistake will be beneficial for them to think independently. And it's crucial for children to think by themselves. When children grow up, they will have their own life, establishing a family, fostering their own children. And parents will leave some day, as a result, the parents can't always correct children's mistakes. They have to think independently and resolve mistakes by themselves.
Finally, children who can correct mistake by themselves are more healthier in mental and physical aspects than those who always rely on their parents. According to the survey conducted by Academic of Social Science, children who are more independently are more stronger when they meet obstacles in life than those who are reliant to their parents. In modern society, people undergo a lot of pressure from different directions, including economy, work, study and so on, as a consequence, ironic will power will play a crucial role in success. Children who always make and correct their own mistakes will have more chances to success because of their strong will power.
In a conclusion, I believe in that parents should let children experience failure and mistakes, as we know, failure is the mother of success. Although the process that children correct their mistakes alone will be longer than that parents help children to deal with, this process is the best chance for children to grow up. Parents should be more patient of children's mistakes and give them more time to understand and learn from mistakes.

echosun2002

9.16独立作文
Just as an old saying: ideas worth spread, from the history, every technology breakthrough is originated from different opinions. So it's important for us to express our own perspectives even though the others disagree with us, because first it is a human right to state people's opinions and also different opinions play a vital role in exploring fact.
First and foremost, debate is beneficial to detect fact and resolution. That is to say, through different opinions, people will learn more about the world. For instance, Darwin thought that the evolution is gradual, however, some fossil indicates that there is burst change between old and new generation of an specie. So the other scientists stated different opinion that the evolution is burst in short time although Darwin's opinion was prevailling. After several acute debates, more and more scientists focused on the study of evolution, at last, they found that the stability of the environment affects the process of evolution. If the environment is stable, the evolution is gradual whereas the environment strongly alternates, the evolution happens in brief time. If the other scientists hadn't express their different opinion, we would have not found the relationship between environment and evolution. As a result, different ideas frequently spark new theories in variarity areas.
Moreover, to be honest is the prerequisite of all relationship such as spouses, friends and workmates. As we all know, trust is so precious and fragile, even if you don't state your real opinion for one time, your spouse, friends or workmates will know that you are not honest, how can they trust you again? Definitely, people always prefer to make friends with whom always state their real ideas, nobody would like to communicate with people who hidden their honest views. Stating real opinion make communication easier and straightforward which will be benefical to enhance bonds among people. From this point of view, people should always give priority to be honest in all relationships.
Granted, in some situation, in order to prevent dilemma, people will not express their opinion and keep silence. However, to be silence doesn't mean that they will give up expressing their own views. If one of my friends makes a mistake, I wouldn't point out his mistake in public because it will make him feel awkward, as an alternation, I will tell him about my real opinion in private.
In a conclusion, I believe in that there is no better way to enhance the relationship or to explore the world than to state our honest opinions. People who always be honest will obtain the real and beautiful relationship with others. In order to keep finding more rules of universe people should bravely express their different perspectives.

loverony713

echosun2002 发表于 2014-9-15 15:11
What is the most important objection of education? To enhance the ability of academic of children, t ...

What is the most important objection( 异议，反对；缺陷，缺点) of education? To enhance the ability of academic(不太恰当) of children, to foster children to think independently and to make children be healthy in mental and physical. As an old saying(goes) in my country, to teach people to fish is better than give them fish(背的不太准确). Thus, in my opinion, it is better for parents to let children make and learn from their own mistakes.

First and foremost, When children undergo a failure by themselves, they will be impressed by the experience. There is no better way to learn more from mistake than to experience by one's own. When I was five years old, one day, I did my homework and there was a difficulty(词性) mathematics problem that I could calculate by myself, so(不构成因果关系) my father helped me to deal with it. The next time, I met the same problem, however, I can' t(时态) finish it once again(用的不妥 因为上次不是你自己做出来的). Because(because不能引导一句话 这是半句话) I can't remember how my father calculated it! After thinking by myself, I resolved this mathematics problem and them I found that it was so easy that I will never feel worried about it. As I have said, when a child resolve a problem by himself/herself, they(指代) will never make the same mistake for the impressed memory.

【这一段你没有明确说明failure是啥 根据你的描述 你只是暂时忘记怎么做出来的 但是自己一做又想起来了。因为你说"mathematics problem that I could calculate by myself" 所以谈不上failure。 例子无法支撑论点。并且例子内部有点矛盾】

Moreover, to give(giving) children more space to make and learn(learning) from their own mistake will be beneficial for them to think independently. And(最好不用and开头) it's crucial for children to think by themselves.(这句话有点重复) When children grow up, they will have their own life, establishing a family, fostering (注意并列的词性)their own children. And parents will leave some day, as a result, the parents can't always correct children's mistakes. They have to think independently and resolve mistakes by themselves. (这句话依然没什么意义)

【这一段你没有说明孩子如何变得independent这个过程。你光说通过解决问题能培养这个能力 how？没有例子啊。父母会离开啥啥啥的和你的论点没有关系 你的重点应该放在孩子身上以及需要充分证明独立思考这个问题。论述依旧不够有力。需要细节】

Finally, children who can correct mistake by themselves are more healthier in mental and physical aspects than those who always rely on their parents. According to the survey conducted by Academic of Social Science, children who are more independently are more stronger when they meet obstacles(GOOD) in life than those who are reliant to(这个表达正确么?) their parents(比较不太好 你比较的是“是否依赖家长的孩子” 这个mistake没啥关系). In modern society, people undergo a lot of pressure from different directions, including economy, work, study and so on, as a consequence, ironic will power will play(这是啥) a crucial role in success. 【为何两者之间会有因果联系 你得说明白 也许困难让人更加沮丧呢？ironic用词不好。还有你依旧没有提到mistake】Children who always make and correct their own mistakes will have more chances to success because of their strong will power(good).只是末尾呼应了一下开头 木有啥意义 因为论述根本没有提到mental health & physical health. 说实话 真的不太扣题。

In a conclusion, I believe in that parents should let children experience failure and mistakes, as we know, failure is the mother of success(没有连词 这是一个完整句子). Although the process that children correct their mistakes alone will be longer than that(that指什么你自己清楚么？) parents help children to deal with, this process is the best chance for children to grow up. Parents should be more patient of(TO) children's mistakes and give them more time to understand and learn from mistakes.

echosun2002

loverony713 发表于 2014-9-16 18:33
What is the most important objection( 异议，反对；缺陷，缺点) of education? To enhance  ...

改得好认真，感动得泪流满面，在工作的间隙写出来的东西的确很粗糙，每个论点都没有很好的挖掘。多谢你的批阅，受益匪浅！

chasedreamabc

9.16 独立修改
LZ提升空间很大的

echosun2002

现在越来越多的人把钱花在宠物上面了,尽管钱还有好多其他的用途.

In the modern society, people are undergoing a wealth of pressure from different directions, including study, work, economy and so on. They need to relieve such psychological strain. As a result, more and more people have kept pets and spent much money on their pets. In my opinion, I totally agree with spending money on pets cause these lovely creatures drive off people's loneliness, lift their masters' spirit and also expending on pets could afford job opportunities and boost economic development.
First and foremost, as pets are so cute and well-behaved, they play more and more crucial role in our daily life. Not only do they make us feel happy but also they accompany us through the lonely time. One of my neighbors is an old woman, living alone. She has a yellow dog. Just like old friends, every morning, she takes the dog to a nearby market, buying some food for herself and purchasing dog food and snacks for her dog. One day, the old woman tumbled in her apartment and could not stand up. The dog barked loudly out of the window. The district administrator was appealed by the bark of the dog and helped the old woman. From this point, it's worthwhile for us to spend money on our pets since they are like family members of us.
Moreover, nowadays, people are concerned about pets' health and appearance, as a consequence, there are so many pets hospitals, pets groceries and pets beauty salons which afford a lot of jobs. The industry of pets greatly generates employment opportunities and boosts economic development. According to a report published in the journal of social science in 2013, pets industry created 2 million new jobs which were 20 percent of all new jobs in Shanghai that year. Thanks to people who expense on their pets, people have more and more chances to obtain jobs.
Granted, it's arguable that people could spend money on their pets. However, we find that after every Christmas day, a lot of animals are abandoned. People are not supposed to buy pets just as gifts, once you purchase these creatures, you should take care of them as long as possible.
In conclusion, I believe that we should make our pets more comfortable and healthier since they afford us consolation and comfort. I totally agree with spending money on pets, but I strongly reject the behavior that considering pets as gifts.

loverony713

echosun2002 发表于 2014-9-18 16:52
现在越来越多的人把钱花在宠物上面了,尽管钱还有好多其他的用途.

In the modern society, people are unde ...

作文修改

echosun2002

一个大学为了吸引好学生，花很多钱给学生组织社会实践

When it comes to the issue that whether a university issupposed to spend lots of money on organizing social practice in order toappeal excellent students, people have different opinions, some agree with thepreference of social practice while the others think that good students willpay more attention to teacher resources and academic ranking. On a personallevel, I consider that whether a university should expense on social practiceactually depends on the situation.

On one hand, in the sake of attracting outstanding businessstudents, there is no doubt that a university ought to invest in organizingsocial practice. As we all know, there is no better way to foster businesssense than to participate in commercial activities in society. Only learningbusiness theories, students cannot obtain completely concept of business andenhance their ability of analyzing. I was a business student, what I learnedfrom professors was the theoretical knowledge, explanations of all economicphenomenon and business cases in the past. Not until I began to work did Irealize that requirements of clients are so various that I cannot deal withthem just depending on what I had learned in the university. If I had takenpart in some social practices, I would have learned more about business andaccumulated more experiences. Moreover, social practice will afford moreopportunities for students to communicate with people in formal ways. The abilityof efficient communication plays an essential ingredient in business, forbusiness are in fact negotiations among people with differentperspectives.  

On the other hand, according to students of sciences, nothingis more important than research laboratories which have advanced apparatus. Onthe contrary, social practice has a slight influence on their study. Becausesciences students concentrate on scientific research, they will spend a wealthof time in laboratories. My brother learned botany, he told me that when heobserved cell splitting, the accuracy of microscope straightly influenced thequality of the experiment. The more precise the microscope is, the moreaccurate the data will be generated. However, students on sciences could nottake advantage of social practice to enhance abilities of scientific research. Asa consequence, to appeal more elite in sciences, a university should beconcerned about scientific research and spare no effort to build a laboratorywith international advanced level.

In conclusion, I believe that whether a university shouldinvest in social practices to fascinate great students really depends on whatthe students focus on.

echosun2002

20年后人们有更多的休息时间
Have you ever imagined what life will be in the 20 years？With the development of technology and the delegation of responsibilities, people have been enjoying more easy and quick life than ever before. It is universally acknowledged that as time goes by, people will explore every avenue forward advanced technology and division of labor based on specialization. Thus there is no doubt that people will have much more leisure time in the future.
First and foremost, owning to such progressive technology, people will dramatically enhance the productivity and efficiency in 20 years, as a result, they could spend more time on recess than the counterparts are doing now. With the invention of the latest printing technology, which is called 3D, the production processes of a bicycle part have been shortened to one third of the traditional processes. As printing technology is more and more sophisticated, there is reason to believe that in the 20 years, the production of processes of a bicycle part could simplify to a greater degree. So simplified are the processes that people who produce bicycles could reduce tremendous working time and have more rests. Moreover, in the past, we had to spend 24 hours travelling from Nanjing to Beijing by train, in contrary, nowadays, we just need 4 hours to go to Beijing from Nanjing by high-speed rail. In the future, the speed of rail could reach to 700 kilometers an hour, at that time, people might use 2 hours from Nanjing to Beijing. Then, there could be much more time saving for relaxation. People could roam the street, tasting delicious snack and enjoying delightful landscape. How pleasure they could be!
Meanwhile, in the future, the division of labor will be more professional and detailed which enable people to reduce time spending on domestic chores. Every day after my work, I have to buy my own groceries and cook for my family, we prefer to have dinner at home since home affords us more privacy and calm environment than restaurant, after dinner, my husband is bound to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. How we are eager to indulge ourselves in watching TV or listening to music. In the 20 years, due to appeal more customers, groceries or restaurants are supposed to supply cooked dishes so that people could save cooking time to have some entertainment.
In a conclusion, I believe that 20 years later, by state-of-the-art equipment and optimization of labor resources, people could have more rest and amusement.